Nope, tell him when he can provide for his family and please you 100% in every way then you’ll think about. Lol…so that will be never… Stop paying everything and start saving for your exit…
1 Like
He’s definitely not joking, it’s how they do it lol. Also if you’re doing everything and he’s acting like a teenager then send him back to his Mom’s couch
2 Likes
Is this question for real
From my experience, thus is never just a joke and is used to test the waters. Be weary! This is a serious red flag.
3 Likes
The only other female he needs to add to his life is his Mama …send that baby man back home. She obviously wasn’t done raising him.
5 Likes
I thought mine was joking for 47 yrs. He wasn’t. I made a mistake for staying.
Honey, he is gaslighting you. I would have responded with, I’d rather add a man to the relationship, maybe one that works and you know contributes to the family.
Tell him to get a job and pull his weight or he can leave.
11 Likes
Put your foot down, doe he work ? His child too so he help look after baby… if not divorce papers be served only a year in two, know your value. You worth more and deserve better
You have another child, not a husband. Throw the whole man-child away.
2 Likes
Umm yea your relationship does not sound like a healthy relationship in general. If he keeps “joking” about adding another woman to the relationship then it’s not really joking. He actually wants to add another woman to the relationship but he doesn’t want to just come out and say it. Him “joking” about it is his way of testing the waters to see how you feel about it.
He is bored and trying to keep u for the provisions, and have access to other women sexually. No. He is also hoping you agree, then he will use you agreeing as a reason for him to force other women upon you. Let him have who he wants
U a single mother already.
I’ve been married 23 years and my husband has never and would never bring this up. No matter how much he would want it, he wouldn’t dare say it. Your husband is hinting and seeing if u will say ya.
I might tell ya a joke, but I’ll never tell you a lie!
Do what you want with this info‼️
1 Like
Have you looked at his phone?
He’s not joking. Time to file divorce and start the healing process
1 Like
you’re not being dramatic. He’s insensitive, self serving. Be cautious, sounds like he’s already on the prowl. Even if he hasn’t done anything, it’s in his mind. You take care of you and that kid first! Consider making an Exit Plan.
2 Likes
Warning signs !!! Red flag
You are the one who is right
1 Like
So, I use to say this to my husband all the time when our girls were growing up. We have both always been hardworkers and the idea of having a sister wife to take in some responsibilities in other areas so we could have mire tune for each other and individual and still meet all our needs sounded great. He always knew it was a joke. Obviously you are feeling some resentment toward him for the time he is out living his life. Maybe he is feeling some resentment to. Your time, which probably was once centered on him is now divided with a child and responsibilities. If you love him and it’s worth it to you. The two of you need to put your heads together and figure out ways to make individual time for both of you. You are in a group page looking for comfort when you should be communicating to him and it sounds like he is out probably communicating with friends his issues with your relationship. Talk to each other bot the world around you. Tell him your needs and ask his. If they don’t match the idea you have in your head if what you want for yourself go your separate ways.
Girl, if you doing all of that…what do you need him for? Dump him! Ask yourself…are you desperate?
You are raising a second child.
What do you even need him for if you are doing all that on your own and then he wants to add a female to the relationship:roll_eyes:
. You deserve much better
1 Like
When a boy likes you, they pick on you… sometimes when a man jokes with you that’s his form way of getting truth off of his chest… a relationship and especially a marriage is a 50/50 duty and if he’s not bringing his full 50 at the end of the day you are much better without!! Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve and I promise you it’s not this.
1 Like
File for full custody immediately and kick him out
You need to ask yourself why you are essentially married to a child. Seems you are doing it all on your own and he is just a burden so I say divorce him. Life will be way better when he is gone.
Why isnt he working and taking care of his child?
1 Like
You’re not being dramatic…this sounds like him hinting at wanting to add a 3rd. He’s bored with some aspect. And trying to get an answer. When you said no he flipped it to a joke as to not upset you further. I’d have a serious conversation with him. If that’s what he’s interested in and why. Don’t just dump him. These females always say “just leave him”. That’s never the answer. Most guys have entertained the thought even if they have never made it known. A simple conversation is all that’s needed.
There is a show about that. It didn’t turn out well for the dude. I think it’s called Sister Wives.
1 Like
Hes not working to support your family??? Uhh…hes a loser! Dump him! and RUN! Unless you like having a hubby who’s out doing who knows what instead of supporting his family. Its obvious what comes first to him…hes showing you! Take the hint! Find a man who puts his family first! This guy just wants to have fun!
1 Like
I would hire and investigator and get to the bottom of it. Sounds like he may be up to no good. His behavior is out of line. His joke isn’t funny if it’s making you hurt. I would be suspicious.
Talk about adding another guy, only if he is into it
Not only are you being dramatic but you’re also not being sympathetic to his needs as a man. Have a threesome and then make him a sandwich.
The relationship is over, save your child heartbreak and go ahead and end it. You’re already doing everything anyway.
7 Likes
“Jokes” are supposed to be funny, make others laugh. This is not a joke. Not only does it not make you laugh, it makes you hurt. He keeps bringing it up KNOWING that you aren’t “down” is his way of trying to wear you down. I’m not sure how you can be the “bad guy for not taking the joke” because what exactly does it mean to “take the joke”? Go along with it? He cares less about how you feel than about what he wants and in this case, that is so wrong!
The rest of your post makes me believe that you are married more than your husband is. It’s not being in “different phases of life”. You are BOTH married and you are BOTH parents. Yet it sounds like you are acting as a single mom. He’s out drinking and smoking at bars with his “friends” and “joking” about bringing another woman into your relationship… he may have already done that but without your knowledge.
I never like to go to “leave” before trying everything possible first but trying everything means BOTH OF YOU. If he’s going to continue to act single, I would let him BE SINGLE. I’m sorry but it sounds like he’s not as committed to the marriage and unless that changes, it’s not going to get better. And as long as you are “allowing” he’s going to continue to do it because right now, he’s got the best of both worlds
Firstly, if y’all aren’t happy-the answer to his question should be a FIRM no.
Secondly, you should be talking to him about the state of y’all’s relationship. If he doesn’t genuinely try….it’s not gonna work. Sorry…
Almost sounds like he already has someone in mind.
2 Likes
You’re definitely not being dramatic. Obviously, that is not something you are open to or okay with so the fact that he keeps saying it is just disrespectful. I think he is definitely serious. Most people will make “jokes” about serious topics to feel out the other person. I can see the direction this relationship is heading already. It’ll be a few years down the road and he will be cheating or giving you an ultimatum. It’s not worth the pain, babe. You already know what your gut instincts are telling you to do. Trust them and trust yourself. You will be just fine. He will be regretting losing you for the rest of his life.
Absolutely not a joke and I’d tell him next time he mentions it to keep his penis in his pants or he’s out the door.
I would ask him for a divorce if he keeps it up
4 Likes
Sounds to me like he already has someone in mind /is guilty of something and is testing to see how you’d react. Given you’ve stated you’re at ‘different stages in life’ AKA he’s being a bum, next time I’d say ‘ sure, maybe she’d love and treat me better’.
You deserve more from this life.
2 Likes
It’s a small boundary to say “I don’t like these jokes” and if he keeps doing the small thing you’ve said you don’t like then what other boundaries is he gonna cross?
Tell him you’d like to add another male to the relationship, see how that flies with him 
Unfortunately, I think he is only 10% joking, he would totally be down if you gave him permission. This reoccurring “joke” and his lack of ambition and help would be major stumbling blocks for me to overcome. I would start getting my ducks in a row.
You’re doing it all on your own already run… Run fast
He’s not joking. And you’re letting him set the precedence for the relationship. Can I ask why you married him? Was he like this before?
I’m sorry, but it doesn’t like a joke to me
1 Like
That’s not a joke if he knows ur not for it. It’s disrespect is what it is. Why u tolerate it is what’s confusing.
So say you wanna bring in another man
RUN LIKE HELL AWAY FROM THIS DEGENERATE! you are doing everything! and he doesnt even hold a job? he should be grateful and not acting like a spoiled BRAT!
if he’s constantly doing the joke, he’s not kidding, if you ain’t happy now, a three way is only gonna make it worse
7 Likes
Ew. For him to keep joking like that is basically saying he wants more, which is implying that you aren’t enough. He’s disgusting.
I would have a serious conversation with him about how the “joke” makes you feel, how you are against it to ever be real and also other expectations about what you are looking for in the relationship. 5 years is a long time to let things go down hill and harder to come back from. Maybe it also needs to be said about getting on the same page and maybe he should get a job and spend more quality time with you and your child other than always hanging out with his friends and doing what he wants. Time for him to grow up and be a man other than a teenager in a man’s body.
Leave…. Or better yet, make him leave your home
1 Like
I wouldn’t accept that behaviour… you’ve only been married a year… YOU should feel enough for him, and HE should make you feel enough! If he can see that it’s upsetting you and still saying it… the fact that he’s our drinking and smoking all of the time while you’re doing all the work and looking after your child… its not fair on you!
23 Likes
Hes testing the water to see what you’ll say. Maybe suggest a second husband because youre home all day alone and lonely.
3 Likes
He can take his fast car and keep on driving.
2 Likes
You are not ready for polyamory if you cannot have open and honest communication. Ask him directly why he is joking about it & have the hard talks.
1 Like
Run. He’s not joking if he’s saying it over & over. You deserve better & to never feel like you’re not enough in a relationship.
10 Likes
Let’s just say I know I had an associate and her husband kept suggesting it to her… she kept saying no and they have been married only 2 years but she finally gave in … only to have the female reach out to her years later because her and the husband were still intimate and they were intimate before the 3 some but the other lady must’ve had her feelings in too deep!!
My associate and her husband are now divorced sooo yeah… I would be filing papers immediately
Your being mommy to an adult
He needs gone. Get rid of him. You’re being used, big time.
1 Like
He isn’t joking. He’s testing your reaction to it. Have an honest and serious conversation about it and your feelings, that you aren’t interested etc.
34 Likes
And he has NO job…bye boy!!!
- He’s already got the woman in mind.
- He’s already slept with her.
- Your marriage is over.
- Read first 3 again.
You are not being dramatic and he’s definitely not joking. It’s something that’s on his mind. If you already feel like a single parent while he’s out doing whatever he wants while you work and pay all the bills and raise your child then it may be time to BE a single parent. He sounds childish and I think you deserve better than that. You are more than enough for the right person.
10 Likes
No, and honestly if he’s going out and drinking and Smoking and doing whatever he wants, it’s not a far jump that he has already pushed the limit of adding someone in on his end
He wants a threesome and trying to see how you’d react. Then he is manipulating you by turning the tables on you for “not taking the joke” that was never a joke! Don’t let him turn it around on you sis!
1 Like
Honestly, he wouldn’t of suggested it if he didn’t have someone in mind already. Personally, I wouldn’t take that but since you’ve only been married a year, I don’t understand how you didn’t see this coming unless literally it happened overnight.  I’ve been in relationships before where I was the main breadwinner and the other person would just mess around with their friends. I’m single now and you know what I’m OK with it.
Even without him asking for another woman in the relationship, red flags galore. Not helping with kids, not working, going out with friends all the time. Nah tell him to go find another woman on his own, without you.
20 Likes
He sounds like he was never into the married mode at all. You’re doing all the work
Tell him you want to add another guy to the relationship…
Honestly he’s probably already sleeping w her
Nope,leave his sorry ass…let him have another girl…he doesn’t deserve you.
Tell him yeah your down for a third and you’ll let him know when you find the other guy. Turn the tables on him, see how he likes that. 
He really wants one if he was really joking he wouldn’t keep bringing it up and wouldn’t have said unless your down. He absolutely is wanting one 100% he was just testing you to gage wether or not he should tell you straight out.
Oh wow yeah he’s already with someone or has been you need to tell him straight up get out or figure it out I left a few times !! Finally figured it out and prayed my butt of for a miracle a big difference for use was we were both alone no family support ect we were all we had each other and our kids so after 5 years he finally got the hint I wasn’t playing don’t deal with the BS be strong stand your ground and don’t steel or he will walk all over you the only chance you have or a future is tuff love and him willing to make a change !! Point blank ps action speak louder then words !! 100 percent !! He’s going to try and soon talk you into doing what he wants and make a lot of false promises !! Don’t let that fly either “ if he’s working and try that counts NO BARS NO parties !! No hanging out with the guys he obviously has no self control or worth !! He needs to figure that out if he’s just going to drag you all down with him
Let him go before you suffer any more. If he is going to bars and drinking then you can bet that he is hanging with the ladies. Get rid of the bum.
Sounds like he’s having a hard time taking care of his family and one woman and he wants a second woman  please 
Start making your exit. If he ain’t cheating already he will be if you don’t go along with the second woman
1 Like
That’s not different chapters girl, those are whole different books. You carry all the responsibility and he has all the reward. And then makes rude comments and then as soon as he sees your upset I’m guessing he calls it a joke. Sounds like he needs to pull his own weight and grow up or maybe he needs to be “free”.
Ask to have another man and see if he’s still “down”. A brother husband might be super helpful to him 
7 Likes
It’s not a joke. He made that clear with his “only if you’re down” comment.
I’d start mentioning bringing another guy in. He’s out roaming, who’s taking care of you? But I’m petty. Adult version is talk about it. Either way, he’s not joking.
2 Likes
You deserve much better know your worth…
He is definitely testing the water and wants this…
Then turning it on u when u get upset… typical narcissistic move…
And why on earth are u doing all of that and he is living the life of Riley ?!?!?!?!
Where is he getting all his money from???
Sounds like he has zero respect for you, your marriage and ur home…
Make him pull his weight!
3 Likes
He probably already has a someone in mind cause he had been doing it behind your back he is just waiting for you to give consent so he can introduce y’all together
4 Likes
Mariah Foster Hickman sorry but what’s funny?
Maybe you need to start “joking” about an open marriage. Watch the look on his face.
It doesn’t sound like he’s adding anything to your work load and to your child’s life. If he’s showing how he acts and feels about you, believe him. You don’t have to be defensive and unsure of yourself. I would guess this has been projected on you by a negligent husband. Make a decision that benefits you and your child and allows him to go away and grow up.
Not being dramatic….Actually not taking this seriously enough. You’re not in “different phases of your life”, he’s being a total loser and leaving you with all the responsibility and then he has the audacity to basically tell you he wants to cheat on you, but then somehow makes you feel bad “because you’re not ok with it”. Wow, just wow. Do not compromise your morals for this man or anyone else. Maintain your dignity, boundaries and self respect. He needs to help out in some way, and stop making “jokes” that hurt you. Let him know how you feel and that he can either rise to your level or figure out how to provide for his own bad habits. Stop enabling his garbage behavior.
he’s not joking… he’s testing the water to see where you sit with the possibility…
It’s on his mind ! Maybe he’s even cheating. Once it’s on a man’s mind it will only get worse. I would reexamine my relationship with this man. He obviously is not in love or he wouldn’t want anyone else. If I were in your shoes I would pack up and never return. Know your worth and don’t take this kind of worthless relationship. Find someone that only wants you
Start making jokes about adding another man 
9 Likes
He isn’t joking and most likely already cheating if he’s in the bars and don’t pay no bills
He’s definitely already sleeping with other women, in my opinion. 
Why else would he mention it all the time? He wants you to say yes and then be like cool I know a woman that’s down for it 
I would take my kid and leave his ass! You are already doing it by yourself anyways, all while he’s out doing God knows what with whoever he pleases!
I wouldn’t take it as a joke, I had an ex ask me to urinate on him at least twice a week and claim it’s a joke but after a while it’s clear it isn’t and he’s just trying to wear you down
I would tell him that what this relationship needs is a man. He’s not cutting it
You and your children are worth more than what he’s giving.
Tell him it’s time for him to step up his game.
You are giving him permission to disrespect you and your family. He’s not going to magically be a good husband
Triads and thruples work for some people 
Nope I wouldn’t like it either. I wouldn’t b doing everything either while he’s out doing what he wants um nope
He wants to have a threesome and he’s already picked out someone he’s just waiting for you to say yes and no he wasn’t joking
He is serious, and crazy. That’s not a committed relationship!
He’s definitely not joking. I could see it as a joke if it was said once in a situation that fit the comment (I’d still be hurt by it) but to say it multiple times means there’s seriousness to it. This would be a deal breaker for me. Especially if he’s going out and hanging out in bars on the regular. In my opinion, bars are bad news (again my opinion, I know everyone has their own views).
3 Likes