Idk what to do anymore…and you can call me insecure if you want at this point it doesnt mean anything to me…but my husband is way nicer to his female friends than he is anyone else…like you can just see the tone change in him…and he is consnatly making new “female friends” and I am just supposed to be okay with it…he even goes as far as to make comments as they are more attractive than me but I have nothing to worru about because he is with me…like im thankful he is honest but sometimes I feel like he treats them better than me…am I overreacting?
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If my husband ever said someone was more attractive than me I would be mad. That’s just disrespectful… i don’t care if you think someone is attractive but don’t be like “she’s way hotter than you”… That’s not being insecure.
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That’s not honesty. It abuse. He’s “training” you to accept his poor behavior by telling you that you should be xyz because he’s with you. He is lucky you don’t give him the boot. He can change his ways or move on. You deserve better. Who cares if he finds someone else more attractive, they may be a terrible human. If they’re entertaining a married man, they are.
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I don’t think it’s overreacting when he is treating them nicer than you and when he tells you that they are more attractive than you! That seems like a red flag to me.
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If he’s nicer to everyone else, and putting on a show, it can be abusive. Especially if he’s using it to make you feel less than. He’s wearing you down and making you feel like you deserve the way he’s treating you. He’s making you feel like you’re insecure instead of it being a warranted reaction to his behavior. Narcissists gaslight you and then act like you’re crazy.
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What would you tell your friend if she was in this situation? There is your answer. You don’t deserve this. Time to move on
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People teach others how to treat them. You are allowing the behavior. If you don’t like the behavior then set a boundary, if he loves you he will respect it.
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I had a similar problem with my ex husband. Ex.
He began cheating with “those women” eventually. And had me feeling terrible about myself before he even started cheating. Took me years to rebuild my self esteem. Please leave. There is no excuse for it. It will tear you down. 
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Na I’d be mad my husband has said some female are attractive I’m like okay and usually I’ll agree with him but not once has he said that they are more attractive than me he treats me like a queen the only female friends he has are lesbian I’ve met him they’re nice people and their coworkers but he’s not friends with just random females and he would never say that another one is more attractive than me girl you’re justified I’d be mad as hell because there is no reason for him to be treating females better than he treats you you’re his wife significant other not them if my husband started treating other females better than he treated me I’d be out of that relationship
This happened to me once using a tone expressing his disgust with me and someone arrived and it was like a snap this was the person I met on the first day all smiles and giggles to another women I was done I didn’t need anything more then that.
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He is emotionally abusing you and trying to control you by playing on your self doubt. Sounds a bit narcist to me.
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Actually it sounds like HE’s the one that’s insecure! He’s also seriously disrespectful of you and your marriage.
You may not feel insecure in your beauty but I would not feel secure in your relationship. People who need that much female/male attention most likely have underlying issues.
I myself get along easier with men than women but maintaining a healthy mix is less alarming when in relationship(s).
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I would leave him asap he is giving you a hint take it an leave
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Make him an EXample of what to never do again.
If you arent going to leave the a** (which you should…) then start making lots of male friends 
And be sure to make the same comments. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I cant imagine telling my partner that i found another male more attractive.
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So read your statement what would you tell someone else on this group? There’s your answer… you deserve so much more…big hugs
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He’s not honest, he’s manipulative, and those comments are doing exactly what they’re meant to do- hurt you
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That’s bs that would’ve been his last sentence to me. Think you can have better go find it then. Bye. He sounds like an asshole.
Oh no… oh HELL no no no… throw the man away. He is a frikin pig…
Marriage counseling. Sounds like he has a self esteem problem and he’s trying to groom you into losing your self esteem so he can control you. If he won’t go to counseling, go yourself.
Also feel free to confront/call him out: “why are you fawning over her when I’m right here/you’re married to me ?” “What in earth would make you say that/think it’s acceptable to say that?” “So based on that comment /your behavior do you want a divorce?” Tell him what upsets you, tell him to stop it or suffer (consequence).
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Are you looking at you? By that I mean, is his words making you 2nd guess your worth? Don’t! I’d leave. Sounds like you are being controlled and manipulated and I am certain you are worthy of better. He may need to keep other women around just because he feels low self esteem and he’s hiding behind a false narrative. I hope you choose you, you’re worth better than this!
Marriage counseling doesn’t always work. You tell the counselor your problems and they go by that. He will not tell the whole truth. They never do so it doesn’t work. He disrespects you in a way that it’s called narcissism. He thinks if he lowers you to where you feel insecure then he gets away with the cheating. What man want all female friends unless they want to cheat. Do yourself a favor and divorce this guy because in the long run your going to have big heartaches. I personally wouldn’t give a guy like that the time of day.
You do not deserve to be treated like this. File for a divorce and leave him with his friends
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Don’t worry thing’s will be in your favor!
Its clear the term for cruelly manipulating your self esteem cant be called gaslighting but it could be referred to as “ass-lighting”, he’s a real tool, you should protect your delicate self and circle the wagons
NOPE. Why would he go out of his way to tell you they’re more attractive? What’s his angle in that? To make you feel like you’re lucky? To make you feel shitty? I’m more concerned by that than him just having female friends. Especially if he genuinely is kinder to them. Go be with someone who respects your feelings.
Turn the tables
Start acting like he does
Do what he does
He will change real fast …
He’s rude and arrogant. Get rid of him.
No you’re not. Men feel the same as you when their wives make male friends. It’s called jealousy. But we all feel this . Start talking to other men when you go out and see how he likes it. After he talks to you about it say welcome to my world.