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QUESTION:
"So here's my dilemma! My husband and I have been married 4 years together for 6. I have a lot of makeup bc I'm hoping to become a makeup guru! I'm getting a lot better with my makeup. My husband has an issue however as he calls it war paint! He doesn't understand why I like to wear makeup. Now mind you I, for the most part, have flawless skin and I don't wear foundation or concealer except for special occasions where I need to hide some dark circles (mom life, not enough sleep sometimes). He thinks I wear it for attention and I don't no matter how many times I tell him I wear it for me he says I wear it to get attention from other people like his attention isn't enough! Any time I do my eyes he gets mad. It's not like it takes me hours to do and I plan ahead before we go anywhere I always do it while he's doing dishes or in the shower before we go somewhere so I have enough time.. I just don't know how to get it through his thick makeup-hating skull that it's FOR ME and not anyone else!!!"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"He’s very insecure…and controlling. It’s your face, do what you want."
"This has nothing to do with your makeup. Your husband is possessive and insecure and sadly that can be dangerous. Good luck"
"Because he buys into the whole patriarchy thing of women are either chaste virgins or whores. Antiquated beliefs."
"You’re not the problem, your makeup isn’t the problem. His insecurity is the problem."
"I’d ask him why you getting extra attention is bad. He sounds insecure but you don’t want to say that and make it worse. The more questions you ask the more likely someone finds fault in their own perception"
"You do you to feel good about yourself and/or put-together. There’s nothing wrong with this. He should think about learning to express himself better than this though and appreciate his beautiful wife instead of trying to insult you, change you, or your mind. Support things he could do to make himself feel good as well."
"If it makes you happy it should make him happy for you. Anything else when it comes to something harmless like this is just him trying to be in control of you. It’s okay for him to prefer you without makeup, but not okay for him to be negative towards for choosing to wear it."
"Makeup is an art, it changes with the seasons and it’s so fun to play around with different looks. I feel like he can have his own opinion about it but he should understand it’s something you like, it’s a form of expression, a hobby, etc"
"I’ve met men like this and it is insecurity."
"Men don’t understand this ever in my experience. Pretty much all of them tend to stick headstrong to the belief that women only try to look (and feel) good to get the attention of men. It’s very depressing dealing with someone who has this perspective. I’m sorry."
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