There is 3rd hand smoke and it is real. I completely feel her on this and have struggled myself with my husband. The thing is, it is money being spent and his health is at stake. I don’t want to take care of a man who is sick because of his 100% COMPLETELY HIS CHOICE when he knows it is not appreciated or wanted. It is a gross habit and I agree with her completely on this. I have threatened divorce myself I feel so strongly. I love him and don’t want to leave, but it is serious; I feel strongly about it and I hate liars too. What else could he be lying about??!!
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Smh. U went to stay with your mother? You’re not mad because he lied. You’re mad about the cigarette smoke?
It might have been an electronic cig vape type thing 
My question I need answered first, did u date, marry this man and knew he smoked?
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People are saying grow up, and it’s not a big deal. Why? How do you know this isn’t a deal breaker in their relationship, everyone has them?
People defending him for smoking is bad enough, it’s a disgusting habit. But he is also lying about it. If you have trust issues this would be shattering.
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Help him quit verse running away and acting like a child. Grow up, your going to be a mom. You need to understand what it means to forgive and help each other through sickness and health. Those values use to mean something. Seeing you act the way you did is a big disappointment
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Something wrong with her nose, can’t she smell smoke in his breath or on his cloths! Something wrong there…
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Oh brother…are we being a little dramatic here. Now if you caught him with another woman I could see your hysteria but it was a cigarette. A bad habit I agree but not a reason to leave your husband…come on now. He probably lied to you to keep from you overreacting which doesn’t make it right but geez…look how you’re reacting. You can’t make him quit or bitch him into it, it’s something he needs to want to do. Be glad he’s not doing it at home. Grow up a bit and help him try to quit if he wants to. Or stay gone and find someone with worse habits. 
That’s why he didn’t tell you…he didn’t want to deal with all that.
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Aside from the lying your having a child with him. Get over it such a small thing. Talk to him about it communication is always the way not running from the problem
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As a smoker who’s quit numerous times, it’s really hard. Maybe he ‘fell off the wagon’ and felt bad because you were so proud when he quit. Maybe ask him if he wants to quit, he probably does but might need support again.
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Did you ever give thought to, he does it at work for extra breaks and they don’t question it because he takes a puff here and there… it’s proven people who smoke get to go outside a hell of a lot more than those who don’t.
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Not defending him for smoking or even worse which is lying but a little over dramatic by going to your moms. Like are you thinking of literally leaving him over it? Your better off having a conversation with him letting him know you seen him and talk about it with him. Tell him how it made you feel etc… talk to him
My bf smokes, I hate cig smoke too, he has tried to quit a couple times but ends up going back because of stress. He most likely is stressed at work, or by your actions stressed because of you. If you want him to quit don’t run like a coward when a problem occurs or blow up about him smoking a cig or blow up about anything in general. What you need to do is try and help him keep his stress levels down, if his job is stressing him out to the point smoking is what is keeping him sane so he doesn’t go off on someone and lose his job then give him boundaries with the smoking, like tell him only smoke at work or if he absolutely has to smoke when he’s home he goes outside. Simple. Don’t run from small issues in the marriage like that. Pretty sure he didn’t want to say anything to you because he know you’d run. Running from problems shows you yourself aren’t loyal to the relationship because you can easily run away. You need to go back and apologize and do better. If he wants to smoke cigs fuck it who cares, it’s his health not yours. He’s his own goddamn person just like you, stop trying to control him.
Wow if you would leave
Over smoking no wonder he lied looks like he has no choises and you call the shots hes probably better off sounds like you are kind of inmature
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Is it a problem sure only because he lied but he is grown and can smoke lucky u it’s just a cigarette and not another vagina
Hes not smoking around you and sounds luke he not be smoking around the baby,give the poor bloke a break
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If he must smoke, make him do it outside the house and away from the baby. Don’t deny the child a father. BTW, I too hate smoking.
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Quitting is hard hubby’s only quit ciggy and we’ve been together 9 years but hes replaced it with a herbal blend how do you know it wasn’t something similar but he only has it at work, oh and hubby always washed hands changed clothes and smoke outside when mine were tiny and there fine now as he followed all the guidelines
It’s an addiction. Give him a break. There are worse things to worry about.
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He’s a grown man!!!
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Please remember it’s a habit maybe he is just having a hard time fully qiting
Seems petty I’m sure there is stuff he dislikes but u do anyway it’s probably more about controling what he does then it is about the cig
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Smoking cigarettes is a daily battle. I’ve quit and started back a lot more than I’d like to admit. It helps nerves. Yes it’s “bad” but there’s so much worse. You gotta pick your battles. Nibody is perfect. You should focus more on what YOU can control. Make a list of all things that bother you and mark off all the ones you have no control over. The ones that are left are only up to you to control.
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If you knew he was a smoker when you met him why you changing him
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When you’re done being mad go home. You married a smoker🤷🏾♀️
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I’m sure quitting is really hard. But he shouldn’t have lied about it. If that’s a deal breaker for you then you have to make that clear. If he decides he doesn’t want to quit you need to decide what you want to do.
Uhm? You do realise he’s an adult? I want to say you overreacting cos your pregnant but I don’t know. Ease up and go back home and apologise for being stupid. Blake it on the pregnancy! We all do stupid things wen our hormones are going crazy.
Wish fb offered the 
as a reaction. That is all… Carry on.
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He obviously didnt smell as you never knew and he shouldn’t of lied either but to walk out on h for smoking is too far lol end of the day he aint hurting you its his choice if he does smoke or not
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Is this post for real…its a joke right? You left the house because he was smoking…God dam I’ve heard it all now…GROW UP!
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Tbh maybe if you didn’t react like that and fly off the handle and run to your mums, he’d be more open to tell you the truth? 
sometimes all it needs is a discussion and how you can support one another. Marriage is about compromise, not having a go at someone just because you don’t like the choices they make.
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Oh my goodness-------you did not even know he was still smoking until you so him!!!So what’s your problem!!!
He clearly felt he had to lie to you which says more about you than him, its not worth breaking up over, just set rules smoking outside, wash hands etc before touching the baby, im not a smoker by the way but if you married a smoker then dont demand he quits just have house rules regarding smoking
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Better than A list drugs. Crap he lied but cripes… This made me want a ciggy.
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Why is this made out of to be as bad as heroin or any drug for that matter?
It’s a cigarette, it’s legal , and he’s a grown man he doesn’t need your “permission” and if you get that mad over a cigarette I can’t imagine what else you leave him over…
Time to accept it unless he wants to quit…
Or find a non-smoking husband
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Get a grip on reality.
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A little extreme don’t you think??? I understand you don’t “ LIKE “ cigarettes… I get it and he lied… but to leave…. There’s gotta be more to it
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I’m so disappointed in these comments. These ladies who are saying “get over it” or “you’re overreacting” are either smokers themselves or have a spouse that smokes.
For me, smoking is a dealbreaker, so no, you are NOT overreacting and no, you DON’T have to get over it.
Smoking is super disgusting and not only does it affect their smoker theirselves and others around them, keep in mind 2nd and 3rd hand smoke affects ppl too!
So you did the right thing by going to your mom’s bc you’re thinking about your health and the baby’s health.
If he’s having a hard time quitting, there are ways to do it, like, getting on the patch, or chewing gum every time he feels like he wants to smoke, etc. so it’s not hard and there is no excuse.
But I do advise to talk to your husband again and let him know your stance on smoking and the lying about it. You don’t have to end your marriage over this as long as he’s willing to be serious about quitting and rebuild your trust. If he can’t, for the sake of yours and the baby’s health, separating or staying with your mom’s is also a good idea too and there’s nothing wrong with that either.
Good luck!
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How did you not know if you hate the smell of smoke. It’s potent and doesn’t really ware off so perhaps it was a one off thing this time. My husband smokes and I quit several years ago but I can smell it all over his stuff.
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So tell him to smoke outside and sanitize his hands. You married him smoking. Sheesh…
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Maybe it has nothing to do with him smoking and everything to do with him LYING FOR OVER A YEAR
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Smoking is a terrible habit, I have tried many times to quit, have been unsuccessful! . It doesn’t mean he loves you any less. Talk with him about it.
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Smoking is hard for some people to give up when told to give up, if hes been smoking for a year and you havent smelt it on him then what’s the biggy? Surely if you have only just found out after a YEAR it’s not a big problem, I think maybe your hormones are going which has made you even more upset because hes lied but maybe he needed to because he couldn’t do it, or maybe hes just a social smoker people smoke to be social
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I think you have to ask your self what support have you gave your husband to support him? TBH your now husband was obviously a smoker when you first got together, and it’s not a.habbit you can kick within a few weeks, it can take people years. But for you to run off to your mums, you are over reacting. Speak to him and see what support he needs. But know what, it may be a stress relief. And if he’s only smoking at work, and not at the house or around you. Then let him be. If this is something you are willing to bring your new born into a broken family and later in life finds out you left her daddy because he was smoking. If I was that child I would be devetated to find out my mum left my dad for that reason.
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Hes your husband. You took vows you dont leave you stay talk calmly and fix it. Quitting is very very hard. Maybe compromise he can only smoke outside or something and help him to quit slowly encourage him and be there for him instead of leaving him.
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Its cigarettes… not heroin or crack.
I too hate cigarettes but its not my business if my partner smokes them.
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Grown ups get to choose whether they want to smoke or not smoke…… even if others disagree. However, lying is a whole new matter. There can be no lies in a marriage, none whatsoever. Forget the smokes but tackle the lies full on.
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I was hell bent on my boyfriend vaping I wanted him to stop but just cause of his health but at the end of the day it’s his body and I can’t really stop him so I just let him go make his own bad choices maybe he’ll learn for himself one day maybe not
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The things we ignore during courtship are 10 times in marriage.
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If this is all people have to worry about 
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Sweetheart; This is the most petty 
I’ve EVER read 
It sounds to me like you were already looking for a reason to leave or at the very least; Pick a fight with him (DO N-O-T use being pregnant as the excuse either)
Unpopular/Popular Opinion/ Tidbit of Advice for the poor SOB that she’s talking about in this situation: Anyone who refers to cigarettes as ciggs, is probably to young for you and is DEFINITELY way to young maturity wise if she ACTUALLY considers this to be such a serious crisis that she moved back in with her mom
Quitting smoking is ungodly hard. Im almost 29 and I’ve been smoking since I was 16 (I know, AWFUL 
) and I’ve tried to quit AT LEAST 100 times and I still haven’t been able to quit yet. I 1,000% understand wanting what’s best for him and his health but you got with him when he was openly smoking, I don’t really see what the issue is now…I’m not excusing him lying to you, but I’m certainly not applauding you for how handled it either
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Honestly, it’s not your body not your choice. Don’t like it? Don’t be around it. Don’t like the smell? Ask him to change clothes when he’s done. You have no right, telling him what he can and can’t do. It is women like you that give us a bad name. Stop controlling the man and let him live his life. If he wants to smoke he can. Talk to him about it.
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I’ve been in this position with my ex husband and it most definitely wasn’t the smoking that was the issue it was the lying and sneaking around behind my back and the fact other people knew and I didn’t it made me feel like an absolute fricken moron!! I was going around saying how proud i was he’d given up etc it sucked! So I understand where you’re coming from. Im not too sure why men just cant grow some balls and speak up instead of being shady!! If it’s their choice to give up then they could just say actually I don’t want to right now then it actually wouldn’t be that big of a deal.
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Seriously? Leaving over cigarettes… 
have a word with yourself… it’s not crack or other women he’s messing with! Maybe he’s better off without you if you act like that over cigarettes…
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Please read Codependent No More . It explains why people who are very loving, make themselves sick in an effort to help the one they love. They explain it in terms of an alcoholic, but it can be any habit that one gets obsessed with. Examples of those habits may be drinking, smoking, gambling, and overeating. The author is Melody Beattie. Basically she says that we must let our loved ones make their own choices and we must learn to back off.
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It’s addictive and so hard to give up. I’ve been trying my hardest
If he’s not smoking at home or around you … it’s not a deal breaker
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Get over it! If he has to hide shit from you obviously states what kind of person you are
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l get paid over $135 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18327 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Did he pick up this habit after you got together? If you got with him knowing he smoked then why leave now after you’re pregnant? You can’t force people to do something they don’t want to do just because they are with you. If it was after you got together then I would be upset but it’s his choice. Leaving especially while that deep into a relationship over a cigarette is a little much IMO. I smoked from 13 to 28. It’s a very hard habit to quit. He had to want to do it himself. It can’t be for you. Also, I would talk to him to see if anything else is bothering him. Hes hiding things from you which is a start to a bad relationship. Nip it in the butt now before the hiding gets worse.
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Seriously!…it’s his body and u have no right to tell him he can’t smoke
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Divorce him then. If he is a good man, don’t cheat on you, provides for you , then. Love him.
Get over your self hes an adult and if your gona behave like that over him smoking then maybe you should stay at your mums cos he’s obviously better off without your childish ass
I’m sorry but he’s an adult and he can do as he pleases I bet you anything you have a bad habit or two he doesn’t like. How old are you running to your moms house for what? If you don’t let him be him then don’t be with him because you can’t change a person the only way he’s going to change if he wants too grow up lady
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You as his wife left him to move in with your mom??? Rather than be by his side through the struggle of actually quitting? I’m sure it’s hard for him to now have you know he wasn’t successful and has fell back on the wagon. I couldn’t imagine my husband leaving me in such a difficult moment and making it feel as if I’m total shiz for losing the fight to quit! Wow…
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You dated him and married him knowing that he’s a smoker so stop your crying and suck it the fuck up butter cup
Pick your battles. You have a new baby coming. Is his struggles to quit smoking ever so slightly a huge deal breaker when it comes to this moment in your life with your baby’s father?
There will be so many issues that naturally arise after having a child that you will have to navigate and figure out which battles are worth leaving and which are worth fighting. He has an addiction that he has struggled with from the beginning of the time y’all met. I’d give him some grace and help support him with quitting before baby is born.
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I’m curious how old you are based on you can’t spell cigarettes correctly and moving home over this is a bit drastic. If this is how you react over the little things how will you react over a real crisis? No wonder he was hiding his smoking.
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Bernice go home. Choose your battles.
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You need to grow up, what a ridiculous post and ridiculous over reaction
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This is hilarious! You left a good man. The father of your child… Over smoking! Dumb.
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If you haven’t noticed he has been smoking in a year at least he is being courteous enough to not smell like smoke because it bothers you 
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You left over cigarettes lol. I can’t believe a woman would leave a man pregnant because he smoked a cig. This is nuts. You were quickly to run out , u don’t just give up on a relationship like this.
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Agree with everyone U can’t force someone to do something just because U say so , he’s a grown man and if he’s not ready to give up because you say so then except it if he smokes outside shouldn’t be a issue, when and if he’s ready to quit good on him . Running to mums isn’t the answer geese grow up , and obviously U don’t love him enough to stand by his side
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Wait…you didn’t SMELL it on him? Even if he’s only smoking at work, that smell lingers, you would still be able to smell the stale smell on him when he got home. Youre really going to move out and leave him over this? As long as he isn’t smoking around you (or baby later on), what’s it matter? You obviously had no idea until you actually saw it happening, so the smell must not bother you that much. This isn’t something you can force on him, he has to want to quit and it doesn’t sound like he wants to. Instead of throwing a tantrum and running home over this, maybe talk to him like an adult.
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Grow up he’s a grown ass man. He can make his own choices
The issue I see is twofold: 1) He lied about it. That’s a serious breach of trust; and 2) Smoking can impact sperm and therefore the unborn child.
The question is why he lied and why he won’t quit. Is he smoking because of peer pressure at work? Does he not want to quit because he doesn’t want his wife to tell him what to do? Did he lie to avoid conflict?
There’s something here worth discussing calmly and rationally and possibly with a mediator, such as a couple’s therapist.
Maybe you should work on your control issue. That’s all this is. You don’t like it so you don’t want him doing it. If it was truly the smell you would’ve known before actually physically catching him.
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If he’s lying to you about smoking what else is he lying to you about… you need to communicate! leaving the house isn’t the right thing.
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So your saying he has a job? 
Wow it felt like I was reading my current life right now. I just don’t have a new baby on the way but I have been going through the same thing I don’t understand why they have to hide or lie about it.
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Fair to ask him not to smoke around you- unfair to get mad at him if he chooses to when he’s not with you. You don’t own him lol.
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Give him an ultimatum. Smoking is disgusting and extremely dangerous especially to a newborn baby. And the fact that he lied and hid it what could or would he lie about. If he can’t be upfront about it and take real steps to quit for the health of his baby then you are justified in walking away. Watching a loved one suffer and die from lung cancer or emphysema is a downright terrible thing.
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Honestly, it sounds minor but my ex husband started smoking and was hiding it. I get that it might not so much be the smoking as the lie that he isn’t smoking. I will say, this was a huge trigger in our divorce. He was way too comfortable lying and hiding things. 
not for me about so many things.
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Having done this, I am suspecting he’s ashamed that he picked it back up. And I will tell you it took me hundreds of attempts to finally quit. Nicotine is so very addictive. Be there for him. Ask that he be honest even if he thinks you may be upset by it. Help him look into smoking cessation options. It’s been a long time for me and I really don’t like cig smoke either now. It makes me gag. But I wouldn’t leave over it. He’s keeping it away from you and baby and my guess is that he wishes he could quit. If you are supportive, I think he will be more open with his struggle to stay stopped. My spouse doesn’t smoke, but he never shamed me when I picked it back up (too many times to count). I was so grateful for that. I was disappointed in myself already and it wouldn’t have helped to have him berating me also.
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My hubs couldn’t FULLY quit (our daughter has asthma) so he switched to nicotine lozenges… same nicotine for him no nasty chemical smelling smoke for her YAY WIN WIN
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Think your pregnancy hormones are doing the thinking and acting here. Go home. Nag and bitch at him but leaving… Its hard to quit smoking. Especially when your being forced to. And since ya haven’t clearly even talked to him about what ya saw… You may have just seen a man slip up. Maybe his wife is a hormonal basket case. Maybe he is having a shitty day at work. Way to go and leave over a smoke.
What if he did actually quit and was stress about work , you , the baby and bummed one? You’re overacting
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You sound very young and extremely immature. You might not like smoking but if he’s not smoking around you or your unborn baby, then you have absolutely zero argument here. Relationships are give and take and to make them work, you’ll need to accept the positives and the faults of your partner. It’s definitely not your job to control them or try to make them change, simply because you don’t like it. You have a baby coming and will be connected to this man for life now, regardless of how you feel about him so I suggest that you overlook his smoking flaw and let him be, especially if he doesn’t even do it around you. If this is the worst thing this man has done, you should feel lucky.
P.S. he lied to you because he didn’t want you to overreact, just like you did. 
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If you left him over that then he deserves someone better, he’s an adult and you are not his mom.
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Quit trying to control him. He’s an adult. He’s being a considerate smoker.
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It’s okay to be upset because he lied. But not to over dramatic its just cigarettes. You didn’t even know he was smoking so you obviously didn’t smell it.
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o hunny if cigarette smoking is the only problem in your relationship then I think you will be okay. Just talk to him about lying & move on
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If you didn’t know for a year you’re obviously not smelling it. 
You left over cigarettes? 
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Did he feel “safe” enough to tell you that he’d slipped up and had a cigarette? If you lecture him or are unsupportive, he may have lied to save the embarrassment and arguments. Smoking is the most difficult habit to quit, even more than hard core illicit drugs due to it being legal and socially acceptable. Be supportive, you can say you don’t like it and ask him not to smoke around you and the baby. But to leave him and your house over it justifies his anguish about telling you in the first place.
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Wait are you his mom or wife? Controlling much?
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He probably did not tell you because how you judge him. You do not own him
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Vices are hard - I overeat - some folks smoke- some gamble - some womanize - some drink ! This is one that you can deal ! Make the best of it and move on. Big picture thinking time !
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