This is kind of long, but I will make it as short as possible. I love my husband very much, but he is easily controlled by his family. His family hates me and has always disapproved of me. When I had my son a year ago, they tried to force their opinions onto me, and when I rejected them, they would tell my husband which he would force me to do. For example, I had a c section and was on strong pain meds that made me tired, dizzy, and nauseous. They would bring me a giant container of chicken soup and expected me to eat that for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next three days. I didnāt eat much, to begin with since I was really nauseous, and even more so after they tried making me eat only that. They got mad and called me ungrateful. That was just one example, but there are many more. Since they could see that I wasnāt going to do everything they wanted, they would convince my husband to make me. My husband, on the other hand, is a strong believer that a womenās job is in the house and with children. He expected me to have a super clean house, meals cooked, and for me to pay 100% attention to the baby(as in he wasnāt supposed to be doing my job like feeding him or changing his diapers ever). He started getting more abusive towards me, verbally and physically. I told his family, but they didnāt even care. I stayed home with my son and wanted to wait until he was a year old and stopped breastfeeding so I can go back to work. When he turned 11 months, I guess they didnāt want to wait anymore for me to work bc they told my husband that I was lazy and did nothing at home all day, so I might as well go to work and be put to good use. We argued until I finally said ok and I went and got a job. 2 days later, my son got sick and had a fever. I gave him medicine and took care of him, but after three days of him having a fever, they told my son to take him to the hospital, so we took him that Sunday. They said he had no infections, or viruses, or nothing, just a fever. The next on Monday, they made me take him to see his dr who said the same thing, that it was just a fever and it would go away after a week. That was still not good enough for them, and they made me take him to another hospital an hour away the next morning, and they said the same thing as well. In the meantime, Iām calling out of my brand new job I got, but thankfully they were understanding. In total, I worked five days before my husband told me I had to quit and stay at home taking care of the baby instead. That was my breaking point and got mad bc his family decided that for me without asking me what I wanted to do. He spends all his time at his familyās house, and when I ask to go see my family, he says no. every time his sister saw me, she would call me big and fat, and when I told my husband to speak to her about it before I did, he defended her saying she was just playing, and I need to learn how to take a joke. They treat me like an idiot like for example, they wanted him to drink chamomile tea and they brought it over to make it, and I asked her for the tea so I can make it and my husband said no she would make it(apparently I couldnāt be trusted to boil some water). Well, long story short, I got fed up and decided not to be controlled by them and started doing things my way, which resulted in my husband and me arguing all the time and eventually left me. My husband grabbed his stuff and went to his sisterās house and left me alone with the baby. I have no money since I didnāt work, the only car we have belongs to him. He didnāt talk to me for three days until I finally caved and called him and told him the baby finished his medicine, and he still has a fever. He dropped off the car the next morning, so I can take him to the Drs, but they told me heās perfectly healthy, just has a fever. From that day forward, heās been calling me asking me when am I going to move out, and I need to figure what Iām going to do bc heās not going to take care of me and Iām nothing to him, and Iām lazy and just want someone to take care of me and that why his family hates and disrespects me and a lot of hurtful stuff. He says that he will only give me money for the baby as long as I let him see him and let him have him for the weekend. What can I do? I donāt want to be with him anymore, and since he abandoned us and can be very violent and abusive. I would rather he keep his money as long as he leaves the baby and me alone. I donāt want the baby being raised by his toxic family, either. I have been stressed out of my mind trying to figure where I am gonna go, how I am going to get a job without a car, and my baby isnāt even one yet, and heās very attached to me. Since his father left, he hasnāt slept on his own. He will only sleep on top me while I hold him. I donāt know if it will be good for my son if I let him see his father or if I keep him away. any advice will help, thank you
I canāt even read all that. Leave. Take your child and ruuuuun!
Do you have proof of his abuse? Go file emergency child support and custody.
Are there any domestic abuse shelters in your area they could probably help you get you and your child out
Maybe call you own family for help
I keep seeing āthey made meā. Youāre a mother now, nobody can make you do anything. Tell them to go f*ck themselves and give your hubs a wakeup call too.
Call a friend. Call your family. Find somewhere safe to go and get out.
Honestly sounds like the hole family is a bunch of A holes. You are the mother you make the decisions and since he is violent then i would seek a lawyer theres many lawyers out there that work at free or low cost for people in your situation. Ian glad to hear you got your self and baby out of a controlling and bad relationship your doing the right thing just keep your head up and stay strong.
Screw his money! That babyās happiness is more important. They all sound very toxic n keeping them all out of the picture would be so much for you n the baby
Also tell his family to fuck off they are just more un wanted drama
Tell them to go f*ck themselves. Including your husband. Go stay with family. If you cannot, a shelter for domestic abuse? I know it is hard now but in the long run it will be so much better.
I would get proof of everything! And I mean everything from him and his family. No calls only text so you can print them. Go to your family if they will help you and get a lawyer. Take him to court for child support. I wouldnāt let him have the baby until there is a court order in place.
Go to a domestic violence shelter, they should be able to help you get emergency custody and child support, atleast point you in the right direction. Also call your family and tell them whatās going on. Keep all texts and call logs from him or his family just in case
Honey they would of all been throat punched if that was me id be giving them a dose of there own medicine you are your own person Id be calling my family come pick my kid an I up file for divorce an child support
Do you have family close by? If you do (or donāt) please ask your family or a close friend to help you get on your feet and leave your husband. Now is the time to be strong for you and your boy! Let him keep the money. Iād be scared of his family trying to keep your son away from you. Iām so sorry about your situation.
Domestic violence shelter. Right now. They will have the legal help you desperately need. Then either shelter or your own family.
He did you a favor by leaving. Call social services or a womans shelter, they can help. What about your family?
Find resources near you that help women in a domestic violence situation.
U said heās very abusive? I donāt believe that, u say there and typed all this petty stuff about tea, not once did u mention an abusive interaction. Donāt leave, have him have a court put u out. Ur his wife and thatās his baby. U cannot keep his child from him, and that will be for the court to decide. Heās his father, he has rights as well as u do to the child. Y punish ur child and deny him a father? The child did nothing, u picked him as a father. Not the child. U need to grow up. U keep saying ur telling ur husband things to tell his family. U tell them urself. Stand up for urself for God sakes. Ur husband tells, u to quit ur job and u did. Now ur stuck with no place to live and no money. Stop letting people steer u in the wrong direction. If he was so abusive, u would have been planning ur escape from day 1. Take control of ur life
Go to the courthouse, file for an emergency injunction. Write EVERYTHING in it as well as these exact words āYOU FEAR FOR YOURS AND YOUR CHILDS LIFEā in the injunction you ask for the house, the car and child support and most importantly sole custody until at least your divorce due to the abuse and violence and lack of him caring for your child!!
Then, as soon as itās granted and it will be done soonā¦ go to your legal office and file for divorce.
If you have the support of your family screw him. Donāt ask for support just leave. His family and him will make you take the baby to them if he is giving money. If they start to bother you for visits then tell them you will go through the courts first. Any text messages that you have save them. Start recording phone calls. I cant stress this enough. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!. Call your family get your things and your babyās things packed and donāt look back.
Tell them including your husband to take a hike pack ALL your and your sonās belongings and move to where YOUR family isā¦ you shouldnāt be treated like that and if your son is being raised around that then he is going to think thatās how a woman is suppose to be treatedā¦ You and your son deserve betterā¦
I stopped reading when I saw āabusiveā. Leave. His family shouldnāt be your concern at this point, and neither should he. Thereās no solution except to take your child, find a safe place, and get a divorce
Get out. Thereās tons of red flags!
You need just to leave him and that whole entire family behind
Get a restraining order. File for divorce and child support. A supervised visitation from the father since he is abusive. I would not allow any contact from his family to my son. They are toxic for this child. File the divorce and include abandonment charges since he left you and abuse. Also he did not leave money for the kid
First step would be to immediately sign up for state assistance. Donāt know what state this is but in MI, you can get WIC, Food stamps and Medicaid within 30 days of signing up. Start filling out job applications ASAP. Talk to your family and see who is willing to take you in until you can get on your feet. Welcome to the single mom club. Itās rough. Iām 30 now. And I look back, I had my son at 19 was single mom by 21. I still donāt know how I managed it. But I waitressed, and had my own little trailer trailer. I kept good people in my life. That weāre willing to help. But you have to speak up and not be scared or anxious about asking people for help. The state also assists in child care costs. There is plenty of help out there, you just have to be motivated and willing to do the footwork to get it. Also staying very organized and always plan everything out.
Go to a shelter for women and children. Get some government assistance. Wic, TANF, Foodstamps etc! You are being abused by being forced to do things by him and his family. Leave him and let him be honey. He will regret it. File for divorce and child support! You have power baby use it!
You take him to court and if he left, tell them he abandoned you both and stranded you with no vehicle and a sick child.
People will treat you how you let them & theyāre not āmakingā you do anything. Theyāre pushing their opinions and youāre going along with everything they say. Get a job, your own place and away from that manchild. Public transportation exists
Please listen to someone advice now days you donāt know what a.person will do to you .
You will get single parent paymentsā¦ Go organise thatā¦ If youāre married and on the paperwork for the house you are entitled to stay in the houseā¦ Heās already leftā¦ Lodge a claim with child supportā¦ Whether he wants to or not heāll have to pay or theyāll just take itā¦ Tell him every thing is to be discussed via email and that it will all be forwarded to your solicitorā¦ Whether you have one or not doesnāt matterā¦ Anything he says will then be evidenceā¦ Donāt answer callsā¦ Or textsā¦ Emails onlyā¦ Put your foot down and donāt let them stand over you
Omg omg omg ā¦, lady you just got the golden ticket to a free restart in your lifeā¦who t f cares about that whole groupā¦ pack all of your stuff walk straight to any shelter ā¦ not sure what country you live in ā¦ ask if you can leave some personal belongings with a neighbour or friend people will help youā¦ go to any church, mosque, synagogue to get help they willlllllllā¦ the shelter will hook you up shelter in a few weeks or months be patientā¦ get social assistanceā¦ go and donāt look back ā¦ the baby is sick because it feels that something is wrong he is having a fever due to stressā¦ babies sense when mom is upset and will react accordinglyā¦ calm your self and donāt cry around them try to be strong as you can ā¦ your super momā¦ you can do it ā¦ from one domestic violence survivor to another !!!
People will treat you how you let themā¦ you let them walk all over and and you let your husband boss you around. No one can make you do anything, your rolling over and taking it. Stand up, grow up and put your foot down. Tell your husband to step the hell up and help you with your guys child. It takes two to make and two to take care of it. That baby has two parents.
You donāt have to leave! You have a baby! There is no judge that is going to put you and your baby out with no where to go!
It will only get worse. There are organizations that will help you get on your feet. He will support your son because it is his job and the law.
And youāre with him why?? Good lordā¦ This soooooo isnt going to get better!!
If you can rely on your family call them. Tell them whatās going on. Or a friend. Youāve surely got someone you an rely on to help you. Once out go back to work. Dont let him see the baby because at some point heāll decide not to give him back.
Get out. Keep your baby and yourself away from him if heās violent and abusive. Find a lawyer too.
I dont know where you are, but if you are in the USA, go to a DV shelter asap. They will give you resources. If he contacts you, especially with threats, report it to the police and get a restraining order. Also, you need to leave and go to a place where he doesnt know about. Dont tell anyone. Not family or friends. Nobody!
This girl is dumb and shoulda been done before she even had this kid with this freak and this freaks family.
OMG girl if you have supportive family get out now! Go to court and get Child support started.
Go to the local state aid office And tell them youāre leaving abusive relationship and sign you up on everything thatās Available. They Can even help you with information on the child support and such.
If you have anyone that has seen the abuse get written statements, have them notarized.
Any admittance or proof on text also have printed out.
If he has been abusive fule a restraining order. If the family has made any threatening texts take that to and put restraining orders against them to.
When you do go to court tell them that you are afraid for the safety of your children because he is violent. Request anger management, parenting classes, Supervised visitation until requirements are met.
Go to a woman;s help shelter.
I had to MAKE myself read until the end. Leave. Leave. Leave. Gross. Gross. Gross. You are your own person so grow up and donāt let ANYONE tell you what to do. Youāre putting up with it so ā¦change it!
Keep your baby away from him if he can hurt you an adult he can reason with how is he going to deal with your baby when they are old enough to argue back I wouldnāt risk it go to your family
Do you rent or own?? If he owns the house you and your child stay in that house. He moved out and abandoned you and his child. You keep the house. Change the locks, get help from the government food stamps, wic, since you have no income file your divorce free by filling out an indegency form at most clerk of courts. All filing fees, process server fees, restraining orders and other court costs will be waived.
Why would you marry and have a child with a man who believes a womanās place is in the home? His family controls him, and he controls you. Thank your lucky stars he has left. You do NOT have to leave that house. You need to get yourself in front of a judge ASAP. They will establish support for you and the child. They will also likely establish temporary visitation, which cannot be helped. It is time for you to step up and put your child #1. You can be strong and you will be strong. You are blessed to have a new chance at life so move forward with strength and purpose.
Ahhh I can relate ā¦ ima soak up the advice as well 
Pack up your stuff call your family, and tell them what has happened and ask them for help and support. Leave that toxic life behind and never look back! File for divorce and never contact your husband again. Give your baby a loving and healthy life without the drama and cruel lifestyle he will bring into it. Nothing but pain and disappointment for your baby if the father stays trust me!!
Good for u for leaving. See if you can get into a shelter for women to get on your feet. Iād not bother with child support if heāll leave u alone without it.
They are all, including your husband, going to treat you the way you let them. They are being pushy and to avoid arguments you are doing what they want. Leave or stand up to all of them and tell them to keep their opinion to theirselves. If my in laws told me to take MY child to a hospital an hour away after 1 hospital and the childs dr told me the child was fine I would laugh at them.
As far as your husband. He is a giant man child and you need to get away from that.
FILE FOR CHILD SUPPORT
and
FILE FOR FULL CUSTODY
Child support and visitation have nothing to do with each other
Lots of shelters that will help if u have family see if your family will help
There is alway three sides to a story, yours,his, and the truthā¦ So call your family and Go with your kid!!! And if your family lives in another state, county do it now b4 you go to court so that he has to come there or meet half way. Cause if you do it now you must stay where you are with him!!! Run, call Ur family!!!
I donāt agree with keeping the father away UNLESS he is abusive in any way, which is what you stated that he is. Even if it was just towards you, alot of times that will move towards the child. So yes! Stay away till he truelly changes. That means anger management classes, family therapy, and truelly changing himself for the best for his child for more then just a month or two. It will take alot of work on his part before he should be in the childs life. I would even recomend supervised visits for several months after he completes the classes, and continue family therapy for atleast 2 years.
Kinda longā¦ ?? 
Be careful they sound like assholes and go to extreme and steal ur child from u when u allow visits
Happened to meā¦smh
With all that same. Family dynamics u had.
He. Never defeated me
Freakin loser
.so I left him and had to file in court to get my son back
File 1st!
Get the restraint order
In August of this yr I moved into my own place with my kids again! We were at a domestic violence shelter for a year! They gave us a safe place to stay for free and helped get me affordable housing n there are alot of programs that can help u get away n stay away! The 1 I was at was a confidential locked facility for our safety.
Well first off, I think you will be better off with your husband gone. You need to go to court and he will be required to pay child support. I would suggest you find a job and get a voucher for Day care. The state will help pay for day care and you will pay a small percentage. You donāt need him or his ugly family.
Unless you have abuse documented it will not help you in court . You gotta file the abuse and get it on paper . I would tell him and his family to go jump off a cliff . You and baby move on . If you have good family call them and go see them ask them to help you .
Sounds like you did only stay to have someone take care of you. If hes all these things and you soo worried about your child being nere him than you should have gotten a job and gotten things taken care of a long time ago. You made your bed now fix it. Make goals and make em happen. As for letting him see your child if you try to say no the court will step in so letās not play the power trip
See if you can file a restraining order, file for child support and get full custody immediately. There are a lot of red flags here and you need to find a way out as soon as possible. Find a family member or friend that may let you stay with them.
Yep Iād be out. Save ALL messages text and Facebook. Download a call recorder because if you go to court all that will help if hes calling and messaging abusive things.
Leave him leave the family go to court get child maintenance only agree to supervised visits as family and him so toxic I wish you well xx
- Take him to court for child support. Itās not up to him to decide when he financially supports his son.
- File for full custody and supervised visitation based on him being abusive.
You have family. Go to them. Do NOT tell him where you are. You say hes abusive. Run!!! Before youre a statistic.
File for divorce, child support and full custody. Never tell them where you are. Do not hand your baby over until a judge orders you too
You need to get away and get away quick. Call your family. Stay with them and TAKE YOUR KID WITH YOU. And you definitely need to keep the baby away from a āfamilyā like that
You canāt legally keep him away from his childš¤·š»āāļø
Go to a shelter I had to with 3 kids I know have a stable house and job after 3 years of doing it alone I know have a supportive fiance. It will be hard but leave and dont look back
You wanted to go see your family. Now seems like a good time. They may not want you there long term, but someone you know got a couch and the baby can sleep in a freaking box if necessary. What are you waiting for?
You need to leave with your baby right now
You need to get away from these people yesterday!
Go get a court order for child support it has nothing to do with visitation.
Yikes. Go stay with friends or family if you can while you take steps to raise your child on your own.
Supervised visits. They are so toxic its pathetic
Reach out to your parents and family. Iām sure one of them will let you stay while you get your feet under you. Donāt look back, he has given you an out take it and run.
Get to a lawyer ASAP and get away from him. If you wanted a job, go and get that job! Donāt let a man stop you from working and never let anyone tell you what you have to do with your body and your kid. Screw that family they arenāt worth the headache. Go take care of yourself and your kiddo and good luck. Also, make it mandatory that his family have either no visits or supervised visits, they sound way out to lunch.
Honestly him leaving you is a blessing by the sounds of it, you deserve better, get into Centrelink get on parenting payments go see dhs and get on the list for housing and get in contact with a DV organisation to get you a case worker to help get priority in housing and they can help point you towards any other services you may need
If he is abusive as you say both mentally and physically and fear for your safety as well as the child you can file for a restraining order. Depending on where you live you can file for cash assistance and child support to help you get back on your feet. I just went through something similar before having my son almost five months ago. I was abandoned a week before my due date with my four yr old daughter with no where to go, I have no family around where I live, and had to file for cash assistance especially because I couldnāt get a job so quickly especially being so close to my due date. They automatically have you file child support in the process. To be blunt in these situations you need to become that royal bitch and put your foot down. If he canāt fix his abusive ways then he wonāt be allowed around your child and his family certainly wonāt either. If he wants visitation then you can go for strict monitored visitations so he canāt be alone with the child without you or a state worker due to his abusive nature and the fact that heās never cared for the child on his own.
You are being abused call the domestic violence hotline for advice theyāll help you get away and get settled
Call your family and get to court. Look for a abused women center, they will help you get away and restart. Donāt let that fool or his family control you any more. And donāt let that babe go with out a court order. Prayers for you
Take your kid and go to your familyās homeā¦call a good divorce attorney and start a new life.
Go to a womenās shelter. It sucks but theyll help you get back on your feet.
Or take the baby and go to your families home
Iām going to need the other 2 sides of this story before I can give out any helpful advice.
How many cars do you have? Just the one? If not, you are legally obligated to one. Also, get a divorce and run, with supervised visits only. If heās threatening you over the phone or ever was hostile, keep documents and records. There are always women shelters, section 8, but right now is a time to get your family into it. Iām sure someone will welcome you with open arms. Look, I know itās hard, but you will figure it out and thank God you can get out before he seriously hurts you. You will heal and be so much happy and healthier once you recover
Where is your family? Do you have any close friends? Can you call them and stay with your parents or siblings while you get a job and get back on your feet?
Sorry folks wrong post
For now you need your family sister thatās where you can only get loyalty and support
Heās not being controlled by his family. You are. By his family AND by him. You need to leave ASAP! He is abusive and you admitted when you wrote it ~ you literally typed it all out. Everyone falls down, hits the bottom and sometimes itās rock bottom so we are bruised, beat up, bloody, shamed and scared fucking shitless because when we hit that rick bottom we used our body, mind, heart and soul to protect our child or children from the blow. It matter not how far we fall, nor where we land ~ what matters is if we STAND BACK UP brush of those knees and try again! Then not only do we prove to ourselves that we are strong, capable and ready to take on the world one slow bump in the road at a time; our children will also learn one of lifeās most valuable lessonsā¦ The strength of our character our reaction to shitty circumstances and how we solve the problems, starting with finding a rope to toss above us, catch a boulder and slowly, and steady we shimmy up said rope off the rock bottom. As you shimmy upward? The rope will be flimsy and it may snap ~ a few times, but you just get back up, reenforce the rope braids and start again.
The questions you need to answer RIGHT NOW ARE: Who is acting as the boulder to catch the rope? Your family? Mom/Dad/Brother/Sister? Their job isnāt to hold the rope itās to encourage you as you go upward, and maybe lend a hand every once in a while but only YOU can climb it of this shit pile your husband has left you inā¦ As you climb every hand over hand represents one area of life that you master to set yourself on the right path. First, get strong enough to walk away if not for you right now, start doing it for the baby and soon it will be for you bothā¦ Find a job (easier said then done) you are married right? Well go to the court and file for divorce, or legal separation ProSe (no lawyer) tell the clerk your sons father is keeping all the money, keeps the car all the time and you are left with nothing. Suddenly you will
Likely get a fee waiver and the court clerk will have you fill out paperwork to have served (again no job been left by dickhead = fee waiver) fill our the forms; specifically the one in which the court orders him to provide your basic living needs ~ he needs to pay for the home your in with your child, food bills etc alimony until your strong on your own. He will have to pay for half of day care and you. Can work full timeā¦
Did you grab your rope? Start climbing and bury him in court paperworkā¦ need any other Advice message me!!! Pardon errors itās 2am and Iām sick as hell dizzy and tired sighs!!! But for real let me know if you need to talk!!!
Please divorce this monster and his sick family. Get a lawyer and have them get you spousal and child support. Make him PAY.
Go to a safe houseā¦get help
If you have a family, call them and have them come and get you and the baby. Then start proceedings against him for the physical abuse. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR AND YOUR BABYāS SAFETY. Get out now.
Take him to court for child support and you could get alimony since you didnāt work while yhall were together. File for full custody and since h abandoned the house you could possibly get it too
Get a restraining order on him for the abuse and call the cops and make a report
Do NOT send your son for visitation until there is a court order in place, otherwise he may not return your son and the police will not be able to do anything about it. I would also highly suggest child support and try to get supervised visits your sonās safety. I wish you the best.
Leave stay with family or friend or shelter but just get out and leave they are a toxic no good for you and baby!
This family sounds like one of those cold families dangerous and when they feed you they slightly poison it to keep you calm all the way through the day get out girl and get out fast just start walking do whatever you have to do go to the shelters first one you say
Keep him away!
Honestly, I donāt know why you had a kid with him in the first place.
Even before the baby, there were so many red flags!
Just keep the baby away from him and his toxic family! 
Oh no get that baby and RUN you cant win for fucking losing with them