My husband lied to me about wanting another baby

This is where you either give an ultimatum, leave, or hope an accident happens

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A guy is allowed to change his mind without getting hunted with pitch forks, if it was a guy pressuring and having a fit over wanting a kid with a woman that has changed her mind later on in the relationship there would be carnage.

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You only have ONE life. If the idea of not having another kid is something you can’t get over, then leave.

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Well is that a deal breaker for you? I mean you guys have 4 kids between you. Maybe he didn’t originally lie but changed his mind after realizing the weight of a mortgage, paying for a wedding etc etc?? It sounds like your mind is made up either way. Maybe time to reevaluate and consider annulment.

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Sounds like he did something he regrets and said what you wanted to hear to get you to take him back. He was trying to distract you from whatever it is he did wrong

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Divorce his assss :scissors::scissors::scissors:

I mean 6 years ago we also weren’t in a pandemic. Maybe he really did change his mind.

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Leave the right man will match everything your willing to give

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Have you actually talked to him and asked him why he has changed his mind there could actually be a good logical reason…you have 4 children between you and things are so expensive nowadays maybe he is thinking about things financially… talk to him :thinking:

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Y’all have 4 kids already. It’s not like you don’t have kids. How do you know he lied to you?? A LOT has changed in this world in the last 5 months. Personally, I think people are downright nuts to bring kids into the world we live in now - ESPECIALLY since this whole Ukraine thing has gone down. We literally are staring down the barrel of nuclear war and you’re wondering why he lied to you?? He didn’t lie to you. He’s the one that is sane and reasonable here. You should appreciate that he is actually being HONEST with you instead of just giving you what you want, being miserable, and then leaving you. Does he love you and the FOUR kids you have already?? Is he good to you guys? Does he protect and provide?? Be content, woman. Open your eyes. smh

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I want more kids but I am so scared to bring another child into this hell of a world rn :sob:

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Been here. Got the divorce papers to show for it as I couldn’t let it go.
I remarried and had my only child at 40.

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I wouldnt want to being another one in this world. But if its something you really want and you cant be happy with out… then either find a way to get pregnant with him or leave and find someone who wants what you want

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Get an annulment of your marriage and then find someone who does want a child.

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If you can’t get past it (and I’m not implying you should or shouldn’t) then you need to leave.
If it’s a non negotiable for you in the one life that you get, it’s over.
If you think with time and without resentment you can get over it, then stay.
Unfortunately it is that straightforward.

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Well you tell him you do and if he doesn’t then it’s time for a divorce however kind of sounds like he’s a yoyo on it and can’t make up his mind. Sit down and have a heart to heart with him.

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He lied and manipulated you 100% he told you what you wanted to hear to keep you. You deserve to have another child if that’s your wish dint let anyone tell you different. Now you have to decide if you can get past his lie and let go of another baby or divorce him. In the end he shouldn’t have a baby he don’t want and you shouldn’t have to settle either. This is on him and his choice to lie.

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If you want children find a good man and have more children. Life is way too short to not be happy. There is someone else out there waiting for you and your child.

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If that’s something you really want then that would be a sign to leave for me

I mean you guys have 4 combined, maybe focus attention von the ones you have. I would be pissed but then you need to do your pros and cons…and if that was the thing that is the breaker… annulment

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you’re both married and together u have 4 kids… is that not enough? i know he manipulated u, and said the thigns u wanted to hear, but. either leave him. or be happy with the family ya’ll have now. a husband and 4 kids.
and if ur marrying a man with children then u are marrying int othose kids lives too, they’re now your kids

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This is one I feel is sort of complicated. Maybe he lied to you. Maybe he lied to himself. Maybe he meant it then, but with everything going on in the world changed his mind again.

If he’s good to you and good to your daughter.
If this is the only issue, then I would consider having a real discussion with him and really listening to what he has to say about it all before you call it quits.
It’s likely he’s approaching the baby subject from a logical standpoint rather than an emotional one.

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He manipulate you. I would divorce him and move on. That’s really shitty he knew you wanted more and lied to get you in this position. There’s no reason to try and talk about it or change his mind

Your in control of birth control. Accidents happen. Just saying.

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Leave him and find someone that does have the same future in mind. Not wanting kids is a big deal breaker for me and I will leave anyone who tells me they don’t want kids

Sounds like he planned on deceiving you or hoped you’d change your mind. Not cool. Leave

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Get a divorce. The lying manipulative mf he’s disgusting

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I think her 1 and his 3 are enough kids.

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so why dont you just fall pregnant??? …you already have 4 kids together…why ask him for another? …just stop letting a man decide if you can have a last child…just squeeze one in.Then its too late he cant do anything and termination is not an option! …otherwise you will be bitter about this for years to come.

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if that is a deal breaker for you then walk away

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I told my husband a baby or a motorcycle. He said get the motorcycle and I did! I am still happy with my Harley.

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If she wants another kid that’s her choice and he manipulated her so they definitely need to sit down and have a little heart to heart talk with each other

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I feel you, my husband keeps moving the bar on another baby. :unamused:

That’s bs and manipulating

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A lie is a lie. If he is gonna lie to u abt wanting another baby then he will lie and manipulate u abt other stuff. If he isnt on the same page as u move on yes it may hurt but u have to do what is best for u and ur child

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Annul it. He misrepresented what he was willing to do. Kids are a deal breaker. Your wanting them is valid. His not wanting more is valid. But he had NO RIGHT to lie to you about it.

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I agree with Christy Harpole.

Sounds like you just need to leave. You want a kid,he doesnt. If thats whats most important to you,then leave.

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It sounds like he deliberately trapped you into marriage because he wanted you. He knew he didn’t want the same things you did. Sounds very manipulative as well. So many red flags already. Do the smartest thing you can do and get a divorce and move on. You deserve another baby, you deserve a blossoming marriage, you deserve to have a partner who wants the same things out of life that you do.

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If you can do an annulment based on that I would. Sounds like he trapped you. Not sure I could trust him now personally. I think what he did what conniving and manipulative. If you think you can trust him and can live without having another baby you are gonna have to find a way to get past it.

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I actually can understand his point
He may have reasons for not wanting more kids
that the OP hasn’t mentioned to those of us sitting on the sidelines

Please don’t listen to the “just get pregnant” advice
As 2 wrongs don’t make a right

Between the 2 of you, you already have 4 kids. It’s possible he’s thinking another baby would add more responsibility than what he’s ready for right now.

I do know one thing: if you don’t both agree, it’s a bad idea to push it.

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Maybe he’s just nervous. Maybe he doesn’t feel like you guys are financially stable enough for another child. Have you ever asked him why he doesn’t want another kid?

WOW these fan questions are sounding more and more alike just add a child here or there minus one or 3 but husband still spinning lies of wanting a child then whalah magic sike I gotta now we’re married​:sneezing_face::face_exhaling:

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That’s when you say you kept your end now he needs to keep his.Baby or Divorce.If he sticks to not wanting another baby you got to decide if your willing to not have another.If it’s something you can’t get over than divorcing is best because neither one of you guys want to live with regret or blame the other for your lifes not feeling complete.

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He defrauded you in order to marry you, that’s grounds for an annulment. That’s no small thing. I think what he did is gross and vile. I couldn’t be with someone who could so easily do that to me, or anyone. I would have the marriage annulled and just never look back.

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That’s a deal breaker and not fair since you discussed it prior to marriage. He knew your stance and you knew his (well you thought you did) and After 5 months I would seek counseling asap and if he isn’t able to come to terms about his lies to get you to marry him then unfortunately if I were you I would leave again, and this time for good. It’s heartbreaking and sad but that’s definitely grounds for an annulment/divorce. Also think if he lied about this what else would he lie about later. It’s better to hurt and walk away now then to later have regrets. And a child will definitely leave you with a emptiness if that was your desire. He had a chance to be upfront with you before marriage and let you both part your ways but he didn’t. Not ok

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Omg im shocked 2 hw many ppl r sayin have 1 anyway thats bad i would love another bby he as twins i have a gal n we have a boy 2gether im on the pill he doesnt want any more bt says if it happens it happens bt i wouldnt dream of trappin him in2 havin 1 sorry its just wrong

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Wowwwww. He’s garbage tbh

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Go to a sperm bank … it’s not cheating he promised you a baby … so go have a baby

leave em ! if mine does that to me I would I already told him that

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I’m so sorry you possibly just wasted all that time only to be so disappointed :pensive:

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He manipulated you to get want he wanted he figured once you married him you won’t leave him after he tells you he lied you will end up resenting him and eventually leave so save your self the misery and leave him now do not try to force him to have another child he will resent you and the child my first husband originally told me he wanted a child and every year he put it off we ended up getting divorced I had a child a few years later and to this day he wishes he was my child’s father he has no children and never will either does his brother so there family ends with them

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OUCH!! But what it comes down to R U Happy? IS he A Good Dad to the kids that are here? AND DO U REALLY LOVE HIM? IF those are ALL yes then Question whether it really matters and R U sure U need a baby too?? Search DEEP and I would of never asked the internet for advice😉 Best of Luck and Best of Wishes to U and all the children U already have❤️

PS…Lots of hater first reaction advice on the comments ITS WHATS WRONG WITH R SOCIETY…We Just Throw it away and ask for more PLEASE THINK FOR YOURSELF again Best of Luck :four_leaf_clover:

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Something happened … go find out… he’s sending you a message

Where is his ACTUAL WIFE? You “Married” someone else’s HUSBAND.

Where is YOUR HUSBAND? You were already MARRIED.

Boo Hoo.

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He may not have lied instead changed his mind about it and I mean can you blame him weddings are expensive even for the most simple ones and you guys already have a bunch of kids maybe its just not in his plans for a reason

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If having another child is that important to you just leave him just because you married him doesn’t mean that you’re stuck with him when he clearly broke a promise.

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He pulled a bait n switch. He prob thought u would be okay with it after u went thru all the hoops. That’s worse than some of the stuff we hear on here. That trust won’t be restored and u won’t stop wanting that baby.

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Your marriage is a lie , and what else is he or will he lie about next . Is that the life you want for you and your daughter . Tell him how you feel and that you are not happy and get yourself away from him.

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Well I believe you can get a divorce with false pretenses or something like that

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I’m proud of u for taking his feelings into considerations. Lots of women don’t. If they wanna get pregnant they will find a way. Also I’m so sorry he lied to u. Truly the longer u wait to have more children the more it seems like a chore so I understand. Have u guys tried couples therapy? I’m sure the therapist can get u the answers u need if ur partner is willing and open

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That’s emotional abuse. He used your dream of having a child together & also used the whole “ Get married, but a house have a child shit” for his own selfish gain. You deserve better and deep down you know that you do!! So please do both yourself and your little girl a favour and get out no.

Divorce. Simple as thsy

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So what are you going to do, hopefully not have a child when he has made it clear he doesn’t want anymore. If another child is that important to you then move on.

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He didn’t lie to you, you chose to give him an ultimatum, after he had expressed uncertainty you chose to move forward anyways, changing your mind isn’t lying, I think you should just move on, you can’t force him to want more children

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That’s not a little lie. That’s a life changing, make it or break it lie. You have to decide if you can forgive him and not have another child or realize if he lied about that and manipulated you for so long, there is no future for y’all.

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I’m always horrified when women are treated this way and still call the person their husband… Girl… You should have been divorced or never married that POS to begin with

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That is grounds for divorce

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But honestly he told you the first time so I would have never gave him another chance knowing that you want more you will resent him later and if he does give in he will resent that and it’s just a mess waiting to happen

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This post makes no sense.

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I don’t think he lied to you I think he told you exactly how he was feeling at the time and now his feelings have changed.

I would be sitting down with my partner and talking to him calmly instead of feeling lied to and betrayed because he has the right to have his own emotions too and for them to change depending on what happens in life

Find out what’s going on and why he doesn’t want anymore kids and maybe it’s just a simple thing about giving things time or coming to terms with the situation that there is already 4 children in his life.

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Seems to me maybe he just changed his mind. We all have the right to want something one day and not want it the next. And have you asked why his wants have changed? Maybe it’s not a lie meant to hurt you but instead he’s being honest with you and just no longer wants anymore kids. Communication is key. Sit and have a heart to heart convo instead of assuming it was a lie. It’s also only been 5 months since got married, did he say he never ever wants another baby?

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Ya have 4, geez can you afford them?

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That would be a deal breaker for me and sucks that he waited til you married him. This is not Chinese VS pizza compromise. This is like life decisions.

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3rd time around should be sign of what you don’t want from him. Leave him

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Im not sure why anyone would defend him and say “he just changed his mind”. No. They broke up because she told him she wanted kids and it was a deal breaker for her and him. They ended it. He came back claiming he had a change of heart and that after she married him he’d have more children with her. So they married and THEN he told her once again he doesn’t want anymore children. Knowing this was a deal breaker for her to begin with before marriage. He manipulated her and love bombed her to get her to stay with him. Its wrong. I see so many women on this page gaslighting and playing “cool wife” on here its so weird to me and cringy. This is a huge red flag. Kund of controlling too. He totally manipulated her to get what he wanted in the moment. Its grounds for divorce. This is a life decision he said he wanted…she was willing to end it in the first place (rightfully so) because of different life goals. You don’t get to " change your mind " back once again and play victim. This is the definition of somebody who is deliberately wasting your time. He knew she only married him with the idea that they had the same future plans. Went through with it and then told her no. Im sorry this happened to you :pensive: You need to make a decision because this behavior is a red flag. :triangular_flag_on_post:

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He sounds damaged, has he ever said why he doesn’t want anymore kids? Cause perhaps he has some feelings deep down that he is not revealing. I mean, who would not want a baby with their partner… My husband and I have a 6 year old son together and I am now expecting baby number 2, he has always wanted to have another baby but I on the other hand didn’t want to because I went through so much with my son, and it was things that a man would never understand, cause they don’t carry that baby. But by the grace and will of our almighty I am having baby number 2 and we are both over joyed and excited about this gift from God. :blush:Please speak to ur husband and stop feeling betrayed. If u do not sit down and communicate, why are u together? Why did u get married?

Sometimes people change their mind it’s normal maybe he realized he’s happy with the children he has now and doesn’t want another expense children are not something you have just because it’s a big responsibility he didn’t lie to you he just changed his mind. If this is something you are truly upset over talk to him and explain how you feel hopefully you two can come to a agreement and understand each other only 5 months that’s something you will have to work on

He has 3 kids already…paying at least $900 a month in child support and heath care as well for these other kids…he doesn’t want any more kids because he has no money…and if he has more kids with you … he’ll never have any money if you divorce him . He didn’t lie to you…he tricked you…

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Plenty of men would probably give you a child and be a support
Sounds terrible and I really think it’s terrible & time for you to let him go.
My husband was the same.
I didn’t get my second baby that I wanted.

Leave…he manipulated you and thought that if y’all were married it would be to hard to leave…you won’t ever get over not having more kids if I really want them…if he can’t step up to his promises then find someone that wants the same

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Did he lie ,or is he scared or did he change his mind

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Get rid of him and find someone else.

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Just go off the pill, let the magic happen and say it’s a surprise baby. He can’t turn it down then :joy::woman_shrugging:t2:

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If his not giving you what you need in life, leave him and find someone who will.
Give him the choice and make it clear.

You will never regret the kids you have

But you will regret the ones you didn’t :heart:

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I would leave. He tricked. Lied. And manipulated you. Not good at all. Girl how many other things has he lied to you about ?

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total bs. I wouldn’t trust him one bit on anything.

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I would leave and be done with him.

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go and find a good man who would love a baby together

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I mean if he “changed his mind”once again I’d play the same game. Just come off the pill on the sly. Have yourself a baby. There maybe issues with that plan… but depends on how bad you want the baby! Personally I’d take the baby over a man any day! Men are replaceable. Babies are life!

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Be gone. He gaslit you. Plain anf simple

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Pretty sure you can get a divorce with some kinda fault or whatever that you guys married under false pretenses or however you need to word it

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This was right under your post on my timeline.

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My ex husband did this to me-I got the marriage annulled! Based on him lying to me to get me to marry him!! We were married a year and I was still granted the annulment!

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