The last thing you should be doing is looking for advice on fb. There are plenty of ppl you could talking too. A dr, counsellors, a good friend even the local minister. But fb???
Look at this from his side, your out at work interacting with others see people earning the money, he is isolated at home, probably getting depressed, no money to call his own taking care of kids. It’s an old fashioned view but men see it as demasculating not earning, living of a woman,. Perhaps you should suggest that he gets a job and you stay home.
It sounds like he needs to go out and get himself a job, I’m guessing he’s been feeling a bit useless and isolated. If he can go out all night to play cards, then there’s no reason why he can’t go out and get a job
He sounds like a liability. Tell him to move on and hire a nanny. Everyone will be happier.
As someone who is a SAH parent, until my new baby is a bit older & we’re not mid-pandemic… It is so isolating & exhausting. Maybe he is feeling your frustration, which is why he isn’t feeling connected to you. 12 hour days being at home with the kids is… well, I appreciate getting to be around them, but especially now, when we can’t just go do normal activities, it is lonely, stressful, emotionally exhausting. If I had a group of friends to go be with in the evenings to wind down, I would. & you bet, after being Mommy all day, I’m gonna scroll on TikTok, & FB, just like I am now. 
Do I love how much time I spend on social media? NOPE! …but it’s the only adulting I get, so nobody gets to fuss about it. For some, that is gaming instead of social. I used to work 2 ft & 1 pt job for a while, after I went back from having my first baby. It was exhausting & I missed my baby, BUT the SAHP thing is draining in a whole different way, and it’s definitely more taxing. Someone who hasn’t done it, especially during the pandemic, can respect stay at home parents, but they can’t fully appreciate the toll it can take on someone who isn’t built to be home. Maybe get a regular sitter if you can, to reconnect & be involved with him, outside of the everyday work & parenting grind?
I’m sorry to hear. We teach people how to treat us. “There are not victims, there are volunteers”. Blessings for you and your children.
Pack his bags ,since he spends so much time at his friend’s they can take him in 
You deserve better than that. He has made you question your own worth and that is so wrong. How would he feel if the tables were turned?
Sounds like some of the women out thier but the shadow affect…your good make the right choice table has turned
How old? He’s going through a midlife crises where he thinks he’s a teenager again. I would have said let him have his freedom for now as it doesn’t usually last long but if it really has been going on a couple of years and it’s this bad then it’s time to move on lady 
. And how is he your husband if he doesn’t want to get married?
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Definitely are not overreacting. Sounds like he needs to decide what he really wants. And then actually communicate what it id
Well first of all while did you let’s this go on so long,the first thing I would do is hire a babysitter so you can and he can be available for each other ,than try your best to do something together, take times for a trip together,sometimes we be marriage so long we take everything for granted, and the respect always go after that , then try a nice dinner at home,invite friends over try to keep it exciting at your home,if There is no different in him,then you much ask him and yourself, can we save our marriage because you still love him and you would like to tryouts this new change you try to do with him,then he must answer your questions then,because he knows you are seeing him for what he has become ,but please try with all your might to save your marriage, when you marriage him you said together for better or worse,he if he don’t want you anymore let him leave If that what he wants to do,if he don’t leave let him stay and help raise those Children,it would be helpful with both parents,good luck to you it sadly for someone to be together and depart after many years together 
He sounds like a 3rd child. Maybe he needs to get a job. I personally would take a break from it all
I know it’s hard and it hurts… but you must protect you and your children… you already know… Try to be cool, and get some legal advice. It will be hard because they will tell you to cut him off… but try to get as much in place before you have THE talk. Suggest counseling. Make it clear how much he has to loose. I know , in your heart, that you want to believe he cares. If he tells you that you are over reacting or everything’s “fine” don’t argue just pack up, close the bank accounts and file. If he shows any amount of care… well that’s up to you but keep your cards close and don’t show your hand!!! Keep quiet and watch but be careful. You are a smart Landry who wants the best for your children. If you are supporting the whole family you can do it alone. Write everything down! Keep track of his behaviors and your children’s. Report him missing, so there is a police record, anything official that you have. No one will listen to “hear say” … If he is not invested in making a change you need to toughen up ( no matter) how much it hurts or you love him. This is war and NOTHING is far in LOVE and WAR! Prey for yourself and your babies! You’ve got this GIRL!!! Be strong and Good Luck! May God be with you always!
he’s cheating honey. kick him out, maybe you can get help from a friend or relative, but that’s over, been over for years from what it seems
Oh hell no. You need to give him a choice of either hitting the road or being in a committed relationship and helping to take care of those kids. Nope, no way, no how would he get a way with that crap. Get a lawyer ASAP.
If he doesn’t change his behavior, kick him out, you‘re just loosing your time with him.
I personally think he lost hope in himself he needs responsibilities so he can feel like a man again. Make him get a job. He’s acting like he’s in high school. He needs to be back in the real world. I think it will make him remember his self worth. He’ll make new friends that don’t have energy to be up all night because they have to work, or he can work overnight and be up all night. He’ll be a better example for the kids, they can see what he’s doing as well and they shouldn’t be raised to believe it’s okay. Give him a deadline tell him if he doesn’t have a job before the new year he needs to make arrangements to find a new home, it’s not like you’re not already sleeping alone every night and it will hurt at first if he does leave but you’ll remember who tf you are after 13 years. Instead of sending date night ideas motivate him to work give him a few options if he doesn’t know where to start, but don’t be over bearing and make him feel less than just be firm with what you say “Listen you need to do a 360, it’s time you get a job I’m giving you until the Holidays to do so, I’ll help you the best I can to find one if you’d like. After the holidays if you’re still not working we will need to discuss new living and co parenting arrangements. I don’t want to push you away I want you to be a better you because your poor habits are an example for our children and I can’t allow them to believe it is okay to hang out and play cards all night. I’m coming from a place of love and I think it will make you feel good about yourself to have another purpose in life aside from helping take care of the kids.”
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Just in case you decide to separate.
You did not say how old are the children.
Put your youngest in school if he is not.
Let him get a job first.
If not he might want you to give him spousal support.
Star practicing taking the kids to school.
Do like if you live alone.
Prepare before you take the step to leave him or separate.
It will be very hard at first but eventually you get it.
Start paying your bills.
Open a separate bank account on your name only.
My ex was self employed so it was hard.
One thing good is that you are leaving of your salary, I went from 2 salaries to 1. No suport from him.
Save proof of any papers.
O and if he does not help you financially, go to children services for child support.
Good luck.
He sounds as he has an addiction bro online games! The power they hold over someone is really crazy …
U married a narcacist. Everything is not your fault. He won’t change, leave. Be happy.
Sounds like he’s checked out of the relationship, but is staying as it’s comfortable and he gets away with doing nothing but hang out with his friends all the time like he’s still a teenager whilst you care for supposedly your children and go out working hard to support your family.
He could be tired of being at home doing his but but he should be making an effort with you too and see you and treat you good. It’s about balance.
You deserve to be adored and loved, cared for and appreciated, amongst other things. I’d have a good talk with him with some ultimatum that you mean and follow through with
A real front he heart conversation to find out what is going on, ask him to tell you how he feels etc
Then depending on such said, tell him to leave. You don’t want this anymore either you are clearly unhappy drained and sick of it.
You could say he’s welcome to come back if he makes a change but you know what they never change
Keep smiling, enjoy your life, be a role model to your children, a strong independent mother and do yourself and them proud. You can do this 
Feel ya, but we’re not the right authority to be asked for. But one thing is for sure, life tends to do things that isn’t our wants.
It’s time to wake up and smell the roses if u know what I mean
I would be separated in order to make a decision to continue with a man who behaves this way
I’d go with whoever has the most likes for their comment. Best bet is to leave though
Find yourself a side dude !! Your hubby dont deserve you…Get dressed up and tell him to watch the kids cause youre going out…Go out with your friends…have fun…as soon as he sees you getting dressed up and going out…things will change !!Kia Kaha !!
I think he needs to find things to do a few hours during the day as well… it will solve a lot.
I would Hire an PI… this way you can see and know what he’s up too. Or at least tell him you’re thinking about it… lol
Are you sure he isn’t with another women. Sounds weird to me
What if the situation was reversed ? Would he put up with you doing the same .?
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I tend to agree with Vicky. Check out Google and read about characteristics of a narcissist.
You would be better off alone…and you would do better.
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Tell me what you need this man for again?
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Your “boy” has a girlfriend. Why isn’t he working?
Could he be suffering from depression?
You’re not over reacting you should move on. They don’t care anymore 
See if he was just doing this on one of the nights I could understand because as you said stay at home Dad he might need time away from kids too. However every single night is insane and selfish. Like he doesn’t care about you at all. Seems like he is acting like a glorified baby sitter. Is his relationship with the kids Ok?
I’m sure u know the answer deep down.
Please move on. Pack his bags. Send him to his friends
Basically tell him to DO ONE. He won’t change hun. Good luck. You deserve a life x
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Maybe once a week, but all night long?!! No, never! He can go out until midnight or 1am/2am like the rest of society, or 4 hrs max! He’s married w/ young children, and has responsibilities just like you do. Who cares if he stays at home? Many husbands do, especially now! Women have been doing it for centuries! He needs to make his family his priority! If he is that overwhelmed w/ being a stay at home daddy, or bored, I’m sure you both will gladly pay for a daycare so that you BOTH can go to work! Actually, I’m sure it will help your marriage as a whole, you bc you don’t have to put up w/ him going out all night long(possibly cheating or wonder if he is),him bc he’s actually contributing to his family, and the kids bc dad isn’t “too tired to care for them”, and mom is “ at work”. I guarantee when he has to get up for to work a 9-5, 3-11, or overnight job, he’ll change his mind QUICK! DO NOT let him change your mind about quitting his job through anger(intimidation) or guilt! Stay strong sister:bangbang:
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I smell a rat avery big one at that, time to get rid of the vermin.Then it will be new you and the kids you can do this
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Been there. He does not want to be in the relationship. Let him go, don’t hold on to long.
He has already left you let him go
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Let him go. You’ve been holding your own all this time.
From a man’s point of view, he is with another woman, I’m sure you found evidence of things on him, perfume, sex when he comes home , blaming you for his guilt etc. tell him you love him But, we need counseling or a divorce. It’s not going to get any better. The woman is younger and makes him happy period. He’ll pay child support and alimony. You will be hurt for awhile but, you will get over it in time. Treat yourself to a new you and feel good about you. Buy you some new out first and look fantastic. You deserve it
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How about he gets a job and take some responsibilities 
Don’t waste one more minute— your not living- your existing for his pleasure! Wake up- grow up - and move up to the life you and your kids deserve! Just do it — cause it’s not gonna change!
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Maybe its time he has a job
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You’re married to a teenager… a kept man… send him to work no more free ride
You already know the answer to your question, ma’am .
You need a break thats not a relationship.
He wouldn’t get back in my house 
Mabe he needs a part time job
You are in denial, he’s having an affair.
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Sounds like only one of you is married and acting responsibly, and one of you is very selfish or perhaps immature. What does this guy contribute to the relationship, and to the family? I would say that if there is no respect for you or your kids…you may be better off and happier apart.
Better off with out him he left your relationship long time ago
You need man not a little boy
You’ve got 3 kids. One who babysits and disrespects you. Cut him loose and hire a nanny.
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I’m a SAHM and let me tell you, from the constant cooking, cleaning, etc and never ever having alone time to yourself cause you either have a child attached to your hip or your partner attached to your hip and I’m an introvert for the most part and I really value that me time where I can lounge around and watch shows and not be interrupted or have to partake in conversation all day everyday. I get him wanting to go out and have a friends day and relax but if it’s constant and he makes no room for you and him that’s a problem. Try counselling ?
He not acting like a family and is irresponsible as a father. His behaviors towards you are disrespectful. I think you know deep down what going on and what you need to do. He not helping support his family at that point he is a burden on you emotionally, financially and not a healthy relationship for you or your children. You are already doing it all on your own. You need to think about you and your children because he not.
You dont get a refund of time because of a bad relationship. What He is doing is blowing off responsibilities, acting like He is single. I left my Ex husband when He started pulling similar stuff on me and divorced Him. Either your my partner or you are gone. I hope you do what is best for you and the kids.
I’m surprised you are still with him. Does he bring in money in.
I no bs used to be like that and honestly I had to make a choice friends or her after I got her ultimatum I love my wife shes who I chose to live rest of my life with soon as I noticed it bothered her so badly it made her cry I let them all go nothing’s worth my queen hurting i amsorry and honestly if he had a heart n truly loves you at all he will see that too… I still play video games I work with wife too it’s fun we try challenge n match one another on paychecks lol but now I make sure video games is with my son as a quality time with dad kind of thing 1hr max rest the time it’s me and her n we been happy ever since
He’s cheating on you. Period end.
He done moved on in his mind …you already doin all the work in the…what do you think should happen…if u let it go on it will…put him to the curb . For ur sanity
Is this real like seriously is this a joke wtf this is plain crazy
Read what you wrote…Your answers are in what you wrote. He’s not home when you are. You know the answers.
If he’s a stay at home parent but too tired to bother with the kids, what exactly is he contributing to your household other than an emotional drain on you?? Lawyer up and gtfo!
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Counseling then a lawyer.
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Time to re-evaluate I think. He’s got it pretty good really why would he change?? Kick his lazy arse to the curb
Your man is in a relationship, hon.
He’s a narcissist and he’s gaslighting you. Point blank run 
He could do with a swift correction with a size 12r.m.williams boot.
Sounds to me like he’s a narcissist and if that’s the case you ain’t ever going to change him, they only care about their self they are not able to have compassion or empathy for nobody they’re always the victim and it’s always someone else’s fault best thing you can do just tell him to the curb and let the trash pick him up. Not meaning to sound cruel but I’ve been around and had the same thing happen to me and once I kick them to the curb my life has been so much better
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Not crazy in my opinion. Husband was the same and now we’re separated… Soo… no advice but just wanna say you’re not alone
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honestly I would just get divorce papers. just have them sitting around and tell him he can act single but he needs to sigh this and get out of your house. your clearly already doing this by yourself.
Talk to your husband. You’re being dramatic . Stop being so controlling . Be fun. It’s super uncomfortable that you’re bothered by your husband having friends . I wouldn’t want to be married to you either if I couldn’t go out with my friends without you acting like it’s the end of the world. No one should spend all of their time together
The whole lot of you in the comments are demonizing this husband by solely what the wife says and I would bet his version isn’t half as bad , and probably more true than hers
Sounds like he has already left the relationship…he just doesn’t have the balls to say so. He’s just waiting for you to make the decision to leave and then he will make you the bad guy. I’m sorry. Men can be such jerks.
He’s had it too good for too long. If he can party he can work. Tell him to get a job or get out. If you are happy carrying the weight then its time to hit the reset button so he pulls his head in. Its located right beside his anus so when you boot his ass out it will only take hours - days for him to realise he’s a dickhead and come crawling back.
If he was a woman you’d all be saying oh they’re just burnt out. But because he’s a man he’s checked out. Double standards. Why is he a stay at home dad? Maybe he feels lonely and lacking self confidence?
Sounds me he just using you for a place to stay & sounds like he is blaming hoping it will all kick off because he don’t want end it he wants you to do it so next time he out all night make sure all his stuff is outside by the front door you can & will do better then him he has lost the care for you & your children he is going out like he is single with no responsibilities get out well you can before it makes you feel even worse
The man is probably physically and mentally exhausted. I get it, I’ve been a stay at home mum for years. Why do we all rally around stay at home mums for support but then when a stay at home dad very obviously needs a break hes in shit for it? Jfc.
I’d be upset. I’d try to be understanding and tell them I understand they’re tired and have a lot going on but that you do too. And when he isn’t there for you, you feel you can’t be there for him. Remind him that you don’t want to take his friends or life away, just share his life with you and to please share let you share your life with them. You two are a team. Remember that you need to have a friendship as well as a relationship. Tell him you’d like to work on your friendship and your relationship and that you both probably have some things you need to work on, and that if he feels upset or anything, to please talk to you because you want to be there for him.
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Sounds to me like there is a little more involved than just hanging with the boys. Tell him to get a job, he’d have less time for goofing off and obviously talking about it hasn’t made a difference. What husband hags our all so called withbe boys coming home the next day and why would you put up with this? Sounds like that boat has already sunk.
Sounds like he might be burnt out from home life? Sit down and have an open convo about how you are feeling then ask how he is going.
You just need to give him a ultimatum he is either gonna get his shit together or he can move out. If he choices to move out he has already found someone else.
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My question is what do YOU look like? How do y’all communicate when you’re actually communicating? Many men & women think that after you’re married everything you did to get that person has to come to the end & it should never end. Obviously it’s a disconnect in your relationship. Ya gotta figure out where it is. Sometimes a simple phone call or a text just saying I’m thinking about you or I appreciate you goes a long way.
Sounds like he’s just there for comfort, possibly cheating and using you cause he don’t want a job … crazy thing is if you divorce him he may get spousal support 
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Youre not over reacting hes a man child you amdont have to put up with it get rid of him
Girl your first red flag is that he doesn’t work and just plays video games get rid of him
Sounds pretty much he’s a narcissistist. Selfish self centered and emotionally abusive. As well as having no respect for u.
U know in ur heart that this situation isn’t right or u wouldn’t be asking.
U can’t make anyone happy and it is unrealistic to think u can change him or please him all the time.
When does he please u.
If he makes no effort to engage with u by going on a date or just spending time with u doing whatever he’s left this relationship already.
No grown mature man goes out all night every night when he had a family. When does he sleep? During the day when he’s suppose to be taking care of the kiddos.
And what does he do all day if he’s not doing housework or laundry. Probably sitting on his lazy ass playing on his phone or watching tv or worse yet sleeping!!!
Sounds like it’s time to face up to what u fear.
Being alone and raising ur kids alone.
But I can tell u from personal experience it just isn’t worth it.
No it won’t be a picnic or easy but u will be a lot happier. No one should call someone that they supposedly love stupid!!!
Or that they are always right and ur wrong! Screw that crap!!
Time to take care of ur self and ur kids and stop trying to cater to this grown childish disrespectful butthead.
And last but not least what example are u setting for ur kids.
That u are a doormat for others to stomp all over.
So plan ur escape carefully. Because these kinds of people don’t want to loose the power they think they have over another person.
And they will suck u dry!!!
U can do it!! Hundreds of other women have done it.
And u can too. U deserve so much more. Don’t waste another minute of ur life. U will never make this person happy.
U can only make ur self happy.
And being alone isn’t so bad and it’s not the end of the world.
Sounds like I’m telling u what to do but only because I spent 15 yrs with someone like this and I let fear keep me there. But I never felt more alone and unhappy than I did for those years.
I adopted 3 grandsons at 52 yrs old. And the thought of having to raise these boys alone at that age was a really a scary thing.
It was a financial hardship and it was a huge responsibility but I did it and it’s the best thing I ever did.
And I imagine u will be surprised at how well u can do. I know I was.
Just the fact that I never had to hear all the ugly disgusting remarks or not being respected was a huge relief.
I didn’t have to be responsible for anyone else but myself and my boys.
I could come and go as I please I could manage my own finances.
So give ur self permission to choose ur self over an ungrateful man child.
Pack his stuff up and sit it on the porch and have the locks changed. I myself filed for divorce the day before. And I put a copy of those in an envelope and taped it to his suitcase.
And never looked back.
Ohhh hell no!!
I don’t even have words for this , but he’s trash, sounds like a Narc and you are being gaslighted.
Take your kids and go, there is nothing left of this relationship.
He may wear a wedding ring, but he’s not married. You are. As far as he’s concerned, he’s single. If he doesn’t see the problem, there’s no point trying to fix it. The fact you believe that when he’s hanging out with other women “he mostly plays cards and hangs out with his friends” tells me you’re not being honest with yourself either.
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Bad enough he doesnt work. Then hes not a good family man at all… time to go
Chuck him in the sea and start again
Ha ha ha no he would be out of the door!
That’s not your man that’s a roommate
Time to fine a man who cares for u an kids.they are there
He’s living like a teenager. No job, hanging out with friends, playing video games. DTMFA.
Dump his ass , he sounds absolutely useless