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"So I went on my husbands tiktok and noticed he is following multiple pages of woman’s TikTok’s where they are showing their breast, butt or where they dancing in a proactive way with little clothes on, I also found a link to his Reddit where he had a bunch of p*orn on his search history. I feel hurt but don’t know if it’s normal for men and should I be ok with it as a wife"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I don’t see anything wrong with either unless it’s actually impacting your relationship. There’s gotta be more to the story if you felt the need to go through his phone. I can only imagine how I’d be judged if anyone saw some of my TikTok follows"
"It’s common but that doesnt make it right. If something makes you uncomfortable the opinión of other people does not matter. Its better you go have a talk with your husband instead"
"If that’s something that bothers you then you should speak up and let it be known. If he changes cool, if not, you decide if it’s going to be a deal breaker for you."
"There will be a mix of answers here. Your feelings are valid and you are allowed to feel betrayed. Its all about what your willing to accept."
"I think this is a case by case thing. Some women are okay with it, some aren’t. Your feelings are 100% valid even if other couples don’t agree. If you are uncomfortable with it and it goes against what the standard in your relationship is then it’s worth a talk with him about how you feel about it."
"If it hurts you, makes you uncomfortable, or has you feeling any other negative way then no, it’s not ok. If you don’t care, then it’s fine. It’s subjective to your relationship. Don’t let others tell you how your relationship should be. If it bothers you, tell him. Maybe he doesn’t know. However if he keeps doing it, that’s an issue. Make sure his actions match his words. Respect each other’s boundaries and if that’s a line not to be crossed, tell him. If not, no biggie."
"If you’re not comfortable with it then talk to him and he should understand."
"I don’t know why you are asking other people how you should feel. You have every right to feel however you feel about things. Have a chat with your husband. You probably haven’t talked about boundaries and what will upset each other. Have that talk. Communication is the key to all healthy and happy relationships."
"Everyone has their own boundaries in their relationship. If it bothers you, I would sit down and just talk to him."
"Talk to him. Tell him exactly how it makes you feel, and go from there. Good luck."
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