My husband doesn't seem to like me now that I'm showing

I am currently 19 weeks pregnant. Since I’ve started showing my husband doesn’t show me any love or affection, we started sleeping in different rooms. He said we need to spice up our marriage in the bedroom and every time I try he rejects me then later on watches porn. I’m so proud of my bump (I didn’t think I’d ever be able to have another kid after an accident and doctors told me I couldn’t.) But he makes me feel fat and disgusting. What can I do? Please help

75 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband doesn't seem to like me now that I'm showing

Tell him to get his act right or you’ll find yourself a man that’ll appreciate you & your beautiful bump

35 Likes

Girl. I’m 9 months pregnant and my husband still shows me love and affection. There’s no reason for him to be acting like that. That would be a huge red flag for me.

35 Likes

Maybe you need to leave him for abit. Show him what his life will be like without you. If that doesn’t do anything then that’s a red flag and honestly you should leave him. For me I would’ve left him already. It wouldn’t be good for my mental and emotional health

20 Likes

Sounds like you will end up with 2 children. Baby and him

21 Likes

He may have a porn addiction and may need professional help to deal with his issues . The only way this will change is if he decides to change .

14 Likes

During my pregnancy I did what I loved and it showed in my glow. I ate healthy fruits and veggies, I walked daily, dressed super cute (mostly dresses), moisturized, and did yoga. All of these that filled my tank were things my boyfriend loved about me when we first met.
Go back to YOU. Your basics. What you like to do. Love yourself first. Find out his love language, don’t let him sleep alone, go get nestled together. Sleep naked, shower together, I truly believe in connection and nurturing oneself to nurture another. Blessings to you, sis!:white_heart:

29 Likes

Communicate how you’re feeling to him!You’ll find out how he feels and it could be something serious or trivial. Either way, something is bothering him and maybe he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or he’s a jerk. Just ask and get it over with or you’ll always be second guessing yourself and that’s not fair.

12 Likes

We aren’t all wired the same way, do you feel he loves you less? It sounds like you are just missing out on sex, is that a reason to feel unloved if it’s just a phase? It’s not ideal, but I don’t think his judging you, he probably just need time to get his head around it

I’m sorry I know that hurts. Tell him off screw that

3 Likes

Maybe he has a legit fear that he will hurt you. Communication is key. Its not that hard.

6 Likes

Hey I feel like that alot now that I have a tbi. Honestly just do it. I just walk by my husband and start rubbing his dick. Hia ever I’m not pregnant either we have a 7 month old.

Guys will shut down and go to porn or going out more when they stress. Especially when they know their freedom is coming to an end :unamused: or know financially things are going to change.
Maybe he is scared to hit the babies head. I had an ex like that.

But to avoid you completely… that’s a red flag.

My ex did that. Guess what I moved out 3 years later. Don’t stop working and save everything for back up to be ready to walk if you need to.
I had twins my ex went crazy on me. I now have a bf who loves me and wants a family. Wants kids wants marriage. Wants to travel and do all the things with kids and build a family foundation. I can go on and on. I never felt that kind of love for myself or my girls until i met him

There are some guys that are Estatic to be married have a wife and kids

Some guys want it but not bad enough. Like my dad didn’t really hold us and still doesn’t hug us but he cares about us. He left all the work to my mom. Now he is seeing me struggle with the kids and he said he should’ve helped out more around the house and felt like an ass. Like my mom is someone’s daughter who didn’t get treated well enough. Because he expected my mom to have the house spotless and the food on the table and us girls not fighting. He never realized how often kids have meltdowns etc

Make sure your man loves you and wants to fight for you and shows it everyday because if he doesn’t be upset and let go and move on. You’ll find someone that appreciates you and everything you do for your family. And they will want to provide for you and take care of you. Good luck.

2 Likes

Communicate with him. Tell him how you feel ask him why he is acting the way he does. If nothing improves or changes then you can either stay and try to fix it and decide if it’s worth it or leave.

5 Likes

Goes and watches porn? After pressuring you to spice up your love life? He sounds like a true winner. :roll_eyes: ugh.

45 Likes

Everyone is quick to say leave him. Some men have fears of having sex with a pregnant woman.
(Yes some are just jerks) but don’t be quick to write him off. Sit down and have a long chat about how you are both feeling.
If it turns out he’s just being a jerk and prefers porn then leave his ass.

18 Likes

It’s called use your words. Just ask him why tf not.

3 Likes

Telling a woman to spice things up while she’s pregnant…LoL…selfish prick!

4 Likes

If the OP was the one who didn’t want sex or affection not one single person on here would tell her to leave. Y’all would say it’s ok, it’s her right, he should understand… blah blah blah…:roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

It’s ok for your husband to feel this way. In fact, it is extremely common for men to be apprehensive about sex during pregnancy. It usually has nothing to do with attraction and more to do with feeling like they may harm you or the baby. Talk to him. Communication is the most important part of your family and your relationship. Learn to communicate.

Do not take the advice of 99.8% of these people and leave him. Good grief…leaving is NOT the answer to everything in life!

39 Likes

Girl get tough and be blunt and tell him if he thinks your unattractive being pregnant he can pack his stuff go and that you deserve better. Do not allow him to treat you like a doormat or that you don’t matter. Love yourself enough to know your selfworth.

39 Likes

Talk to him, if you don’t get some real answers, then go to therapy. That also said, a lot of men get weird about having sex when their partner is pregnant.

7 Likes

It’s not about him not wanting sex it’s about him making her feel less than what she is. If he makes you feel useless or fat or unattractive then he 100% does not deserve you and he will do the same once your body doesn’t bounce right back after the baby. I’m sorry you’re going through w it. I’d try to talk to him about how it effects you and honestly if it continued I’d stop trying all together. Give absolutely zero effort.

7 Likes

My ex husband did this very thing to me, he didn’t want anything to do with me while I was pregnant …even after.
The problem is him not you…
I’ve been happily divorced for 20 plus years…
No look backs🙂

7 Likes

Some men are nervous about sex with pregnant spouse. Fear of hurting you or the baby, causing you to go into labor prematurely, fear of feeling the baby move during and throwing the concentration off. Talk to him about being intimate, or take him with you to a drs appointment and bring up the topic so a dr can let him know its safe to have sex. It could also be starting to become real to him that his role will be shifting to father.

Well what is going to happen after the baby comes. you are probley so horney you need to be touched and loved on . Darn I made love to my wife right up to the moment. I was a Lil afraid but she led me thru it talk to him you take over make him want it. Good luck hon.

Hi Talk to him about your feelings and find out about his… He may need therapy but don’t allow his reaction to you to make you feel bad about yourself. Being pregnant. Is so special💜

My husband has done this exact thing to me. It’s devastating. It completely ruined both my pregnancies, my self esteem and our relationship. Babies are a ton of work as is and makes it hard to find time to be intimate, with the added shit going on in my head about not be attractive to him after what my body went through to give him 2 perfect healthy children it’s completely ruined. We’ve done therapy, I’ve tried to stick it out and say this is just a time we are going through, but it’s not ok. I have a 3 year old and 9month old and we are now trying to figure out how to separate with 2 babies. It’s the worst. I’m so sorry your going through this. Please try to enjoy your pregnancy and keep him out of your head.

My husband just got so scared and too in his own head that sex just became work. He’d resort to porn as well. He was worried over everything as I was extremely high risk and it was our first. Even though we all know it’s impossible…he couldn’t get rid of the thought of “doinking” our son in the head with his one eyed monster…Don’t put more pressure on him by thinking about your own insecurities. He has them too! Honest to God, get you a good dildo and relax. Start leaving it out where he’ll see it, shower, under his pillow…etc. Eventually he’ll get horny enough he will not be worrying about hurting you or your baby, he’ll just need you. Try to be patient, guys are overgrown toddlers who need just as much reassurance as we do. Wishing you all the best💙

Some men get freaked out at the thought of their baby growing inside your belly while they are having sex. It’ll pass, you are also extremely emotional at the moment, not to discredit your feelings, but maybe back up a little and let him come to you :woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3: distance makes the heart grow founder

#1 problem I would have is turning to porn. You need your love and affection. If he can’t understand then seek counseling

I’m trying to remember 40 years ago when I was pregnant…my husband was there for me in every way.(RIP) have a great day in heaven :heart::heart:

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I don’t have any good advice but I’ll be sure to keep you in my thoughts. I hope things get better for you. Hugs.

Therapy is needed, but a strong willingness to quit pornography is 100% necessary on his end.
Ending the porn consumption is a MUST. Without cutting out that toxin, long term improvement and healing won’t happen. Start there.

My children’s father just didn’t like the belly . Wasn’t attractive to him :woman_shrugging:t4:. Some men are like this

1 Like

Show him what he’d be missing and walk away for the emotional state of you and the baby your growing in your body. Stress on an expecting mother isn’t good for her or the baby. Maybe in time he will realize what he’s got at home, maybe he won’t but at least you’ll know where you really stand.

Leave him and be with someone whose going to make u proud to have that baby bump! My husband made me feel so sexy during my pregnancy. Even after my c-section he made me feel like the most beautiful woman alive. U deserve that! Every woman deserves that. Honestly sounds like hes interested in someone else though.

Create an OF and show him how any man would want you. :laughing:

2 Likes

Ask him pointvblank why he seems to prefer watching pirn rather than being intimate with ugly a straight answer it will help.u decide what to do

He is probably just afraid.

Some men are too immature and can’t get it in their heads to grow up step up and know how to treat a women during these times.
Think you need to sit down and lay out all of your feelings. Tell him that you feel no support.
This is only 19 weeks only going to get worse.
My partner didn’t stop being affectionate he loved my bump. Being woke up with kicks in his back from his unborn child was precious.
I hope you are able to find yourself again. X

3 Likes

He has feelings just as much as you. He can feel his way and you yours. It’s very common for men to feel grossed out. Just talk to him and compromise. Honestly men are aloud their feelings and if it were the woman feeling this way yall wouldn’t bat an eye😒

Ok that’s called a red flag it’s time to start investigating maybe he is spicing up someone else’s sex life just saying

My husband didn’t want to have sex when I was pregnant but he still showed love and affection. I think that’s more the problem here. It’s pretty common for men not to want to have sex for fear of hurting the baby or thinking it’s just creepy (which I get😂). The fact that he all of a sudden shows you no love or affection is odd though.

If it’s more that he doesn’t like how you look because you’re bigger, that’s an issue. Seems like his love comes with conditions. I would ask him what exactly the problem is. First step.

Pregnancy is such a beautiful thing. You are more beautiful now. What a chump. Leave him.

It’s okay for your husband to not want to have sex.
If it was the other way around and he was pushing it on you, everyone would be all salty. If he says no, it means no.

“ we need to spice up our sex life.” But yet y’all sex life is non existent cause of him. Makes sense … I’d try to really sit and talk and get his side also tell him how all this is making you feel because this is not fair to you at all. Smh

Talk to him do you think your feeling bit insecure some women do maybe he dont think your fat and ugly perhaps he is worried he will hurt baby ?

Throw the whole man away

He sounds like an asshole. Screw him.