My husband is mad that I am becoming friends with his ex: Advice?

so this past September my husband and i moved closer to his ex wife and kid we were about 45 min away and we get them vacations every weekend and all summer long. Well anyways since we moved up her i began watching her other kids; she has 6 all together and two are my step sons. So my husband has a issue cause i do so much for his ex wife and we become friends good for the kids that why i do it. Well my husband dont like it. Well i dont know i just want to get along with the kids. He keeps saying we netflix and cuddle which upset me and hurts me for him to even think i would cheat let alone with another women. I just dont know what to do i feel im doing the right thing cause i treat all her kids faily cause after all they are my step sons siblings. Am i in the wrong im sick and tired of having fighrs with my husband over something so stupid. Im.also best friend with my 1st ex husband ex wife and my second husband kids mom i just dont get it.


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband is mad that I am becoming friends with his ex: Advice?

Sounds like he doesn’t want you guys to be friends because he doesn’t want her to tell you things.


It’s sounds like your on your 3rd or beyond husband so I think your good cause when it doesn’t work out you will just move on to the next


You are a wonderful woman. You are putting the children first. You are trying to show the children how co parenting is done.
This is exactly how all blended families need to be


I don’t understand the “Netflix and chill” comment at all, unless his ex likes women. I do know some guys who decide their exes must be lesbians, but it’s usually because they can’t accept their fault in the relationship ending.
He could be feeling insecure about the two of you talking about him/comparing notes. Hopefully you don’t do that (because he’s your partner and deserves for his secrets and intimate moments to stay private – not including things like abuse). A lot of men don’t like to admit when they’re feeling insecure, so they get angry and lash out instead.
I would try to find out if that’s what’s going on, and then make sure he knows that you don’t talk about him with her. That you’re trying to look out for his kids.


Maybe there’s more to what happened between him and her and he doesn’t want you to find out from her what it was . I think you are doing the best thing by being friends with her for the kids sake because they don’t understand what’s going on yet or why mom has her place and dad has his . Just talk with him and explain that you feel like it’s good for the kids and there mental state. Don’t ever let a guy or anyone in this world tell you who you can and can’t talk to or hang out with unless there is evidence as to why there is a problem.


Some men might feel ganged up on, like you’ll take sides against him because they don’t agree or get along. Just let him know your loyalty is to him and you’re not sharing anything private with her.


Have you had a conversation with him as to why he doesn’t want you guys to be friends? Maybe until you have that conversation with him you may want to hold off looking after her other kids. I hope you guys come to a resolution soon


I know someone who did this and it’s because they didn’t want the wives being friends to call him out in his bullshit. When wife #1 says something and wife #2 goes hold up he does that to me too. Now he’s in trouble again and she’s got back up haha

Wow. The judgmental comments about her beyond married more then once are absolutely unnecessary. OP I think it’s very big of you to do what you are doing. My exhusbands wife and I get along and send each other gifts, send our other kids gifts and checks in on one another all the time even after our mutual child is grown and out of the home. It’s good for the children that they know y’all support one another and have a healthy friendship and can coparent well together. I absolutely would baby sit their kids if they lived closer and vice versa. We have gone to drinks and dinners together w/out kids because we maintain a friendship. Talk to your hubby and just explain to him more the importance of maintaining a good coparenting and supportive relationship for the kids.

Yea I think that’s a bit much for you to befriend his ex like that. Two each their own. If I was you I would respect his wishes. After all if it ends with divorce you won’t have any relationship with those kids.


It’s better for the kids if everyone gets along


No you’re not in the wrong…I mean, I feel like the more people who are civilized with one another, the better.


I know wym qbout doin it for the kids my husband left me qnd had 2 boys with her. I love qmd treat the boys as if they were my own…while living with the sad reality that they aren’t…it’s hard not to when we are ALL under the same roof…yeah ik wow right lol…but I’m trying to set a good example to my daughters who are about to turn 13 in a few months…me qnd the gf mutually hate each others guts and would dance on the others grave should one of us croak…but we are civil and put on a great show of tolerance moreso on my end considering I caught the shit end of things and still have to deal with certain issues about her…mainly her need to develop thst Lil voice tgst tells you to stfu before saying certain things especially if u say it behind the phrase you prolly don’t wna hear this or this might b tmi…lol…those few times that we agree on things my ex…were still legally married just separated since 2016…will Crack a joke about how it’s gna snow cuz we agree on a FEW subjects…he knows tho that fir the most part how lucky he is to have his ex and gf get along and I be more idk…crazy perhaps…for being able to turn the other cheek to things thst most would have come unhinged over…your husband needs to count his blessings that u snd her are on good terms instead of being nit picky and fighting over everything like most do…and if he can’t see that then he’s just not all there or there is sumthin goin on he’s ñot telling

Get a new hubby lol jk :heart::heart::heart:

Listen if it bothers him then you need to consider his feelings. The thing is the ex wife probably really hurt him. And if that’s the case he obviously isn’t going to feel good that his wife is bffs with someone who hurt him so badly. Men can’t always admit that things hurts them. Maybe it’s painful for him to see his wife so close to his ex when he obviously doesn’t like her. You can be friendly and decent to her and everything but if your husband feels it’s crossing a line to be her BFF than it’s crossing a line and you need to respect that. Imagine if the roles were reversed and all these comments would say the man is being disrespectful and not caring about his wife and blah blah.


Good for you. Y’all should have a good relationship with his ex and yes you should be friends with her.

He’s just being petty


it works for some relationships and doesn’t for others. in the end it’s better to respect your partner and not cross their boundary. He may be someone who isn’t friends with his ex himself and is only civil just to discuss kids. so he wants you by his side not his exes side.


It was all fine until I saw you’ve been married at least 3 times and are bffs with every husband’s ex. That’s getting a little weird. If it were just your husband’s ex that’s one thing. But it seems you have a thing for become bffs with all your husband’s ex’s.


Coparenting is best because your kids get the best of both worlds. Your husband needs to grow up and see it for what it is. When the kids are older they’ll appreciate having their blended families enjoy so many things as one big family :heart:

Sounds like he’s trying to hide something about himself that he doesn’t wNt you finding out from his ex

Co-parenting is a beautiful thing. I’m recently separated and my children’s stepmother has had me over a couple of times to spend time with my boys while I adjust to my new medication. My kids father is weirded out but grew a pair. She said she keeps them in her purse for him :rofl: its super beneficial for the children to see everyone getting along or at least being civil. It shapes them in a positive way for the future. Keep doing what you are doing.

My ex husband is my close friend ( despite why the marriage failed, and the toxicity we were to eachother) we sperated, and no longer are toxic to each other… I forgave him for his bs and he forgave me of mine. You know why? Because we are adults with children that need both me and their father. My BF and his ex SAME for their kids.

It’s not about you or him or the exs baby mama. It’s about the kids and what’s right for them. Friendship is a bonus :heart:

Sometimes it takes a village to raise kids. :heart: Keep on doing what your doing. If he’s so hell bent over it,that’s a him problem… and he can get crap over it. I don’t see any harm in it tbh

The other baby mommas and I are besties. And it’s honestly a red flag for me now if a man isn’t okay with the idea of me getting along with his children’s mother(s), because it shows that their priority isn’t what’s best for their child. Of course there are rare cases and extenuating circumstances, but for the most part.
Here’s why - either 1) he’s still trying to sleep with her, and if we knew about the story he’s telling each of us individually he ruins his chances with both, or 2) he has major issues that instead of admitting and actively working to fix he’s trying to blame them on his ex… because if you guys can co-parent together then he may have to face that he’s the problem.

Honestly it sounds like projection. Sounds like he wants to “Netflix and chill” with the ex and is jealous you two are getting close so he knows that won’t be able to happen.

He’s being petty idk what’s so wrong when all parents are involved and friends. Such a good environment for the children when all the adults get along.

i wasn’t married but i’m close to my kids father now ex girlfriend but i think your doing the right thing. it’s show the kids how you guys got along

I’m best friends with my step-children’s mother.
The step kids are grown now. In their early 20’s and both are married.
I have 2 more kids at home. She has 1 left at home.

We still have every holiday together, she comes to every birthday, we plan weekends together, road trips together.

We are just really good friends and my husband hates it. He has for years.
I didn’t plan on being this close to her, but it just turned out that way.
All of our children are very close and our family is literally huge.

It’s not the social norm… but it works for us and when I need help with my kiddos, she’s there, when she needs help with hers, I’m there.

Keep up the great relationship with her. Your husband will hopefully accept it, because it really makes life so much happier and easier.

I’d keep her & get rid of his childish butt! Children are innocent!

I think it’s good you want to be on good terms but I’d be pretty uncomfortable if my husband was besties with my ex :woman_shrugging:t3:. Definitely need some boundaries as it could end up really awkward of you and her have a falling out

Boundaries there is a reason she an x. Respect your relationship.

You don’t have a husband, you’re raising a grown man child. You many want to research how narcissists behave.

You might want to ask him why exactly this makes him super uncomfortable :thinking:

Sounds more like he had a hard feelings towards his ex wife husband. And he let it out on the kids.

My ex did this and I should’ve caught the red flag, it was because he did not want to find out any of the truth.  BUT it could also just basically the fact doesn’t want her that involved. Which is pretty fair. 

I know couple that got divorced and she gets along better with the new person better than her ex she gets along with her ex now I’m sure.

u cuddle and watch Netflix with his ex wife? :face_with_raised_eyebrow: that’s a bit weird and like someone said in another comment. maybe she hurt him n this is why it bothers him. i think its weird ur so close with her. friendly for the kids yea but everything u doing thats a hard pass

There’s something she knows he doesn’t want you to know. He’s gaslighting you. He’s trying to make you think there’s something wrong with what you’re doing so you don’t see what he’s doing wrong. That’s gaslighting. He’s accused you of cheating on him & being homosexual with no evidence of either. Keep your friendship with her. Dump him.

Did his ex wife cheat on him with a woman ? Maybe he’s insecure about something

He needs to grow up you’re doing the right thing