I would tell him his ass got fat too. i wouldnt put up with that.
You carried his children. The LEAST he can do is respect your body for everything its done the past few years.
Another fast way to lose ~150+ lb is to drop him.
I would tell him his ass got fat too. i wouldnt put up with that.
You carried his children. The LEAST he can do is respect your body for everything its done the past few years.
Another fast way to lose ~150+ lb is to drop him.
I always ask my husband how do I look and an honest answer it may not be what I want to hear sometimes but I appreciate his opinion and it means a lot to me!
Did you pop him one in his mouth? Tell him is pee pee looks small with his gut.
He had no right to say that. Even if the outfit was something unflattering he could.have been much nicer about it. And if he isnt happy with you just because your body has changed then he ain’t the one for you…
Lol I get why you’re sad because it’s an insecurity of yours but maybe he was just tryna help you some people can’t take the truth, it was mean but if all your rolls was showing he probably was just lookin out for you. It depends on if you’re sensitive or not. But I am sorry that it hurt you
I would start leaving those kids with him for two hours every day when he gets home from work to go to the gym, get your toes done, and go shopping for every ten pounds you lose.
Possibly did he say it because he knows you are self conscious of it and didn’t want you to be on your date? Just offering that side?
Sis same thing here… I had 3 babies back to back lol I def gained weight. He needs to love you for you, you fluffiness and all… But it’s when u start to lose that weight, then they start talking crap lol I literally started working out while laying down in bed. My butt work outs. In the shower, do some squats. I’m still a little fluffy, but I can wear a bikini and feel good… In the meantime… wear what u want. Who cares of you’re gorgeous grip shows… There’s men out there that will LOVEEEEEE that fupa of ours and hold on to dear life kissing our fluff…
Not a man. That is not acceptable behavior from anybody.
I would find a new husband no man should say that to a woman
Wow lucky for you gals who cant understand how having babies can put the weight on some women ! Really ? Especially when you have two pregnancies back to back ? Well then consider yourselves lucky that you were never affected by having kids ! We are all different remember and not everyone can snap back to what your weight was before you had that baby and two in arow can mean double the trouble for some ! I did fine until babies 5 n 6 than it wasn’t so easy ! It took time to get rid of it but never went back to being as slim as when I was much younger ! Congrats on your 20 lb loss and don’t give up , keep trying and it will start to show the results you wish to have ! I’m pulling for you kiddo !!
Im fat and my husband bought me a bikini I’m 5 2 268
If he doesn’t love your body after you birthed two of his children screw that.
You already know it was horrible…you do not need our validation. You need to tell your husband your joining the gym and he can have the kids while your gone
“Yeh that comment shows your small dick energy”
Sorry…I’d be livid if the man I love, honor and feel safest with said it to me like that…
It can goes two ways here, by telling you about your ‘rolls’ he might not meant to say it in a bad way, just maybe to tell you the outfit was wrong for you. In another way, if he didn’t really love you, no matter what size you are, & was ashame to be seen with you, he wouldn’t be having date night with you But i feel if what he said really hurt you, cry in front of him & see what he has to say
Don’t blame the kids.
Ur just fat Couse u want to…
Your size does not determine your worth.
How sad that he did this . Makes me angry when people make ignorant comment’s about another’s weight. You’re beautiful no matter what your size. Maybe the hubby needs a reality check up side the head.
I can see why it upset you but maybe he also knew you would be upset if you knew how it looked on you? Men dont know how to speak correctly about things like that they are blunt and ruthless but not necessarily to be mean. Maybe he knew you wanted to look nice and the outfit wasnt flattering on you as it should have been and he was being honest with you so some stranger wouldnt say some dumb ish and embarass you while you are out or you see your reflection and ask him why he let you leave the house like that? … because thats what i do to my honey he knows to tell me if i look like crap before someone else see me out of this house or its his fault because i cant see my whole body and im 260lbs and a whole lot of insecure and a panic disorder. Try to see the positive in the situation he wants you to feel good and look good and be HEALTHY to be with him and the kiddos longer thats what my man says
IF my husband gained 100lbs I would be on him not just for his looks but his health.
I felt this in my soul. My first pregnancy I gained over 100 lbs. I then broke my leg 4 days after I brought my newborn home. So took me sooo much longer to see any weight loss. 100lbs is a lot. Dont take long to put it on but forever to take it off. You have every right to feel that way. Its natural but dont hate tour new body. Try to work with it and find clothes that flatter your new body in some way. Men are insensitive most times so tell him how u feel and tell him to keep that to himself unless you directly ask for his opinion.
Don’t feel bad! Go ketogenic, lose that extra weight and tell him he is getting old and you going to change him for a two twenties:face_with_raised_eyebrow: feel better!
I mean honestly, I would rather him be honest and tell me than to let me go out in something that makes me look completely awful. I think you’re overreacting.
I mean I would enjoy that honesty from my husband, it was harsh how he put it if he said it just like that which is hurtful, but if he loves you then I’m sure he was just looking out for you… 100 extra pounds is quite a bit and I’m sure you both know that… I’ll take honesty over a liar any day but maybe ask him to tell you in a nicer tone the next time something isn’t so flattering
I’m happy my spouse always tells me I would rather him say baby your rolls are hanging out then everyone think it it’s all in the way it’s said you yourself said you gained weight so he’s not in the wrong
Make a comment about his penis and stamina and when he gets mad tell him he’s overreacting asshat
Honesty without compassion is cruelty. That may have been his honest opinion but that was rude and tactless.
I can’t believe how many people are taking up for him! He should be your number one fan, especially since the weight came from carrying his kids. My husband tells me I’m beautiful every day. No matter how big or ugly I look. If I ask him “does this look dumb?” He will say “Maybe try a different shirt?” Never once in 15 years has he EVER told me anything close to being mean. I’m big. I know I am. You know what he loves me and would never dream of hurting my feelings, and I would never hurt his. Its unacceptable 100%!
Quit whining. Take care of yourself and go on a diet and get some exercise, look good and get a new man in your life that is not so rude.
Big people should not wear form fitting clothes. It only enhances the extra weight.
I guess he didn’t have a nice way to tell you.
Fuck him if he can’t value you for who you are especially after bringing two children into the world. I would one last time express how his reaction made you feel and that he is suppose to support you in your goals including weight loss. He has no clue what it feels like to give birth and have your body completely change not once but twice. If he doesn’t get it it’s time to move on and live your best life
What a jackass comment to make to you. Wonder how many pounds you could shed by losing his callous ass.
He probably did not mean it to come out harsh. I have always been a big girl… My heaviest was 330 pounds, I got back down to 230 and meds I was given (steroids for pain) took me back up to 300 in 6 months. It is hard to find nice looking clothes they are flattering. If you are on any medications especially birth control ask your pharmacist if any cause weight problems. Pharmacists know more about side effects than doctors, odds are part of the problem comes from medications unless you have developed diabetes ore thyroid issues.
I gotta say there are 2 sides to this! The one that everyone says. How dare he, so insensitive, that’s hurtful… but other side is if he gained that much weight you would be on him about it, make sure he didn’t go out in public looking bad, and you would be worried about his health… so why isn’t this equal? He’s just supposed to accept it?
Guess he’s got the perfect dad bod!! What a jerk!
The first sentence says it all. For one… shouldn’t matter what you weighed when you got together. Second. Having kids. He should admire the women’s body for doing such a beautiful thing. Don’t ever let someone make you feel less than beautiful. Ever. No matter the circumstances. I didn’t read past the first sentence.
He sounds like a prick and I dont think your i over reacting at all he needs to say sorry he married you all of you and you gave him kids if he doesnt know by now babys change the body then thats on him he doesnt need to be a ass hat about it its so easy for men to judge because they dont understand how we women go threw body changes when we are pregnat and after dont let his words get to you only your view of you should matter hes a jerk and your beautiful tell your aelf that everyday look in the mirror amd say I am beautiful even if you dont believe it at first you will after a while good luck momma and keep doing you You matter a d your feelings matter
No you are not wrong he was very insensitive
Sorry I’m correcting this common problem I’m seeing. Men do know how to speak correctly and know how to word things differently without being an complete ass about it. Now boys do not, because they are boys. Please don’t confuse the two and make excuses for these grown men or boys.
No matter what anyone on this thread says, your husband is not happy with your weight gain. Losing weight takes discipline and many do. I am one. I feel we as spouses have a responsibility to try our best to take care of ourselves which results in weight loss. All the advice in the world means nothing if your husband leaves you or cheats. It will be you who suffers and not the people on this thread giving bad advice. You can do it and should. You are worth it.
Ok to everyone here who is siding with the husband. Geez. If you are insecure about something you really would want your husband amplifying that insecurity? Gtfo and be honest with yourselves. Yes she’s admittedly said she gained weight does that mean he needs to be insensitive?? No!!! Your man should be your biggest fan. Your man is supposed to be your support system and lift you up when you’re feeling down. Not make you feel worse. Shame on your all for being cold when she’s obviously hurt.
And to OP. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m sorry he said it in such a hurtful manner. Tell him how it makes you feel. Set some boundaries for yourself. Don’t let anyone cross them. It’s one thing to support you in helping you get healthy it’s another to verbally bash you. Understand that if he doesn’t care about your feelings than that is a big red flag. Hugs mama.
Change is great, do for you!
I mean make a comment to him n wait to see how he reacts. Then explain how you felt ATTACKED and ashamed to even go out. He may need more then just a explanation to understand how it made you feel. If he doesn’t then maybe he’s the extra weight you need to get rid of🤷♀️
No, you’re not wrong to feel that way. He didn’t mind using your body to have his kids, did he?? These excuses others are giving about guys not thinking, at least he was honest, he probably didn’t mean it so harshly, etc. are straight CRAP. He’s a grown man. He should think before he speaks. There is no excuse for being so thoughtless towards someone you supposedly love.
I feel your pain in March of 2020 I started a ginger and lemon detox with one tablespoon of chia seeds I went from 230 now I weigh 186 I have lost it slowly but that’s what you want to do the ginger and lemon melts the fat and the chia seeds shrinks the belly my blood pressure is normal now no diet no exercise it really works
Wow. I’m sorry you are going through this. If your partner knows this is an insecurity for you then he wouldn’t be making comments like that.
Wtf! Your husband should lift u up not put u down. Get yourself a man that will tell you you are beautiful always. I feel the need to hug my husband now. The man hits on me and makes me feel beautiful no matter when.
That was a mean comment. I’ve heard alot of women have success with intermittent fasting. Especially younger women. I really hope he apologized for being hurtful.
Was he telling the truth? If so then you can’t be mad. Don’t you expect 100% honesty from him?
The next time he wears pants say “those pants show how small your penis is”
In the beginning of our relationship I would have been heartbroken but now that we have been together so long and know each other in and out it would not bother me at all… like tell me if I’m looking off don’t let me go out looking like a mess lol
Ma’am…Your husband is a Douchebag.
His treatment of you is abusive. He’s gaslighting you. Please dont even be romantic with him. I’d kick him out he’s not loving you or supporting you.
Wellll if he gained that much wouldn’t you tell him something? I mean not in a mean way but I’m sure you’d say a comment about a shirt that was too tight or not appealing right? Maybe he didn’t mean it in a bad way . I understand the way you feel and I might be bothered too by it but use that to push you to loose the weight. Do it for yourself and your kids.
Rude but don’t dwell on it. Do what makes you feel good about yourself.
5 ft. 1 in. and 230 lbs, is seriously overweight. Maybe it could have been worded better, or maybe it’s the fuel you need to lose some weight. I know I wouldn’t be attracted to my husband if he gained 100 lbs. I would still love him, but the physical would not be there.
He should be loving you even if you got. Little bigger
That stomach carried his children and back to back that will take a toll on you
I would definitely be very upset if I got told that
I sometimes hate my rolls
But sometimes I like them
He shouldn’t have said such mean words to a women who carried his children
Believe me. This works. I tried it years ago and never gained the weight back. You have to follow it step by step or you’ll only be wasting your money. NutriSystem. Lost over 100+ pounds and did not cheat. I was tempted but I held strong. NutriSystem. You have to give it a couple of months. Everything is done for you. 3 meals a day a d you get to choose from a menu and the food isn’t bad. If you’re really serious try it. Let me know how it’s going. You’re gonna luv yourself and you don’t have to tell anyone what you’re doing.
I believe in honesty. I also believe that people are attracted to what they are attracted to and shouldnt be called a$$holes just because they don’t like a certain body type. That being said, the WAY he said it was out of line and just fucking rude. I would be honest with him. I would remind him that you are doing your best and the pressure is not helping, nor are the comments about your weight and that he really hurt your feelings. COMMUNICATION.IS.KEY. in relationships. Also, you’re not worthless just because you have extra cushion for the pushin. It’s just fat. Have you heard of beachbody? they have an ondemand site with tons of workouts and a lot of them are fun.
Please try to get to a place where you are happy with yourself, as you are. Love yourself. He can take his opinions and shove them where the sun don’t shine.
Just do your dieting and exercising. Do it for yourself.
I myself would do a quick comeback with, wow I’m surprised that I actually have kids with you since you have such a
““Itsy Bitsy teeny weeny”” . And then tell him, babe, come on, you are being too sensitive. . That was wrong in all ways for him to say something like that to you. If you are trying to lose weight, then he should be supportive and definitely not shoot off a comment like that. You don’t have to tolerate anyone talking to you that way. I an so sorry that you had to experience something like that from someone who is supposed to love YOU.
I really would take it as tough love…lose the weight …and than leave after you thank him for the motivation🙃
Drop over 100 pounds INSTANTLY by throwing the whole dude away. What a piece. You wear what you wanna wear. If you wanna lose weight, do it girl! You wanna embrace your new body? EMBRACE THAT SHIT! Do what makes YOU happy and his opinion.
At least he was honest. You said you know and say you’re overweight, but he can’t say it? Use it as motivation to stay on track and get back in shape.
Throw the whole dude away… then throw a whole fan at him. I’m so sorry what an ass
have you not been married long? maybe he didnt mean it in a mean way. if hes normally blunt in the way he talks, then it would be him telling you its too tight or doesnt look good without sugar coating it. i’m straight forward and thats similarly how id say it to my husband if he was wearing a shirt too tight. same if it was reversed. im also same height and same with the weight gain with 2 kids. been married 11 years and are pretty direct with our words without hurt feelings
honestly and kindly, have nothing against people and friends of mine on the high side of weight, i think i am too at 5’6 and 165. but honestly and very kindly, at 5’1 and 230, even though u have been working really hard at losing weight, its still on the very chunky side, so what he says take it as a motivation and not as an offense. someone had to say it bcz sometimes its the only way we can get motivated to work even harder. my kids tell me sometimes, mom don’t wear that shirt bcz it makes u look like u struggled to get in it😂. now if he continously says it then he is completely wrong, bcz then it means that he’s just looking at that and not at who u really are. but it sounds like its something he doesn’t let get in the way, he may be stupid n blurted it out but its bcz it hurts him to see u struggling and wants to help. i’ve always thought that being overweight myself feels unhealthy. i mean he won’t be helping u if he tells u ur fine like that, if u know urself that’s not how u wanna b. just tell him how the way he said it made u feel and that if he wants to help that he can tell u in a different way, but u have to stop being so sensitive about it otherwise u won’t be helping urself at all. i will start my diet and excersise program myself next week. lets keep in touch thru this post or message me so we can work hard at it together. my goal is to get back at 140 how i was before i stopped driving 18 wheelers. i have gained all this weight and have been just sitting on it for 4 years. i hope u stay motivated! i may even start a fb group to track progress and give/receive motivation!! best of luck!
If I wore something unflattering I’d want to know. I’d want my husband to tell me in a nicer way. He’s mean. If my husband wore something unflattering I’d just let him wear it but I care more what the public thinks !
See, it’s okay for ME to point them out. He may absolutely NOT.
Do YOU refer to them as your fat rolls? Do you complain about them often? We say things about ourselves and it’s okay but we take offense when others say the same thing. He may thought saying that wouldn’t hurt if you also say it. Or… he could have just had a jerk moment only you know!
Okay mama hear me out. When I gained weight my husband was afraid to say something in fear of hurting my feelings and I wish he said something when I now gained the weight and was still reasonably active. He said nothing. I had to hear it from others and from my clothes not fitting right. Now I’m fighting to lose weight and I have PCOS. My husband honestly doesn’t care but it bothers me. This is not my weight goal. I’m 256. I was 95 pounds and 3 kids later 265 pounds is too much for me. If you’re comfortable in your skin then good and hubby should know it but if you’re not be glad hubby said something to you because his words could act as motivation instead of as an insult
1st. Your Not Worthless…calm down and make your weight work for you…before you know it you may loose some weight but you need to stop the hate of yourself…and he’s not going to have any one better than you…hold your head up high and be happy…but be healthy…Love ya
No you’re not overreacting, that was very insensitive the way your husband blurted that out.
I recently lost 28 kilos doing the keto diet, if you’re serious about wanting to lose some weight I would look into it more. Such an easy diet, no fuss that really works!! Once I was fat adapted I could only eat one meal a day (OMAD)
Going by a lot of the posts on the keto page I follow the more weight you have to lose the quicker is melts away. One lady lost 47 kilos in 9 months!!
Remember, losing weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise so get your diet under control first. Good luck for the future and I really hope your husband learns how to criticise in a nicer manner.
When i got with my bf a little over a year ago i was 150-160 im now 200. Im also 5’1. Hes never said something like that but i still feel like he doesnt like it. My bf just tells me he loves me for me but will support me if i want to lose the weight. Im sure he didnt mean to say it that way… Guys dont think about what they say to us, dont help when our feelings get hurt easy when it comes to things they say. If anything turn it into motivation. And try to talk to him how how you feel about what he said and how he feels about you. It might hurt to hear but it could help. Communication is key.
I mean… that’s a dick thing to say but also, if you’re saying you put on 120 pounds (almost double)… you dont look the same as you did when you got together. And everyone has a type, and maybe bigger girls aren’t his cup of tea 🤷 idk there’s a million things that could be at play here.
I think your only move would be to have an honest discussion with him about it. Tell him how you feel, and how he makes you feel. But not in an accusatory tone, more of a “I feel like… When you…” Or something along those lines. But I also don’t think he said what he said to hurt your feeling, especially if he’s now saying you’re overreacting. Was probably more of a, “hey just so you know…” And not omg you’re fat im not going anywhere with you looking like that. Which is probably how you took it, because thats exactly how I would have taken it
And good for you for exercising and losing 20lbs. Keep up the good work!!
The thing I’m learning is… you have every right to feel any way you want. Nobody gets to tell you how to feel about anything. I’d feel super self conscious and heart broken if my husband said something like that to me too. My heart goes out to you
Honest question… Where they showing? As a bigger girl myself (5’3", 230 lbs) it’s something I’d like to know before I leave, especially of I’m feeling like I’m cute. He could have been trying to help you, just no tact. My husband is the same way, that’s the only reason I’m thinking this way.
Men don’t always have the best way at saying things . I’m sure he meant well by it . I would be upset bc I’m an emotional person but I would also want my hubby to tell me the truth with things and not sugarcoat it .
I think ots hilarious and messed up all you women on here putting another woman’s feelings on blast like they are warranted. Tell me any of you would get dressed up for date night and your husband say that shows all your fat rolls…and any one of.you think it was cool. Stop acting above. I’m not overweight in the least, but if my husband said thay to me I would feel the same way! So would all of you acting too cool right now. Be a real women and lift another one…not act like its no big deal, because you prob aren’t overweight and know it wouldn’t happen to you:woman_facepalming:
Keep in mind guys are more straight forward and will typically tell you whatever they’re thinking without sugar coating it.
Think of it this way:
He and you both know you’ve gained weight. If he isn’t constantly making comments about it then I’d wager he was literally just stating the obvious and didn’t have any malicious intent behind it.
I rather my husband tell me - we are HONEST. I ask him his opinion - and he will lmk if something is too tight. Or doesn’t fit properly. If he’s still with you, and loves you, and is intimate with you- I don’t see an issue. He is just being honest. Isn’t that what we all ask for? Honesty?
Have you been to the doc. for checkups? See what the doc and blood work say? You could have underlying issues that are causing weight issues. Hormones, thyroid, postpartum…
Giiiirl that isn’t cool. But I do agree with whoever said guys don’t think before they speak so he probably said it to let you know what you would look like. But on a side note, look up Code Red. It is a no excercise program. I have been on it since May 22 and I’ve almost hit my 20 pound weight loss mark. And I’ve lost 19 inches off my body. It has changed my life.
Your husband is an arsehole. Yes, he is entitled to find slimmer people more attractive, but he is not entitled to make you feel awful, intentionally about the way you look.
My husband would never comment on my weight in a negative fashion as he knows I’m not happy in my own skin having had child(ren) and am pregnant currently.
Does he know how much he’s affected you? Is he hoping being a dick will make you lose weight quicker?
Please remember to lose weight for you, not him. Make yourself happy, if he doesn’t like it, that’s his choice.
The doghouse is a thing🙃
That’s very bad of him !! Love yourself.
I mean did the shirt show all your fat rolls? I’m 5’2 and when I got up to 160 after my pregnancy I felt huge and got a new wardrobe… I wouldn’t want anyone to let me go out looking like the Michelin without telling me lmao
Hes a dick. I have a saying I can call myself fat names but noone else will because then there’s issues. Fuck that.
It was an unkind comment. Sometimes husbands just don’t think. I got dressed up the other day and instead of saying You look great or beautiful my hubs said So good to see you not looking so housewifey. It hurt my feelings but I know what he meant. I said “gee thanks.” He apologized.
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. I would be so hurt too.
Everyone’s body changes with having kids! He should be your biggest supporter. He could be encouraging like let’s take the kids for a walk. Not " I can see your fat rolls". MFer I can see our divorce! Also, get your confidence back. That scale is just a number. Not a calculation of your worth or your beauty. But personally, I will not put up with any negativity or shaming.
Ummm fat rolls come with having these douche bags children. Tell him he don’t satisfy you sexually anymore. Like you can’t feel him. Ask him if he shrunk. Grrrr this makes me so mad. Men (not all) are really that dumb. The good guys always wonder how these idiots can win a woman’s heart.
Girl we are the same! I’m 5’1 and weigh just about the same as you! I totally get it. You in Ontario? let’s have some wine together and bitch! I workout EVERYDAY and watch what I eat. I had my levels checked cause I just can’t loose the weight it’s so hard for us shorter girls have a harder time! Look up Sarah Taylor fitness shes a plus size trainer also she does a lot of self love groups! She’s amazing
Listen, guys can be dumb and say some messed up shit. For example my bf told me my boobs looked funny in a dress. Damn right it hurt my feeling but… He was right. I went and looked in the mirror and it was not cute. So even though he hurt my feelings I’m glad he was honest. Hell, I yell him if he looks dumb/bad, but that’s just us!!
Well I know it was hurtful but id rather have someone tell me my clothes r not flattering rather than lie 2 me.
You are 5’1 and 250 lbs.! Girl you aren’t fat, you are obese. Don’t use having children as your excuse for being overweight. He’s telling you the truth. Do something about your weight, before you start developing illnesses, like diabetes, liver disease, etc.
My husband tells me “I like a girl with a little weight, skinny is gross” and it makes me feel awful too. 5ft here 225 as of this morning (fluctuate 5 or so pounds up and down). I use my weight to powerlift. Got a new deadlift PR of 315 just last week actually. I also was the 120-130 pound chick until I gained 100 pounds with my little one. Will be 5 in Aug and I’m at the same weight I was when I had her (dropped to 160 and then depression hit a little over 2 years ago so I gained it all back and struggling to keep it off). Use your weight to do cool sh** and your confidence will rise and weight will drop. (My max weight was 250)
My bf use to keep telling me and my family that I’m fat… saying to me that when we met I was skinny and I’m getting fat. I told him he dosent need to remember me if you love me my weight won’t be a problem…last time he told me that