I wouldn’t go at all. No you’re not being selfish for wanting to be just you and your husband going on this trip . And also I would be really pissed off if I had to sit in the back seat . It’s your husband who is being selfish for not putting your needs first.
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I would just straight up tell the friend that I was really wanting to spend some time alone with my hubby. Maybe some other time we could all take a road trip somewhere. Sometimes you just got to put your foot down and make time for yourselves.
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I had a mutual friend guilt trip me and my ex boyfriend (started crying) into coming onto one of my week long camping trips where it was just supposed to be me and my ex. It was HORRIBLE! I wish I hadn’t brought her. The trip would of been fun if she hadn’t come. Honestly I normally don’t like ride sharing my car and I hate ridding in others. My advice is, do not bring her and promise to do something really fun when you get back.
It may cause you and your spouse to fight, depending on your relationship.
It’s a tough call. Normally I would advice you to talk directly to your friend and let him know how much you need this trip to be just you and hubby. If he’s a good friend he’ll understand and bow out. But if your husband needs him to go, then that’s a different story. If your friend is providing the vehicle and/or help with driving then it might not be prudent to ask him not to go. Your choice would then be to stay home and get some peace and quiet before your mother and sister in law arrive, or accompany your husband on the trip and maybe take turns with your friend sitting in the back.
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Why do you have to sit in the back? Your car, you ride up front. Guest is in the backseat. No discussion.
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If you had originally booked a getaway, for just you and your husband and he invited someone else, without consulting you, then yes you have a right to be annoyed. Would he have liked it, if you did that too him?
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I am so sorry this has happened to you. Your husband is a royal jerk. I would stay home and I would. Make it clear to the others when they ask, state the facts, that it was suppose to be a get away for just you two and it mushroomed into something else that you are not interested in.
Act happy and bid them a good journey. You enjoy the peace and quiet of all of their absences.
What a jerk.
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My hunch is this lack of consideration for you, your partnership, your feelings is not a first, and only the tip of the iceberg.
Address the real, and painful truth about your marriage.
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If she’s admitting to being in the back seat the whole time then she obviously doesn’t plan on helping to drive, she doesn’t mention any physical reason she can’t help but now she’s mad that someone else is going to help and she can’t just enjoy the ride, it’s selfish to put that on her husband.
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Maybe you should put your foot down harder. I’m not sure what wording you used but if I was in your shoes I literally just wouldn’t go. I’ve done that before.
I also have authority issues from having an ex cop for a father 
sooo men telling me what to do NEVER goes well.
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I have read responses. Much good advice. For me, personally - due to the pandemic, I do not wish to be closed up in a vehicle with anyone except my husband for any length of time. Maybe the extra riders can drive their own vehicle.
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Why exactly is this friend going for what is your husband’s reason for him coming? I’d be honest with your husband and tell him you were looking forward to just the two of you going. I’d probably not go if things are going to be this uncomfortable for you. Good luck
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First off, your husband should have talked this over with you first…secondly, you should be sitting in the front seat with your husband, PERIOD…thirdly, tell your husband you will not go if the friend goes and use the excuse that the car is too small to be comfortable for everybody for the long drive…put the ball in his park-if he wants you to go, he needs to be the one to get it settled with the friend, if you decide to stay home, enjoy the peace and quiet.
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Why are you afraid to be honest with your husband??? I think there are bigger issues than the friend
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I had a similar situation one year my other half and I were traveling to Georgia’s for a couple days with our daughter to see his brother and he invited one of his brothers brother (whom realistically is a small dose person too) and trapped me in the back of the car with the baby it was a LONG trip there and back but they are brothers he was helping us stay awake on the road so I couldnt really say no in the end it wasnt too bad I wish it was more of just us but we have had plenty of other trips since then and will have tons more in the future and almost every trip we bring my mom now so she can babysit the kids a couple of night for us to be alone this is the first year we are all seriously considering having just us as a family no extra go on a vacation and we’ve even talked about him and our youngest doing things and my oldest and I doing separate things eventually I know it can be stressful but it can still be fun dont get over worked up about it
So am I reading this right; the friend is providing the car because you couldn’t get a rental car??
If so, then the friend has every right to go. I feel like your husband is a problem solver, and figured out a way to be able to go.
I guess that’s the price you have to pay for using his car. 
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Just stand up to him and don’t go-period. If you can’t do that then you’ve got bigger problems. Was married to a master manipulator- happily divorced! Never knew life could be so good!
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So many questions. Why does he need to go and pick up his mom and sister from another state? Why can’t they drive or fly themselves? What went sideways at the rental place? Are they using the friend’s car, or is the friend paying for the rental? If the friend is helping with the trip, he kinda has the right to go. (If your friend is not helping with the rental or loaning his car, your husband has no right to ask him without your permission) But if you are going you be squished in the back between two larger women for 12 hours, you have the right to stay home. I know from experience that the scrawniest person always gets stuck in the middle. Flights are fairly cheap right now. The cheapest option might be to fly the mom and sister to your state. I’ve been really low on money before, without having a vacation in several years, so I can imagine how excited you must have been at the thought of a vacation (yes, I’m making assumptions here, but I’m thinking if you couldn’t get a rental, money might be tight), and now everything good you were expecting to happen, is not going to happen the way you expected it to happen. I also have friends that I care about a lot, that I would just as soon not go on road trips with them. It is what it is, 
. It’s your choice to go or stay, and if your husband can’t understand, you have much bigger problems than this road trip.
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Oh hell no I’d be pissed as hell! And why would you have to be in the back seat with the friend riding shotgun? A woman sits beside her husband always. My bf, who is not a sweet of romantic guy, refused to let me sit in the backseat for even a trip to the store when his best friend he’s known since he was in diapers was visiting. You have every right to be upset.
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No you are 100% not being selfish. He should of been on your side with it, and honestly maybe should of cancelled it and just got a hotel room for the weekend so get away somewhere else. But to me he definitely should of been on your side and said we should do something else.
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What do you mean that things went sideways with the rental car and your friend is helping out. Is he offering to drive the two of you down in his smaller car? Those details might put a different slant on things.
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Text the friend and tell him or her how you feel… maybe they’ll respect your feelings. If my best friend texted me and told me the situation I’d have no problem staying behind
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Wait he invited someone with out speaking to you about it first and when you expressed your issues and said you didn’t want to go anymore his response was to shut you down and tell you you were going… Huge red flags. HUGE!
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If my husband ever told me I WAS going, regardless of the why, I can guarantee I would go, just not with him. We recognized 35 years ago when we said 'I do" that neither of us own the other and respecting the other’s decisions is part of a healthy relationship even when we disagree with the decision.
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For one YOU have to be in the back seat…? And the Friend is a guy? This may seem sexist to some but I was always raised a woman sits in the front seat and any man shouldn’t allow the woman to sit in the back… so by him not putting his foot down on that shows his respect level for you.
I would just stay home let him call you a baby he can have a road trip with his Best friend and you can have a stay cation and tell the neighborhood you went with them! No one will bother you and you don’t need to deal with them
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What went sideways at the rent a car place?? Sounds like he had to ask the friend to help with something? And why did you have to get a smaller car? If the friend needs to go. I would just ride down at midnight so you can sleep most of the way and have your snacks and blanket etc so you can be comfy. Or why doesn’t the mom and sister drive up by themselves to you guys?
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I wanna know why you’d have to sit in the back?!
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I would just tell my husband that I only want the two of us to go. Your feelings are valid and very logical to not be smooshed into a car with so many people. Even if space wasn’t an issue, you want it to be just the two of you so end of.
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Is this friend male or female? Your husband is wrong for asking them to go along without talking to you first.
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Some women let their man make decisions like this without them, and then they are put in very uncomfortable situations just like this one. You must train your man like a dog and make sure they understand that most-if not all situations need to be spoken about before final decisions are made. If that would have happened then things would have gone your way for this trip and probably many other things in your life with him.
At this point be honest and have him break plans with the other 3 people, be a big brat until you get your way because this trip seems super special and important for you.
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I don’t think we are getting the whole story on this and if my husband talked to me like that he better be prepared for me to flip out on him but he doesn’t talk to me that way all I can say respect and great communication is key been together 20 yrs plus I wish you the best and stick up for yourself please
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Then he can go ALONE with that friend and take your OWN vacation SOLO 
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If your husband let you sit behind while a “friend” sit next to him in a car, it’s a red flag. Sorry hun x I’ve been there and still suffocating. I hope you tell him that you want to spend time “alone” with him and it’d be great to just zoom the friend for the help on the way. Good luck and keep us posted 
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Seems like either he is clueless, has no guts or doesn’t want to go on vaca with just you. I have no idea which, but It should be pretty easy to shut it down in a way that doesn’t hurt friend’s feelings, “Oh, no, bud, this is a couple’s vacation”. Perhaps hubby wants a “buddy” there, which needs a conversation. Honestly, most married people I know would prefer to “add a friend” (as long as it’s theirs). Time for an honest conversation.
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If the husband cant make acceptable plans for traveling on this vacation then they all should just stay home. Anyone who cannot provide transportation has no business borrowing, etc from anyone! OK well that just what I think, probably only one who thinks like this.
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What she said! Or I’d just stay home and let them go. Whether the husband liked it or not. He should have asked you BEFORE asking the other person it’s called courtesy
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Maybe hubby has a surprise up,his sleeve. I would be annoyed as well, especially if I was stuck in the back seat.
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Let them go on a vacation then you alone on a different country
NO need to be upset that is the reason of vacation is to be happy, relaxing not the other way! I will not go with toxic environment I can’t pretend
Personally I wouldn’t go. I’d let them go and stay home and have my own good time. You don’t need him to have a good time if he can’t respect your feelings.
What’s the point in bringing this control freak!!! Ahh no way! Your trip with hubby and that’s it. Period! If they want to unfriend you, good because you don’t need that type of friend who wants to take over your life. If hubby doesn’t agree, than he can take that control freak with him becoz when he comes back, there should be serious talk…if its me…am gonnneee lol
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I would say it’s more about your relationship. If you are strong then you will survive this and have a calm conversation about it and maybe suck it up this time but make him promise that once you arrive at your destination it’s just the two of you. Most times the journey is what’s important but look at the bigger picture. This is just a small bump in your life’s journey together. Bring earbuds and download some good podcasts, get a neck pillow and tune them all out. On the other hand you can put your foot down and either refuse to go or just call the whole trip off. But you will have to accept the consequences. I’m sure he has a reason for putting you through this. Ask him.
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I know a lot of car rentals require a certain amount of insurance for you to have. Maybe they didn’t have enough car insurance so they had to ask the friend for his insurance. If so, the friends name is on the lease and is required to be in the car.
Stay home and get some alone time for yourself. Tell your husband he needs to ask you before inviting other people!
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Everyone saying how she should stay if friend goes didn’t read it very well. I think the friend has to rent the car because they can’t for some reason. Would you rent a car for someone and not go? I wouldn’t never do thay
T ell hubby anyone else go you are staying home. And do it if he takes anyone. Go on vac by your self.
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I would just not go. You told your husband and he doesn’t seem to care. I would stay home and have some me time.
I’d love to let them go so I can spend me time before everyone piles in on y’all,STAY home,let them have their day maybe your husband will learn his lesson and understand next time.
There is a time to be considerate of others, but this isn’t it.
Too bad, so sad. I wouldn’t go with the two of them.
If the car belongs to this friend, you don’t really have amy place saying they can’t go. I’m not letting any of my friends drive my car on a road trip anywhere. It seems a little late to dwell on the fact that it isn’t just you and your hubby going, so you may as well make the best of it🤷♀️
I wouldn’t go. If I can only handle someone in small doses I’m not going to be trapped in a car with them. It’ll just make for a really long trip.
I don’t understand why your friend even wants to go. No way I’m 3rd wheeling it for that long
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Commanding you to go? Hell naw. Him putting his wife in the back seat so a friend can sit up front? No. How about you drive and he can sit in the back seat and entertain his friend.
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You need to sit in the front with hubby. If he gets annoying then just say huh? And pretend you can’t hear:rofl:
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No I would have told him no if it not just us going then I’m staying home you should have put your foot down said no way to the others going
Why don’t your MIL and SIL just rent the car and drive to you? Then you don’t have to deal with it…
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Why do you have to sit in the back. Tell him you are uncomfortable in back and that’s too many people in the car. Have him explain to your friend that it was planned just you and your hubby go and the people being picked up are not small people and you don’t want it to be like sardines in a can. If he won’t agree tell him you feel more comfortable at home and for him and your friend to have a good time
I think it’s your husband who is selfish and behaving poorly. You were honest, shared your feelings and reasons and he responds with “you’re coming with me”!?!? Don’t pack, for yourself or him. Don’t prepare. Stand your ground and let him go. If nothing else, fake sick.
Why do you have to sue in the back.? Is it the friend vehicle if not stand your ground make them sti in the back
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Stick to your guns and don’t go if he insists the friend goes,your time,not selfish at all.
Why is he bringing his mom and sister? You keep talking about wanting to be alone and complaining about this mystery person only but you won’t be alone with your mother in law and sister in law with you. Ditch them all. That’s more stress than being home and not an ideal vacation. Sounds miserable.
Stand your ground. He should have consulted you.
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Just tell him how you feel. No point in hiding these things they’ll just fester and become an issue later on. He’s not going to know if you don’t tell him.
You have every right to be upset. Let your husband go on this trip alone. You can enjoy a few days without him. The fact that this friend is a “control freak” is enough reason to not go on this trip
You lost me at you are in the back seat! What??? Seems like there is alot of things wrong here and one major thing is your husband has ZERO respect for you and your marriage.
You husband disregarded you by changing all the dynamics of the trip with absolutely no discussion with you. You are well within your rights to be heard and your feelings considered.
I would be as upset as you. I would put my foot down and tell your husband if it can’t be just the two of you that you’re staying home.
Don’t go. Stay home and tell hubby have fun. All them people going I don’t blame you for not going.
Sounds like your husband controls you,maybe that is why they get along,there both control freaks,say NO,stay at home,don’t get in backseat unless your beneath that person,stand UP for you.No one can tell you what to do unless you allow it,I hate to see a weak woman letting a man tell her what to do.honey your second best to him if he don’t put you first.
Maybe you and your husband sit in back together and let them drive.
Nope get out now do not go it will be hell you’ll hate it. Been on to many suffer thru controlling trips for my liking not anymore.
I would not be the one sitting in the backseat…if the other person won’t sit back there then he won’t be going
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Just don’t go! It’s that simple. Ur husband obviously is only thinking about what he wants & isn’t even trying to reconsider after hearing ur thoughts on the matter. Don’t let him tell u what u will b going to do.
Maybe this friend also needs a get away or can help with the driving!
I would be straight to the point . Unless he needs another driver
Why are you stuck in the back of the car, make that person sit in the back.
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It’s not selfish and your husband should of asked you first
If its a good friend, tell your friend how you feel. If they a friend. They will understand and still help you, without having to go…
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Don’t go !! Simple, be strong enough to go somewhere else on your own! Might be a very good lesson for him !!
I think your hubby was wrong to invite someone without your ok. That being said, couples need time alone without others around. He is wrong on this. But many men just don’t get it.
Whose idea was it to “bring” this friend? Your husband or the friend? Also, why do you have to be stuck in the back seat? Why can’t said friend or even the hubby sit in the back? Put your foot down - tell hubby to think about the position this puts you in and tell the friend that the car is going to be extremely cramped with five adults and tell the friend you would love to have them along for a different trip.
Just don’t go or tell your husband how u feel about the other person going and how cramped it will be in the car
I’m confused as to why u have to sit in the back of your husband is driving???
It’s a hard one but I would be honest with them both about how you feel . You need alone time for your marriage too it’s important
Sounds like help with money/helping get the rental maybe. If that’s the case I get it. If hes helping you why not let him tag along. Or just stay home. Or say no and pay for your own rental
It it can’t be just u and him don’t go u have a right to alone time.
Wait, tell me why YOU’D be the one sitting in the back? Did I miss something?? You’re his wife and unless it’s his or your grandparent or parent, you should be sitting next to your husband.
No, you are right, I would be upset too! For one- you should be in the front not the back and for two- that’s just bull crap if you ask me!
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Why is the friend even coming? And why doesn’t she sit in the back if she wants to tag along??
Just not go. He doesn’t own you. You’re in charge of you.
My question is why the hell are you not saying im in the front seat period… If you have to have him there y not just say im sitting in the front
Be honest with your friend and your husband. And also your husband can not make you go. You have every right to be upset
Either stay home or invest in some good headphones so you can escape. You should also insist on a bigger car for the trip home.
You shouldn’t ever be in the back seat unless his mom is
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I would tell him you will go if you 2 are the only people in the car.
tell your husband that if this friend must go then you won’t; spend that time at home alone but not lonely doing your thing
Why are you the one in the back?? Tf …
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Id honestly just stay home if it was me, and I have before.
Not enough of the story to fully comment. Is it your car or fully your rental? Are you using the friend’s car? Is the friend helping with driving or fixing or lifting heavy stuff?
Either they go, or you do. But not both.
So how long he been creeping with the friend?
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