Give things time. If your first child is only 2 what is the rush? Maybe your husband will change his mind. I think in the time being, you should focus on your marriage and getting back the relationship you had before your pregnancy.
A relationship changes so dramatically once a new baby arrives, not always for the better. We tend to forget to take time for each other. You need to plan date night, and time alone. Not for the purpose of baby making, but for relationship strengthening. How much time do you make for the two of you? Very little Iâm sure. Did you ever think that maybe, no matter how much he loves your baby, he misses the couple you were before you had a child? He may just be concerned that things will get even worse and your marriage will end.
Donât have another child so your child now has a sibling. Donât have another child to try and make the relationship better. If both parties arenât on the same page, it will not work. Having a child(ren) with a helpful partner is hard as heck too. Most things fall on the mom. Pray and communicate a lot about this. Good luck. 
You need to have this conversation with your husband and not facebook and not asking facebook for advice. If you feel that you are struggling to communicate with your husband then seeking professional help like going to therapy is what is needed. Whether you start by going by yourself or going together as couple. Unfortunately you could have and or still have post partem depression and that needs to be dealt with before bringing another baby or any other child into your home. Iâm talking from experience with post partem depression. I went a few yrs after having my first son with it before I started to go see a therapist. My husband and I were rocky with our relationship. Eventually I did get pregnant with our 2nd child. I did continue with therapy after he was born as well. My advice is go talk to somebody first professionally and not to air your personal problems out on facebook for the whole world to read about. Do you think your husband would be happy to know that everyone in the world knows that you & him are having marital problems? This is something that needs to be discussed between you & him and maybe more then one conversation until you both understand where the other is coming but complete strangers donât need to know of your problems/issues.
I used too occassionally post things on face book if my husband and I were not getting along / disagreeing on a subject and he would get upset / mad if I would post about it cause he felt that not everyone needed to know when we were having a problem. Now I can see it as being a little disrespectful to my husband by posting about our problems.
Remember: The relationship is between you & your husband and not you, husband, & the rest of the world
Labor was hard on your husband ???
Having only one child is just not right unless itâs your only option. Just explain to himâŚour son needs a brother or sister to share things with and grow up together. I raised three children and LOVED every minute of it.
I would not bring a child into this dysfunctional world. Get a puppyâŚ
Your husband has NO right to push/force you into a pregnancy you do not want. And you have no right to do that to him. Love your son, and work on your relationship.
Iâm in the opposite boat with my husband. He wants to try for a son (I have a 13yo son from past relationship) and our daughter just turned 2 Saturday. I wanted another baby for so long but when I found out I was pregnant I didnât really want a baby anymore. I love her like crazy so it is what it is. I do NOT want more. I gave him one child so he should just be happy with her. Plus he knew if I had a c section (which I did) that I would not have anymore because I am not putting myself through that shit again. Iâd say for now (I know youâre older parents) focus on your son and relationship with your husband and hope he changes his mind soonish. Good luck!
I am beyond disappointed by the responses, acting like marriage struggles are uncommon. Have do any of you even have children? How many of you are newer moms or are you all so old that you forgot what it was like to have a child under a year old?? When you get married you must adjust, and when you have children your marriage must adjust. The first year is hard, shit I can honestly say that my sex life has sucked since my daughter was born and she is 16months old now. Having a crappy sex life is not out of the ordinary for new parents, your exhausted from baby,work, ect your body may not be back to normal.Your family dynamics change and that is normal! As far as the next kid, give it some time, and when your other one reaches 2 say hey, lets try again, IF he is apprehensive maybe say we will try x amount of times and if it doesnât work we will be happy and grateful for the child we do have.
Get family counseling.
Coming from someone who always wanted 2 kids but now I am fine with one⌠You wonât change his mind ⌠Pressuring him to change his mind will only make your relationship worse. My husband has been begging since we had our daughter to have another baby and that kind of pressure almost ended our marriage. Things change, life happens, youâve gotta be able to adjust
You canât force him either have another kid. Your opinion isnât the only one that matters. If he donât want another kid then he donât want another kid and thatâs perfectly fine.
Ones okay in this day, my grandaughter is the only one, she likes it, she is 10âŚ
I understand wanting what youâve âenvisionedâ for years, but Iâm gonna tell you that the reality rarely ever lives up to the vision in your head.
Take a breath and try looking at all of this through his perspective.
- You had to go through years of IVF, likely thatâs what would have to happen again. Its expensive, time consuming, and stressful. All things that could potentially take away from the child you already have.
- You already had a traumatic labor. Doing IVF already puts a pregnancy into high risk category. Being older increases you being high risk. Again, this could take a lot away from your husband but also the child you already have. Time and attention. But you as well.
- Things were rough after your first child. Your relationship suffered because you didnt handle being a new mom well. Another child could break a already rocky relationship. If one child was overwhelmingâŚ2 will be even more so. And a young child will not be so understanding as a grown man.
The bottomline is that he has legitimate reasons for not wanting another child. Reasons that while you know themâŚi dont believe youâve truly looked at them or really considered them.
If you force it, youâre probably just going to damage your relationship even more.
Maybe talk to hubby about this instead of Facebook strangers.
You have to respect if he doesnât want another child, that being said you canât press the matter either. If youâre worried about time frame in order to have a child then you need to make that clear to him, explain to him how long you personally are willing to wait. If by then the relationship isnât fixed and youâre still wanting a child, you have every right to leave. When my partner and I got together he wanted a child with me and then after we miscarried he didnât want another one. I donât press it, I donât ask him for another baby. I told him what my plans were, and being a mom was apart of my plans. That I loved him and I wanted a future with him, however when we got together we had the promise to have a child together, now youâre backing out of said agreement. I was honest, I told him I wanted another child before I hit 26, that was as long as I was personally willing to wait. If we couldnât come to an agreement by then maybe itâs best we go out separate ways. I would never want to force my partner into anything he doesnât want to, that being said Iâm not being forced into anything I donât want either. I want more kids, if he doesnât want them by the time I said I wanted to have another child in my lifetime. Two way street, if itâs not where you want. Maybe the relationship shouldnât move forward.
Having children changes everything in a relationship mostly for the better but thereâs someone more important than the both of you now it takes time to adjust. With the more children you canât change what he wants now seeing his wife and child in danger will change his mind about putting you in that position again. I would wait a while without saying anything and you never know he might talk to you about it. I have a 10 year gap between my 1st and 2nd didnât want it but life got in the way. Maybe talk to him and say can we let nature take control so if you fall pregnant naturally but not trying so you donât put pressure on you both. Try and have some adult time I know itâs hard but relationships take work, talk to him honestly about how you feel then leave him to think about it. Good luck and I hope it works out for you.
If you had real trouble getting your son, it might be best to not go through it again. I know someone who had a multitude of IVF miscarriages and it destroys relationships. Your husband also doesnât want to risk losing you either.
You could adopt, lots of children need good homes and it doesnât put your health at risk
We have two and had always agreed to two. Now that we have two, Iâm weighing a third before I get too old. My husband isnât totally on board, and I support that. I told him he knows where I stand, and I want him to make the decision with how heâs truly feeling. Iâve always said the person who wants the least number of children wins. I donât want to force another child on my husband to have him resent the child or me and ruin our relationship because of it. Going from one child to two was also a VERY HARD change. Our relationship didnât change much after one kid because we were both able to give our daughter attention together. With two, both kids pull is in opposite directions. Things are starting to settle now, and Iâm getting a little more time in with my husband, but itâs been harder for sure.
It sounds to me like you havenât actually had a serious conversation with him about how he feels and why since you seem to just be speculating about his feelings and motives. It sounds to me like heâs right to worry about your relationship if thatâs the case. I understand where youâre coming from, but ultimately you canât force him into it and if you do, he will resent you. It especially sounds like it wonât happen without interference, so it doesnât sound likely to happen on accident. If you want another kid, youâre going to have to work on his concerns first.
Um forcing another baby? Not a bright idea.
Youâd be pissed if it was the other way around. You got to respect what your husband wants. Youâre not going to change his mind. But the 1 thing that will change? He may divorce you over this if you keep pushing.
You need to talk to your husband about this. Fix your relationship. Very rarely does a new baby fix anything. And forcing him to do anything he doesnât want? Is wrong on your end. He matters too.
Can you not consider adoption of a younger child? It wonât be such a toll on your body and you help a child who desperately needs it.
He might be thinking about u if had a rough delivery with your son and might not want anything to happen to you or another child so might be scared .
Less inimate and argue more and u want another kid? U lost it? He dont want another u should respect that
Donât push this. And be happy you have your son. I learned the hard way always wanted a child I fell pregnant it was no wanted buy father. So he choose to cheat lie hurt me and went through years of abuse because he was so unhappy and felt I pushed him into something he was not ready for and something he didnât want⌠I had so much upset and hurt in my and my daughter life until I said enough is enough leave which he did for 16 months. Then we become a family again. And had are second daughter⌠and again after where alit of problems some men donât deal well with children so please if your happy and ur son is happy and u are try to be happy with what u have and not what u donât cos pushing leads to heartbroken be happy with what you haveâŚhunnie⌠x x
Heâs only 1 give it a break 
takes 2 years for for your body to heal
I will be honest. I wanted to have 2 kids as well. I was 34 when I had my son and we also tried for long time to just get one. It finally happened after all the stress from trying went away. The pregnancy went well but honestly I had a very hard time getting our son out and almost had to get an emergency c section because I was getting to the point where it was getting dangerous for me and my son. Its ok if one changes their mind specially if going through such a hard time and It just changes ppl because they do not want to see that person go through it again and be worried about losing both. I know it changed my mind after all that. My husband was very supportive about my choice not to do it again but I also told him how I felt about it to help him understand why. U can ask him and see what he says and then just be supportive that all u can do.
Maybe he makes it clear that heâs happy with 1 just so that if it doesnât happen (ivf isnât a sure thing) then youâll know heâs happy as things are
Considering your post if youâre having problems in your relationship and you should seek this one child but I read a few of these post none of which came from a single child what I mean by that is that your parents my kid didnât suffer for being the only child my stepdaughter was an only child until I came along with my two kids she told me that she wished she had a sibling and was grateful for the two that came along sometimes itâs not what you want itâs what you need to do itâs never about you but about other people if youâre having a hard time in your marriage donât bring a baby into this world of baby does not fix adult issues they will still be there if you have a strong marriage it will survive donât have another kid to try to fix it
Honestly it sounds like youâre saying things were tough for the relationship with a young baby and now things are finally getting better. If thatâs the case, maybe having another one wouldnât be good for the relationship? Only children are just as happy as those with siblings.
I wouldnât put more strain on my marriage yes its getting better now but what do you think will happen when you have a toddler and a newborn . I have 2 children 4 and 8 months and its hard . You donât want him to have resentment toward you and boom now your a single mom of 2 ⌠being an only child is not bad I was one. . I had plenty of cousins and fiends I wouldnât give up my baby for the world but would have been perfectly fine with just my son
You admit your tired and grumpy with one child, and it put a strain on your marriage, a second child will double that
I grew up an only child. Mom couldnât have more children. I always hated not having siblings. My husband is one of four and we had 2 kids so they have lots of cousins which is good. My son has four kids. I love it!!!
My mom was an only child born to older parents(perhaps there were fertility issues way back then) and she hated it. Her dad died when she was 20 and her mom when she was 24. Thank goodness by then she and my dad were just newly married because there was no one else for her. My other thought is if the wife wants 2 children and the husband only 1 how does the wife come to terms with his decision and live with her desire for 2? It seems like someone has to concede and give up their dream. Of course there are issues like the cost of ivf to be considered as well if money is a problem.
I loved being an only child and so did my son. You and your husband went through a lot to become parents, just enjoy it.
OK a couple things stand out to me. 1. Your hubby does not want more kids. 2. Your relationship is not great right now. A baby will not change either of these things, and may actually end the relationship. Are you willing to pay for more IVF to be a single mother?
That should be between you and your husband. Is having a second child going to be a finaciallly secure thing? Do you both work? And if your worried about your son he doesnât care if he doesnât gave a sibling.
Both of you should write lists of the positives and negatives of having another child. Swap lists. Read your partners list in another room so no one has to deal with any eye rolls or knee-jerk reactions. Choose a time when both of you are relaxed and can give the conversation your guy, uninterrupted attention . Then discuss, not argue .
Then the answer is no
YOU BOTH HAVE TO WANT THE CHILD AND NOT FAIR UNLESS YOU ARE BOTH IN AGREEMENT ESPECIALLY TO THE CHILD
My s.o and I have 2 kids each from our previous marriages, I always wanted to have 3 children. For a while he was against having another one, saying that 4 kids was a lot. He eventually changes his mind and now Iâm almost 5 months pregnant with our daughter
I hope everything works out for you
If you are pushing it that will cause the trouble in the relationship and lack of intimacy. Respect his feelings too. Or youâll lose him. Do you want 2 children alone or enjoy this one together?
Both have to want another. Be happy you have 1 healthy and enjoy.
Are you sure you want to give up what you have for what you want??? You were overwhelmed and grumpy? A second baby does not outlet your workload it quadruples it. Ask yourself if your marriage can survive another child? You readily admit your relationship isnât what it used to be.
Labor took a toll on your husband you were one in labor
If he really doesnât want another child, then dont pressure him because he will end up resenting you and your marriage will suffer further. There allready seems to be irreparable damage to your marriage and another child can cause more if he really doesnât want another one.
Donât push him. That was traumatizing for him. He probably canât take the thought of losing you again. Give him time and maybe consider adopting instead. Iâve got two beautiful nephews from adoption!
Why not adopt an older child.
Donât try and force another baby. If he has made it clear, leave it be.
How come husbands never get their way?
we could only have one. He is in forties now. He is the best.
Adopt a child who needs a family
Maybe he knows he canât afford another child.
Ugh donât do it⌠when they turn teenagers, you question all your life decisions 
Maybe he would consider adopting.
Private adoption. Let him choose the sex .
Check the source here, people. These are fake posts.
I completely related to your post when you talked about how you felt the first year of your sonâs life. My daughter is 4 and I still feel that sometimes. I was always a firm one and done, still am. Some things you should consider when it comes to adding a second child to the mix:
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Are you a better mom to one child? By adding a second child, you are potentially going to go through all of the things you went through with your first child, and magnified.
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Why do you want a second child? So youâre son isnât âlonelyâ? So is the second child only there to be entertainment for your son?
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Understand that there are zero guarantees they will have any kind of relationship once they are older. What if your son resents the new sibling? What if they never bond? There are too many âwhat-ifâsâ in that regard. Talk to adults who have siblings and see where their relationships are with their siblings. You may be surprised to find that most siblings arenât that close as adults. Yes, there are plenty of siblings who are, but probably not as many as you think.
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Your husband is clearly struggling with the idea of adding to the family. His feelings absolutely matter, just as yours do. Get to the root of why he feels the way he does and CALMLY discuss. Itâs not one personâs way or the highway, especially when youâre talking about another life. Is adding another child potentially worth your family falling apart?
Thank goodness my husband and I were both completely on the same about being one and done. There is nothing wrong with having one child. Society has pushed the idea that thereâs something wrong with people who have only one, that singletons are spoiled, entitled, lonely, struggle emotionally, etc. That is simply NOT true!!!
I would suggest you really sit down and figure out WHY you are so desperate for another child. Is it because you feel your family is truly incomplete and you long for that second child? Or is it more for selfish reasons and because you believe thatâs what you are supposed to want?
Pray about it and let God give u the answer