My husband fought with me on my birthday: Advice?

Today was my 29th birthday. It also snowed here where I live today pretty decently. We have a bakery about 3 blocks away and I told my husband that I was gonna take my 5 yr old(from a previous relationship) and walk with him to get some cupcakes. I was out on the roads about an hour prior, and they were just absolutely terrible where I didn’t wanna drive with my son in the car. My husband argued with me saying he didn’t want me walking when we have a perfectly good car. He even offered to drive. However, his license is suspended, so of course, I said NO. He bitched and carried on like a child, so I bundled up myself and my son, and off we went. By the time we arrived at the bakery he had my phone blown up with messages saying I better not use any of his money( we have a joint account STUPID I KNOW) so my son said to just use the money his dad gave him for the cupcakes cause I shouldn’t be miserable for being five that surprised me. So we got our cupcakes and walked home… was I in the wrong?! like im.crying my eyes out on my birthday because my husband just wants to be a douche. Oh, he said he didn’t want me.walking because I’m six months pregnant might I add. so now its 4 hours later and he still won’t talk to me saying how I called him a pos, and he grabbed a beer and went back to bed. Little fights like this happen often, but am I making a bigger deal cause it’s my birthday . or should. This is the final straw?!

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Happy birthday :birthday:
You know, relationships are tough.
Sometimes we say things that are better left unsaid, but once we say them, ugh, no taking that back :scream:
More than likely he said it in anger and just let that stupidity continue in his phone habits.
Both of you had important concerns.
You didn’t want to drive, valid concern as when the roads are crap 🤷
He didn’t want you to walk, valid concern as when the roads are crap 🤷
Not driving with a suspended license, also a valid concern.
Honestly, if this isn’t normal behavior for him, let it go.
If this is the norm, beyond little squabbles…well, that’s a problem, for both of you, it takes two to argue.
*On the suspended license, he’s an adult, he needs to get that dealt with asap.
**You’re also an adult, get your own separate account.
Sure, he could have walked with you. He did offer to drive, suspended license though 🤦
As far as your 5 year old offering the money, that was a very sweet gesture.

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Ok, I can see not wanting to drive due to the snow. I can also see your husband not wanting you walking at 6 months pregnant. What if you slipped and fell?! The “don’t spend my money” is a bunch of crap. As a couple and a family it should be “our” not “my.” Your son is watching everything. And at 5 it is apparent he has already seen/heard things he shouldn’t have simply due to wanting to cover the cupcakes. Which is not something a child should be worried about. Counseling or divorce.

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Maybe he was just worried about your falling and hurting yourself? Men handle stressful situations differently. In his mind, anything could have happened if it was as bad outside as you describe.

Happy Birthday! I would not stay and let my son be around him,seeing how he treated you because your son will think it’s okay to do it ! And if he was so concerned with you walking he would have walked with you and your son or he could have walked by himself and got them

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Your both in the wrong. He needs to learn to communicate better. You need to understand that he was looking out for your safety. You both may need to see a marriage counselor to understand how to communicate better. Your hormones are also a big reason why your upset. So take that in to consideration too. He could also be more understanding and offer to go with you.

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Let him cool off THIS time. And tell him your pregnant and the walk is good for baby. Let him know that it was safer to walk the few blocks than to drive since the roads are full of people who have no business driving on it in that weather. Then reassure him that the only reason that you didnt want him to drive is because of his licence situation and you’d rather him home mad and hurt or in jail. That’s my advise. But happy birthday hun hope that it gets better

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why did u have to go get cupcakes in the might i add, snowing pretty good… guess u dont value your life, sons and unborn child… your husband even offered to drive u and risked being caught and put injail for u to have cupcakes… What is wrong with u.

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I notice he didnt bother to go to the bakery for cupcakes…sounds like there’s more going on that hes not telling you about. Btw…go buy yourself a great birthday gift…out of the joint account…then tell him “thank you, I bought it out of your half the account”…

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He just didn’t want you doing anything you wanted to do and I really don’t know what to say to that ; I guess its a matter of how much you want to put up with . well I hope it will get better and not worse , good luck cause I don’t know what else to say .

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Happy birthday. It’s not good arguing at any time. Just try and make peace for the sake of your son. Xxxx

You are pregnant and you are walking in a snow storm really I can see why he was upset. For something you did not need. Heck i am not pregnant and i was going to walk to the gas station yesterday in the snow storm and my hubby told me no. Becuase i fall alot on ice. He was just worried about you and rightly so .

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Umm…you’re raising a son. The way your husband treats you is what your son is learning as “acceptable”. I left my daughters’ father, who was my high school sweetheart, after 15 years because one day it hit me that I’m teaching my two beautiful, capable daughters to SETTLE. Moral of the story…unless you want your son to be “that man”, you have to make moves mama…happy birthday. :heart:

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He wants to control you! I realize his concern for the baby but women can walk while pregnant unless Dr. Advises differently . Better get some marriage counseling now cause it’s only going to get worse if he refuses to go then you have to make some decisions about how to move forward. Even if you just get some counseling may help on how to deal with your childish husband

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It’s your birthday if you want a damn cupcake with your child you get a damn cupcake. I live in Colorado and I walk in snow often. Not really a big deal.

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Happy Birthday, get marriage counseling or a divorce because things are going to be harder with a new baby

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I don’t have any advice, I’m not a parent. But I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday!! :balloon::relaxed::tada::gift:

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Happy bday. Well if you didnt know before you should leave his ass. Its not about being worried its about control and he acted like a child who didnt get his way. Get out now

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Everything was just blown out of proportion. But the comments about your child and money I’m more concerned about. That’s just wrong and I wouldn’t let that go .

kinda right on both ends you didnt want to drive bad roads but he was also concerned about you walking because of you being pregnant and because of the snow think should let yourselves calm down then sit down and talk

Happy belated birthday. Not sure how to answer the question. I would look to your heart for answers.

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Happy birthday and your with child what he should have done is enjoy the family walk with you both but he was acting like a child. Your carrying a child and some women are a little mean as my family would tell me. You need to sit down and talk with him because there are other ways to handle things. Let me point out your SON YOUR SON is watching all of this and he shouldn’t have to see any one miss treated not even his mother.

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Happy Birthday don’t let petty crap ruin ur day just bcz ur pregnant shouldn’t matter.Hope ur son enjoyed the snow.

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I under stand him not wanting yall to walk its cold nd just cuz ur not in a vehicle dont mean ur safe from accidents but the rest was just added bull shit enjoy ur bday and move past it

Honestly im more on his side cuz taking a child out in cold nasty weather conditions is dangerous if u walk or drive (walking just means u have a less likely survival chance unfortunately)

I was 7 months Prego n I was rearranging my furniture n the kid’s dad said that I shouldn’t be doing that heavy lifting I done it anyways I didn’t care what he said

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I would walk out and leave him setting.for good

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Time to move on for your son and new baby

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I feel like a small thing has been blown out of proportion but there’s a lot of things involved. How far was the walk? Walking is good for pregnant women. As long as the child was dressed weather appropriate, I don’t see a problem with that. Him bitching about “his money” was childish and petty and should’ve never happened. But why did your son know about it at all? I wouldn’t read that kind of text to my child. I just don’t think it’s appropriate to upset the kids over an adult argument. Happy belated birthday, btw. I hope you enjoyed the time with your son. I think you and your husband need to have a conversation. You weren’t putting anyone in harm’s way. So, I don’t believe he was being overprotective. Especially after you saying that he doesn’t always treat you the way you deserve to be treated. My hope would’ve been that he would have offered to walk with you guys, as a family, and have a little birthday, cupcake celebration. Instead, he continued to act childish and rude. Maybe there’s something more going on. That’s why I strongly suggest working on your communication. And no matter what age you are, your birthday is a day that you should be made to feel special or at least treated well. I would expect and explanation and some changes if I were you. Good luck!

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suggest marriage therapy and see what he says

Happy Belated Birthday !! :gift_heart:

It’s unfortunate that your husband did not volunteer to walk to the bakery to pick up cupcakes for you. This entire situation seems to have gotten blown completely out of proportion.

Your husband may have initially came from a place of concern and wanted to do it for you. You both seem to have overreacted.

You may have overreacted because you’re expecting ( hormones are all over the place) and it’s your Birthday. He may have reacted from your emotionally charged response. If he didn’t then there’s some other issues going on with him like “anger issues” or a lack of “self discipline”.

Whatever the case you two may need to go to marriage counseling or couples therapy if you’re responding to small things in this manner. The entire situation seems petty and juvenile.

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Some make excuses to argue so they don’t have to spend money on your birthday. I wouldn’t have a joint account w/him. He bitches not to use money in account for cupcakes?? He sounds like a controlling POS. Get rid of him.

Just enjoy your day men are …!

My husband is like that except he doesnt call me names he doesnt want to walk outside and im 7 months pregnant he doesnt want too much stress on my belly considering i have very bad round ligament pains. Happy belated birthday

What a Asshole he could have offered to go to the bakery by himself to get you’re cupcakes or walked with you & you’re son, I don’t blame you for not wanting to drive, But it’s you’re freakimg birthday & you’re 6 months pregnant you shouldn’t be all stressed out & crying, & Sorry to say but you guy’s are married so it’s both of your money not just his, Since it’s you’re birthday go Spoil yourself you more than deserve it if he gets mad all well he shouldn’t have acted the way he did, He should also make it up to you for being an Asshole

So this is abuse and you child should come first.

he has a right to be upset. you pushed him away

If he was a real man HE would’ve walked and gotten the cupcakes for you

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