QUESTION:
"My husband is so jealous. I recently had a gastric sleeve. I was never fat before kids, but after our twins, I was huge, so I had surgery recently, and I’ve lost over 100 lbs. I’m taking better care of myself, dressing cute, and doing my hair and makeup. I’m finally happier. But he is acting crazy. We’ve had so many issues because he’s mean and hateful. He used to say mean things about my weight and just about me in general. I’m the only one who works, and he leaves me all the work at our house. I want to leave him, but I’m so scared because childcare is so expensive. Does anyone know how to get through this? I feel so alone. I don’t have anyone to help me with my kids. What would you do?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
"You need to tell him. Go to counseling together and fix your relationship or leave. Or both. No one should be treated that way. No one has the right to treat someone else that way either. Parenting can be shared whether your together or not. Children need to see good choices being made. Healthy relationships and how to set boundaries."
"If he can’t be happy with you for your accomplishments then he doesn’t deserve to be with you. He should be your biggest fan. I'm sorry that you’re going through this..side note. Congratulations girl..so proud & happy for you."
"You don't deserve that kind of treatment and it's not good for the kids either, yes it's scary but you can do it and make him get a job a pay support and party of child care so it's not all on just you. You will be happier with it him and you can do it. I did it and now I'm in such a better place. Good luck."
"Try counseling. Sounds like he may be insecure and he’s lashing out . It’s not ok but if you love this guy you should try and work it out and then if it doesn’t help get a divorce."
"This is exactly what he was afraid of! Well he should know how to respect you and adore you! He has absolutely no respect for you and he thinks he can bully you! Show him the door! You can get assistance in child care!"
"Maybe he feels insecure. Be glad he is jealous. Have you tried reassuring him that you love him? Do you sit down and talk about how each of you feel and why you feel this way? Just don't walk away without trying first."
"Leave him and be a role model you want your kids to follow. If they were in your shoes 20 years from now, you as the mother would love them SO much you wouldn’t want them to feel that hurt…So don’t show them it’s acceptable. Show them that you love yourself enough."
"Would you have left him if you were still big? If not …at least give him one more chance. He's obviously insecure. Good luck to you! Congrats on your weight loss."
"Please just leave. Childcare is definitely no reason to stay with someone. Look into childcare subsidies."
"I say confront him, give him the chance to use resources to address his obvious mental health issue and if he refuses through denial he himself has an issue then give him the boot. There are many custody agreements that entail pretty much 50/50 and no one parent paying for full childcare if at all."
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