My husband is almost 40 and need a little help in the bedroom that would involve seeing a doctor. He doesn’t want to cause his words it makes him less of a man. How do I get him to see that it doesn’t and it’s to help us connect better in the bedroom. We have been together for 15 yrs and I don’t want to be that couple that doesn’t have sex after that long. I want him and idc if he needs help. Please help me get him to understand he is still a man! Please post without my name. Thank you.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband is embarrassed to reach out to his doctor
It may be a start to bigger issues he needs to go
There’s a Hims website I believe that’s completely discreet no drs appt needed and it can be called into a pharmacy or mailed to your house
Look into that
Also, there’s a ton of men on the medication
Drs and pharmacy staff don’t even bat an eye when the various drugs are mentioned and prescribed there’s so many reasons men need it and none of them make them less of a man.
You can communicate with a doctor online and get what you need. There is a whole company that does just ed. Less embarrassing. Easier.
Doctors are happy when men ask. They slap him on the back and say “we can fix that!”
Things like blood pressure and diabetes can effect erection, so he really needs to get checked out that it’s not a bigger issue.
If he’s uncomfortable going to his regular practitioner there are specific hormone replacement specialist available. They’ll do a full blood work panel, and then fill in any missing gaps. But bottom line, his body his choice and he has to want change and help.
He needs to go and have a health check. Something else is going on we all need to listen to our bodies.
My hubby had to start Testosterone therapy and then Cialis. It took him a minute to process but he’s all good now. He’s 55 and on blood pressure and cholesterol meds. Praying he will realize it’s part of getting older, it’s maintenance!
This isn’t your issue to resolve. If he isn’t willing to meet your standards find someone who does.
He needs to see a doctor,
My husband was having issues
Long story short
He had stage 4 colon cancer !!
It effects everything down there !!
Get that Shit Checked !!
Ask him if he thinks it would make you less of a woman if you needed to see a doctor about similar issues or to need estrogen therapy or something. Make him see it from a different point of view that isn’t directly related to him but that he would find insane to think of something (that he cares about) for what it’s not. Then turn it around on him. If he had an infection, would he let it fester or get medication for it? If he had a serious disease would he go to a doctor or let it kill him? Tell him it’s no different than either of those, it’s just embarrassing simply because it’s a sex thing.
Ask him if he would expect you to go if something was stopping you from doing the deed? No doubt he would be making the appointment for you & rushing you out the door
Just keep talking to him, nice calm voice each time. Ensure him of your trust and support. Find materials for him to read, look up doctors or specialists on the low so when he does decide to get the help, youre already ahead of the game You cant force him, but just continue to talk to him and offer that support and your love…
If its a pill hes in need of and embarrassed about, then you don’t necessarily NEED a doctor. O used to work an adult toy store and MANY men who didn’t want to address this issue with the general practitioner buy them at the adult toy stores. They are all natural, a bit pricey but do work.
He needs too! There could very easily be an understanding problem that could be fixed. Also pumps work great for this issue. So maybe you can get him one to easy his mind.
Not being able to satisfy your wife when you can fix the problem makes you less of a man… that’s all I’d say.
Tell him its common for men in their late 30s 40s to start having low T issues n the drs have heard it all
He doesn’t need to see a doctor, it comes with age. Buy a pill from mejiers
Blue chew it’s like a viagra you can order on line let’s me beat up my ol lady’s chamber of secrets for a hot 45 mins
There are sites you can do discreetly. Also, no shame in trying to keep your marriage alive. It happens to a lot more men than the ones who speak out, doctors are there to help you so as long as he has a good doctor, talk to them.
What state are you in? He can do a telehealth visit. And this is very common. Is he a diabetic? Well cause this fast. DM me I’ll help you help him. I’m a medical assistant.
Apparently I have an unpopular opinion here, but, the adult does not want to go to a doctor. That is their choice. “No” does not mean “convince me” They do not see it as a big enough issue to see a doctor at this time. Respect their answer.
He can try other things before seeing a doctor.
Nutrition is HUGE! Increase whole foods, plants, and lean meats.
Stop caffeine, if consume caffeine
Drop process foods
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Some of these comments are disgusting. Imagine a man invalidating your feelings the way some of you suggest she should.
I’m sure it’s hard for any person, man or woman, to reach this point in life. Maybe show him statistics so he knows he’s really not alone?
Guys. And. Their. Macho. Bullshit ,. And. When. their Really… Sick Or. Injured.? Big. Babies. Tell. Him. To. Suck. Up. Or quite
You can’t force him to. You can show him vdos of men even younger having problems and getting fixed. But it’s up to him.
Hims is online and you don’t have to video with the doctor, you just message and they mail a prescription.
All you can do is ask him if he will see them and just mention that some times it can be as simple as checking hormones. But be gentle, if you push too hard he’ll just feel even more embarrassed. I’d imagine at some point he will go when it bothers him too much. I’m sure if you have a look online though there’s probably pointers on things you could do to help with intimacy in the mean time
Wow men can be big babies! At his age there is probably a medical reason for what’s going on. Drs are there to help. My husband put off seeing a Dr until it was too late.
Could be a medical issue. He should see a Dr to make sure it is not medical
Low testosterone can affect more than his ability to get it up! One of my clients’ husband was having a bunch of different medical issues which they couldn’t find a cause for. After finding out his testosterone was really low, he started receiving shots. He was shocked at the issues that were resolved by this simple hormone replacement.
All ypu can do is be patient and reassure him that you love him and will never look at him any less. Try looking into changing diet, vitamins and maybe a testosterone vitamin booster like nugenix(also helps with energy as well). Don’t be pushy as it will make things worse thinking that is all you want and he can’t, it can be more mental and depressing than medically
Sildenafil is a blood pressure med that works like the blue pill, and if he is taking certain medications, it can cause him to not function as well as he would like.
There are FOOTBALL players doing commercials for this very thing! Big name retired NFL players! Point these out to him.
if he’s willing. just get some viagra. if he’s made a choice that he doesn’t want to see a doctor or use viagra then you should respect that. if you can’t handle not having sex and he isn’t bothered by not having it, then it’s time to move on.
I think if he sees his Dr it may help, buying stuff on line or with out a Dr doing a full check up first isnt always the best thing
Make the appointment but tell him you have a dr appointment and you need him to go with you and then when you get there you can do all the talking lol he will thank you later
Buy him a box of Extenze. They help a lot. And, tbh, unless you’re prepared to pay about $40/pill, the dr can’t help. Also get him some testosterone booster
He may have something pressing on his prostate which can impact erections. Or cardiovascular disease impairing blood flow. He should be going for health reasons.
Maybe a televisit would be easier for him. There are many drs who would be willing to do it that way
Tell him lotta men, even drs have to get treated too sometimes. They see it all the time dont be embarrassed. Is a common problem
https://frontlinealternative.com/. Have him get with this clinic he probably needs a blood test to check his hormone levels and honestly this is the best clinic around and will get him feeling like he is in his 20’s again not just in the bed room but all of how he feels
You can tell him anything. This is a mental block he has and he has to be big enough to get past it.
Tell him that is caused from blood flow blockage and can be easily corrected, and blockages are likely to happen elsewhere and could cause heart attack or stroke!!!
There are websites where he can have a telehealth visit . He may be more comfortable with it since it’s not in person.
My so was embarrassed to tell me. He had already gone and told me afterwards. Since he received his meds, back to 4-5x a week and he’s 51
To your husband…
You are not less of a man, your doctor has seen it all and than some. Never feel shame in reaching out when help is needed. To make you feel better I pee when I cough, sneeze and laugh too hard, I’m 36 it’s embarrassing but we are human and we all go through something we shy away from but doesn’t make us less of a man or woman
this us more common than most men think, especially around 40 yrs old. Tell him, this
This does not make him any less of a man. It’s very common for men to experience some form of ED. I would explain to him if he catches it early it can be reversed but the longer he waits, the longer it will take to fix.
Talk to him about just a regular check up with some labs first. And his mental health needs care too. If everything good there then he can bring it up to his doctor.
It could be as simple as low testosterone and there are multiple ways doctors can offer to help bring those levels up.
Unfortunately there isn’t a easy or nice way to get him to make the decision. He either does or doesn’t.
He could try speaking to a mental health professional first via telehealth, he could use his phone or a laptop and be at home in privacy. Perhaps they would be able to suggest these things differently vs it coming from his wife. Sometimes that can make a difference.
Not getting help is what makes him less of a man. He can’t do anything about it unless he sees a dr. It’s not going to magically go away.
U can’t force him to get help. You can either except it or leave. Men don’t care how it affects you.
Doesn’t make him any less of a man at all. Age does things to people. It’s human nature. I hope you can help him get help. It does take a toll on a relationship.
I dated a guy that started having this issue. He had diabetes and high blood pressure, which both can affect them in different ways. Some meds you take can affect your sex life too. It can come from stress and many other things. But seeing a doctor is his best bet.
Definitely not less than a man, though I can understand (without actually understanding) how he may feel like this. Men are just as sensitive as women but in our world and certain generations its not “normal “ for them to talk about their feelings. Which is a shame. Because they have every right to.
Is it possible to help boost his ego a bit?(compliments etc… ) Without being “weird” about it of course…
If he told you he trusts and feels comfortable with you enough to share the personal things maybe you could offer to go with him to the doctor? Help give him peace of mind that you are indeed supporting him?
These things happen… at all ages. It doesn’t effect his manliness at all whatsoever. But it will only change if he is comfortable enough going to see the dr. Start small go for a “physical “ most times these questions are asked and that may be an easier way to approach it if he doesn’t directly have to bring it up ?
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My husband not wanting me made me feel like less of a woman.
Could be diabetes, weight issue or even stress.
Why do women think they have to have sex or they can’t live with a man what about th side effects of taking thi medication love is more important to me than sex shame on youll
Telemedicine… look up online about it and I promise they have options for men that don’t want to talk about it in person, it’s so common I’m sure there are many options
Ask him if it’s more manly to not have sex at all
Have him start taking ashwagandha it’s a supplement you get at like natural grocers! It will help reduce his anxiety and give him the boost he wants without s seeing the Dr… My husband was taking it just for anxiety and it made him a horn dog he said it gave him dirty dreams to and always woke up in the morning ready to go!
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Check your local tobacco shop, they carry some pretty good pills!
Horny goat weed (i know it sounds funny) improves male sexual function and you can get it gas stations
He needs to let that toxic masculinity shit go. He is having a medical issue. He can either go see the doctor and be able to fuck his wife or he can be a baby man and have no sex ever again. The choice is his, and it’s absolutely ridiculous you have to convince a grown ass man to see a doctor for a medical problem. THAT makes him “less of a man” even though that phrase is also toxic masculinity. Is he a man? Yes? There’s no way for him to be less of a man unless he is not a man.
He would probably be more comfortable with telehealth, it’s done through video call.
Its probably low testosterone. Happens to almost all men at some age. Plenty of things today they can do. I wish you the best of luck.
My husband went through this a few years ago…he’s 21 years older than I am (I’m 35 he’s 56 ,been together since I was 21 and he was 42) and it was simply because he was low on testosterone…his doctor gave him a testosterone injection and let me tell you I couldn’t keep him off of me after that lol I was literally throwing in the towel he was so charged up after that
Perhaps reach out to a male doctor for some tips on how to talk to him. It could be a sign of heart problems and you don’t want to risk it in case it’s the sign of a bigger problem. Not going could be life or death. He needs to see that avoidance isn’t the answer.
There are supplements (yohimbe) and foods that can naturally help in that department. Maybe change your eating habits to include these foods regularly and get him to take the supplements.
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Look into natural remedies for low testosterone, it might help and won’t need doctors
My husband kept problem a secret and when he finally told me 9 months later it was stage 4 prostate cancer…passed in 2019 4 yrs later. Important he goes to Dr…
According to all of the spam mail you can buy little blue pills online without a doctor.
Give him time to really process that you told him you’re unsatisfied in the bedroom and gently nudge him or you can just make him an appointment and take him there yourself lol.
My husband needs help in that area too and refuses to go to the doctor. Here I am 40 and frustrated.
It’s normal for men not to reach out to their gps
You literally have to drag him kicking and screaming
Try leaving some pamphlets
Where he can see them
My husband has gone through this. Low testosterone us the culprit. It is normal. When he went to talk to the dr about the situation and he knew what my husband was going to say before he said it. He said he has about 10 to 15 cases a day
He needs someone to awake his desire probably that’s not u…
My husband went through this in his 40s. He went to a specialist that works with guys and their hormones. Tested my hubby in-depth. And was able to help us! No problem now! He will feel better about himself if he goes. Make sure it is a male doctor cuz it made a difference with my hubby.
Mine was suposeably having a problem and found out he was cheating. Good luck
There is natural remedies for that problem google it. The only reason I know is because my dad takes it so he feels like a man in the morning. I told my dad tmi