My husband has been rude to me since I got pregnant: Advice?

I am confused. Currently, eight weeks along and my husband is so rude to me. He has four kids of his own, and when we met, I was 28 weeks with my youngest. He treated me like a queen when I was pregnant with my last child, but this time around, he is just awful. If I fell asleep with the latest baby, he would let me sleep and care for my older two. Now, if I dozed off, he wakes me up, usually rudely. When I tell him that I am not feeling well and need help with our 18 months old, he gets upset. Often calls me lazy or makes side comments. Before we were married, he was amazing. Then we get married, and it’s a whole new man. I wanted to wait to have a baby as our last one is only 18 months, but he would get so upset and fight with me every time I would go to the doc for my birth control. I just don’t understand. Any advice? I don’t want to continue going in this way, but I don’t want to give up on the family we have committed too. Help!I am confused. Currently, eight weeks along and my husband is so rude to me. He has four kids of his own, and when we met, I was 28 weeks with my youngest. He treated me like a queen when I was pregnant with my last child, but this time around, he is just awful. If I fell asleep with the last baby, he would let me sleep and care for my older two. Now, if I dozed off, he wakes me up, usually rudely. When I tell him that I am not feeling well and need help with our 18 months old, he gets upset. Often calls me lazy or makes side comments. Before we were married, he was amazing. Then we get married, and it’s a whole new man. I wanted to wait to have a baby as our last one is only 18 months, but he would get so upset and fight with me every time I would go to the doc for my birth control. I just don’t understand. Any advice? I don’t want to continue going in this way, but I don’t want to give up on the family we have committed too. Help!

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Have you tried asking him and what was his response?

Try sitting down or if you can go on a date and talk to him about it

Well that’s your 18 month old, not his. Soooo…

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Sounds like your both confused… you should LITRELLY tell him straight how things have been and get your answers from him right there and then from him… i don’t know if its goin to be hard to hear or relieving… but either way, you have to make the right choice from there… for you and your kids

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If the current pregnancy wasn’t planned, maybe he isn’t happy about it. Not an excuse for his nasty behavior but maybe that’s why. Definitely talk to him.

Sounds to me like he’s overwhelmed with now even more responsibility being heaped on. Did he want another baby? Did he not, and you did, so you went with what you decided to do? Cause, I know that isn’t really kool to do to someone.

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Sounds like an asshole. I’m pregnant with my third and it was unexpected. Total nightmare. The guy is an abusive asshole and we live 50 miles apart. Some days I wish I’d never wake.

We dont know. You need to ask him.

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So there are 5 kids in the house? He may just need your help. He could wake you up nicer, but he’s probably stressed and needs help too.

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A men liked that dont sleep with me no more

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He needs a swift kick in the ass that jerk!

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He’s sounds selfish, rude and mean!!
He won’t change!!
Take care of You and Your Kids!!
Screw him!!

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So this pregnancy is baby #8? Holy crap. And he was kind with 7 children then became a jerk after marriage? :thinking:

Talk to him! Then ask him if he will go to couples counseling. If not then you go for counseling alone. Whatever is going on won’t get fixed if you don’t talk to him first

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This behaviour sets off alarm bells, for me. It seems, Now you’re married and pregnant to him, he feels you can’t / won’t leave - as though he has you permanently tethered to him, through your unborn child.
I’m not sure I’m the best person to give advice, but if that rings true, seek help asap.

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Hormones? Red flags already? U can do bad all by yourself… Good luck jus b careful n get out before it gets worse or to late :pray:t4::wink:

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What is it 2nd martiage

Maybe hes having an affair. Hes acting like a complete jerk!!!

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I’m kinda gathering that you’re a stay at home mom. I’m guessing he works, he’s prob just tired… Nap when your kid is napping, or just power through… but you definitely do have to do your part. Not saying he doesn’t have responsibility to help watch your children together, but sometimes love is about making yourself uncomfortable to help out someone you love. It should be mutual, you know?

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He is now feeling trapped instead of blessing. Don’t ever expect the sperm donor to feel the same way as before or as you do now.

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Until you mentioned he was the one who wanted another child, I would have said he’s probably just stressing with the whole situation, because that’s a lot of kids. But considering he wanted the pregnancy, the behaviour regarding birth control and the behaviour change once you’re now pregnant and ‘locked down’, it sounds a lot like controlling behaviour. I’d be wondering what kind of relationship he has with his other 4 kids, that would be a bit of a giveaway.

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If you cannot get contraceptives then have ligations ask your doctor about it.

I would run… and keep running… why would you stay with someone regardless of pregnancy and marriage who treats you like crap? Love yourself enough to walk away and build a better life… There is no reason for the rudeness or meanness… that is not love. that is not how you treat someone you love…

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Youre pregnant not disabled right? Could he be nicer about waking you? Probably, but it sounds like you have a tribe of kids running around the house and most people would need help with that. And if he’s taking are if the kids while you’re napping my guess is one of the 5, 6 or 7 of them did something to aggravate him, after a long or crappy day at work and he now needs help. If you’re not happy in this situation there are tons of options available to you. Talk to him about it and see if he can be nicer, you’re only 8 weeks you could have an abortion and not add another into the mix, or leave him, take your child(ren) with you and give this one up for adoption. You choose which one works best for you and your family.

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Not all men understand how draining early pregnancy can be, you don’t “look” pregnant yet but your body is working overtime. You stated he came into the last pregnancy quite late in the game when it was obvious that you needed help, 8 weeks it’s not so obvious (even then each woman is different and his ex may have had tons of energy at 8 weeks) so he may not realize how exhausted you really are…talk to him…communication is everything in a marriage.

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You need to put your foot down, and stand up for yourself! NO man, should feel that he is allowed to treat his wife, mate or otherwise with disrespect, like he is doing.
If he thinks so little of you, then maybe it’s time to reassess your partnership.

I’d sit and chat with him about this. First thing that came to my thoughts was he’s aloud to be grumpy on days too. Not saying to call names or being rude is nice. He’s under a lot of stress just with kids alone and knowing he’s got another to provide has probably just put his mind in a battle. Of oh shit a bigger family.
When someone forgets their manners with me my line is I’m sorry you feel that way and then I carry on. Don’t allow him to treat you that way but don’t go to war either dear.

Why do ppl choose to run instead of work? A marriage is a job and sometimes there are harder days then some.
You wake up and say, I’m going to either choose to love or hate.
I’m not saying to put up with abuse but why not work some situations out first. This is a man with how many kids? Not saying his behavior is at ALL acceptable but I’m sure she has made mistakes or even anyone in this group.
Stay prayed up and stopping running.

I saw something like this with my husband. I think some men get an anxiety related attitude thinking about the responsibility of being a father and every thing that being a father entails.If I’m understanding this correctly, the baby you were carrying when ya’ll got together wasn’t his, is this right? If it wasn’t, that explains alot given my “theory”. I’m certainly not making excuses for him acting like a jackass, but maybe sitting down and using the “I” strategy might help. You know what I’m talking about. When you talk to him dont use the words like “you make me feel…” or “what you are doing is making me feel bad” like that. Start and stay with the verbiage like “I think me being pregnant is unsettling for you” or “I need to understand why you are unhappy. What Have I done? Tell me so I can make it better” Do you see what I mean? Men cannot handle being in the position of wrongdoing
, it puts them in a defensive position. No one wants to be attacked. If you are just totally over it, hey do whatever feels right to you. If your trying to save the relationship, you might want to try my suggestion. Good luck and congrats! Being pregnant was always a super high for me. I loved the feeling of an actual human life growing inside me.

Leave him if idont feelsafe

He’s the typical abusive asshole. Leave him. Point blank he is now showing you his true colors.

If you can talk to him and see what’s going on. Maybe something is bothering him and you both are too tired to say anything.? Or maybe it’s his work who knows? Sometimes guys hide things until they can’t hide it anymore. But he has no right to call you lazy that upsets me. You need to talk to him one on one

Sounds like gas lighting a total head game . Council for help ,pronto