I need help. Can you please post this anonymously? I went out last night for a few hours to get drinks with my girlfriends. I’m a stay at home mom so I don’t get out much. My husband said he would watch our kids, A two and a half year old and a 4 month old. The plan was that my that my husband was going to drive me there and bring the kids to pick me up when I was done. At around 11 o’clock I called him to pick me up. The bar is about 20 minutes away from our house. When he showed up he only had our two year old. When I asked where my baby was he said he left him home sleeping. I was LIVID! I asked why he would even think that was okay and he got mad at me and told me he didn’t do anything wrong and I was being ungrateful that he watched our kids for me and now i was getting mad at him for leaving our sleeping son at home. When I told him no one would think that was okay he said “thank you for your opinion” and I just stayed silent the rest of the car ride home and ran inside when he got home and our son was sleeping on the bed. He was fine but STILL! I’ve had issues with him before. I’ve had to literally have arguments with him about cutting grapes for our daughter when she was 1 instead of giving them to her whole. It made me scared to leave him alone with her because I was afraid I’d get a call that she choked to death. He has no logic or awareness with our children safety which is a reason I haven’t gotten a night job. I literally do not trust him with our kids. And whenever I approach him about it he turns it around on me and gets mad. But this issue last night really freaked me out and I need to know if I’m over reacting or not. We haven’t spoken today. And I’m not sure what to do. He’s 42 years old too so he doesn’t have the excuse of age and ignorance. I just need help….i feel like I can’t ever leave my kids with him. Am I over reacting?
Whom is watching your kids while you sleep?
Thats an absolute no. And if you allow it to possibly happen again, the court will see you as a danger too.
That’s danger to your child
You aren’t overreacting. What he did is actually illegal. 
He could most definitely get a neglect charge and lose his rights doing that stuff. He’s in the wrong and if you don’t trust him with your kids, then you should not be with him
Definitely not over reacting what if the baby rolled off the bed
Any man who says they’re watching or babysitting their own fucking kids is a problem.
Leave him now. Call the police and file a report. Hire a lawyer.
No no no no. Get him gone.
No your not. I would be furious. Anything could have happened while y’all were gone
No no no! My kids don’t even get left to put the rubbish out (I live on 2nd floor flat)
Anything ANYTHING could have happened while y’all were gone for damn near an hour.
Ummmm nope screw that I’d tell him to kick rocks seeya bubye
Um the house could’ve burned to the ground with your baby inside. Someone could’ve broken in and kidnapped the baby. Your husband is in the wrong. You never leave a child home alone no matter the reason.
If your house is only 20 mins why didn’t you get a taxi…you knew he was home alone with the children and expected him to get them out of bed to pick you up…sorry no way
That’s so wrong …omg… I’d snap… Anything can happen in 40 mins … Wow… And plus that’s illegal isn’t it …
Husband??? What a joke.
Yikes!! That’s dangerous. What if he had an accident, etc. maybe point that out to him ??
You never leave a child alone.
I’m sorry but why do men say that…I watched your kids for you…hello they’re yours too! Smh
Monte Zbo Zehender bruh, and infant was left home alone for at least 40 minutes, possibly more. That’s messed up and no where near the same as an adult asleep at home.
I’m pretty sure that’s illegal and neglect. Not okay.
Maybe you should stay home next time instead of going out drinking! This needs to be reported to CPS.
Leave him before he causes you to lose your kids
Nope not ok. You would lose your children if anything happened. Sole custody, supervised visits, only. Try and get proof of these things… via text or note, etc
you aren’t over reacting at all
Sometimes I wonder if these questions are fake, they have to be with this load of crud. You cannot possibly be that stupid … my advice for you both is take a basic parenting class.
I get you don’t get to go out and wanted time out… that’s fine. But if you feel that strongly about him not watching the kids and the issues in past, then why leave them? Maybe get a babysitter you trust.
I would be livid. I think sometimes we don’t let the men take care of the children enough so they don’t know how.
I know I wouldn’t leave them with him
I personally would’ve caught a taxi home so he didn’t have to wake the kids up at all…
No he left the kid alone for 40 minutes, what if there was an accident and everyone in the car was put in the hospital?
Wow! Not a bright husband.
I’d leave him if that was my situation there is never a reason to leave a 4 month old alone period
It’s illegal and grounds for removal if it continues
Definitely not overreacting.
Anything can happen at any time. It is never safe to leave small children alone, whether they’re asleep or not.
No not at all! Those are big safety concerns. Also the fact he is invaliding your concerns.
Dont go out. Its not worth it.
Nope. I would never leave him with them again.
Crazzy.what.if.???
Wow that’s really not ok 
You’re not overreacting. The fact you should be greatful for him watching his own kids is absolutely disgusting. I’d leave him by himself
Ok. So he was wrong, but what did you expect out of him? I feel like you would’ve been pissed if he had them both. You were both wrong
First off that’s illegal and second off WTH
Just let him know that if something were to happen to them he would be going to prison for negligence. First of all he isn’t watching them he is being a parent and a terrible one at that. Next time hire a babysitter since he is unfit to be a responsible parent.
Not over reacting, that’s, and idk technical legal terms, but child endangerment and negligence, and they can be taken away from him. NOT ok, running a casserole next door real quick is one thing, but LEAVING?! Hell no.
I would be livid myself. I would have gone off on him big time.
Seems harmless but what if there’s a house fire etc. absolutely a no.
A 4 month old on the best for 40 min he wouldn’t be walking back in my hosie
Definitely not overreacting
I would never leave the kids home alone with him. That is something that can get your kids taken. But also. You deserve to go out and have time for yourself. Just leave the kids with someone you trust.
I’d be pissed! My kiddos are 8 and 10 and my fiance and I barely started leaving them home alone for 10mins when he leaves for work and I get home from work. And I still tell them both they can’t eat when an adult isn’t home, don’t answer the door for anyone if it’s dad or myself we have a key, and my 10yo has a cell phone and knows to call 911.
You’re in the right. He’s incompetent. Maybe he needs a parenting class?? My ex and his family are the same way. I’m glad my kids are safe from them now.
Stop second guessing yourself. He knows better. Who doesn’t know you don’t leave a baby alone
If you don’t trust him with your kids then why would you even stay with him is the real question? You really need to think about why are you still with him. Don’t stay just because y’all got kids together. Your children come first and foremost especially their safety. You’re definitely not overreacting cause leaving a 4 month old baby alone is dangerous the baby can probably roll over at that point. Your husband is a very irresponsible person who should never be left with your children alone unless there’s supervision around.
It’s illegal in my state!
It sucks to wake a baby but many things could happen in 40 minutes. I’d grabbed an uber. If yall got into a wreck nobody would know baby was alone.
Maybe a divorce is needed? Is someone you can’t trust your children with REALLY someone you want to be married to??
You’re not overreacting that’s a cps case all day if something would’ve happened, he’s definitely not fit to be around the baby at all
If you haven’t yet… Leave him.
Mama. You plainly and clearly said you do not trust him with your kids and that should be enough to leave. What use is a Father who can’t take care of his children? I know that’s harsh but legally if you are married to him and something happens to you, he would have to take care of them himself. If you are separated you can entrust them to someone more capable. Food for thought. Hopefully nothing happens to you.
I’d leave him tbh. 
Not over reacting at all. You had every right to be that way.
If you can’t trust him then why are you still with him??? And if you clearly felt like you couldn’t trust him alone with your kids why did u think it was okay to go out for drinks and leave him in charge??? None of this makes any sense, anyone who leaves a baby home unattended shouldn’t be allowed to be left alone with children it’s just common sense! And you stated you have never felt like you could trust him alone with your children so u should of left him along time ago
omfg what if someone broke in or house on fire, holy crap that’s dangerous
He wouldn’t be stepping foot back in the house if that was me, anything could of happened
I wouldn’t trust him with my baby again
You know you can’t trust him anymore!!! Have your friends to come over and drink with you.
Leave him!!! You children can be taken away from you for that!!! He does not deserve to be a father!!!
He definitely shouldn’t have left the baby alone but honestly you should also have taken a cab home. That’s very late to be taking 2 children out at night.
I’d be mad too! Maybe explain to him about sids and what if the house caught on fire while he was gone. Sometimes some men just don’t think stuff is a big deal until u break it down for them
If you don’t trust him with the kids, you need to leave. That’s neglect.
Definitely not ok ! If you cannot trust his own children with him, that’s a huge red flag. Do you have other family supports ? Do not feel bad for wanting a night out. You’re entitled to down time also ! But that is grounds for childrens services to be involved. I would definitely sit him down and explain this, if he still argues I think it’s time from a break from the relationship and parenthood. He needs to take some parenting classes and grow up !
Oh no, he’d be gone.
Oof I would start looking for a lawyer. Stay at Home Moms 
Absolutely NOT ok. Especially since he was supposed to bring the KIDS to pick you up per your plan!
I wouldn’t be ok with it. But honestly my husband KNOWS better
i’d leave someone for that. imagine if there was a housefire god forbid. or burglars. or even baby just waking up and no one coming to them. the fact he hasn’t even apologised and tried to blame you. nope
You have ever right to be pissed. He would be packing his stuff and getting out. Anything could have happened in that short time span. I went to school with a girl who left her 3 at home all under age they burn up in a house fire. This is never ever ok at their ages
I’m 24 with a 4 Year Old and a 1 Year Old. I have common sense not to leave my kids unsupervised at all and to not give them grapes without cutting or pop corn without supervision.
He seriously needs a wake up call and I would be moving out for the kids safety. He obviously has no common sense about safety.
It’s one thing to see obvious red flags with our adult relationships but when it’s red flags that concern the safety of our children, that’s a completely different story. Open your eyes, sis. Best of luck 
- It’s not babysitting if you helped make them 2. Thats how you lose custody of your kids and go to jail for child endangerment
Google the laws in the state you live for the age a child can be left at home screenshot send it to him then do not leave him alone again
who in their right mind would leave a 4 month old baby on their own, anything could have happended! social work would be all over this if they knew. wouldnt be with someone acts like this! worrying behaviour
Never leave them alone
You shouldn’t have to ask hion…you’re instinct is right…might not b
Save your kids from him NOW !
My head is spinning. First he says you’re ungrateful for watching the kids for you??? He thinks he is doing you a favor by staying home with the kids??? A favor for you??? So when he is gone & you are “watching” the kids, are you doing him a favor??? Second, hell yes I would be pissed!!! So many things could go wrong leaving a child home alone. Does he not watch the news??? If you can’t trust him with the kids why are you with him???
My EX husband did this 
while I was working he left the baby at home to go out and find alcohol note I said ex
100% not overreacting. That is not ok under any circumstances.
Weaponized incompetence.
However, that’s too late to be bringing kids out. You should have taken a cab home or had your friends bring you home
Not ok. The house could have caught on fire. You could have been in an accident and who knows when or if you made it home.
Why didn’t your girlfriends bring you home? Your husband wouldn’t had reason to leave home. The two year old should be in bed also
If anyone found out and cops were called you would loose that child. Get charges for child abandonment and endangerment. This is t just being irresponsible dangerous and reckless this is a criminal act. Wow mama. You’re not over reacting at all. He has a problem! Like zero common sense or responsibility with children. That’s just crazy
It worries me you think you’re over reacting. You don’t do that, end of. I wouldn’t be leaving my kids with anyone, father or not who thinks that’s acceptable.
Mannnn!!! My first thought was to say leave him as well but if he were to get any shared custody, he’d be alone with them even more! At least til their older. Or document all of these things and start saving/planning!
Honest question: does he have a brain injury that he/you are not aware of? He may be lacking in logic if that is the case…
“I’m afraid to leave my kids with him” yet has another kid with him.
Even a 10 year old know not to leave a baby alone. Seems to me he did it so he wouldn’t have to watch them again. I know easier said than done because your a SAHM but I would leave him. He’s not trustworthy. 
He needs mental help