They will have a lot of catching up to do!! Maybe people think you act weird to! You could always just you and your husband go ! Your kinda rude!
Are you serious? If I were your husband I’d want to no so I can take myself and my dad off out and you can just sit there … what a horrible selfish post from you … u don’t no how to feel about ur fil… well hun his an older version of ur husband so you would really wanna buckel up and get to no the man!
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Unless he is going to cause some type of scene I’d just go and if he is not going to say much then have fun and let him do his thing. Then after I’d talk to your husband about communicating better and asking you next time how you want to do things on your birthday. And how if you said something your husband wouldn’t go isn’t right and that’s issues you guys need to work on. Of course if it really bothers you then you can just have the both of them not go. I mean it sounds like there are issues with you guys and maybe a break from each other wouldn’t be the worst thing.
He may not even show up lol
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As a parent to 5 boys; this hurts my heart that you don’t want to include your father-in-law because you feel he’s awkward and out there. Sounds like it has more to do with being embarrassed of him in front of your family than anything else; but your reasonings are your own and it was insensitive for your husband to just invite him without asking how you felt about it. At the end of the day it’s your birthday and your rules. Have a chat with your husband and remind him that sometimes you just want to spend time with your family and there’s nothing wrong with that.
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I think this all boils down to communication. If his family displays embarrassing or unwanted behavior around you ask them to stop. Or ask hubby for his help if it makes you uncomfortable. Don’t say you don’t want FIL there, just say you don’t want the celebratory mood ruined when he does/says certain things.
…but he IS your family too. Love your husband more than you dislike his father.
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He shouldn’t have to ask. It’s HIS father, and your FIL. Get over it. Don’t like it, don’t talk to him. 
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So brother in law and 2 nephews are invited, your parents…but his can’t come?
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Hopefully not over 25 and still acting this way about birthdays
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I know it’s ur birthday but when u marry someone there family is ur family now.Goes with the marriage .
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Your FIL sounds like the type I’d go to dinner with 
Seriously though just tell him you cancelled, HOWEVER just KNOW regardless of if it’s your birthday or not … Your husband is going to be feeling some type of way about that and you’re going to most likely HIGH key offend the 
out him 
also if it’s between partner and parent/s or siblings or any other family member NO matter how outta line the in laws are or aren’t you’ll ALWAYS be the ‘bad guy’. It is a extremely RARE albeit refreshing occasion when a man will actually hold HIS own people accountable for BAD behavior or rudeness they’ll usually try to blame it all on your side … sorry 
And?? What’s the big deal? He’s “out there and makes awkward jokes?” so that means he can’t be invited to family functions? If it was just you, your husband, and daughter then that might be different but you’re inviting family and he’s family…
You married his man … meaning that is now your family ? If you can’t suck it up for an event he wants to celebrate WITH you. 
Not sure i see the.problem…most people want family around .both sides… Be thankful he wants to join you for your birthday as you sound like a piece of work.
Everyone is different and everyone needs to be accepted…try being a little more grateful.
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IF you already got a brother in law there I don’t understand the big deal if another in law comes? don’t seat near him and relax have a drink with your meal.
That’s probably why he stays away . Cause nobody wants him there or isn’t invited. His son invited him cause he wants his dad to feel included. The man sounds introverted to me & stays away from all the bs. How rude of you to not want to include him because he’s awkward.
If said FIL is inappropriate…. Tell him right then and there. Your kids are at the table. Tell him no jokes either, it’s your family dinner.
Grow up. It’s just a birthday and if your husband can’t invite his dad, then you’ve got more problems than just your birthday.
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Drama Queen, respect your husband and his family you married into! Perhaps the FIL is trying to make amends? Your husband may not have wanted to leave his family out of the celebration. As to the FIL being awkward in social settings maybe he doesn’t get out much. Or can feel a cold shoulder but still trys to be a part of the family. You wouldn’t want your husband to treat oddly or leave you family out?
Be happy people want to celebrate your birthday and be around you.
Idk. Here’s my 2 cents. I’m sure your parents have seen many “unique” individuals in their lifetime and I’d hope they’d never judge someone for how or who they are. I also wasn’t aware that the parents of each married couples need to be best friends on the outside. Also, big birthday get togethers as adults are so over rated imo. I’d just enjoy a simple birthday dinner with your husband and call it a day. But to host 2 family birthdays because you aren’t too fond of one individual is ridiculous and comes off as you being self centered. Age is just a number and doesn’t need to be such a huge thing every year.
Absolutely he is family he should .be included in with your side of the family th I s bit of separating days is ridiculous
Coming from the fact that my honeys dad is dead, if he was still alive I’d give anything for him to soak up more time. You sound ungrateful
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Stop being ridiculous and grow the hell up,he’s also part of the family…
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So what get over yourself
So everyone you named is family EXCEPT for your father-in-law? Okay hm… got it smh wow
Tell your husband to stay home with his dad if he’s going to act like a child when you tell him you don’t want his dad there. Or just suck it up as you said.
You are selfish- grow up!
This is YOUR dinner for YOUR birthday. Seems like having your weird ass father in law there will ruin your enjoyment of the event. If you don’t want him there, that’s your right and you don’t have to have him there. Your husband can see him another day. If he wants to be a little b!tch and miss his wife’s dinner over his daddy, then that sounds like a HIM problem.
Also, who’s paying? If somebody in your family is paying, tell your husband his father is not invited. He doesn’t get to invite people to a meal on your family’s dime foh with that
So you wanted just your family there, but your sister can bring her husband - yet your husband can’t bring his dad ? I’m sorry… But a parent is always priority in that chain. The Dad should be there way before your BIL. Maybe his Dad is lonely & because of that… He’s just awkward.
You may be sweet… But you may also be bitter. Try considering your husbands feelings too. If I ever told my husband he couldn’t invite his father somewhere - I hope he’d react the same as if he told me I couldn’t invite mine… We’d be done.
Our Dad’s passed 6mo apart so just be grateful. It’s one extra seat. Maybe he hasn’t tried speaking to your parents…… But have THEY tried speaking to him at all either ? Phones work both ways & it’s never just a one way street.
My own mother doesn’t celebrate anything with me… You’re lucky as shit that an in law wants to be apart of your special day.
Yeah YTA if everyone can come but him, and you want a whole separate thing for HIS family to celebrate YOU. Get over it. It’s a meal.
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That’s right suck it up and don’t make a big deal about the small things. You never know how that man is feeling and you would have a different tune if he died tomorrow and there was no chance to have him eat with you. Plus it’s your husband’s dad you may have mixed feelings but that’s someone who is really close to his heart way before your ass came along
I mean … I’m sure your husband doesn’t absolutely adore everyone in your family either, no family is perfect. My dad has mild schizophrenia and he’s pretty awkward in social situation, but it would absolutely crush me to know that the person I married didn’t want my dad around because he quirky or doesn’t always know what to say.
I guess it’s ultimately your birthday, but is one dinner in 4 years worth hurting people’s feelings?
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I think you married the wrong guy you don’t even sound excited that your husband is going smh 
you sound like you prefer your blood family and not his
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Honestly, you sound kind of like a prude and stuck up, and I mean that in the nicest of ways. So what if he make a joke you and your family don’t find funny, I am sure he finds things about you amd your family not entertaining as well. I’m glad your family is so prim and proper, and that you don’t have any ‘weirdos’, God forbid. Heck, weirdos are my people, as I am the mom who curses randomly and the inappropriate aunt.
Not sure why so many people are bashing you 
I feel like that is something your husband should have ran past you. It is understandable that this is your birthday and you should decide who is there. Be the betch and tell your husband he can uninvite your dad since you want to celebrate with your side of the family and if he wants to do dinner with his side too you can another day. Sorry you are dealing with this
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Just going to say it. You are a Titch. What you mean is you don’t want to make your stuffy a** family uncomfortable. Just say it his table manners don’t fit into your idea of etiquette.
Bil can come but not fil? You are all a family there’s no his and mine when you get married you are one
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Youre BIL is going thats not just ypur blood relatives theyre married into. Why would your FIL be talking to your parents on the reg outside of events such as birthdays. Does that mean if you go out to a restuarant for your husbands bday your parents arent invited? My dad was a huge flirt but i dont remember what else and embarrassing, yeah if he didnt die when i was 11. Id still want him there. Guess we all cant be adults and just get together. Now if he were abusive in any way which all it seems like is youre uncomforable by him which might mean because he doesnt get out much and has some weird thoughts or is it because hes actually coming on to you or what? If hes abusive or comes onto you absolutely i wouldnt want him there for any occassion and youve got to tell your husband. Otherwise its not worth the drama. Welcome him and his oddities. If hes a good man beneath the weird please dont miss out.
Unless you’re turning 10, you got issues. You married your husband and he comes with family. Its your birthday. Trust me. Its just a day. You can celebrate it whenever you want.
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You’re how old and still having birthday parties? Lol
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Well just so you know, he is also your family. Apparently you don’t care for your FIL. And that sucks for your husband. Cause you are saying his dad isn’t family
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From the way you’re acting I’m guessing you’re 5 yes old today?
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Sounds like petty bs to me. Imagine your husband saying this about your family!? Yikes!
What a great opportunity for your families to come together to celebrate YOU but you missed the memo due to being apparently a bratty spoiled princess
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WOW! A little selfish???
When you married your husband, his family became your family too, it doesn’t sound very nice to not invite his family along 
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It’s strange to me that you are saying “oh, and my husband will be there” as though he’s the last person you desire (aside from his dad) to be there. Complete with sarcastic sounding “yay”
It is a family dinner by outward appearances. Your husband and FIL are part of that family.
So strange to me to see people say that their parents haven’t met their IL’s. Like—WHAT? You never had birthday parties? Family Christmases? Weird AF. My parents and my IL’s knew each other pretty well (and we had been married 16 years when my mom passed; 15 when my FIL passed). When the kids had a birthday party, all the grandparents came…. They sorta meet that way. When we got married, both our parents were there. They already knew each other before that though.
Very strange. Are you and your husband ok? 
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Wow , get over yourself , way to be judgmental and pick some family over others, maybe your father in law don’t like you either.
Save money on wifi and cable by entertaining yourself for free with awkwardly behaved inlaws.
If yall have been doing seperate family functions already so its known and discussed that it saves a little headache that way and your husband went and threw a wrench in the problem. Id be pissed at husband and aggravated as hell. I dont have a relationship at all with my MIL and vice versa its mutual we dont like eachother and thats fine . He lost his father as a teen so N/A. So if my husband invited my MIL to my birthday function i already had set up i would be quite ill cause he knows my wishes on that and if he decided he didn’t want to go because i didn’t want her there . Then screw the both of them let them go off and do whatever they want and you go enjoy your day with what you have already planned
Get the fuck over yourself. You sound like a spoiled selfish child lol
I think you are kinda wrong here. Your husband is accepting of your family and going out with basically everyone. Why shouldn’t he be allowed his father To come along so he doesn’t feel out numbered. It’s not like he’s never meet them before. You are all a family including in-laws and it’s only one day. Birthday or not it sounds very childish to me personally.
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Enjoy the your BD and just be gracious.
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His family is your family and how great is it that you’re getting a birthday dinner
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It’s only one day include him be kind.
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When you marry its no longer my family and his family, it’s 1 big family
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Maybe the husband and his dad can go enjoy a dinner by themselves, away from your family, since you’re not excited about either joining in on “your” family celebration.
I would definitely tell them to pick a different restaurant before it was time to eat
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They can all go you can stay home. It’s your birthday you can cry if you wanna
YTA You married the man, that makes his family your family as well. It sounds like you just don’t like the guy. You’re having a family dinner but excluding family. Maybe your husband wants to spend a little time with his dad and make him feel included.
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Enjoy who knows it may come out okay. One way or finding out. All one big family your husband has love for his dad as you do for yours. Just me a family your husband will love you more.
Attitude of thinking just want my family to go is already wrong.
Your blessed so roll with it …
Its done - go along with it …
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My F-in-law just died in the spring. I was not a fan of him as a person, many times I just wanted to spend time with my husband and he invited his parents, I just rolled with it, because I love my husband(his dad had a few medical issues and we didn’t know how long he would live). He fell and was dead in just a few days, do I miss him? No, but my husband does. I will have the rest of my life to spend with my husband, his dad is gone forever.
It’s also your family. It’s your husband dad. For heaven sake’s grow up ! If you invited your family why can’t he invite his which is also your family. If I was your husband I wouldn’t even go. This is disturbing to divide family because of your ego
well when you marry someone you are taking their family as your own; good and bad. you say you just want it to be your family but his dad is your family? You’re an adult and as adults sometimes we have to do things that don’t make us 100% content and happy so the people we love can feel included and wanted. If your FIL is not gonna be high or drunk ruining it or isn’t a perv, psycho, or abuser is it really that deep? your reasonings to not wanting him there seem superficial and petty. be mature, let your daughter see her grandfather, && sit at the other end of the table from him. also, is it that deep that he hasn’t spoken to your parents in 4 years?? have they reached out to him and he ignores them or is it a mutual thing that they just don’t communicate?
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It’s the 5th year I don’t have my mom or adopted mom, or my best friend. I lost them 4 months apart like dominos. I wish I could go back to when they were alive and make them know how much I truly loved them. Maybe your husband is realizing how short this life really is. Maybe you should just allow him the right to invite his father. One day he won’t be here.
So he’s not family? Your family is more important?! Wooooow! Ick
That’s the key to a happy marriage communication with a bunch of strangers instead of your husband.
I feel as he’s your family ro when you got married to his son so honestly I’d let him come if he’s good to you he probably considers you as a daughter and family
You married his son now he your family too both family’s are joined all should be invited
You’re an ADULT. Be thankful someone wants to celebrate your birthday. Grow up and get over your damn self.
MY birthday, MY wishes.
i would have said something. but i also wouldn’t be married to somebody who would call me something he wouldn’t call his bïtch of a momma 
What about your Husband? I understand its YOUR birthday. But its All Your family, if you don’t accept life together as a team and share FAMILY experiences, then what do you really have? If your are an Adult act like one, have a discussion with your FIL , make him aware that certain discussions , jokes make you uncomfortable and ask if he could consider your feelings? It seems You are more than open to discussing your personal quandary on a public forum why not with him?
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Plan something different. Refuse to go and be the b!tch. But if my husband called me that he wouldn’t be my husband.
Yes you are wrong why keep families separated when when you married you became one big family and are no longer separate families
I think the bigger problem here is how your husband would probably react!!!
Call you a bitch?!??
Not go to your birthday dinner?!?!
Selfish ass…maybe your husband shouldn’t come either, since it’s all about you and your family.
Sorry but you’re overreacting
Suck it up. He’s your family also
Some of these comments are just sad. I bet half of y’all commenting just get over it, or whatever don’t even like y’all’s family or your husband’s so y’all have no room to talk. Not everyone is going to get along, family or Not. This woman is looking for advice not to be shamed or treated like s****
I’m sorry but guess what you’re married is no longer your family his family it’s one big family if that’s not what you wanted you should have never got married been there done that trust me the sooner you accept this one big family and not yours and his better off you’ll be