Im in the same boat my situation may be different bc hes 14 yrs older than me but between the kids work and home responsibilities our love life has kind of fizzled. He’s still affectionate though. Maybe you should let him know how important these things are to you. I let mine know and he told me how hes feeling and we’re gonna work on things. I hope you two make it relationships are hard work.
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It can be so many things! Can be a chemical imbalance , ie the brain, depression, hormones, serotonin, many things in this respect which requires a doctor visit.
Can be a communication thing. What’s going on in his head? Is he happy in his life? In the home? In his family?
How’s work? Is it full filling? Is he stagnant?
Is he jacking off more and because of that he doesn’t have the drive to be physical with you? It’s easier to bust his own nutt than to put in the work to get you off too. It can simply come down to laziness and nothing more.
It can be something so simple! It means absolutely nothing to him and it’s easy for him to dismiss like he is doing now because he sees no issue. He loves you, you do have sex, he sees no problem. He is satisfied!!! His needs are met. So he doesn’t see a problem.
Is the lack of actual sex, you getting off, the sensual physical sex of expressing you love the issue here? Is it the only issue here for you in your marriage? Or are there other problems for you too?
Try understanding where he’s coming from and stop piling the pressure on.
I say get a big bottle of wine and get naked. Two glasses of wine and you will be … like bunny rabbits
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He’s either suffering from depression or he’s seeing someone. That isn’t normal.
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Talk to him. Find out what he’s feeling if he shuts you down, stay patient, but persistent. Make sure you let him know that his feelings are important to you… Men are so full of pride sometimes that they are afraid to tell you how they feel… Relationships are hard… I hope things work out. I am sending prayers and good vibes your way!
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You keep asking what can YOU do to make things better. You aren’t in this marriage alone. He has to make an effort, too
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Maybe try spicing it up and put on some lingerie or dress up as on of his fantasies.
If he won’t talk to you or open up than take the kids and leave for awhile. Either that or tell him your considering a divorce. He’s a big boy and needs to man up period.
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Sorry to say but I recently felt the same way in my relationship. There’s honestly nothing you can do. & it’s rare that a man will turn down his wife unless he’s cheating or just not in love with you anymore.
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Real talk: he may have chosen to give up a physical marriage but you have not and he doesn’t get to make that choice for you. He’s going to make his choices and you are going to make yours.
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I’d tell him while he may like going without and be happy living that way, he cannot force you to like it or live that way. He can talk, go to the Dr, go to therapy, or go to divorce court. That’s how serious this is. No matter if this IS Erectile Dysfunction, his hands and mouth still work. I bet he is seeing someone else.
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If my husband rejects me i will immediately see a red flag… find out whats going on before its to late.
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Id be worried. I have been with my husband 10 1/2 years married 3 1/2 and we are still crazy about eachother. He tells me every day that I’m his goddess and for me he would do just about anything for. We have a 7 yearold son together and I have 2 teenagers from a previous relationship. Maybe a marriage counselor could help?
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“He shouldn’t have to keep showing his affection” 
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He sounds depressed in my opinion. I’ve noticed when men get depressed they tend to pull away. Plus you mentioned him not wanting to be as sexually active as y’all use to be is another sign. Just because they don’t want sex doesn’t automatically scream cheating or anything bad. They’re allowed to say no just like we are. When depressed people in general tend to become uninterested in activities they use to like to do and such including sex.
I haven’t read all the comments but see if he’ll get his testosterone levels checked.
Probably addicted to porn
This would go a whole diff way and more sympathetic if it was a woman saying no to her husband
… y’all wrong…doesn’t mean he’s cheating or involved with someone else at all…
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You get what you settle for. Either accept this is all you’ll get from him, or tell him that he isn’t meeting your needs, give him the opportunity to change (he won’t), and if (when) nothing has improved…find someone who will happily meet your needs. My personal opinion…either there’s an underlying medical condition that’s diminishing his sex drive. OR…he’s getting it elsewhere. And it’s not just physical. Seems like there’s a mental/ emotional connection between them. The only reason for him to not want his wife touching him is if it makes him feel like he’s being unfaithful to HER. Personally I would Not listen to those suggestions recommending you get all done up, buy something sexy, plan a surprise date night etc. It’s gonna hurt if you do all that and still get rejected. You don’t wanna spend the rest of your life feeling unwanted, undesired, lonely etc. I’d start preparing my head and my heart for letting him go. Kinda sounds like he’s already done so with you. Know your worth. Don’t settle for half-assed love and affection.
Mine did this 2. He’s was a porn addict n also screwing his co-worker.
Bottle of wine for you, glass of what he likes and some oral to get him in the mood. If not. He might be cheating or he might have ED. Some men get it early
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Dress up get some around the bed shoes if that don’t work baby I’m sorry he’s already out the house playing or u just not doing it for him no more … send a freak text in the room with him … idk get fun seem like y’all lose y’all light
You can’t assume he’s cheating. Dr. Visit first, blood tests, depression, ED, etc checked. He may be embarrassed to tell you. I went to the Dr with my husband, he wouldn’t let me stay in the room, he was devastated. I’d start there,
Support him. He might me depressed or stressed. Realize that it’s on him and is not a reflection of your worth.
You guys need to go see a marriage counselor. Hopefully he’s willing to do that. There’s definitely some red flags right there they need to be addressed.
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You had a child, he considers you a mother, not a wife. Been there, experienced that.
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I ended up leaving my marriage due to similar situation. If he won’t even try and just has a million excuses then why stay? If it’s a medical reason then there are other ways to be intimate if he really wanted to. If he doesn’t even try why should you be unhappy? Life is too short to give up what you want and makes you feel good. I made myself miserable thinking something was wrong with me and he wasn’t attracted to me, I just couldn’t keep living like I was his roommate.
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Make him a doctors appointment. I have the same issue. Not so much rejection but only getting it 2 maybe 3 times a month. My husbands lack of desire is due to medical issues. It’s hard to not just assume the worst but try not to. I’d start with doctor and go from there. Sending good vibes your way, momma.
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Dr visit to have some things checked out. Is he working a lot of hours? I know when my husband works an off shift or a lot of hours he tends to be more tired and not as affectionate
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Alpha female his ass…don’t ask you tell
My husband got like this we talked about it come to find out his depression was getting bad and he was so stressed over whelmed with work everything so I got him help supported him and talked with him backed off gave him space but was always there when he needed it and now 6 months later it’s getting better he still has his days but he’s so much happier knowing I have his back ya it bugged me at first I have a high sex drive but once I knew what the issue was that’s the last thing I cared about my focus was showing how important he was and to cheer him up
Ask him if he wants a divorce? Tell him either you both seek help - or that will happen.
My boyfriend still shows me affection. He tells me he loves me and says I’m his world. I would be upset if he did this to me