So Monday, my husband and I were supposed to be leaving for Alabama. We have to go pick up his mom and his sister. I’ve been looking forward to getting away from everything where we live. It’s been a ton of drama, and I was just so happy to escape everyone for a few days. Well, today, things kind of went a little sideways with the rental car and whatnot, and now my husband is talking about bringing a friend with us. Also, a much smaller car than what we were originally looking at. This friend is one of my best friends but is a major control freak and always has to be in charge. It was just supposed to be and my husband, and now I’m extremely upset. This means I’m stuck in the back of the car for 12 hours there and then stuck in the back of the car with two other people who are not small women for 12 hours back. I wanted everything from home left behind so I could just enjoy things. But now I don’t even want to go. I told my husband that if we asked this person for any sort of advice or help that he’d want to come along. I love this person but I was really looking forward to it just being my husband and me the whole way down. I told my husband my thoughts and opinions and how I was now really upset and didn’t want to go, and all he said was, "you’re coming with me " am I wrong to be upset? I mean I’m grateful that this person is offering to help. But I can only handle this person in small doses. And trapped in a car with this person doesn’t sound appealing to me. I feel like I’m being selfish and acting like a baby about it but idk…
I would be upset too.
You’re not being a baby or selfish
Nope you’re not selfish tell him they are not going and you don’t want them too
You’re not being selfish at all. Tell him either only you two go or the trip is canceled
You have every right to want that time. Put your foot down Mama.
Get sick , and stay home !!
Either put your foot down with him or tell him the other people need to get their own car so you two can be together in your own car.
Honestly, if it was me, I’d tell him the friend can’t go or if he wants that person, I’d stay home.
Stay home and have a little vacation from all of them. Your husband should respect your wishes, if you really don’t want to share your vacation with everyone…don’t.
You’re making yourself uncomfortable to please others. Please don’t.
You need to tell him your feelings n just say it’s be nice for you 2 to drive by yourself n enjoy the time peacefully - no way do you need to be in backseat no dang way it’s your husband n your place is not in no dammm backseat NO !!!
Tell your friend that you really wanted this to be some alone time with hubby and could they bow out? if not stay home and tell hubby he can choose the company he prefers to be with, its not a choice of both but an either or…
Considering all the circumstances, I would be pissed. And then finding out that the car is smaller than what was expected, he needs to tell her that there’s no room for anyone else. If he doesn’t, if I were you, I would.
I don’t see why your the one sitting in the back…
Heck no thats so rude.
If you have to go tell him you’ll drive and he can sit in the back. Bet that changes his tune a little.
Tell him its you and him that’s it
Oh hell no… You’re not being selfish or rude or any other negative word And there’s no way you should be sitting in the back…no no NO!!
I’d opt to stay home then. He’s got a friend going, seems like he’s got it under control.
Plus you may just need the peace without everyone at home.
I wouldn’t go either don’t let anyone tell you that you have to do anything!!
Either tell him you want it to be just you 2 or you stay home.
Ummmm… are these made up?! I’m continuously floored by what is posted on this site…
No offense, but if you are having a vacation with your husband, you should be on the same page with regards to expectations of said vacation… I mean is that not obvious?!?
Ok if this is YOUR friend, I’m assuming she’s female. SO you’d be dumb to allow them to go alone while you stay home. I suggest you tell your friend you had other plans and you’d like her to stay home. If this is truly your best friend. This person would understand AND support you. I don’t want to be negative but I’m getting bad vibes here. Call it gut instinct. Good luck…
My husband knows that i will always have that seat beside him on the driver side wether there is other people around. That seat is for the Queen only. He can never force me to mingle with people i dont like. It is either it will just the two of us or we both wont be going.
Where does your husband get to demand you go? You ring your friend and tell them no thanks and make it clear he can’t come. If your husband gots upset. Leave him at home and go.
Honestly , stand up for yourself. You have the right to a holiday without being worn out before you even leave…
Call shotgun and fight for the front seat
Why are you in the back seat?
Why are you delegated to the back seat? You need a vacation on your own, honey.
That’s too much, tell them next time post covid .
Don’t go. I mean he can’t make you go.
Stay tf home then. You don’t want to go and you don’t want to be around fat people. They are obviously repulsive to you or you wouldn’t have even mentioned their size.
Tell him you planned on being alone doing some freaky, sexy stuff on the way there…he’ll kick everybody to the curb, ijs
Stomach bug can’t travel - he should have asked you First before he invited someone else to go
If they are forward enough to invite themselves, you can be the same to tell him he can’t come. Just say youse wanted some quality time together x
Your friend is invited and she’s a female ?
I would say something is going on with them and she doesn’t want him going on a vacation with you
Stay home less drama
If this person is really your friend you tell them. I want to go alone with my husband because we haven’t had alone time. Plus use covid as an excuse. Stick up for yourself. You say this like you’re a pushover. What man would make his wife sit in the back or force her to something she doesn’t want to do?
Go somewhere else while they go on that trip. Get your friends and go somewhere. Just because you’re not going with him doesn’t mean you can’t go somewhere. If he needs the friends help then he needs the friends help.
So she is your best friend? And you’re stuck in the back seat? If she’s your best friend I think she would understand that you don’t want her to come along…wtf
Uh… What makes him think he has the right to disregard your feelings and force you to go?
Stand your ground and tell your husband if he goes, you don’t. Enjoy time alone at home(idk if you have kids) to yourself. I understand you want to go and spend time with your husband, I don’t understand why he wants to be a douche about it. But if he goes, then you stay home. Simple as that. 🤷🤷 This is supposed to be a trip for y’all, not y’all plus 1. If he can’t understand and take note on your feelings then tell him to kiss his ass and go on the trip and Dela with everyone himself, and you can stay home and enjoy the time alone. Pamper yourself, do what you want
Your feelings are valid honey. You dont have to go if you dont want to. My husband never forces anything and he damn well wouldnt put me in the back. Stand your ground and tell him you arent going with that person. Simple as that
Who says you have to sit in the back seat. Sit up front!!!
Give him an option…you or the friend go. He never asked you if it is ok for this friend to go along.
He should have talked with you before inviting anyone else
Tell him that no offense to your friend but either its just the two of you or the two of them. He can’t force you to go.
If the friend goes I wouldn’t go, it’s obvious there’s not enough room for both of y’all so make him choose
Put them in the back seat
He’s should have discussed any changes first, I’d have a serious talk With the friend and just say y’all wanted some alone time. A good friend should understand, if they don’t they are not much of a friend.
I’d find other aramgments. I’m grown I don’t have to do shit I don’t want to!
Whats he going to do? Drag you out to the car? Tell him to piss off.
Tell your husband it’s you and me , no one else. I’m NOT sitting in back this is my trip too!! Tell your friend to stay home he should have realized it’s your trip stay home bub!!
Stay home. My husband left for three weeks. I was supposed to go on the airplane but backed out because of pandemic. I had a great time at home! Everyone needs some time alone especially with all the togetherness from this pandemic!! Watched what I wanted, ate what I wanted and did what I wanted!
Why are you sitting in the back seat and if so I hope it’s not another female in the front seat:flushed:
I wouldn’t go if I had to sit in the back of a small car for 12 hours and I get car sick in the back anyhow but back to you— I would just say you do not want to be uncomfortable and you were looking forward to alone time with him. If he still takes the friend-enjoy some alone time at home
Just tell your husband if he wants u with him, it best just be the 2 of you or u won’t go. Tell them you don’t want to waste your time or money on a trip you have been looking forward to with just him now that it’s been screwed up.
No no no. Just us or bring your buddy. Just remember who’s always beside you.
Sounds like you should book a special vacation in the near future! This doesn’t sound like it was meant to be a vacation, but rather a trip with a task at hand (pickup family). I feel you though, I need a break out of town!
He invited your friend? First off uh no not ok second he didn’t even ask you. Ya I would be pissed especially if I just needed “me time” with my husband.
Why are you riding in the back seat?
For him to not even discuss the friend coming before taking it upon himself to invite them was rude and disrespectful to you in my opinion. Talk to him tell him you were hoping for it to be a one on one trip to spend some alone time together and if he’s not willing to change the plan, don’t go.
I think you have every right to be upset and bothered by this…
My advice is lay out how you feel and why… amd bluntly state…and STAND BY YOUR WORDS… its 1 or 2… simple of… 1. YOU claim and hold front seat. There AND back . NO exceptions…OR 2. I don’t go…
As hard as it is… all you can do… if verbal lay out… and play it out. Playing it out AFTER LAYING OUT ULTIMATUM. Is the ONLY way to come to/reach next step of truly figuring out miscommunication/not care
Make the friend sit in the back of your husband is so insistent on bringing them. But I would tell the friend straight up there won’t be room cause you don’t want to be squished in the back seat on the way back. Just say no.
Eh. Book a hotel room and just sleep, watch TV and eat a large pizza.
Road trips are cool but seems like drama is just following you.
Pick your battles, guys really can just be that out of the loop and not think like that.
So don’t beg him to understand and don’t get mad when he doesn’t view it like you.
Just say NO or regroup with a different plan that makes sense.
I’m confused why you’d be stuck in the backseat.
1 I wouldn’t be sitting in the back
2 if that was his response when u told him how u felt, I would just stay home & relax by myself!!! Face mask, bubble bath, wine & a good book!!!
How did it come down to the friend going … is the friend paying for the rental car or is it in his name? Something came about for him 2 b brought into the pic
I would dig my heels in and not go. Thanks for the help but they don’t need me. Maybe next time. We are what we allow. No hard feelings, just not for me.
Is your friend offering their vehicle and driving?
I’m a little confused. Is it your best girlfriend who is coming along or his best guy friend?
Why would you ride in back. No way never happen
It would be either the friend or me, no questions asked
I wouldn’t have been going for a 12 hour car ride for anyone before the plans changed
What the heck is wromg with those women? Can they not fly or drive themselves ?
Tell him to take all of them but you will be staying home
I would stay home and enjoy a quiet staycation. Relax draw a bubble bath, light some candles and pour yourself a glass or two of wine. Catch up on a good book or tv shows. Let them deal with each other while you sit back drama free at home.
Tell him to uninvite the person or none of y’all goin. That simple
I wouldn’t go. I’d tell him if he’s here when it’s time to leave town then I’m not leaving with you. And find a place to go to when they leave town. If you don’t stand up for yourself he won’t take you serious and he’ll walk over you again. He made the decision to bring his buddy with without asking you so he can explain it to him!
I’d be staying home!
Why are you in the back of the car to begin with unless it’s his mom in the front passenger seat ? Personally I’d be telling your husband if said friend is invited I wouldn’t be going. I think you have every reason got to be upset. Hope you manage to get this resolved.
Umm definitely wouldn’t be going if he invites the friend after you telling him how you feel🤷♀️ you aren’t selfish he is if you are supposed to do what he orders you to.
Why are you riding in the back??
How and why is the friend helping? This needs to be taken into consideration.
Fake sick with diarrhea and stay at home by yourself!
Stay home. What’s he gonna say?
So tell your husband no then
It can only be as fun as you make it and if you can’t make it fun then don’t go
Hell No if the friend goes & you have to be in the backseat I definitely would NOT be going put your foot down or you will be miserable
I would not go and if you decide to sit up front. There would be no back seat for me the friend can sit in the back.
Sounds like friend might have invited himself. Sorry but if he dont have the balls to say something maybe u should. "Love ya man but itll just b me n him today" I leaned a long time ago to stand up for myself. Cant please everyone all the time. Ull drive urself crazy trying. Sometimes ppl gonna get butt hurt but it’s on them not u. U had every right to speak up.
Your hubby needs to be more understanding and know your needs need to be met before anyone else’s
Nope stay home you do you
Do what your heart tells you to do and if its go tell your friend he can ride in the back.
The friend should ride at the back if you decide to go. But I’ll just be upfront and tell the friend myself since it’s your best friend.
If you go take books tablet ipod
For me no, call the trip off. Tell him your not going is just a hell time for you.
Stay home and enjoy some “you” time. I wouldn’t want to be cramped in a car either
Tell your husband you want to spend time with him
If you are picking up his mom and sister why is he even trying to bring an extra person?
Tell him if he brings him you get a 3 sum see how quickly he changes his mind
Your not wrong your husband is. Mention to your friend how you feel that you just want it to be the 2 of you. If he is anykind of friend he will quietly back down