My husband had an affair while I was pregnant: Advice?

I really need advice…my husband had an affair when I was pregnant and before I gave birth I came back to him…I dont think I can get over whathe did…should I leave?

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Everyone is different how they handle it. If it were me I couldn’t do it. If you really feel you can’t get past it then you should move on and find your own happiness. You don’t need him to complete you

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If your not able to get over it. Then yes.

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Are you in counseling? Personal and couples? If not, maybe go through there first. If you can’t work things out, then make sure you have yourself and your baby protected. Couples counseling isn’t meant to make sure you two stay together.

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If you can’t let it go then yes absolutely leave. If you choose to stay I highly recommend counseling both individual and marriage.

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If your husband loved you he wouldn’t wanted someone else. Something is missing in your relationship. But I couldn’t ever trust him again. Therefore I would have to leave him in order to be happy again. Yes it hurts and you will be lonely but as time goes by you will find someone that treats you better and respects you. Know your worth and let no one use you for a rug.

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For me, once trust is broken ESPECIALLY when you are in a place you need support the most (like pregnancy) and they do it. It shows far too much disrespect and utterly breaks the trust. Marriage is a commitment supposed to be loyalty and trust based. If you have neither, why be there? Time to go.

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This is a complex situation because on the one hand if you were separated it’s not technically cheating but on the other hand you were pregnant with his child and that combined with there being any understood possibility of reconciling would make that pretty terrible but in any scenario, if you can’t get over it, it’s probably best to leave for your own peace.

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My heart aches for you. After having my baby and dealing with frustration pain and agony from her dad I decided to eradicate anything that take away my peace happiness or take away from me being my best person or best mom I could be. Getting rid of him and having that standard to hold on to has carried me for 8 years. I pray for your peace and healing.

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Yup. I def couldn’t stay and while i’m pregnant would make it so much worse for me. If you can’t get over it, leave. You gotta protect yourself and show yourself that you deserve better.

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Go. Enjoy your life with your baby!

The choice is yours. If you can keep it in the past and he as well. Seek counseling couple and individual

He will keep doing it as he already got away with it once, he does respect you or your relationship

Yes. You’ll never be able to fully move past it. I personally wouldn’t have gone back in the first place.

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Either way u will never get over this So sorry

I never would haven taken his sorry ass back. Your better than that!

Do what will bring peace to your heart, and into your home.

If its something you won’t be able to get passed, then it would be better to leave for good.

Do you really need to ask?

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Yes. You were carrying his child and he was loving on another woman while you sat in pain wondering about him. Leave him he is useless.

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Once a cheater always a cheater

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You just said you went back to him.and once a cheater alwayz a cheater.so you work it out.

My mom told me that when you walk away from a person in this kind of situation and go back, nothing will change. You first left because he caused you pain and if you go back you will give him permission to do it again. After cheating you can still have a relationship if you are willing to put in the work but why did he feel the need to cheat at all? Keep going forward and not backward. I am sorry for what happened you but there is life after being cheated on.

Once a cheater always a cheater. Especially while pregnant? That’s the lowest low. He put both you and that baby at risk. He only cares about himself. My ex did the same thing and my dumbass took him back. It eventually escalated and I eventually had to say no more.

If you can’t get over it, leave

If you can’t move on from it. Leave. Moving on from it, takes time and effort from both sides.

Have him killed and collect the life insurance.

This is a tough situation and if anyone here is honest they’d tell you that only you can make that decision for you. All we can do is give you advice o n what we would do if it was us.
So that being said here’s what I would do. I truely and deeply love my husband. If he cheated on me, I’d start by having a conversation with him about why the cheating happened in the first place. Whether that be between you two or with a therapist is up to you. Then you figure out what you both want from this life moving forward. If there was an actual reason that both of you can work on (because it wasn’t your fault, or the other woman’s {unless she persuaded knowing about you} it was his fault) and you both want to work on it, then work on it, try to make amends.
I would work towards things and reconciliation with my husband because I love him, but if that’s not what he wanted and he wanted out then we would determine the best way to do that so as not to disrupt the children as much as humanly possible.

While making amend might not be for everyone, it’s what I’d do.

Try writing it out, everything your feeling, make a copy, keep the copy to give to him and burn the original. It might help, it might not.

If you cant get over it then you should leave, or dont complain when he cheats again.

I feel like cheating while your wife is carrying your child is the lowest of lows. You deserve better

If he does it once he will do it again!

I feel for you wholeheartedly. I went through this… and trust me when I say… the resentment, the wondering if he will do it again, all of the feelings you are feeling, will not go away. You may mask them for a bit… but the thought will always be in the back of your mind. In my situation, he actually did it again… and again… and again… every time he begged, pleaded, cried, etc. I thought I was saving my family, but what I was actually doing was teaching him how to treat me poorly and giving him new ideas of how not to get caught. He was a narcissist. I’m not saying your situation is my situation… but if you can’t get over it, please get out. It has been a few years now and I still wonder what is wrong with me. So much so that my insecurities have carried into my new relationship. But luckily, my new man is so understanding and gives me reassurance. It’s sad and not fair that my old baggage got carried into a new relationship, but the one for you will help you carry that baggage, and also give you no reason to doubt them. I am so lucky to have found him. Loyal men DO exist. You just have to let go of the douche bags to find them.
I hope your situation gets better. :black_heart:

Yes unfortunately once a cheat always a cheat. :smiling_face_with_tear:

Honey, leave. You deserve better.

Once a cheater always a cheater they will continue to cheat because they know you’ll forgive them pack your bags and run run run run run run run run run run run run run

Should have never gone back

That is more a question you shouldn’t ask, it’s more an answer you should already know.

  1. He cheated on you while pregnant and married
  2. He has no respect for you and sacrificed his family. You deserve better and be with someone who deserves you. Throw him out or leave.

It sounds like you already did in your mind.

He cheated while you were pregnant. That’s about as low as it can go. Life is short and if you can’t put it in the past and don’t believe he’ll never do it again then that’s not a way to live. If you know the whole story and you trust him and he’s sincerely sorry for his actions then maybe it’s worth working on.