You have EVERY right to feel that way, I’m in a similar situation so i understand. The baby is his child too! You’re both parents therefore you both have full time jobs. How do you approach the topic? When i talk to my husband about anything i find that the approach makes all the difference. If i do mostly “i feel” statements and im calm and don’t make accusations hes a lot more willing to listen. If i immediately fly off the bat yelling and being angry we don’t get anywhere.
Your feelings are very valid and that exact thing is why I refuse to have anymore kids. My relationship was blown to hell over this too. If he doesn’t change, you’ll start to resent him. You need to seek out a therapist so that you don’t start to resent being a mom too. Then get in contact with your family, maybe they’ll fly out for a while to be with you. Hell I’d be plotting to get my ass back home.
Your emotions are real and understandable!! I am living it. I had the conversation with him and got the promises it was going to change if we had another. It changed alright he just never comes home anymore. Based on my experience if you are already feeling this way don’t have another one with him. Find support resources so you have time and energy to find the new you as well. Don’t wait for him to catch up, you will be miserable and that will rub off on the kid(s).
I had a husband like that now my ex for a lot of reasons. But having a baby changes a lot in a relationship and you need to sit and talk it out with him…yes he works yes sure he is tired but a baby and household stuff is like a job except it’s 24/7 raising a baby and having a family is team work and both need to do their part and you need to be on the same page. I think all that should be discussed before you have a baby but I also say that in retrospect. Some men just don’t do babies and that’s also ok but they need to understand that it isbalpt of work on no sleep and on top you still have to do life so he needs to pitch in and help period. Talk to him try to explain if he won’t listen you may need to look at a couple of counselling sessions to have a mediator to assist you. Some guys are hands on from the get go and some men are terrified and do nothing maybe he has some stuff going on too but has not told you…but it’s a partnership and that’s the only way.
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My daughter is 23 now, I had her at 22. I live in a southern culture. Cajun…The men work, the women stay home. It was just understood I guess that the men dont tend the babies. Not feeding or changing. No housework. I never needed help with it bc it was always done, I was always home so my house was spotless. Still is mostly lol. . The Dads dont really do much for them, but do things with them. Start teaching the boys how to fish etc very young, the girls get spoiled by Dad and stay home mostly with Mom to learn how to do what she does basically… But. He also treats his woman well. Isnt pissy about it. He respects her. Doesnt make her feel selfish for wanting a break. Takes her out and gives her one. You’re not selfish, He is. His ways are ugly. It’s not you its him. Just know that this is temporary. Being stuck home, diapers, all of it. Temporary.
Id stay on my birth control with this guy. Not the kind of man you want to live with forever. He sounds narcissistic. Those men will ruin a woman.
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My husband does all of those things, too, except he’s been unemployed now for 7 months now. 
I’ve been in both positions. A stay at home mom and a working mom while hubby stays home. When I stayed home I did everything right down to making my husbands plate and bringing it to him for dinner. Now roles have revered and my husband does everything except dishes(there is something about washing dishes he refuses to do lol) I’m tired from working all day and coming home. The last thing I want to do is help him. I just want to relax to be honest. I will say that once your baby gets older dad will get more involved.
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When my kids were babies, i was a stay at hone mom. My husband worked and paid the bills. I never asked him to help change diapers feedings, baths, etc. He never got up and asked me to go to his job and help him. Taking care of the kids and the home was MY JOB. I never complained about any of it bc It wasn’t hard work. This generation wants help with everything and has excuses for why they CANT do it. No offense, but boss up and handle your biz. Dont expect to much and you wont get disappointed. Love your baby and do all you can for your child bc that is YOUR JOB
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How is him working any different than you caring for a child and household 24/7? It’s not and you don’t even get a break. He needs to be a man and step tf up. Being a dad isn’t going to work and coming home to dinner and a clean house without any interaction with his child. He needs to be a DAD! Just sticking his dick in you and getting you pregnant is NOT being a dad! He helped make that child, he needs to help. My husband tried this in the beginning and I nipped that bs in the butt. Stop that crap now or he’ll never be a dad and you’ll end being responsible for the whole household while he goes to work then comes home and does nothing forever how ever long you end up together. I have very painful chronic diseases now and my husband helps me tons without complaint now. I know it’s different but as things are, if you are unable to do something cuz you are sick, would he help? No he won’t. I’ve heard story after story about this same exact thing. What’s the point in being together except for sex if he isn’t being a husband and dad!? You guys need to work together. Without that well then you can do everything you are doing without him. Just like you are doing now. Good luck
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I had this uninvolved spouse issue when I got married within our first year which mind you i heard should have been the greatest year then things go sore lol nope first year was the hardest and trying year ever. Put it like this a mom who has experienced it all and a dad who barely has any experience at all. It was tough but I spoke with my husband all the time until it got to that either you try to improve or one of us gots to go. If he loves you enough trust me he will wont want to lose his family muchless you. Fast forward to our second year of marriage and he has honestly improved so so much, yes reminders, a little encouragement and a push here and there but trying is all I ask for. Now that I just gave birth to our baby that links our blended family he is so involved and I absolutely love it. Hang in there keep talking to him. Dont be afraid to get firm. Motherhood is a 24 hour job, sun up to sun down and back up lol. We get no breaks so the least he can do is help a little. Yes he is tired but so are you. Always show appreciation tho for him going out there to work to keep you guys together but he made that baby too.
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Tell him EXACTLY how you feel and don’t feel bad about it. He can’t read your mind. You’ll just end up resenting him for things he doesn’t understand. It didn’t click for my boyfriend until I kept bugging him if you’re secure enough in your relationship, you should be able to have this discussion. And tell him you’re only one person doing the job of two people. And it’s not what you signed up for. Tell him you’re a person who needs a break.
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When he gets home hand him what he needs, hand him the baby, written instructions if you think it’s necessary and say I need a break. It’s your turn. Learn to be an actual parent. And no just a paycheck. And you leave and go do something for you for a few hours. Tell him if he just wants to be a paycheck then he can be single and pay child support. 
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I was in the same boat…I don’t have any advice for you but I feel your pain and I am so sorry! It’s very hard and frustrating…but you got this mama! 
do what’s best for you and baby
Sounds like a real asshole. Remind him you didn’t create the little one alone and it’s his responsibility as a father to help care for his child. Seriously reconsider having more children with this guy if you’re not going to get help. I’m also a SAHM, but my husband frequently spends time with his kiddo, and even gave me a “day off” on one of the rare occasions he hasn’t had to work.
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Dont worry about what Shanika Boyd wrote. I am a single parent with an autistic 7 year old and a deaf 3 year old. I also stay at home and work online from home but being a stay at home mom IS tough and IS a full time job in itself! Shanika probably has people to help her out, unlike a lot of us that dont. Dobt worry mama, keep your head up!
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I was married to someone like that, he never held any of the kids never had any involvement with them. I even had to maintain the outside work. I divorced him after 9 years of marriage because he was useless. Get out now and don’t have any more kids with him he’ll never change.
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Your husband a self absorbed asshole and needs Jesus. I’m a guy and I know that there is nothing more important than taking care of my wife and kids. Her happiness is more important than my own. Joy is Jesus first, others second, and yourself last. Hire a maid, a babysitter, and give yourself a spa day.
So last week I went through this whole dance with my SO. He works daily and the bills have become more of a stressor than anything and I felt alone in raising our 3mo. I tried talking to him but it always turned to being about how tired he was after work.
Now, I’m not saying this is a healthy way to go about it for you but it was for me. I had a full breakdown. 3months of a shit sleep schedule, breastfeeding, PPD, anxiety, the whole new mom cocktail. I yelled and cried my heart out and just broke down every little thing that had piled up and, thankfully, he was really receptive once I got past the anger and through to the hurt. He let me cry and he held our son while I just lost my shit to reset, and we talked once all that negative energy was worked out. I didnt attack him or anything I just told him how I felt lol with raw emotion behind it. We ended the night with an understanding, breathing easier and making sure we expressed that no matter how hard, we still love each other. The next morning the whole house felt light as air and we make sure to keep working on it. When he gets home and does his little routine,he’ll come take baby and usually it’s time to burp, and I’ll do whatever I need to do until baby specifically needs me. Usually I’ll be cooking or finishing up a chore, but sometimes I’ll just check my phone, stretch, lol pee with the door closed. But even that little bit of time has help my SO and I. One of the things that stuck him the most was that it hurt me how little he was interacting with our son, playfully. He has since played so much more and I think that has helped him to bond better and take more initiative.
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What r u doing in that marriage? I would not put up with that. I’ve been there. They will never get the responsibility.
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Hire a sitter so you can have a few hours of me time. If he doesn’t like that explain why you HAD to do it. Him being the bread winner doesn’t give him leave to ignore other duties!
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This is why I am now a single mom, left him when she was 5 mnths old
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This is when you leave and leave for a week let him miss you and let him see how much you truly do… don’t answer text nothing go stay with a friend or someone
Try having a talk with him. Let him know how you feel and ask how he’s feeling especially if the tiredness and getting angry are unusual for him. My boyfriend was pretty bad at helping out for 6 months, turns out he had post partum depression. After he and i had a long talk after a hige fight, he went to his dr who reminded us dads get it to and gave him some antidepressants. Complete 180 he helps before work, takes her on days off so I can have a bath or go someplace, feeds her if i need him to, and just actually works on connecting with her.
Tell him you are taken a brake and leave the child with him and see how he can handle it maybe that will open his eyes to find that u do a lot of work at home…and tell him you need help sometime guys are so dumb founded they can’t take the hints just tell him what you want…and if he gets pissed and doenst help than you might want to rethink your relationship.
I’m separated from my husband for this reason. Don’t take his shit. You deserve better mama. He needs to step up, or step out.
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Welcome to the world of being with a man. Pretty sure most men are like this… useless! Mine didnt help at all either, and if I would ask… It was my fault for not being able to handle it all… or I was the crazy one… I say fuck him… if he won’t help then so be it. I just concentrated on my baby and said fuck it with him!
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Yeah you’re being selfish and resentful for no good reason! Being a single parent is way harder than “oops I stay home all day with the baby and still get no help”… Being a single parent is 10000 times harder, I’ve done both!
You admitted yourself that you’re still mad about something from 5 months ago, you’re holding onto anger, letting it stew and its continuously getting worse on the daily basis instead of being a woman and talking to your man about issues you are feeling. If you have an issue, talk about it immediately or you’re marriage is going to go to shit and you’re still going to be blaming him because he “works hard and fell asleep”.
How’s he gonna fix it if you don’t just sit and have a one on one serious convo? The remarks you say he gives sounds like replies from someone bitching at him instead of a serious convo.
Men have emotions too, they just don’t show them as easily as women do.