My husband keeps comparning my cooking to his moms...advice?

Any advice on this situation: my husband keeps comparing my cooking with his mom. Every time I cook something, he would say stuff like “my mom cooked something like this too but she put tomatoes sauce, etc. It’s the best!” TBH, I thought the salmon pasta I’ve made was soo delicious but to put me down comparing me to his mom’s dish breaks my spirit. I’ve been cooking since I was 11 years old so my cooking is nothing like his mom’s. It’s getting frustrating to the point that I feel like my cooking will never be good enough for him. Any positive advice or suggestion please? I don’t want to be his mom; I just want to be a wife.

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I guess as long as he eats it l wouldn’t be bothered by it. I actually make better potato salad than my Mother in law. At least he’s eating at home. Pick your battles

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Tell him to go back to his momma if he want her cooking cuz, everyone cooks different or he can cook it himself. I told my ex that if he kept complaining about my cooking he’s going to wear it. He stopped.

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If you want your momma’s food, go have her cook it or cook it yourself… Otherwise, sit down, eat what I made & STFU!!

From my experience I wish I learned my mother in laws receipts before she passed away. I was offended at first, when she was still alive he wouldn’t make negative comments but he would say oh mom does it this way and I know you would like it too, but I was still feeling down that he didn’t like my cooking and my cooking is delicious!! I wish I wasn’t so offended and instead learned from her and her style and ways, and I wish I had a recipe book passed down to be able to try and attempt her dishes. Open conversation is always the best way, and instead of feeling offended just let him know how it makes you feel and maybe ask if you guys can try cooking together, or ask her for some recipes that he enjoys and try to mimic them! Most times it’s the person doing the cooking makes it the best and it has nothing to do with you! Just from my personal experience I wish I learned more instead of being offended

Tell him to go to his mums

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Ask him if mom is cooking it’s so good. Why did he leave her house? 

My dad, divorced my mom and when he remarried, he used to come complain about his wife’s cooking and how it did not compare to my mothers

Tell him to go to his moms for dinner every day
Or fight fire with fire tell him your dads a better driver, or ex is a better lover :woman_shrugging: see how it makes him feel

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He isn’t saying yours is bad or putting you down though…he’s just telling you he’d like tomatoes in it
Some people have different tastes, try it with tomatoes next time, maybe you’ll like it too
Some of you really try to make mountains out of mole hills :woman_facepalming:

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Quit cooking, call door dash

Tell him to get his Mother to Cook for Him

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Maybe ask him to get his Mom’s recipe. I don’t think he’s intentionally trying to hurt your feelings.

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Tell him to go eat his moms cooking and just cook for yourself. Better yet, make him cook the meals if he doesn’t appreciate your time and effort.

Have an honest and open conversation about how his comments make you feel. Don’t do it in the heat of the moment, try to find a neutral time and place so it doesn’t feel like a “fight”. Be open minded in the conversation and give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s not trying to hurt your feelings. I would also be open to trying a few recipes of your MIL’s. It would be a sweet gesture on your part to learn to cook one of his favorites.

Now if you do all that, and he still doesn’t get it…tell him he can sleep at his Mama’s house each night, since he prefers to eat there anyway.

Cook for yourself and when he complains, tell him to go to his mom’s since he likes her cooking more than yours.

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Oh my goodness, I have yet to cook a single thing that my husband didn’t tell me something that would make it better. I think it’s a habit and not so much a reflection of my cooking. I just prepare myself for it and ignore it but I can sympathize. I would ask him if he doesn’t like your cooking. Chances are he does and it’s his strange way of making conversation.

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Communicate with him. Maybe he doesn’t know how it sounds and how it’s making you feel. Tell him you’re glad he enjoys his mom’s cooking and you’d like to try hers someday too, but that you have your own style of cooking and are not trying to replicate anyone else’s. Tell him it feels like an insult when he compares. If he were just mentioning how she does it, that would be ok but comparison is not. Ask him to keep an open mind to a new way and it doesn’t mean he can’t still also love his mother’s way. If he’s not getting the point, ask him how he would like it if you were to compare him to others.

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i agree with cindy sue–pick your battles. not everything is worth the war–after all it’s the “war” you want to win, not the battle. if this really does bother you, then ask him if he wants to cook for the next couple of weeks. have told my husband this more than once-- you can cook next time.

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I would sit down and tell him it hurts your feelings,get some of his Mom’s recipes and try them……marriage is a give and take……maybe he doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings, it be honest with him….if after that it continues, then I would tell him maybe he can try cooking and see how he does.

My husband always tell me this is really amazing dinner and thank you for making this dinner it remind me of my mom when she made dinner before she passed away from cancer. He never criticize me or compare my cooking to his mom. I have learned to ask his mom what is the most favorite dinner he love and crave for? He love meatloaf with real mashed potatoes and green beans, pork chop with real mashed potatoes with green beans, ziti with homemade garlic breads, beef stew with gravy with mashed potatoes and corn, spaghetti and salad plus homemade garlic breads. I will cook those once or twice a month just to make him happy and enjoy the meals. It isn’t perfect like her but he know I’m trying so hard and he appreciates it.
My advice maybe talk to your mother in law and get some favorite recipes he love to have for dinner and make it once a month or every 2 month to show him your trying and have him be happy and enjoy the meal once a while. And yea talk to ur husband how you feel and don’t like to be criticizing or comparing between u and his mom by him. If he refuse to understand and accept the life he married to and live the life with you and expect the meals must be like his mom. He has no respect for you, real love for you that you are trying. He can go get meal from his mama everyday or he can cook dinner himself til he apologizes and changes his action and attitude.

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I actually was with someone like this and it was a huge red flag. He would say, thanks for dinner but it would have tasted so much better if you did it this way instead of that way. And I stopped cooking for the rest of the time I was with him. This is verbal and psychological abuse by the way. It’s meant to make you feel less than and it is very manipulative. Don’t put up with this.

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Tell him to go to his mothers for his meals. Fire the pot across the room and he’ll either go to his mother’s for meals or shut the hell up :grin:

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If he wants food the way his mom make it ,let him then go to her and eat there .Each women was taught differently and have different ways of cooking ,even us who was taught by our mothers how to cook have our own way of cooking things ,if he’s not appreciating the effort you put in to prepare that meal ,cook ,set the table and dish for you /children alone and let him ask wheres his “I didn’t dish for you dear hubby I made cabbage stew but I don’t think you would want some,because it’s not the way your mom would’ve made it ,its the way I make it”

my first husband said something like that…so i said…im not your mom… that was all it took…never mentioned it again…

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Stop cooking for him and tell him go to his mom’s to eat

Tell him that. I don’t want to be your mom, I want to be your wife.

It’s a guy thing don’t take ot to heart. One day of you have sons they will be doing it to their wives. No body cooks like mommy lol

Next time he performs one of his chores whatever they might be, tell him how much faster and more efficiently your father did those things. If he gets tired of it and he will tell him it makes you feel the same way when he compares your cooking to his mom’s. Some people can’t understand how somethings can be hurtful until it is directed at them.

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Tell him to,eat at his mom’s house and go watch TV !

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Tell him if he wants or different or “better”, he can cook for himself or go to his moms to eat. :woman_shrugging:
If I had already talked to him and he kept on, I’d stop cooking for him.

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He can cook his own GD dinner​:fu:t2::tipping_hand_woman:t3:

Tell him to cook for himself then.

Ask him why didn’t he marry his mom and he knew how your food tasted before he married you and if it wasn’t up to par why’d he marry you. Men always tryna belittle you to lower your self esteem. Make you question yourself. Ugh

I would ask his mom for recipes of his favorite meals or ask her to come over to cook dinner for him without him knowing she’s there. I’ve been married for 34 years and my mother taught me to make cabbage rolls and lasagna using her recipe

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Tell him that you are not his mom!!
If he wants to criticize your cooking, he can do the cooking!

Tell him to go eat with his mom then

Instead of being ugly like some suggest I think you should should sit down with him and express this to him in a loving way like you did on here. But if he keeps on stop cooking for him​:rofl::rofl:. Jk

Lol tell him go eat at his mom’s house problem solved and less cooking for you

Just tell him one more comment or comparison about your cooking and your gonna get Octavia Spencers recipe for the pie in the movie “The Help”, he will shut his mouth and politely chew his food

I would give his suggestions a try… Some might be good, some awful. But always be open to suggestions…but that’s just me…

First consider whether it’s meant to be an insult/down comparison or if it’s simply an observation.
It doesn’t sound like he insulted what you made as much as your dish sort of envoked nostalgia of childhood because it was similar to a dish his mom made.
Rather getting upset that he talks about dishes his mom made
I personally would talk to him and let him know that you would appreciate him letting you know that he enjoys the things you make as well.

Either tell him to cook or he can go eat at his mothers house or ask him if he wants to eat your food when you dishing up

Start comparing your sex life to ex boyfriends. :woman_shrugging:t2:

“That was good but my Ex Simon used to ______ you should have done that.” And then walk away

Maybe send him back to his mommy, clearly he is still on the tit

Have him go to moms for his meals

Don’t cook for him, tell him to go to his mums

Tell him you ain’t his mom.and do it his self

I wish I could cook like my mom but that’s impossible.

Honestly. Maybe he is just trying to communicate how his taste buds are a little different than yours. Trying to help you in making things he likes or would like even more. They may be delicious the way you make things… it didn’t sound like him saying it was bad. But for his taste buds perhaps he was looking for just a little bit extra. Cooking for people and learning their preferences are important. Just ask him when he says it next time if he would like for you to try to make it that way. Don’t take things so personal with comparisons. He may just be trying to help guide you.

Have him cook and be like my dad made something like this but added onions and it was delicious. Give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe he doesn’t realize he is doing it

Communicate… calmly talk to him about how it makes you feel like he’s comparing you to his mom and ask him if he actually is. He might just be trying to start a conversation. All of this could just be as simple as men have simple minds and women have deeper minds and we tend to think deeper than men.

Communication before assumptions.

You need to sit down and tell him he is hurting your feelings when he dies this. Also he may be just commenting and not meaning to put you down. Also tell him if he wants something cooked the way his mother did then he can cook it like his mother.

I’m not your mom I’m your wife if you want to live with your mom, you can go do that

If you are willing to:

  1. see if you can have his mom show you or share with you a few recipes that she makes that he likes.
    OR if not, or he’s still not satisfied…
  2. have him eat his meals at his moms.

He may never be satisfied.
Have you tried letting him know how this makes you feel? Maybe in non confrontational way, open his eyes at what he’s doing by reminding him you’re not his mom, but his wife, by choice.
I’m sorry you don’t feel appreciated.
Best of luck to you.