My husband hurt my feelings at a family wedding

That is YOUR child. He and his mother need to calm tf down and he needs to get off his mother’s tit. I would have told both of them off.

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Stand up for urself and ur kids, my mil was like this but I had to put her in her place and u also need to talk to ur partner about his actions and ask him if he was in ur shoes how he would feel

I would first of all never let the mother in law near your children again and tell her your sorry but you didnt read the fine print in the “brood mare” contract, and if you had you never would have signed it, then distance your children and you from the damage of disfavored child status, its extremely harmful psychologically, your husband obviously needs repairative therapy

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Next time someone asks you to breastfeed in private, say NO. Doesn’t mater what the circumstances are. Shame on them

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Start calling your baby a cure nick name to get back at mil

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I feel terrible for you. Very hurtful :broken_heart:

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Be careful with the MIL - see how you can change the name (creepy) and never go around these ppl again , oh and STOP :stop_sign: having more babies with him protect yourself

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Get therapy and learn to stand up for yourself and stop being a martyr and a doormat. Discuss what’s going to happen and what you want to have happen and who is going to watch what kids before anything.

First of all you weren’t forced to name your child after Mom’s miscarriage. “No” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to acquiesce. Plus, that’s just creepy. MIL should get therapy for thinking of your baby as hers. Tell her she had her chance to raise children, now it’s your turn.

Did MIL’s past miscarriage warp her treatment of her son (overprotective? Never let him grow up?) & skew their relationship into the ewww zone?

Is your husband a mama’s boy all the time or just in this instance? I would have put an older child in his arms/hands and yanked him to my table to help watch the kids. I wouldn’t have been passive about the pix; after one request I’d have jumped in with the kids and smiled.

At the reception I’d have just followed my husband and sat with him. Aren’t y’all assigned to tables? If you don’t know where to sit, ASK someone.

You should have asked where you could go feed the baby at the beginning, knowing he would get hungry. Then dump the other kids on your husband when you go to the nursing room. When MIL burst in you should have told her to leave you some privacy and you’ll deal with her later. She sounds like LOTS of drama.

You can grab hubs for the anniversary dance as easily as he can grab you. As for the tampon situation, couldn’t you have asked the venue if they had any or discreetly asked some other women there if they could help you out? Stop being so passive and be more assertive! Learn to ask or even demand what you want. You deserve respect at a MINIMUM. A good therapist will guide you as to how to do this.

Then after the weddings no & reception I’d have had a chat with hubs about his family. Ask him if he wants to be married to you or his mom. If he says you, then tell him to act like it and explain to him that it was wrong to abandon his family to hang with his mommy. I’d ask why you and the kids weren’t supposed to be in the picture and WTF is going on—why are they hostile/don’t like you? Ask him why you and the kids aren’t his priority and if he wants to stay married. Ask him why he doesn’t defend you and stand up for you. He should be proud of you and the children and want to show you off.

What did you like about him? Why did you marry him? How long did you know him (and his overbearing mom) before you got engaged? Did you feel you were supposed to marry him and have kids or is it what you really wanted? How old are you? Did you have overbearing parents? Are you an introvert? What were your dreams and ambitions growing up? Or were you always told what to do and how to think and that your job was to obey authority unquestioned?

Work with a therapist to find your self worth and figure out what happened during your childhood that led you to let people walk all over you. Once you value yourself more and learn to go after what YOU want, you will be able to blossom into the beautiful flower that you are but just can’t see now. Get your money’s worth out of your health care plan’s mental health services. If hubs dares to ridicule you for getting help (not that you have to tell him), say, “At least I’m getting help for MY problems.” Up to you whether or not you bring up his unhealthy relationship with his mother. Doesn’t she have her own husband? If not, maybe suggest she date someone her own age instead of always going after your husband. OK, maybe that’s too snarky.

Also check with your doctor to see if you are suffering from post-partum depression. If everything bothers you and makes you cry, you can get help so you don’t feel so fragile.

You will feel empowered when you can stand up for yourself, stand up to your husband and stand up to your mother in law—and his whole creepy family. Or maybe they feel you’re too needy or whiny and once you strengthen your backbone they might either back off or like you better.

Do you have current or former co workers and friends you can talk to? Develop your “village” of people you can count on in your community. Check with a women’s center to see what classes, counseling, social programs, advice or other helpful services they have that could help you grow as a person. Join mom’s groups or maybe a gym with child care to get you out doing stuff for YOU, meeting new people and developing new friends and interests. Take a class in anything that interests you. Negotiate time each week just for you to take the car & do what you want or need to do to renew yourself while hubs watches the kids. You can pump before you leave so there’s a bottle for the baby.

Stop having kids with what seems like this selfish jerk. Plan a life where you won’t have to depend on him for everything. Have your own job or get more schooling/training so you can get decent paid work after the kids start school. Have your own bank account with your own money. Get your own car. Be sure you are on the title to the house if you own vs. rent so half the ownership and equity is yours, though if you don’t think the marriage will last, let him be the sole owner and keep all the debt. If you’re renting, it’s ok to not be on the lease as then he alone is responsible for the rent. If you’re shaky on money knowledge, take financial literacy classes. There’s a lot available online too. Knowledge is power.

Try marriage counseling to see if that will help. If/when you’re ready to throw in the towel, get advice from the women’s center to exit the marriage safely, with custody of your kids and all the assets you have coming to you. Do you keep a record of family finances? How much does hubs make? What do you budget for rent/mortgage, groceries, formula and eating out, child expenses (diapers, clothing, toys, furniture, etc.), utilities, car maintenance and gas, home upkeep, savings, retirement, emergencies, college 529 plans, investments, vacations/travel, and a financial cushion to tide you over in case of job loss, etc. (3 months of expenses is recommended).

Your feelings are your feelings and you have a right to them. Don’t suffer in silence though. As Piglet said to Pooh, “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” The same is true of you, and the women on this forum are all rooting for you. You sound sweet and kind and I bet your children adore you.

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I would’ve left if I was being disrespected like that. Would have grabbed keys to the car you came in and left. He can Uber home. Then have the conversation at home. You are his wife and thoughs are his children and he chose to marry and have children with you that is his main priority! He needs to tell his mom off in a respectful way and If she has something to say y’all walk away from that toxic person!!!

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This was very sad to read… it just reminded me of how women do EVERYTHING while the men can run off and do whatever and be with whoever. You are amazing! Just remember that!

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Classic case of clueless husbanditis, but also probably a bit of the baby blues as well. You clearly have a dominating mother-in-law so you’ll have to learn to speak up for yourself even if it’s only to your husband, he can’t fix what you don’t tell him and he’s clearly already clueless.

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Your husband n mother in law are rude, very rude, well your husband is just a dick.

Your feelings are valid and important. Your MIL is an overbearing swine. Your husnand is a spineless worm.
Maybe that DJ is single :joy::joy:

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Oh hell no, I would have gotten the car keys and fuckin left. Took my kids out to eat and done something fun. And I would put that MIL in her damn place…

Your husband and his entire family is in the wrong. I am so sorry that happened, you & your children deserve so much more. But they won’t see it until you’re not there anymore

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I would’ve left so quick. And the husband sounds like a tool.

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Why are you still with him?

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That’s not a husband, that’s a sperm donor. My husband wouldn’t even dare pull anything like that because he damn well knows I will pack my stuff and go. And sorry but the bride is a b!tch for asking you to breastfeed elsewhere. Cut the whole family off and find a man that will treat you the way you deserve.

Sounds like you are emotionally abused by these people. Stand up for yourself. Yea people get mad but you can’t be a doormat

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Tears welled up in my eyes for you while reading this, I pray for your strength mama

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Forget & ignore the mother in law! She isn’t anylonger your nor yoyr husbands immediate family! Its you & his children! Secondly, get at your husband for being so inconsiderate of not only his baby for needing to be fed but for disrespecting the mother of his children! That isn’t a man nor a teue husband that just a boy still!

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Seems like the mother in laws the problem here. Talk to your husband and tell him how hurt he made you feel, but to be honest id leave

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Start standing up for yourself, you can’t expect others to. Tell your husband to make you and the children his priority otherwise you’ll walk and he can live with mummy dearest.

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He’s a total asshole!!! You have every right to feel upset. And he’s mother sounds like a real old goat! What a dumbass mama’s boy!! And that MIL must come to the realization that she’s GRANDMOTHER NOT MOTHER!!

Get that husband to fuck! He sounds vile and u sound like such a lovely laid back caring person…sounds to me like u could do soooooo much better than what your settling for :heart:
Do t settle for less than u deserve xx

I felt this in so many ways :pensive:

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Take control of your life and don’t let ANYONE walk over you. I would’ve left on the spot and not cared who was pissed. Don’t stay where you feel unwanted.

Do NOT have any more kids with your HUSBAND. He doesn’t deserve it !

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I’m so sorry you have such an inconsiderate husband!

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Why the hell weren’t you and your kids allowed in the family photo!?! You guys are family!!! I think it is time to leave him behind

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Wow! Just wow!!
Hun go get yourself a new life with your babies.
Yours sounds absolutely miserable…

Every single sentence there is something wrong with it. You should never be forced to give away your baby to someone else, your husband is very inconsiderate, I purposely did not go to a wedding because I did not feel comfortable separating myself from my fiancé to join the bridal events and they were asking way too much from me. You should never have to cover up to breast-feed unless that’s your decision and being surrounded by an intoxicated environment is stressful when you have kids and you’re busy taking care of them. The event is done and over with so it’s up to you whether or not you want to discuss the issues with him or not, but if you don’t have a calm conversation about it may build resentments. If he was like this for this event it makes me feel like he probably is like this a lot. You don’t deserve any of that.

Print this out and have your husband read it.

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Please start standing up for yourself. People will treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. Your mother-in-law knows that she can run over you and she will continue to do it. Put your foot down. Your husband sounds pretty selfish … hopefully he was just being negligent because he was wrapped up in all of the wedding hype. You have to start standing up for yourself or you’ll continue to get ran over.

You need to learn how to support yourself and your children because your husband is a piece of shit

Fuck, stay home next time.

It kind of sounds like you are irresponsible and aren’t good at planning ahead. What kind of woman doesn’t always have a few spare tampons in her purse or vehicle? And yea, I wouldn’t have wanted you nursing at my wedding either. You should have brought a receiving blanket for modesty or pumped in advance. Now you’re whining that your feelings are hurt. Well your husband is probably embarrassed that his family saw what an incompetent mother/woman he married. And his mother is mortified as well. Grow up.