My husband has a chance to work away from home...thoughts?

My husband has the opportunity to work 6 weeks away from home and then be home for 2 weeks and then repeat. The pay for just those 6 weeks would be my entire yearly salary. He really wants to take this so that I can stay home and raise our kids. I’m kind of scared to be home that long raising kids by myself but I also want to pull them from daycare. Idk I guess I just need words of encouragement or advise if you’re in a similar situation!

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Best thing to do, is to try it out. You won’t really know until you experience it. My husband left for 2 days and I thought it was going to die…:rofl: but after those 2 days, he went away again and it was fine.

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I would definitely take this time to be home with your babies. You can always go back to work when they start school. Best of luck!

I wish my husband had that opportunity! You got this!

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My husband and I have been doing this for a couple of years. I basically raised my kids. But you can do it and it is for the family.

Let him do it!!! It’s hard but you can do it! My fiance leaves for a week at a time and it usually goes smoothly. We video call every morning and evening which helps a lot. It’s a sacrifice some of us have to make

As a mother with a husband who works in the oil industry. My husband work 2 week on 2 weeks off. I also my self work a full time job. It is hard yes with out a doubt. But it is so rewarding the time you get to bond with the babies is a blessing

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You can do this. You got it

Do it!! A lot of mothers wish they can have what you both are doing. That is a blessing!!!

It will make you more independent (a good ), which will give you more self-confidence (also good). Just be sure to let him parent in his own way when he’s home.

Go for it momma. As long as u trust he will respect you and remain faithful do it!

You do what’s best for you. Personally, there is no way I would have been ok with my hubs living elsewhere for 6 weeks, home for 2, away for 6, and repeat.

Do it… if it’s not for you, change it… But I’d do it for sure…

DO IT! My wife worked on the railroad for 6 months & the money was great, unfortunately she missed being home but man that money. If I could, I would.

My husband worked states away for 4 weeks at a time then back home for two weeks. It was hard, our kids were 2 and under and I had no help. But it can be done! We did it for about a year.

Some words of encouragement coming your way, you can do it tonight my future husband is taking a trail run at a new job that’s longer hours and I’m going to be alone with my kid and our dog a lot longer than I usually am but the job is closer to home which is what he wanted so even though I’m worried I’m stepping up if I can do it so can you :slight_smile:

Bye bye husband! Have a great trip! :joy:

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I’d say yes … But is there a way you could move together and be closer?

As long as you and him have a very strong relationship/marriage, this could work!! My Dad was an over the road truck driver and was gone, weeks at a time and I never even seen my momma stumble, being home with us, and working a full time job!! She loved my Dad, beyond the moon and stars!! You got this momma!! Praying for you!!

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You can do it! I suffer from severe anxiety, I just recently quit my job with my daughters school district to stay at home with my 3 so my husband could take an out of town job. And at first I suffered from just building my own routine without him. But it’s been six months now and it’s gotten super easy, I’m even finding time for myself to things I like. He leaves Monday morning and doesn’t come home until Friday night every week sometimes two weeks at a time. Just takes communication.

I’ve done it our whole 45 yrs of marriage. You get used to having your own space and sometimes you have to readjust to sharing “your” space

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I did it for around a year. It really gave us a leg up to start our own business. You can do it!

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You are stronger than you think…you got this! It will be hard but look at the benefits!

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Do it only if your husband is loyal and understanding!!! You know him better…

My boyfriend goes away for months at a time for his work! As long as you’re in a healthy relationship, it definitely works! The only difference is that I’m not a stay at home mom, I’m a full time college student/ part time CNA. So I don’t have much advice on raising the kiddos! What I find that helps is to keep a routine and keep busy!

Take it ! This would be amazing for you to be able to stay home with the kids ! And right now - so many are struggling to find work. I do know how hard it will be on you , but you can do this and your
Kids will never forget this ! I promise !

I’ve done this several times.

My husband regularly travels, but there have been times he’s been gone up to 10 weeks, flying home on the weekends. It’s hard on everyone, but doable.

My husband works offshore oil. Gone a month at a time. It’s hard af when he’s gone, not with my child, but missing him. I’d rather have him home than the money any day.

I’d do it. This kind of thing is needed in our current economy imo. It really gives your family a head start and financial cushion.

How far away would he be? Could you and the kids go visit him?

My ex husband was gone for weeks at a time. It was definitely difficult, and I never got a break even when he was home. It definitely contributed to our eventual divorce. But, if you communicate clearly that when he is home he is expected to give you a break and spend time with his kids. I’m assuming your kids are young, and that is such a tough time to be on your own.

To be honest that sounds like an amazing opportunity. You could trial it out by keeping your job and daycare during the first time he goes away for work so the routine isn’t totally and completely upended for the kids and then once you’ve adjusted to regular life without him there for a number of weeks you could drop your job or daycare as you adjust to your new normal.

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Best advice is to try it for a while and see how it goes. After a year have a plan together and be on the same page about the possibility of one or both of you not liking it. But why not give it a try?

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Life is full of trade offs. Give it a try. Do what you thinks best for your kids.

Do it. Also maybe see about keeping the kids in daycare one day a week so you can have a you day because those six weeks will be long without even having him home on weekends. Even if you use that time to run errands and grocery shop or clean the house. Plus it’ll be a nice day each week he’s home for you two to have a daytime date.

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder😁 Seriously though, with the divorce rate being at such a high percent in this country, it might just keep your love alive and stay exciting. And FaceTime at the end of day adds that spark to really never feeling apart😊

My husband works out of town. Some days are tough but it’s supports us (us and 4 kids) and our lifestyle. We live comfortably. Everybody wants that blue collar trade money but there aren’t a lot of people willing to make the sacrifices to have it. Also, my husband thoroughly enjoys his work and is partners with my dad. My dad was gone on work and now my husband is. That’s just how we’ve always rolled :woman_shrugging:t3:

At least try it but maybe you could work part-time just to keep you sain.xx

i say do it. in the long run, it’s beneficial. you could work part time or go back to work when they start school full time.

I was a military wife, if you have some support Do it

Chile my husband went on 4… 6 months deployments! I had 4 kids (boys) I even gave birth to one while he was gone. I was a stay at home mom nursing a newborn and newly toddler and still had a travel soccer player and a kid with an IEP You’ll be iiiight lol

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You can do it!!! Sounds like the pros are much better than the cons…as a military wife who lived through many separations, long and short, I learned absense makes the heart grow fonder!!!

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If your husband really wants to do this we have to support them too! It would be nice to up and visit him too in a place! Least he is making you move this week! & Being alone is ok! And sounds like he cares of your wants too - more money have the kids home stay at home is not easy make sure to have a support system family friends or a church!

6 weeks really isn’t that long and it could help your family out in the long run. It sounds like you would have more than enough money to have a sitter for your kids if you need to run errands without them or just have a me day too. I guess it depends how young your kids are too, and how much he really takes on after working all day(dinner, baths, etc).

Do It! Your children are only small once! Take this time & thoroughly enjoy every minute. You absolutely will not regret spending more time bonding with your children i promise :heavy_heart_exclamation:

Try it and see if it works for you. You can do it. It will take some adjusting but you can do it

I think if it financially benefits your family you should totally do it.

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Soooo my husband has a job sorta like this. Once you get into a routine, things become significantly easier, but it never gets “easy.”

I will say that if your husband is the type that likes to be super involved with the kids and doesn’t want to miss milestones…. He’ll hate the away time as soon as he misses something important.

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Mine does it constantly, it’s awesome :ok_hand: you’ll get so much ‘you’ time xxxx :heart:

If anyone tells you it’s easy, they are lying! But, if it’s helping you achieve what you want to do then it’s worth a try. It will take a lot of trust and strength from you both in different ways but it can work out well :heart:

It might not be worth it to you and that’s ok!! If it works out then that’s amazing too.
How dependent on your husband are you for help in general or with the kids?
How old are your kids and how will this effect them, cause it will!?
Is this a long term thing?
It is rough! And it’s not for everyone. Some marriages and families don’t survive long distances and some thrive with space. Only you guys will know. It’s lonely, stressful and unbearable at times. Have a support system in place for when emergency’s happen cause he can’t run home.
Money is amazing and definitely a necessity, but if it’s cost you your sanity and family it’s not worth it.

If you set aside your situation for a moment and examine the hitch your husband is considering 42 on 14 off (travel time on the 14) is raw deal compared to the 5 on 2 off ratio, they get 7 extra days out of him per hitch, = longer stretches of absence and 7 less days at home every 2 months

It’s a great opportunities to jump start your savings .only I wouldn’t quit my job because it’s going to be your time away from children something your not going to be able to do very often while hubby is away

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You can absolutely do it. See if any friends or family can help while you’re doing everything solo. Maybe someone brings dinner over once a week and hangs out? :woman_shrugging:t2:

Long term that’s an amazing opportunity for your family to make some good money and pay down any debt you have, save up for vacation or whatever.

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We used to do this for months to a year at a time when my husband was in the military. Now he’s a DOD Civilian and has to go for weeks at a time once in a while. You actually get used to it. Communication and trust are important during this time. Video chats and lots of calls when available.

You need a goal to work towards otherwise you will start to resent it. Do it for 12mm to or 2 years and then go back to normal. Save as much as you can on that time to get ahead of the game

That’s a long time to be away from the kids. I know military families do it . I dont see the reason to be away that long for just work.

don’t let money control your happiness. your kids are only little for so long and that’s a lot of time for him to miss out on. coming from an oilfield wife that lived this life for a good 10 years.

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Husband worked the oil fields for a couple years… It was rough. We only had one kid at the time. It was nice not having to worry about money.

It would be great if he took the job, and you and the kids could t ravel with him and you could homeschool.

That would be a hard no for me. No money is worth what the kids would miss.

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I have always believed in jumping on the money train. It does not always come around so when it does—go for it. You can always hire a teenager for help

Just think…financial security combined with that when he is home, he is there 100%. You can have your breaks, he won’t be worn out from working all day, he can help with the kids, the housework, you can go away together. It might take you a bit to adjust, but you’ll find your groove. Just need to make sure you guys keep up the communication and keep putting that effort into your relationship while he’s away.

As long as he is strong enough to still keep marriage together and still come home and be a good husband and daddy because the kids need him too .

More money, more problems. I’ve seen many marriages end this way.

Can you take the kids out of daycare & move wherever it is he’s going for 6 weeks? Or maybe just travel to that area with him?

Is moving close to where he will be working an option? That may be tough on your marriage.

My daughter did this for 6 years . It was good and bad . The money was great but it’s hard on the kids . She only had one at that time and they did a lot of video chats and she was able to drive to where he was every now and then and stay in hotel with him . The best part was she could stay homevwith her son. It can work if you want it to

I’d say give it a try but don’t quit your job until both of you know it will for sure work out.

Move there if that is possible… if it’s not possible, what obstacles are standing in the way of you moving there?

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shirt term pain for king term gain. it’s not about you it’s about your children’s future so u just buckle down and figure it out aoone

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There are millions of single mothers who manage multiple children. You are just as capable and competent. Give it a try and see. You won’t know unless you do.

Money?? Home & family!!!

If yall have a strong relationship then give it a try. But it will be hard on the relationship, kids and you having to raise your kids by yourself. In those 6 weeks does he get days off? How far is will he be working from home. If he isn’t getting days off, don’t expect too much when he gets home, because he will need to be rested. Every relationship is different. Y’all should sit down and write out the pros and cons. And what is plan B incase plan A doesn’t work.

It’s hard at first but it’s worth it. And baby those 2 weeks he is back DAMN will that night time fun be AAAA MAY ZZINNGGG

If your communication with your husband is great, I’d say do it.
It would save u money from sending them to daycare. But remember having your kids around all the time. You need breaks to :grinning:

If you have the opportunity do it!!! Those babies are only babies for so long and they’re better off in your care.

If you give up your job and your only source of income. What happens when you are handed divorce papers? Will you have enough of your own savings to start again? I think it’s a very head in the sand approach to just completely give up your job and source of income and rely purely on someone else. I’d never do it. Ever. No way would someone whip away all security.

If the money is THAT good. I would do it.

I was married to a first responder for years…you get used to the alone time and develop new routines…you plan around when he’s home for special things…I’d do anything to be a stay at home mom again like I was for 16 years as long as he’s on board and happy as well! You can always make adjustments down the road

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I’m surprised by the overwhelming number of “DO IT!” posts.

Child of a workaholic here. I just remember my father not being there. I didn’t care why. Did my mother manage? Yes. That’s not the only question. How did it affect us kids? Adversely.

Can you do it? Yes. How will the kids feel? How will he spend his two weeks off? Kicking back with friends or video games, or giving you a desperately needed break? Will he follow your lead with parenting? Or will he break all of their routines when he comes home and try to make up for everything he missed?

Lastly, and no one likes to consider this, how will you be compensated for staying home? Leaving the paid work force makes women very vulnerable. Divorce happens, as do freak accidents. Every year out of the paid work force prevents your salary and retirement accounts from growing. Be sure he has a sizable life insurance policy and that your stay-at-home contribution is recognized. If you had a pre-nup, talk with your attorney about a post-nuptial revision.

No, it’s not romantic, but the internet is full of posts from women who didn’t examine the practical, unromantic ramifications carefully.

It would suck for me at first but financially, I would so tell my husband to go for it

Mine works in the oil field. Gone for 3 home for 1. Sometimes it’s just 3 days home. I still work and have 5 kiddos at home. It will work as long as ya’ll communicate and video call. It just sucks cause no family time at all. Just think I see him 12 weeks in a year. That’s the crap part. Plus I work so I see him like 4 hours awake when I get home when he is home. Not sure he ever thinks of it that way but I do. Us women end up doing a lot on our own. Even if something breaks. You gotta be tough to do it that’s for sure.

I would do it at least try it out for a while and see how it goes, good luck sweetie

Do it. I know you can. My husband works everyday all day literally and I have 5 little ones. If I can you can :+1:

That’s how my husband and i lived for YEARS, except he was usually gone 3-4 months at a time. I was able to stay home with our kids, and when we could, the kids and i would travel with him. It worked great for us.

My partner is currently going to be working away doing FIFO (but with a 2-1 roster). It will be hard but I’d suggest trying it out, even for just 6 months. It could really help you financially to get ahead even just short term. It can also mean that you can work on your independence and hobbies for a little while. Plus, when he’s back, you can have more quality time without any distractions. Goodluck x

This day and time it’s worth it.

The first 6 weeks will be the hardest. If he’s earning that much and you’re going to stay home, you could always go visit him half way through for the weekend and break it up a little bit.

I honestly don’t think it’s worth it. I’d be lost without my hubby for 6 weeks at a time. You can’t get time back. But it’s a really personal decision imo

My husband had this near exact schedule. Together for 20 years, worked that job the last 5 years… Ruined our marriage, now he’s a drug addict, and I’m divorcing him. His love of making that kind of money, got to his head and it changed him. He got lost in drugs and mental health issues and chose that over his children and I (I TRIED to save him and nearly drowned myself). Family and marriage pereservation over money. Good luck.

Just remember it’s a temporary sacrifice, this isn’t a forever solution but until you guys are in a better spot financially

Of course you can cope alone. Wouldnt be in a rush to pull them from daycare tbh. Maybe reduce the hours to begin with…you might be thankful for the break especially in the winter months when the kids are stuck indoors.
Routine is everything . You’ll find one that works for you .

If it betters your family go for it you can always try it out I’d it doesn’t work something else will

Idk, money isn’t worth him not being present in his family. Money can’t replace memories.
Now if you’re only doing it short term to achieve some kind of financial goal then ok but if it’s meant to be permanent then I would say no.

If y’all’s relationship is strong then go for it and try it out and if he’s making that much why would you need to pull your kids from daycare leave them in so did you have some mommy time or keep them in just maybe two or three days a week so you can go out and do what you want to do and work part-time if that’s what you want to do

I can understand why this would be tempting for the money. I am wondering how old your kids are and how involved he is in their daily lives. Also, wondering about your support system.