My husband lied to me about wanting another baby

What do I do when my husband lied to me for 6 years about having a baby after we get married and changes his mind? My husband and I been together for 6 years now. At the beginning of our Relationship We dated for a year and I left him because we both didn’t have the same Future. He has 3 kids I have one little girl. I was really heartbroken when I left him. He told me he didn’t want any more kids. And I understand that. But he came back to me 3 months later and tells me. We need to do it the right way. Be together and buy a house and get married. Before we have a baby. So in my mind we weren’t going to do it the right way and become a family. Well here we are now 5 months later after our wedding he tells me he doesn’t want a baby. I’m so heartbroken. I did everything he ask for and he lied to me.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband lied to me about wanting another baby - Mamas Uncut

if he lied about that, he’ll lie about other things. He better be perfect and a real peach for me to even entertain the thought of sticking around. He thinks he has you now, because of that marriage license. In reality, he doesn’t. Walk away and call a divorce attorney

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It’d Be an Annulment for me🤷🏻‍♀️
You can’t lie and trick me and expect me to stay…

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I wouldn’t push it too much but I definitely would sit him down and tell him your desire and ask him what his hesitation is. You want to do this in a way it doesn’t cause him to shut down

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Meh, just keep talking with him. You need to express how serious you are about having another one. Keep telling him. Make it a serious ass conversation, because it is. My husband and I never wanted another one, let alone the ones we have, but we changed our mind. So you never know.

This is manipulation.

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If he lied about that, get the marriage annulled.
That’s harsh but what he did was beyond cruel. You don’t deserve that.

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Run like your @$$ is on :fire:
My sister has the exact same thing happen to her with her ex husband and he turned really abusive in every way possible.

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That’s betrayal and something I would never deal with.

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He tricked you he Wants to be with you but doesn’t want a baby… You don’t deserve that. I would be gone After he lied and tricked you.

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Normally I Don’t agree with people who say leave.
But in this case, i 100% would leave!
Most lies you’re able to work through, but to lie about something so intense is a no from me!

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Annul that shit and bounce

Hey he manipulated u fair and square ur turn. Getting pregnant is do-eble with or without a mans permission. Most cases its be FUCKED up to do but what he did was manipulative and fucked up too so IF HES GREAT IN ALL OTHER REGUARDS he loves u and u love him he provides go make ur baby while he thinks hes just enjoying himself ;3 thats ur husband u want a baby he agreed to a baby if u married he owes u a baby. Fair and square.

Doesn’t mean he lied. He might have just simply changed his mind about having another baby. It’s okay for people to change their mind.

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I’m so sorry. Prayers

Tell him you changed your mind about being married to him then :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Does he not want one at all or just right now?

lie to him say you on birth control and get your baby but i would leave to

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This right here is called manipulation, and he knew exactly what he was doing. Now your going to be questioning everything that comes out his mouth, do you really want that?

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Did he lie or did he change his mind? People are allowed to change their mind. You have 4 kids between the 2 of you and he could have easily realized he couldn’t handle a 5th one.

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I’d be filing for divorce. What else is he gonna lie about… smh

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If my husband started our marriage by lying to me i would leave. I know that sounds harsh but at this point in MY life i have no room for liars or fake friends. People that will lie to manipulate you once will do it again.

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It may not have been intentional. He may have just realized he how he felt. Maybe he thought if things were “perfect” he’d be okay with another baby and then realized that wasn’t it. Definitely leave if you’re unhappy and want different futures though.

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Just have one anyway. He knew you wanted a kid and lied to you so lie about being on birth control. Fair is fair.

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For all those saying he didn’t lie, he changed his mind & so on, he’s wrong. He knew exactly how she felt, he knew exactly what it meant to her, & he didn’t tell her how he really felt. He told her what they needed to do 1st before having one, she did it, he knew her mindset never changed. He either played her or if he did change his mind, he didn’t tell her cause he knew she would leave. It’s not right to her at all

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Some of y’all are ridiculous smfh :rofl: the man is allowed to change his mind 💁 some of y’all need to reevaluate you’re lives :neutral_face:

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Lie about being on birth control? That mentality couldn’t be more reckless. Putting a child in the middle?? An innocent baby??
I’m praying for y’all who think that’s right.

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File for a divorce and leave him. He told you what you wanted to hear to get you in a marriage contract.

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In my opinion I’d re evaluate your need for a baby and see where his concern falls on that spectrum. Maybe he doesn’t think it’s financially fiscal or genuinely thinks you guys have more than enough kids. I heard someone say that women want babies and not adults. We get super wrapped up in babies and how sweet and cute they are. They make us feel closer and stronger to our partners. But men see kids as adults. Like eventually people who think an require a lot of financial attention. Just a perspective to consider.

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Well he changed his mind about a baby… even though despite what other people are saying he clearly intentionally or not wasted years of your life that you could of used to build a relationship and family with someone else. Which is also wrong to do. So now you have a few choices it’s your body your choice have a baby without him (sperm donor) he can choose to stay or go! It’s your body not his so completely your choice it won’t be his child so :woman_shrugging:t3: he technically won’t have a baby it would just be yours or you can leave and go that route or find someone new who wants the same things as you. Either way no matter what or how other people want to twist it he still wasted years of your life under false pretenses.

He knew what you wanted and how you felt. He is wrong to lock you down in a marriage and then tell you he changed his mind. This is a shitty situation. What he did was shitty. I don’t think the advice on here telling you to leave or stop birth control is particularly sound advice. You may consider marriage counseling to get through this. This, to me, would feel like a betrayal.

I would leave. Move on and have kids with someone else or on your own.

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He is allowed to change his mind; HOWEVER; he also told you one thing & then kept you in the dark. That was the premise for you guys getting back together & getting married, per him. So I would check laws in your state b/c that’s marrying under false pretenses & you can have that changed real quick. If that’s what you want. If you are willing to part with the dream of another baby I would say get into counseling otherwise it’s going to be really easy for resentment to build & fast.

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If it’s a deal breaker for you and you married him under the understanding that you’d have a child afterwards. Then leave.

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That’s considered fraud and you could get an annulment.

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Wow. This guy is a piece of work to trap you by spewing lies just so you would marry him.

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Okay, the whole he’s “allowed to change his mind” doesn’t apply when it was an obvious deal breaker when she left him for it the first time. He should have been sure if came back into her life. Some people have huge deal breakers and this was clearly one of hers. He lied to her to get her to stay

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You can get an annulment based on fraud. Much easier than getting a divorce. But you should be sure that you want to trade a baby for the life you have now.

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Wow he straight trapped you! You’re gonna have to decide if having another baby is a deal breaker or not for you. The facts that he trapped you like that is not cool either. No one can make that decision, but you.

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I guess you have to figure out what’s important to you.Him or a baby.Baby leave if ya think you can go through life with one child of your own stay.

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This isn’t a matter of him changing his mind. This sounds like he told you everything you wanted to hear in hopes that you would one day change your mind. You need to have a talk with him and decide what you want more. Your marriage or a baby.

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Birth control has been known to fail… just saying

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He has the right to change his mind but he had more time to process having another kid. He has 3 and you 1 and adding another 1 . He thought it through and decided no more kids because its would be a financially hard.

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Divorce him there men that will want what you want and for 2 why be with man that thinks it’s ok to lie to you

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Drop him for playn with ur heart

Your first mistake was doing everything HE asked for…JUST BE YOU…LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT…YOU SHOULD OF SET A TIMELINE FOR A CHILD…AT LEAST YOU KNOW HE DOESNT WANT ANOTHER CHILD…DONT GET PREGNANT…GET OUT!!!

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Screw his opinion have them anyways.

Leave him and don’t take him back. Be with someone who’d be over the moon to have a family with you.

Ain’t to late to sign them divorce papers.

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The world is crazy I don’t blame him!

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Don’t trick him into having a baby. Leave him. There is someone out there for you.

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Leave he is playing games

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He lied to you… prob thought once y’all were married you’d feel stuck. Look if you want more children from you then tell him it’s nonnegotiable and that you understand he’s done so here’s the divorce papers. I reallllly doubt he changed his mind.

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Did you marry him strictly for the sake of having another baby? Or do you genuinely love him? Hes allowed to change his mind. People change multiple times over the course of a relationship. He may change his mind next year, he may not… you COULD have done the same. I really dont believe this was a “trap”.
Plenty of times a husband and wife have disagreements about how many kids they should have, and while it sucks to be on different pages, life still goes on. If another kid is something you refuse to live without, then maybe you should consider leaving if hes dead set against it. Otherwise, enjoy the children you have, and your husband who loves you. Maybe you can foster or adopt in the future. :pray:t2:

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You don’t want to be with someone who won’t give you what you need. Someone out there will. I assure you of that!!!

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It’s only been 5 months give him time to settle in

You need to find out what is in the background to change his mind. Something is not right here. Go girl

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If u guys can not compromise leave now. My eventual ex husband didn’t want kids I left there was more to it then that. We were separated for roughly 1.5 years. He and I got back together knowing I wanted more children at least one and we would consider more if the time came to e both had one daughter from another relationship my daughter was 5 when we split. His was 4. We got back together his daughter was 5 she would of been turning six in October. I had bought her birthday presents and her whole Xmas 2011 he didn’t have any money. We got back together by June 2013. We ended up staying together with knowing I wanted kids we had our first son feb 2015. Got married aug 2017 had our second son July 2018. I was blamed for 95% of our problems. Us having more kids even though I gave him his out. My mom dying my bonus daughter blamed us made tik tok saying how we killed my mom. Which she had a heart attack and stroke within a week of each other along with crohns complications.

Sorry I digress

Do what’s right for you, if you can’t be in this relationship without more kids then leave if he is willing to go to counseling that’s maybe an option.

I chose to have no more kids after my last son bc their dad is a piece of work. We have been split since October 2019 and we are still in divorce proceedings bc my lawyer says my county is hard but I believe it’s bc my ex won’t get a lawyer.

Just do you! Do what’s right for you! It’s never black and white you have children to consider.

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He tricked you ,so you trick him an poke the condom packet ,stop birh control :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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I’m the opposite unpopular opinion. You are married and he lied. It’s not your fault if your birth control is “faulty” what happens happens. It takes two to tango.

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Are u sure he lied to you or did his feelings change? Like jeez why does everyone keep screaming leave him…sometimes feelings change. What he once felt he could do and felt he could get used to the idea if you guys built the life, may just not be what he thought he would want. Feelings change. Have a conversation. Tell him how much it means to you and have him explain himself a bit more before throwing in the towel.

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Well I don’t think he lied… He WANTED one when he said that which was 6 years ago… he obviously changed his mind. :roll_eyes: People can do that.

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You don’t need his permission to fall pregnant🧘🏽‍♀️

He didn’t lie, he changed his mind

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Leave. He intentionally lied to get what he wanted without any concern for how this will affect you. Deal breaker. He’ll do it again

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YES I love sticking people with kids on purpose and giving that child a father who doesn’t want them… you guys sound insane.

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6 months ago if you asked me I would’ve told you i wanted 4 or 5 kids, if you ask me the same question today, I would say I’m okay with 2. It doesn’t mean I lied.

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He knew it was important to you. If you want to be married to him and are okay with no more kids, then be with him. If you’re set on having a baby then get a divorce & find someone else.

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Well, you are now married to wonderful profound liar cut your losses now and get out. He’s no good.

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He’s being honest! He’s happy and fulfilled with his 3 kids and doesn’t want a 4th one. You need to step back and ask yourself are you willing to stay with an only child? Does your daughter deserve/wants a sibling? Are you going to recent him later on if you stay? Only you can decide the outcome…

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Get it annulled…it’s under a year and he married you under false pretenses…he didn’t change his mind …he conned you…you have every right to be choked …I’d get pregnant anyway if I really wanted a baby …once I was pregnant I’d kick him to the curb …but I’m fiesty and don’t like being used or lied to …do what feels right in your heart for you …but this guy is all about himself and always will be … doesn’t bode that it will get any better than what this man is showing you :frowning:

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I’ve never seen some of the craziest shit posted… just because he said he did at first but doesn’t now doesn’t mean he’s lied. Things change. So maybe him wanting another baby changed. He has 3 plus a bonus kid. Maybe that’s enough for him.

Things are crappy in the world right now…I’d think long and hard about bringing a child into this uncertain world…

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That’s a hard one… you have to ask yourself if you can forgive and accept no more baby. Or is it important enough for you to divorce and with time and healing find a better suited partner…

In my experience that’s too big of a deal to stay.

My hubby and I did not want any kids when we met. 3 years in I told him that I was sorry but I had a change of heart and wanted children. Told him if he wants to part ways I would understand and respect his needs.

He decided that he too wanted a child. A few months later after I gave him time to think.

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He was telling you the truth before you guys broke up he don’t want no kids and lied to you when he came back .the marriage is not going to last because it is based on a promise( lie) that he never intended to keep

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Some of these comments make me wonder how many of y’all did this and are now single mothers… :rofl: but anyways. People change their mind all the time! Maybe it’s still not the right time to him… give it some time and bring it up again. 5 months into a marriage is still the honeymoon stage lol.

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Who cares? Get prego anyways. Birth control isn’t 100% :joy::joy::joy:teach him to lie

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Get rid of him he has someone else

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It’s only been 5 months. Give it time and Grace. He may come around.

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He said that so you would marry him.

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People change their minds all the time …we humans do that …

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People change their minds. Especially now lol inflation, gas prices, formula shortages, not to mention us being on the brink of a WW3. Who wants a baby right now? :joy:

Give it some time. The world has changed alot this past month and it’s going to get worse before it gets betterm

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He cornered you on purpose.
Honestly, leave.

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He pretty much tricked you into marriage which is grounds for annulment

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I would be honest with him and say it’s a deal breaker and I wouldn’t have married you if you told the truth
See how he reacts he may think better of it or he may tell truth
Maybe he hoped once you were married you wouldn’t be as bothered

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People can change their minds! My man wants another one, I have 1 from a previous marriage + my son with my man now and he wants another one. We’ve been together almost 5 years and at first I did want another one, but now I’m getting older, I don’t know if I want to go through that again… so I feel him. If it’s important to you, to make or break you, then maybe reconsider your marriage. You wouldn’t want to have a kid with someone who didn’t want it and then later they throw it back in your face, that would be even more painful for you and the child.

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Get an annulment. Some say he’s being honest, I say he’s trapped you. I’d be getting very passed at him saying you married him under false pretences, he knew how you felt and lied to you of the conditions of having a child and then changed his mind!!??? No! No! No! He knew what he was doing and is being bang out of order. Tell him that you’re seeking legal advice and will be looking to separate as this is not what was agreed and as pissy as he may get, this is his fault. He’s responsible for this so tough shit

Before I had my 3rd and last baby, I told my husband I wanted another baby. He did not. He was against it. So I was very straight forward and told him if he didn’t want another baby, I would never force him into it, but that also meant I’d be leaving him to find someone who would have a baby with me. Well that worked because we had my youngest. He didn’t wanna lose me. And I was determined to get a 3rd child. Having another baby was more important to me than being married to my husband at that time. So maybe tell him if he won’t give you another baby, that’s fine, but you will have to leave him to find someone who will give you a baby. Don’t give up your dreams of having more kids for anyone!!

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When I met my husband 23 years ago I was told I couldn’t have children…he didn’t want anymore… 12 years later we had a set of twins not planned bc we thought it wasn’t in our journey… 5 years after that we had our rainbow. Here we sit at 61 and 46 still trying for another… does that mean we lied to one another??? Hell no. It means life changes… opinions change… its all on how you cope with it.

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Red flags everywhere. Sorry, hun…

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Sometimes people change their minds or try to convince themselves there are ok with something to keep the relationship and realize they aren’t. So it’s up to you now, stay and make the relationship work probably without having another kid or leave and find someone else.

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Sounds like he told you what you wanted to hear so you’d take him back.

Granted, people can change their minds, and it’s their right to do so, but when you’re in a relationship/marriage, you have to be on the same page with a lot of things, including children, in order for it to work.

So, you really have to ask yourself what do you want? You can be with him and forego having anymore children, or you can leave him and find someone who wants the same things in life that you want.

Whatever you do, please don’t listen to these people on here telling you to just get pregnant anyway. That’s a good way to get him to resent you and end up being a single mother. You can trick a man into giving you a baby, but you can’t force him to be involved or raise a child he didn’t want.

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Get a divorce and find someone who wants the same things you want. He manipulated you into taking him back. He had no plans of having another baby.

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He may not have lied. Situations change, feelings change. The world is uncertain right now. My boyfriend had thought he was too old. We had a surprise and then ended up trying for an on purpose.

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I find it weird that it’s perfectly fine for women to have “baby fever” but not men. It’s no big deal if a woman says she wants another child, and then, months later, decide she doesn’t. We don’t automatically jump to “SHE LIED TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS” when that happens. Why? “Her body her choice.” Men can also have feelings like this. My husband and I wanted more children, but after 2 late term miscarriages, HE changed his mind. He was afraid he would lose me in the process. Which, I DO understand, is different circumstances from this post. But what I’m saying is, men change their minds. The last thing I’d want to do is sneak around (not cheat but go off B.C.) and get pregnant with a child my husband doesn’t want. Would he love that child, there’s no doubt in my mind. But I feel there would always be resentment towards me, and that would most definitely affect our relationship. If you love each other, I don’t get the LEAVE HIM NOW comments, either. I think it’s absolutely bogus that women can scream HE LIED, LEAVE HIM, RED FLAG, blah blah blah when their man has an opinion that differs from their own. There’s so many components in this story that we don’t know in this group. We don’t have the whole story, and we don’t know HIS side. Is he abusive? Is he cheating? Sneaking around and lying about it? Does he actually do his best to take care of you and your family together? Does he show that he loves you? I mean, I can’t honestly say one way or another without all those answers. If you’re unhappy, leave him (divorce is super easy these days because folks don’t want to work through things anymore). But if you want to make it work, talk to HIM, not us who truly don’t know anything about your relationship. Good luck in whatever you decide.

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He manipulated you. He doesn’t love you. He wants to own you. So he tells you what you want to hear to keep you then once you’re married he drops the bomb. File for divorce. He lied about this to control he IS lying about things.

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I mean I wouldn’t want another kid right now with the way the world is going at this rate.

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He set you up …so one of three things can happen

  1. You settle for what you have now
  2. leave and see if he changes his mind again
  3. Go cheat and have a baby, make him leave the household
    He is a liar and I wouldn’t trust him again
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Some of these response just kill me. No wonder the divorce rate is so high these days. :roll_eyes:

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Mine lied about getting a vasectomy after having our kids. I had 2 c-sections and he still had the audacity to tell me to get my tubes tied instead of him getting snipped. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I would leave. If it’s something he promised you before you got married, then he needs to be a man and follow-through with his end of the deal.

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