My husband locked his credit card from me...advice?

Here’s a question if it was such a small argument why would a card supporting his children be locked? There’s more to this story period. She never even stated what the argument was about. Facts before accusations. No judgment here until then.

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Financial abuse… as a dv survivor I would be filling for divorce. I learned from past experience I dont let abuse of any form slide my kid already almost lost their mama.

He’s definitely wrong, she might be wrong.

Was the mistreatment getting mad at him for coughing uncontrollably, or was it him waking her up at 2am and demanding she make him soup because he has a cold and she refusing because it’s 2am and he has hands?

He’s definitely in the wrong because those are his kids and they’re going to suffer because he pulled allll financial support (courts will change that real quick tho)

See an Attorney.
Its financial hostage holding abuse if he is the sole supporter of all the family finances.

Did he give a specific reason other than a small fight? If he did it just to be petty then I would be getting worried, but if there is more to it talk it out more? If its been a good relationship and you trust him then there is a good reason. I would go with your gut honestly.

You are overspending! Why else would he do that?

I just went through stuff like this which led me to file for divorce. However unless you have money going into the account too he can legally lock his card and keep what’s his. I was able to get my ex for financial abuse cause he was taking my money from checks while I was sleeping he was going to the atm…

I would 10000% get a part-time job and file divorce, also recommend calling your local DV hotline to get help. Best of luck

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WOW… the judgy opinionated posts on this thread are exactly what’s wrong with this world :skull:

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I’m sorry but as the wife I have access to any and everything especially when it comes to the wellbeing of the children. They need food? Got it! Clothes? Got it! Even a new toy every 2-4 weeks? No issue! He is holding the finances over you as power! Don’t get me wrong, my husband has said some not so nice things about me being a SAHM in the past but he did realize after I pointed out what I handle it is in fact, a hard JOB! He even admitted he would never be able to do what I do. Talk to him first and put your foot down and if nothing changes then lawyer up!

Just ask how you’re supposed to address the family needs and go from there. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with locking a CC if the person who pays for it feels that it’s been abused or overused under the guise of “family needs”. Additionally, if you admit that you’ve mistreated him, then perhaps that context would be helpful to formulate a response.

There absolutely is more context than what’s being disclosed and it’s sad to me that the automatic response is for people to say get divorced, label this person as a narcissist and use abuse terminology. When these labels are incorrectly used or put onto people it diminishes the severity of true financial abuse/narcissistic behaviors. For all any of us know, she’s the narcissist but we’re defending automatically because she’s female. If people want real advise, they’re willing to disclose the things they don’t want others to hear in order to formulate true solutions.

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That’s financial abuse. I wouldn’t tolerate it. It only worsens. I would also stop getting pregnant by someone like that.

Disagreeing about purchases is normal. Arguments are even normal. Financial abuse is not normal.
You staying home aids him furthering his career.
Tell him that this is consistent with financial abuse and you will not put up with it. And then follow through with not putting up with it.

Financial abuse. File for divorce.

This is abuse, depriving you of finances. Don’t let him do it. Talk to a lawyer, a Domestic Violence advocate. It’s really hard as it’s in his name. When I was married, my husband purchased a car in his name only…he would get mad and say “You’re Not driving My car” we are now divorced but abuse doesn’t get better only worse. Since you’re pregnant you might feel like He’s Just Mad…don’t. He is abusing you.

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My ex did that to me without telling me, I found out while trying to buy groceries :roll_eyes:
He needs to grow up. That is controlling and nasty. I would have a conversation with him about how relationships are suppose to work. Not a deal breaker just a glitch, Marriage is full of them. If you love each other this can definitely be worked out.

I mean it’s his credit card…get your own.

Apply for child support and foid stamps

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That’s a form of control and manipulation. Start filing for divorce. Good luck.

Young one, what’s your gut say. First off, if he locks it on petty things- you gotta ask what’s really going on. If you can’t buy food or the necessities to run a family - there’s a much deeper problem. Communication is the only way to resolve this.

Get out now while you can that’s straight up financial abuse and it is domestic abuse.

And the rest of the story is,

All these people saying divorce are ignoring the fact that, that would require her to get a job, put the kids in daycare, grow up and take responsibility for herself. Divorce would also let him move on alone and only have himself to deal with. He’d pay her child support. Which is determined by his income AFTER he keeps money enough to support himself and they consider her ability to work. She doesn’t get to say, he has to support her staying home. If the marriage is less than 13 years and she’s not disabled it is impossible to get maintenance or alimony in most states.

This is an abuse tactic… it only will progress …

I simply wouldn’t have any dinner ready for him.And when he starts complaining, tell him oh well, he can do the shopping.Don’t let him know bothers you.I’m sure you have enough food in your house for a while.That you’ll survive and so will your kids

Are you ridiculously over spending to where it’s getting to be more.money going out than in? Ur “story” is jumping around with no real detail on what actually happened …

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I’d be getting ahold of your states woman’s advocates for financial abuse first. Then write a list of things you use the card for and tell them he will now be doing those errands.

Tell him you’re going to Divorce his controlling, selfish a** and make him him pay alimony and child support…. He’ll unlock that card so fast , your head will spin :laughing::laughing:

we don’t know why he locked the card maybe he locked it to keep other things from coming out of their money for food, gas other bills we don’t know why he locked the card in the 1st place

That’s called financial abuse. Dump him

There are 3 sides to every story…

That’s financial abuse. It’s only downhill from this point on. I’d start saving money as best as you can and get out of there.

Start stock piling money when you can. Make a plan to leave. This is financial abuse.

That is a bit controlling be careful of that

Give him the shopping list and take the kids to shop

Give him the list and also take kids to shop

Put the kids in the car with him in the morning and tell him your going to look for a job. Tell him hope his jon has on-site daycare🤣

Feel lucky you have money to spend. Be respectful … you weren’t and now your in trouble.

Financial abuse. Using it to keep you in line. I’d be gone. That’s not right.

Try to put some money aside if possible. He sounds controlling but you know better than us. Get out as soon as possible

Divorce the lowlife and he will wish he treated you better when he is paying out the yin yang with child support and alimony.

I’d leave him. I’d get an attorney & file for divorce. Financial abuse is real & it is awful! It also leads to other forms of abuse. With 2 small babes & 1 on the way, there’s no way I’d ever allow my kids to watch me being abused.
As a mother it is our responsibility to show our babes what a kind, loving, & healthy ( key word) relationship is. This is far from Healthy!
I left my now ex after over 20+ years …… we had 2 small kids @ the time. He started doing this very thing & I wasn’t about to A) be abused
B) have my children think that was “normal”
I knew it was my responsibility to model good behavior for them & this wasn’t it.
Not a day goes by where I regret my decision! It was the BEST thing I did for our entire family.

Tell him to buy dinner, make it and send all info on what needs to be paid.

Tbh, I’d leave. Pregnant or not.

In some States this is called abuse and he can spend up to 6 Months in jail for it.

Believe women.

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Mickayla Schmidt Maybe, but having full time charge and care over the kids doesn’t pay well so the law is in her favor😆

Call a DV service in your area for advice

some of the women in these comments have boyfriends that “never get to see their kids” because “she keeps them away” and it shows

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Depending in the state you live in, his money is your money. Nothing stopping you from opening up another line of credit in both your name.

Tell him to go get grocery and pay what ever you would with the card.

Then bill him for full time daycare. And go get yourself a job.

That is a form of financial abuse. If someone is willing to do that over a petty argument, imagine what he’d do if :poop: ever actually hit the fan. Get on your own two feet mama. Don’t let anyone hold you hostage in your own life

That’s financial abuse.
Divorce.

That’s abuse, leave. Tf soft small piensa energy

Go to a good pantry for you and your kids. Get a job, make your own money, stay with him, or don’t, nobody here can say based on this small bit of info but something major needs to happen. And you can never allow him to have this power over you again. Taking away money over something so petty and childish?! That’s abuse. And it’s disgusting. I’d be so embarrassed to even know him. And I would be ashamed of that was my son.

Financial abuse. File for a divorce. It’s only going to get worse if you don’t get out.

That’s financial abuse…I’d be getting a divorce

Leave financial control never end well.

Financial abuse. Plain and simple. It won’t stop here.

Oh and you could also start using outside supports like food banks to get food for your children :roll_eyes: but let me guess your to prissy for that. There are so many alternatives if you’d just open your eyes.

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Cool. His ass can go get groceries with HIS CARD. Hand him the shopping lists, looks like he has new chores!
:slight_smile:

Ahh yeah file for divorce :raised_hands:t2: wow
Mail the certified papers to your house while you live their :thinking::face_with_peeking_eye::shushing_face: and then get out asap

Myself, I would not give him the satisfaction of being upset. Remind him to pick up milk for the baby on his way home and go about your business. If they control your food and housing they control you.
Get your tubes tied after this child (you have your hands full)
Get some online job training. (There are grants and programs)
Quit being the victim. Take charge of your own life.

If he is withholding money from you then this called financial abuse.

File for divorce immediately. He locked you out of a credit card? Are you his child? No ma’am. Straight to the courthouse. Ask for alimony and child support until you can get on your feet.

It’s financial abuse and I don’t care if it’s “petty” or not. Petty behaviors turn into patterns. Trust me! He’s cutting you off from buying food and things for the kids and yourself. If you were wildly spending money I would have a more understanding response. I would start looking into WFH jobs too. Do not ever allow yourself to be at the whim of ANYONE financially.

There is more to this story. And you admitted you treated him like crap because he doesn’t feel good. Apologize for your behavior and move on. But let him know he’s now responsible for buying the things you guys need and paying the bills. I’d write down all the account numbers and make a list throughout the week of the necessities you guys need and give it to him. If he refuses. Then filed for divorce.

Yea, get ready to get a lawyer. Financial abuse is real.

I’d stop doing the shopping :shopping_cart: and start looking for a divorce attorney. But seriously, why don’t you have any credit cards in your name? Do not give a person financial control of you!

This is financial abuse leave before it ends up physical

That’s financial abuse and NOT OK!!

Your Husband is a real Jerk and very Childish. He don’t need to be a Husband until he learns how to be a Grown up Husband.

I would stop doing anything and everything for him. I wouldn’t cook for him, clean his clothes, pick up after him, wash his dishes, NOTHING!! He’s being an immature @$$hole!!

Just stop buying anything. Send him shopping lists of what the kids or home needs.
Please be aware that not abuse is physical and he is being a horrible bully.

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That’s the most petty childish thing to do is to make you and the kids suffer due to his ego!!! It’s a form of abuse n control …. U need to send him a direct message by either he can do all the shopping going forward or divorce cause that’s never ok and how can u feel financially supported as a family if ged gonna play nasty games with you !!! What a jerk

Oh fuck no ok he wanna play like that there will be no food to cook I would have a list for store items everyday he walked through the door from work I would give him the list to go buy what everyone needs he wants the job so bad give it all to him!!!

Need to listen to
Financial help like someone like Dave Ramsey or someone else.
Lot of people get divorced because of money. There’s no communication.
This helped us a lot and we were able to save

Yeah. Leave. It’s financial abuse.

Get a job & make your own $. Ik it isn’t easy but it insures you aren’t financially abused.

And this right here is the exact reason why even as a sahm you have got to have a side hustle! You can never and I mean never give anyone that kind of power over you! I was a sahm mom
For years and did hair on the side cause ain’t no way! I want to do as I please am never have a man control me in any aspect! Girl prepare your exit plan and bet TF GONE!!! With his petty ass!

Give him some much needed sex and give Daddy what he needs. Card will be unlocked.

So how does he expect us to pay for groceries to feed your children sin e he locked it tell him he can go to the groceries and go get what yaw need for the kids and yourself. If he don’t wanna do that then get out and do for you and your kids and sont worry about him.

Man your poor man especially with all these crazies saying it’s abuse lmfao this why so many guys have a bad reputation cause so many girls are cray cray. It’s his card idc if ur married what happened to in sickness and in health! Knowing way you wrote this comment your one of those ladies that tell ur man to “suck it up” when they’re sick! How awful of you to try throw marriage into in when he cuts off his own money to you but you contradict it by saying u treated him badly when he was not feeling good. My advice do him a favor and leave him.

Call ur local dv shelter pack a bag for the kids create a safety exit plan and run. That’s domestic violence and it will get worse it will get more and more dangerous. You need to leave.

You can’t do anything about financial abuse, except file for divorce. They won’t bat an eye. Once you file for divorce, make sure to file for emergency support, even before temporary child support is put into place. The judge will order something to be given to you to help with bills. It will take a couple months to start getting temporary child support. Nothing is automatically granted. You must request everything by petition. If you don’t, you will get nothing. I wish I had known sooner. I would have filed a petition right away. I have been through the exact same thing. My attorney said they are allowed to not let you have the money they are making. I was not making any money, because I was a stay at home mom. My children were begging him to give me money so they could have cereal, milk and bread. I ended up at the food pantries. I was married and hadn’t filed for divorce yet. The only way my children and I could survive was to file for divorce. You are also not obligated to take care of him at all. He is an adult and he is not disabled. I wish you the best in your journey through this. I’d be filing for a divorce so that you can get child emergency and then temporary support and maintenance until the permanent order is placed on the final day of your divorce.

Get a job and get your own damn card