You have a right to no but dont assume til you ask …maybe hes supporting a secret child …who nos …maybe thier just in need dont no if you dont ask
Shady as hell but do the mature thing and ask him first. Not knowing how long you’ve been with him or if he’s ever given you reason previously to know he’s lying trust your instincts
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Come home after you leave for work and watch for her to come over then go in and catch them red handed
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Clear out the account and while he’s at work pack up his personal stuff into boxes. Put it on the porch with a note - xx wants to see you at 6 and I’d like a divorce.
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Oh my. I’d ask then probably say bye
Talk to your husband first
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All these people saying ask him. I bet 100% if you ask him he will gaslight you and flip everything on to how you were going through his phone. He’s obviously cheating on you.
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Honestly I would wait til the day and show up when they’re there. But maybe they’re planning something for you? Do you have a birthday coming up? Or anniversary?? I could see the need to text and send money if they were planning a surprise party. Clearly he wasn’t to worried about you finding out if he let you be on his phone. Most people with something to hide will gaslight you so you think you don’t need to see the phone
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Show up and see what’s up. Good luck girl.
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Just. Ask. not. Acusiory. But.as. an Ice. Breaker. then. If. he. Evades. Be. Direct
First, I wanna say that I’m so sorry.
Honestly, the fact that it’s a “mutual friend” makes it both of their fault.
He knows and she knows that you guys are married & she’s comfortable coming into your shared home?
Oh no, I think I’d be having a discussion with my husband and then my “friend”.
I’d also be filing for divorce.
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Oh god i am invested now!! I read all of yalls comments and i neeeed tobknow what happens 
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Following because I nneeeed to know what happens! 
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Wouldn’t even ask. From his phone copy the message and send it to your phone and delete the sent from his phone, install a hidden camera, especially the bedroom, or take an off day lie to him you are going to work or go out whatever excuse, leave and if its exactly the same time of their meeting if you got the information of her and if she’s not single would invite her anyone she is having a relationship with, especially if its her husband nice to have a witness to catch the both of them in an act. Also, don’t say anything just video record it and make a copy for divorce.
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Do you have a birthday coming up? If not show up girl!
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His bags packed at the door, bye!!
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I’d out in a personal day leave like I normally do wait it out bust them and confront both that way there is no half truths
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Put his clothes in trash bags and put them in her front yard. That’s how.
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I agree with everyone saying play it cool, and then catch them in the act.
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These catch them in the act suggestions could be dangerous. I agree with setting up a hidden camera. Only directly confront your husband in a public setting and with backup.
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I would have said something immediately, but that’s not necessarily the best thing to do.
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You gotta set him up. Get cameras! Hidden! Get your proof and file for divorce!
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Honestly, if you talk to him and ask you probably won’t get the truth. Why wouldn’t he have already told you? I would try and catch them together or set a camera up in your house. Your living room or something. They area cheap and easy to set up from Amazon. Something is clearly going on. And I doubt he will be honest.
Good luck, and sorry he is being sneaky to you.
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I’d have said something right away. But since you didn’t, just ask now. Tell him you noticed when you were sending his mom money that he had been sending her money and you didn’t think much of it at first but it’s been bothering you.
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Pop up at 6 and see wtf going on
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Everything about this is so far from okay. I agree that the best thing to do is catch them in the act because men do that really fun thing where they won’t tell the truth even if their life depended on it. It’ll cause more of an issue and he’ll become more sneaky. But if they are caught in the act, please confront the friend too. I’m so sorry. I would be fuming.
I also do think thought that if you wanted to address it sooner than later, it’s not a crazy thing to tell him you were sending his mom money and saw that he was sending your friend money and you were just wondering what for. If after he tells you you’re still suspicious then it’ll be time to catch them in the act.
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Pretend you go to work but call in sick and you will catch them in together. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Betrayal is not from strangers but people we loved and know. It sounds like they have something going on
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I wouldn’t say anything, I would show up at 6:10 like…
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I would leave work early and show up a few minutes after 6 🤷
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Be hiding around the corner at 5:30
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First set up a spy camera and go from there. Start putting things in order as far as bank accounts, etc. You’ll need the proof for divorce.
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Personally? I would confront him about it. Anyway you look at it, this behavior is extremely shady.
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Come home early from work.
Lol… I’m so different. So… I would not open my mouth or say a single word 
Then, I would down load this ap that you can choose any number to text from…and I would use her number. I would plan a nice dinner or get to get together with his mom there and several Friends this lady Friend…heck maybe even some co workers…hahaha
Then, at the dinner, I would randomly text him using her number saying…I think we need to tell everybody what’s going on between us cause I may be pregnant 
… First of all…it will be so relieving and fun to watch him squirm uncontrollably and you will definitely find out anything you want to know by his reaction…lol! Next, I would add her in the group text with maybe a few other Friends…and just start saying… Do you think she knows? She will be so occupied she wont see anything except the question…which now you can make to look like it is coming from his 
phone… lol. Talking about watching them squirm!!! Lol. You will know everything you need to know within about 15 mins. There are a few different aps that do this…and trust me…they work beautifully 
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Call in sick someday, wait somewhere or go to her house and follow her…I’d confront both
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I would act like I’m going to work 15/20 minutes after 6. I’d show up. Oops, I forgot my phone, then be like, why is she here when I’m not home? I don’t care if my man has friends who are women. But it’s disrespectful to have them over when I’m not home.
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maybe ask him??? I know it’s just a stupid thought, but talking about things, just might get you the answers, And yes he can lie. But he also could tell you the truth. Just a thought
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GIRL!!! I WISH I lived by you because I would have you park your car in my garage and we would hop in one of my cars (both have dark tint) and park near your house before 6!!! I am so livid for you! Say that they’re not having an affair, him sending her money alone behind my back would have me HOT!! Because why in the F$&! are YOU sending MY friend OUR money??? And then, THEN y’all have the audacity to be kickin it behind my back while I’m at work!!! Girl please come back and tell us what happened after 6:00!!
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Is he paying her child support? Are they planning something special for you? I would spy before I came to conclusions . If he is having an affair I wouldn’t let him know I found out until I put a plan in motion .then scr*w him royally!
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Women can do better detective work than the FBI. Dude’s cheating. Now just catch him. Don’t ask he’s gonna lie and try to cover his tracks. Track him, Catch him, Dump him.
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Following for update, praying for you.
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I believe the answer is spelled D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
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You’ve been served!!!
Set up a camera without telling anyone
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That’s a good idea 
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WATCH AND Take notes first! Proof is in the pictures! The more you have, with time and date stamps, the better off you’ll be! Trust me, I’ve been there.
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Randomly show up early like at 6:15
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Following for update
If he’s already deleting text messages then there is no point in asking him you won’t get the truth. How much do you trust the friend? I would do what alot of others are suggesting get a friend you can trust or a family member to be with you and show up when they think you are at work. Have whoever you bring record everything. It is possible they are just planning a surprise I hope for you that is all it is!
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Put a cam up honey, come home early from work. Think clear maybe a friend with you.
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Call out of work…or let them know you are going to be latr…but leave like you are going and then show back up at home …park your car down the block and walk up on them…good luck!
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I used to work night shift and came home at 3am bc I forgot my lunch and my husband and nanny were sitting on the couch chatting it up. Maybe “forget” you lunch and go back
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I would divorce him.
I would also be there tomorrow at 6!
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Show up at 6band confront them both.
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Have a conversation 
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Screen shot ut send it to your phone n confront them both bout it
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I’d go to the friend first… Tell her the hubby’s already confessed but you want it from her mouth too because its the least she owes you… Then when you have the truth you can confront him and decide what you want to do
Good luck 
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I’d be calling out from work leaving like I’m going to work stalking house wait abt 20 mins after she gets there and return home to find out wth has been going on
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Yeah nope !! The minute he deleted the texts you knew 
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WELL YOU GOTTA CHECK IT ALL OUT !!! But Be SAFE !! Don’t Be CRAZY !!!
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I would ask a friend to drive by randomly while you are at work. Wait for her to come one day, tell work you have an emergency then pop up! I am a lil petty! In the meantime, I would go to the court house, get divorce papers, fill them out and let him know I want a divorce when I popped in.
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All those saying divorce… hold up. There is no proof yet that they are cheating or anything is actually going on. We need more details from OP. Did he send her money just one time? How much money? You say mutual friend, but was he friends with her first or you? if he’s known her longer than it’s not out of the norm if she needs money that she would ask him first. Now the meeting up part does have me curious and is a bit shady. Find a way to be there for 6 that is the only way you are going to get your answers. You need the proof.
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I would confront them both you have a right to know come right out and ask the questions that need to be answered
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Confront it head on! Be open and honest and simply ask why he did it and why he didn’t tell you. If she is just a friend, maybe she got in a tight spot and was embarrassed. Still no reason to keep it from his wife, but don’t jump to conclusions. Just talk to him and go from there.
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Id set up a camera or show up if I was able to leave work/miss work. Id pretend like I was going to work and then pop up. Lol but I’d also throw hands and it would get ugly so if you can’t handle your temper like I can’t then I’d say camera but maybe still call off so you aren’t flipping out at work just in case.
I’d be so shitty.
I would be there at 6!!
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“I’ll be there at 6 too” lol no point in confronting him because he’s gunna lie . Just catch him up. Get what you need and you’ll have you answer.
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Straight to the point. No beating around the bush … no need to … you have all the proof / evidence.
If it was just this time, I wouldn’t be concerned. But you said “he has been sending money”
Be there at 6, if you REALLY wanna know.
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Call out of work tomorrow and see
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You need to confront it head on. Why in the hell are you sending so and so money and why are you going over to so and so house at 6 o’clock tomorrow? Point blank. No beating around the bush.
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Show up at friends house at 6:15. That way, his vehicle is in drive and he’s in the house…… of course, Unannounced
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I’d be there at 6:05
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You have to bust them out. I know personally they’re just going to say no.
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Lots being said, I can’t give advice cause I’m irrational 
…I would be there at 6 top, I’m turning up 
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Surprise them together. Catch them by their act.
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Could be hes cheating- could be he has a drug problem. You won’t get the straight answer on either unless you’re also there at 6
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Could they be getting you a gift surprise?
So is your bday coming? Could she be helping him get something for you?
Well if that’s a no… Surprise them, catching is the best way to “bring it up”
Just be patient, I know it’s hard not to say something or snare a remark here and there, but don’t.
Be sure, and the only way now is to pay better attention.
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So is your bday coming? Could she be helping him get something for you?
Well if that’s a no… Surprise them, catching is the best way to “bring it up”
Just be patient, I know it’s hard not to say something or snare a remark here and there, but don’t.
Be sure, and the only way now is to pay better attention.
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Maybe she was coming over to repay the money. Find out fact first. Just ask him in a very nice way why she borrowed money
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Don’t confront him until you are fully prepared to leave. Also have proof that you can use in court to prove that he was unfaithful.
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Pretend you’re going to work and see what’s going on.
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I’d call out, pretend to leave, and re-arrive back home. I’d give them at least half hour. Want to catch them in the act … Vs her just arriving haha
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Definitely catch them next time, maybe install a ring camera that kinda hidden or just take off one day from work and hang around the corner. The only way the truth will come out is if u catch them unfortunately since text have already been deleted
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There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation. He wouldn’t of let you use his phone if there was a chance a text would come through whilst you’re on it or if he thought you’d see something you shouldn’t… u less he’s real thick.
I’d keep quiet for a bit. I know it’s sneaky but check messages again soon… check recycle bin too cus you might find them all in there. Act once you know more xx
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Just ask, that simple
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Hidden camera… even if you showed up at 6 you wouldn’t get the answers you needed. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this.
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Install a motion ring doorbell after explaining to your husband that a package had been stolen from your front door or have a hidden camera in your bedroom living space
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Show up about 10 or 15 after 6! I believe you will know all you need to know then.
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Following for an update
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I can’t even imagine what you are going through but, I’m sure you’re heartbroken and angry right now. Take the time to calm down and make a plan level headed. Make sure you have all of your ducks in a row before you do anything. You need to have everything perfect for the court system if this turns out badly.
I’m praying for you 
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Contact the Cheaters show
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Show up @ 6! Goodluck 
I hope it is just a misunderstanding.
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Be there at 6:20. Be prepared to pack up your belongings and walk away
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Oh hell no. Nope.
See, the biggest red flag of it all is him hiding this from you (well, both really, but he owes you honesty). All of it is honestly bad though. Secrecy, paying, arrival when you’re not there, deleted messages, etc.
And it could have been avoided had he just spoken to you.
At this point I can’t think of one single scenario where this is innocent. 
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A. could be cheating
B. Maybe together they are planning a surprise for you and he’s giving her money to buy things and store at her house ?
Either way definitely investigate, get the facts before you blow up.
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I agree with others, act like you’re going to work and see what’s going on
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If there’s nothing to it why hasn’t he told you .
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Put up cameras and leave them up for a week to get solid evidence.
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