My husband lied to me about getting a bonus from work: Advice?

Money is one of the leading cause of divorce. You guys need to sit down and communicate.

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If there’s a shared pot and he worked overtime and earned the money sorry
Alot of you won’t agree here but that money is his tbh
IF he is putting into the shared pot
If not then that’s shady as ****

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Depends. Are you normally frivolous with money?

Is there a reason of why he’d lie. Do you tend to over spend maybe ? (Heck I know I do but if it’s my money to he hubby won’t usually complain :joy:) .

Oh hell no! Bills come first! And don’t ever lie to me!!! This is probably only one thing he’s lied about!!

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Not at all. Bills first.

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Or maybe he’s spending on his mistress who knows,just a thought.

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Yes you’re most definitely overreacting, he shouldn’t have kept his bonus a secret from you or lied but if you’re not behind on bills which your post seems to suggest your not then why are you so upset about him not giving you any of his hard earned money? You act like the world revolves around you and everything is yours which it’s not. You seem like your a control freak and you should be handed everything whether you’ve earned it or not.

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My guy get’s incentives and he ALWAYS makes sure the house is right before anything else. Gotta have food, lights, phone, a roof to sleep under and more! That is of the up most importance in our household. If y’all have kids that puts them at the very top of both of your list period! IMO

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I would have told mine to keep it and do something for himself. I already take all his money…

Maybe yours didn’t tell you because he wanted some mad money for himself. Both my hubby and I have our own pots and then the family one.

I love him but I need to know I can care for my kids with out without him otherwise I feel trapped and that makes me not like being married. Knowing I have choices makes me choose him everyday and I know if hell comes to pass he would break out his stash but I don’t expect him to give me every single dollar either :face_with_raised_eyebrow::heart:

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You need to speak with him about why he hid it.

My advice would also be to create a budget

I break down all my bills into weekly amounts, i either bpay these amount off the bill or keep it in a separate account

This way you know how much you actually have spare, and when bills come in, theres no need to worry as the money is there.

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Forget the bills they can be paid off.
Emergency stash is really important for everyone to have at this time.

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What else is he lying about?

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If it’s a bonus it’s technically money he didn’t " have before " yes you guys have bills but I assume you have income since on how you’re talking about money. With or without the bonus you guys paid your bills. It’s a bonus for him. Just leave it. Me and my husband split bills. We all pay the same. But if you’re solely dependent on him for income , maybe a little side job will help. Yes daycare is expensive but there are ALOT of recourse that ultimately make daycare very accessible. I don’t explain my money to my husband. Neither he does to me. We both have set things that we pay and it becomes a problem if we don’t pay those bills. But if we’re all paying , we’re all good. Never depend on a man for money. Life would be so beautiful if I was a stay at home mom but nope I can’t stand the thought of asking my husband for money to treat myself. I buy what I want when I want and pay for my share of bills

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Ummm. Just eww. My fiancé got a bonus Monday. Half is going to school supplies and school clothes. Other half is going in savings.

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Our rent overs everything. And we have our cell phones bill. We put 100.00 each for food. And the rest is his money. Just leave him alone.

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Honestly, maybe he’s trying to stash AwAy some money so that you guys have an emergency fund. Sorta like a out of mind out of sight thing.

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A way out from you, he’s getting his escape plan ready

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What ahole !! :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:
Rude as !

If there is no transparency then something is very wrong!

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I mean maybe he’s getting something for you as a surprise with it who knows idk

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Jerk is what he is!!:woman_shrugging:

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I’d let all the utilities get cut off and go to my mamas :rofl:

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Ladies, is 21st century please, is high time we start making our own money…oug, you can’t be angry forever because of someone’s son of money eish

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Hell No! He is a liar! Be done

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She’s says they needed to pay bills ! Reread … yuu don’t know their living situations… they could have kids ,animals ,major health issues any of them kids ,her , her husband or ,animals . They could need house stuff fixed , car payments n, etc . You guys have no clue their lives n ,why she’s upset . But telling her it’s he’s money ok it might be but , hospital bills ,school supplies n ,food add up . They could have a house payment ,etc etc ! But ,please let him keep it all to himself . Some I can see but ,all nope !! Stop saying it’s he’s so she shouldn’t be concerned or , be a money taker . Responsibility comes first I’m sorry . Bonus or ,not !!

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Any money he makes is yours and vise versa. You have a right to know.

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If everything is good allow him keep the bonus and get himself something nice but since y’all got problems he has to give u the bonus to pay the pending bills

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not ok at all… he should tell u

Omg I’m completely opposite haha its me not telling my husband because it’s extra money, it’s a bit of mad money, it shouldn’t go all to bills

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Time to talk not accuse

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A marriage is a partnership. Perhaps 3 accounts would fix the problem. One for paying bills and one each to save your allowances. This way everyone has money to call their own and spend any way they want without their spouses concern.

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Maybe through all the choas and stress. He might want to be able to do something for you guys or for you. Don’t be too harsh on him. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

You need to look at your husbands overall character. After all, you married him and know him more intimately than anybody else. Is he a good husband? Is he a good provider? Is he always truthful in character? If the answers are yes, give him the benefit of the doubt and have a conversation with him. Give him the opportunity to explain. But if you are already upset, then I can see why he withheld it and hasn’t told you.

Although I think it is important to discuss finances in a relationship. Do you work? How do your financially contribute? If you don’t, I think it is fine if he wants it for himself in some respect. If it is bills that are far behind that impact your family, absolutely he needs to figure it out.