My husband left me out of the blue: Advice?

Good luck god bless you jen

You need to get a protective order for your kids. You need to file for divorce. You should have the second he hurt your 6 year old. Period. He’s worthless. Move on. Get a lawyer. File for divorce now, but know it probably won’t get finalized until after you give birth. In some states your husband is automatically added to the birth certificate. Seriously, get a lawyer, stop talking to him. You don’t have to until the baby is born. All communication should be through text and through your lawyer.

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He will automatically be put on birth certificate even if no signature since legally married. Even if you’re married & pregnant by someone else your legal husband would be named as that child’s father also .

Be thankful hes gone. You owe him nothing.

Talk to an attorney ASAP!!

Count your blessings fix your crown and do it moving sis💜

Well it’s a cold cruel world are young lady

First of all i kinda no what your going through. We are from Mississippi laws are so different from state to state if i where you id go see a lawyer usally first visit free find a good one ask around you want one thats like a bulldog lol not scared to be thrown in jail for fighting for you we went to two the first one was like all coustody battles are the same no there not ! The second one we loved to death yes she has be thrown in jail several times fightijng for babies and there rights lol we love her so much we where invited hto her wedding we became good friends and she sat us up with a easy payment plan. Her is our story im the Nanny (grandma) lol my daughter and only grandaughter at the time are very close we lived not even a mile apart. My. Daughter done everything cut grass took out garbage fixed her ex plate carried it to him,laid his clothes out waited on him hand and foot. We had just got back from vacation in the mountains i never seen them argue which i know everyone dose lol but right after that he went to work kissed her and the baby bye told them he loved them and never came back home. We all was scared everyone was out looking for him even his family well few days later he calls he ran off with a crack head and im sure he was using to we all knew the girl she had worked with us all even shared a office with my daughter and my daughter had carried her to drug court few times trying to help her stay clean didnt work she been arrested several times . Skipping a head Mississippi laws dont care about there kids its sicking but fast forward my daughter has full coustody and he signed his rights away he still has to pay child support to but hasnt. The judge said the baby never has to see him agin but not before she got physically hurt which should have never happen to began with but find out any info on his new women and on him look up arrest records, look on there fb account for any partying ect… make copys , when he calls record it. Ect… then when baby is borned go file for tempory custody cause in Mississippi if you dont he can come kidnap baby and you dont have a right unless you file for temporary first good luck

I apologize to any offended by my comments. I do not apologize for my comments. I do not care for using the court as a weapon. I am not the only one that raised my children. General man bashing is absolute crap.

I’m feeling so sorry for you right now, but did he ever ask you to move to Texas with him during the better days ? Marriage is a 2 way street. Get some kind of education to help you make a good living for you and your kids. I’ll just :pray:for you. You sure don’t want someone who doesn’t want to be with you and he may just do the same thing to the lady he is with right now. If you do not go to church, go as you will meet all kinds of wonderful friends there who will be by your side when you give birth. Remember, God is always with you.

Soo…what’s the question really? Yea he’s a low life piece of shit. File for full custody after your baby is born. Keep proof of everything that he is an unreliable parent and shouldn’t be allowed to have rights to this child.
Honestly you’re lucky that he left instead of putting you through alot more

Sounds like you better raise your kids and stay away from men and quit having babies cause you have a track record of picking dirt bags

Coming from an old single mom here. He doesn’t have a snowballs chance in hell of getting custody. Block him. He’s a cheater. You will never, ever trust him! Why would you want a child abuser in your life? Maybe now, you could get your baby back! Those kids should be your priority…not some loser that abuses kids and cheats!

Sounds to me like you already know what to do. Get custody of that baby and keep him out of your life you don’t need a loser like that

Hands down be done with him… hes diffenetly a LOSER!!

Move away from him… Far away were he domt know were your at before your baby is born!Hes a man slut and he disrespected you and left you while u are pregnant with his baby…He will never change and always treat you this way.There are trillions of ppl in thos world why do u want ome that treats you like shit… Leave and never look back.

Get a lawyer now , file for divorce and forget the bastard. You don’t want him near your kids .

All men are like this any female that puts herself out its always in the back of ur mind when this slutbag gonna abandon me recover and stay single don’t open ur door again that’s my advice

Focus on being the best momma possible, put nobody before those kids they didn’t asked to be here. Block him!! Move to another side of town if possible. File for divorce. Don’t list him on the birth certificate, -father unknown- because you really didn’t know him anyway, tell him you had a miscarriage due to all the stress. Prove to the state you’re a good mother that can and wants to protect her children and won’t subject them to danger. Good luck.

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Forget about him don’t worry what he is doi g get your life streight file All necessary papers in court and hope he stays in NY or Texas maybe the laws and judges are different out there and they will teach him some responsibility also file papers fog order of protection

I’m sorry but coming on here and asking for advice isn’t gonna change nothing the moment you lost your son because of him should’ve been the end for him. No man should ever come first before your child. I’m no one to judge but that should’ve been an eye opener especially if you already had kids with someone else

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Don’t know the law for NY but you don’t have to put him on the birth certificate married or not you don’t have to. You don’t owe that man a thing you need to file for a divorce get custody of your child & don’t let him come to the hospital cause it’s very disrespectful of him to ask if his now Fiancé to be there after he left you with no warning what so ever

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JUST BE FINISHED WITH HIM! He has proven to be dangerous, and unfaithful! He will NOT get custody of your baby. Close ALL contact with him, and realize you are MUCH better off without him, period. Cut the ties, now, for the better of yourself and your children.

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Dont bother with him. I feel like it will be trouble and problems. Personally I would focus on working saving money and on the kids you have. God will send you someone worthy. Your kids will love you and understand , probably be thankful you didnt allow this coming in and out of their lives.

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Wtf would you want this pos in your and your children’s life? I am completely baffled! There’s no way in hell he’d be anywhere around my children. He’s caused you to lose one already! That should be enough for you to move tf on.

You are the mom…and as the mom you jave that right to keep the baby and request everything to be court ordered restraining order, birth certificate, child support, etc…even in hospital you can request security not to let him in even if he is the dad just say your fear for safety of the baby and your self…they should help!

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Keep all records of everything! Text messages, calls/record them! & anything else when he reaches out! I believe if he has charges in NY he will not even show up to court so you’ll win! And do what you feel is safe for your baby! As sad as you being alone is maybe it’s for the best that he left you. You don’t deserve to be treated like that and neither do your babies! I definitely would file for a divorce and put a restraining order on him/protective order just in case he tries to show up. You do not owe him anything!!! Prayers

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Not unfair or unreasonable AT ALL and the very fact that you’re considerate enough to ask that, and really look at this objectively, proves that. From here on out - do you. And your kids. 100% and have him beg for his livelihood back. The livelihood he made for himself and stole from you. Proud of you, you sound strong. Hang in there and always always do you until somebody has something to offer you. He has nothing to offer but pain and drama and negativity- he’s already proven his worth. If he can’t add something to your life vs take, I wouldn’t even give him another thought nor take him back either if it ever came down to that.

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If someone belted MY child I wouldn’t have them anywhere near me or any of my kids again. Sounds like a waste of space that’s only interested in himself and his new bit. If he ain’t interested in the child your carrying then don’t even bother with him, cut ties and do what’s best for your kids and yourself

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If he has pending charges he’s not coming back for anything and he found an escape a.k.a. new girlfriend before he left. He will cause a mess there like he did with you and escape again. Which I’m sure is what he did with his first baby mama. Divorce, don’t worry he’s not coming back and get your other child back faster. Sounds like the trash took its self out. And no I wouldn’t let him or her come. Lol why does he want to. Obviously he runs from his babies. It’s just a way to keep you in his life.

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Get a divorce lawyer quite complaining get on with your life you and your children do not need this creep in your lives

Legally if he proves paternity he can be added to the birth certificate whether you like it or not. File for divorce. File for any support you can get from him and from the state. File for custody. Let him be gone. Celebrate your freedom and learn to live independently. Your kids only have you. Dont rely on anyone else to do your job :heart:

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He set you free when he walked out the door. You have every right to divorce and move on and focus on your children. Don’t ever put a man before them, please. Get some support from a local church. There’s help out there.

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If he was abusive and made you lose one child (actually why didnt they take the others?) Why did you get pregnant by him? Why didnt you divorced him? I’m sorry but it sounds like you are part of the problem too! If you lost your child and stayed with the abuser you picked a man over your child!

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I’d be filing for divorce, a restraining order, and keep all the threats he sent you as proof that his unfit. Just in case he tries to pull bs. I’m petty, and would send the abuse record he has to his new gf. Even proof that his married, and state his refusing to divorce you. If he tries to marry someone else while you guys are still married, then you can get him for fraud. You can’t be married to multiple people in different states.

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Dont put him on that birthcert. Later in life you may let him in to child’s life but you definitely don’t owe that man anything at the momemt. Dangerous and unfaithful… no good! And no way he will get custody. I’d start the divorce process asap.

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Put him on the birthcerificate,file for divorce, get child support, get a protection order, save EVERY conversation u have with him, keep a journal what time he call what day and month make sure the visits are supervised with someone of your choice, and a place not your home ANd Drop this person at the curb hes a mess go on with your life

He’s an adult and has chosen this path. Focus on you, pregnancy and children. Get child support once baby born. Move forward.

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To be honest if he is up in charges for hurting YOUR CHILD … child services will take that baby from bith of ya for even having him around . Why would you even try to keep around if he hurt your kid ?
Him leaving is a blessing . Cut ALL contact.

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Ex parte asap… and if you keep his name off the birth certificate which I would highly recommend, he can get charged with kidnapping if he does take that baby. He probably wont get any rights or visitation if hes abusive, has a pendimg charge, has already threatened to take that baby, and more or less abandoned that baby. Cut ties, move to a new location and never look back.

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Walk away and file through DOR for wage garnished child support payments.

You have to put him on the bc if you want to go to court for custody or child support. If you dont want him in yours and your kids life it has to be all in no contact no names on bc no court no nothing.

I dont know what state your in but here you have to put your husbands name on the birth certificate no matter what. Cuz your married. So find out those laws in your state first

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Sounds like the best thing he could have done was leave, it should be easier for you to get your 6 yr old now.

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He’s abusive and doesn’t deserve to be around children at all.

Nope that won’t happen i would get a pfa stalking an harassment to keep him away till i get him om court

Stay single and take care of your kids. Be glad he is gone. Always put your kids first no matter what. Have no contact with him and move on.

Get your tubes tied, keep all records, texts etc…
Ignore him his phone calls and requests unless they happen to be court orders.
I’m blown away you would even want him in your life? Don’t bring another man into your home to possibly abuse your children.

Why the hell did you stay with him after he “belted” your son?!:face_with_symbols_over_mouth:
Sounds like you should be blamed for some of it!

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Get divorced get child support and move on he’s not worth it

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1st file for divorce ASAP. 2nd block him on social media. 3rd change your phone number and if possible move. Make yourself hard to find.

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Girl, don’t prolong the inevitable, accept it and move on.

You don’t an ass like that in your life, try very hard to move on without him, good luck.

Sounds like theres a lot of growing up to do w both of yall…

Omg
Where is the punctuation :woman_shrugging:t3:

Divorce and do not put him on the birth certificate.

Also don’t let him see kids unless supervised by DSS

You made a mistake falling fall this creep get rid of him

Pack up and leave . Get divorced and tell them to hide your address do to abuse. Have them put a no contact order in the divorce agreement .

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In our state, if you have a child removed from the home for abuse the department of human services will remove all children from your care (newborns are removed from your care in the hospital) until you’ve successfully worked a reunification plan that consists of court ordered standards (parenting classes, visitation orders, anger management, drug screens, and anything else deemed needed by DHS and a judge) to prove you are fit to parent… sounds like if you don’t already have a plan like that in place by court order you should
Voluntarily enroll yourself in monitored parenting classes, and some sort of counseling to be able to show the powers that be that you are “fixing” you since he’s been gone! I wouldn’t put a name on the birth certificate; it’ll buy you time to file a case on him! He will have to pay to establish paternity but be aware that each state has laws regarding custody and visitation and they do not become forfeit based on child support; those are two separate legal issues!! Get an attorney!!! So, you can’t stop him from
Seeing the baby once he has established paternity and a court ordered visitation unless you go back to court and file a modification for some real reason (safety concerns for the child etc). Before baby is born I’d file a protective order based on his physical abuse of your son removed from your home and anything else you can prove! File for divorce where you live and claim the reason as adultery and abandonment. This establishes jurisdiction in your county courts and he will have to travel to you for court.

I don’t understand what advice you need here? He left you which is a good thing for you — you are finally free of him. Therefore you get a divorce, you don’t put his name on the birth certificate and you file a restraining order since he was not only abusive to you but he was abusive to your CHILDREN.

You delete him on all social media. Don’t interact with him. Don’t entertain his behavior unless you really want to relive the same behaviors and put your children through hell again.

If any of his stuff is on your house you bring that to the cops when you file for that restraining order.

If his name is on the place you live in, you move. If your name is on the contract, you buy out of it.

You do everything you can to SAVE yourself but most importantly you do everything you can to SAVE your children.

You’re definitely in the right to divorce him and do whatever you can to protect your new baby and your children. You divorcing your husband might even help you get closer to getting your son back. You need to keep a record of the threats he’s making and you need to consult as many professionals as possible to help you figure out your next step. Especially CPS and a lawyer. If you can’t afford a lawyer, if you have close family who could help, then ask if they can help you get one. I had to get a loan in order to pay for my lawyer. They are not cheap. If that’s not possible then look into a Legal Aide program near you. It’ll take them forever to get to you though, so unless you can get a lawyer asap, file for divorce on your own. It’ll cost money, but there’s a possibility you can get him to pay for it, just mention you’ll have a hard time paying for it and they should take care of it for you. Just remember you are doing the right thing, get as much help from as many people as you can, and God bless you and your family.

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If I were in your situation, this is what I would do. Do not ask for his address.
Cut off all communication with him. ALL COMMUNICATION.
Go to a lawyer, file for divorce stating he left you, moved somewhere in Texas, and you don’t know where he is. ( technically true). The court will grant you a divorce based on desertion.
Im not sure I’d even tell my lawyer I was even pregnant. Odds are you are never going to get any child support anyway. The laws are lax and they have to be a huge amount behind before the courts will step in to even try to collect and don’t think he’s going to jail over it.
So odds are you will see very little money in return for giving him visitation to the baby. And to get child support, the courts will grant him visitation, and you won’t be able to control who he brings around the baby.
I would have it put in my divorce papers that I am going back to my maiden name. This way when your baby is born, list the father as unknown, and the baby’s last name will be your maiden name.
And tell NO ONE that you are doing any of this.
No one! Especially not your soon to be ex husband.
To get visitation he will have to rack up a ton of lawyers fees, plus start paying child support and no man is going to do that.
Custody? That’s laughable. Even more lawyers fees for him. As long as you are a good mom and keep your baby safe, he can’t. He DESERTED you. And that baby. Awfully hard to look like a good dad in court after that.
Also, honey, I would join some abuse support groups here on Facebook. It sounds like you have a lot of healing to do. These groups can help you emotionally while you are going through all of this. These will be women who are going through ( and have made it through) the same things you are going to go through.

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I wouldnt allow him there and start out fresh. Fight for custody, he sounds like he was abusive and i wouldny grant him a divorce i would make life hell for him. Thats just me though , hes a POS fir what hes done. I dont think your wrong for that, he cant take care of his own children yet leaves his family to take care of another woman child and forgets about the ones hes created and the emotional turmoil hes cause those kids. Hes a POS.

Thank god he left you because he sounds like a total POS! It’s probably the best thing he ever did for you. I’m not going to bash you, but your kids come first. He clearly does not want to be a father when he doesn’t even take care of his own son. So I wouldn’t worry about that. And you absolutely should not allow him at the hospital. I wouldn’t speak to him or update him on the pregnant either. What a douche, I’m sorry. Stay strong :broken_heart:

You and your baby come first. If you know what town he’s in, after the baby is born hit him where it hurts…in his wallet. If you have to go to social services, tell them where he is. They will make sure he steps up and takes responsibility. They have the law on their side and know exactly what to do. Meantime, see about going to WIC (women, infants and children) they can help you with prenatal care, and when the baby comes, they will give you vouchers for formula and other essentials for you and your baby. He will discover that liars and deadbeat dad’s don’t get far in life. Good luck and never be afraid to get the assistance you need.

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Go with your gut. You keep saying “I really don’t think we’d be safe with him” so…that should be your answer. Focus on the kid you lost, fuck the douche that doesn’t want to be with you. He can’t treat you with respect then he doesn’t get any either

Sorry but I can’t get past the fact you stayed with someone who abused your child and who had your child removed… all of this was on YOU for not seeing the red flags :woman_shrugging:t3: no excuse tbh… like seriously you gotta be immature, naive and desperate to stay with someone who abused YOUR child, not theirs, yours. You had every say in the matter, it was pretty damn obvious he would pull this shit considering he’s an absent and deadbeat to his blood son AND abused your child.

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U know it saddens me to text what u about to read…u wrote things that for any other person would warning signs and red lights,they took ur son because he beat him he doesn’t take care of his other child and u didn’t use protection… Question? where u that desperate to allow this to happen and then u come out pregnant… Really…well let me tell u about this type of man he’s a sick fuck u probably met him online. He’s a predator and a narcissist and u probably have no one to stand up to him…u see my daughter went threw something similar but she lost the baby and the family hide alot of the abuse…but u know God is good.Im retired Marine and I detest violence…one day I run into my daughter and she had a black eye…like all women u lie…I went to my car a cried like a baby. Wife finally told told the truth… bottom line the mother fucker u dealing with is going to keep messing with until someone rips off his head and shits down his neck…and trust me u will never see him again. Sorry but I hate men who abuse familys…

get a gun and stop whining

You let him hit your kid so you are a Moron.

He’s a pathetic guy with small dick syndrome

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Get the divorce going on. If you do it now before showing you can get away with claiming not pregnant in the papers. That way a parenting plan isn’t required. Get divorced asap and don’t bother with him at ALL. He wants to marry that chick then let him. You deserve so much more and to the ladies being judgemental bitches, you obviously haven’t experienced abuse like this. So back the hell off. She’s pregnant and having a hard enough time as it is. You don’t kick others when they’re down. She was asking for advice!

Fuck him he’s a dick