My husband made a comment about my weight: Am I overreacting?

I have gained weight since I had two kids back to back in 2018/2019. Where I use to be 130/140, I’m now 230. I know I’m bigger, and at 5”1, it definitely shows. Anyways, this weekend was date night with my husband, and I got a new outfit for the occasion. However, when I walked into our living room with the top on the quickly said, “that shirt shows all your fat rolls.”I’m not a crier, but this made me instantly cry every time I think about it, I tear up. It’s absolutely killed me, but my husband thinks I’m overreacting (like I’m not an emotional person, but I am with my weight which he knows this). I’ve been dieting and exercising (I was 250), and I know I am bigger. I’m trying to get this weight off. Am I wrong to feel this way? I mean it when I say it’s literally made me feel absolutely worthless.

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I’ve struggled with my weight too, but you know what if you know you want to change something you are already one step ahead, it’s not up to him to passive aggressive either, I’m just curious has he changed too?

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not at all girl, look i’m no where near what one would call over weight, i just had my 5th kid 16 weeks ago and the fact that i still haven’t lost the baby weight. Thankful i have a wonderful husband and support that keeps telling me not to worry its still early. but for me the older i get the harder it is to get off and the more i freak out. unfortunately there is not a tiny women in my family over the age of fourty so the idea of getting bigger scares the crap out of me. every woman in my family is bigger w/ tons of health problems and physical issues as a result. so even though others don’t make me feel bad, i look in the mirror and want to cry myself each day that passes and i haven’t lost more of the weight.

the thing is it doesn’t matter what are weight is, or what or porportions are. as humans (men too as i have met plenty) we already suffer w/ confidence in how we look. we usually see what others see and more, we don’t need anybody… especial some one we love pointing it. even more so when they know we are working on those things. i’m beyond sorry you had to go thru this. i know men don’t always think before they speak and things come off way worse then that are meant too. and even though their words are meant to be helpful that can come across extremely painful.

just remember to keep your chin up girl. and congrats on your already success in losing some of the weight. its a struggle and sometimes seems almost pointless but you got this girl. don’t look at where you are but instead look where you came from and then focus on where your going <3

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Ohhh, sweetie! I’m so sorry to hear that! Men don’t understand the changes our bodies go through and they can be very insensitive! But please start for being thankful for your body and understand there’s nothing wrong with it, but you can also improve it, and it’ll take time! So make whatever changes make YOU feel better, and don’t worry about anything else! You can do it!!! Do whatever you want to do for you! I know his words hurt you, but you’re the one that knows your spouse… Did he say it with malice? Or do you rrally thunk you’re overreacting because you weren’t expecting him to be so blunt? In any case, I do hope he apologized!! Be happy and learn to accept yourself, because whatever you don’t like, you can correct it! So don’t worry too much!

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He’s RUDE & inconsiderate for saying that. He could have stated things withOUT making you even MORE self-conscious…What an asshole.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband made a comment about my weight: Am I overreacting?

You are not wrong! That was so insensitive!

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That was so rude. Your not overreacting :heart:

No you are not over reacting… that was just an asshole thing to say especially after having 2 of his children back to back. You are beautiful, your body is beautiful just for what is was able to do and over come. Hold that chin up mama :purple_heart:

That’s very insensitive. Someone who loves you shouldn’t make you feel that way. Props to you momma for working on you.

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He could have said it nicer “that shirt isn’t flattering babe”

His wording was poor & insensitive.

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Men don’t think before they speak. He could’ve just kept his mouth shut but he also may have not meant it in the horrible way your thinking. Your not overreacting by any means.

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What he said was thoughtless and mean … You are not overreacting at all … I am so sorry … Hugs :heart:

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You are definitely not wrong! I am very self conscious about my weight as well, especially after 3 kids not too far apart. But men don’t think, and they definitely don’t view things the same way as women. You’re not wrong for being upset, but I wouldn’t jump the gun saying he’s a bad husband or doesn’t find your attractive. Just express to him that it really, really hurt your feelings and that he could’ve said it wasn’t flattering to your body in a nicer way.

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I would feel awful. I hope he comes to realize how terrible that comment made you feel :cry:

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This was super insensitive. But men can be that way they don’t realize. Maybe he was trying to be helpful? If something doesn’t look good I would want someone to tell me BUT In a much more tactful manner.

If he can’t accept you at your weight now then does he truly deserve you hun? A man who truly loves you would never say that to you regardless of anything. You aren’t overreacting and he’s definitely in the wrong cause of what he said.

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Your not wrong hun. If your going to loose weight do it for you, not for someone else. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Sorry if it makes him uncomfortable be proud of who you and show off those so called rolls. I have been overweight since I got pregnant at 17. I look at it this way if someone don’t wanna look at me because I’m bigger then they can look somewhere else.

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That’s something a complete asshole would say. I know he’s your husband but that’s not something someone who loves you would say

I’d be really upset too x

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That was very rude. Sorry man.

That’s awful of him to say that. He could have definitely said it or approached it all differently and especially after you cried, he should have stepped back and realized.

That was insensitive. He could of used better wording. I don’t think you’re overreacting.

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He shouldn’t have said that… especially if you’re actually trying your best to get the weight off. His comment was extremely unkind and insensitive.

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You are not wrong he shouldn’t have said such a thing … it doesn’t matter about size or color or anything like that it matters about personality and the love you have for somebody . Girl just stay positive and keep your head up stay doing what your doing because your doing great !

You are not wrong for feeling this way. Men tend not to think before they speak. I am sorry he hurt your feelings. Great job on the weight you have lost. :heart:

I feel your pain although it wasn’t my partner it was my 4 years old daughter, tonight as I was tucking her into bed she laughed a crazy giggle n went mummy why are you getting fat :frowning: I’m only 9 and a half stone but through an illness I have a large stomach, it killed me I know she doesn’t understand but it hurt xx

Tell him his underwear hide the fact that he has a dock :woman_shrugging:t3:

Don’t feel bad girl, every mom goes through something similar at some point, as long as your healthy and happy that’s what matters, not the number on the scale!

Apple cider vinegar with the mother take it three times a day I lost 150 lbs in months

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:sob: I feel your pain girl. I used to be 130 and after my daughter I got up to 250. I’m now at 230 so I’m in the same exact boat as you. Luckily my hubby hasn’t said anything like that but that would make me feel awful. I am so sorry. You aren’t overreacting but if I were you, I’d use that to my advantage. It can help you to lose the weight

You’re definitely not wrong for feeling that way AT ALL. That absolutely would have made me cry. Not a nice thing to say

He’s a dick dump him

Just let it motivate you to lose more weight , and then be like what fat rolls :kissing_heart:

that was RUDE. he totally owes you an apology for that comment.

I know he wouldn’t be getting of good shit for a long time.

First I am sorry for him, second you got this but do it safely and at ur pace and if you want love you girl

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Absolutely not. It’s his job to be your safe place. Y’all both realize your situation and that you’re obviously trying to get it off. It’s not like you’re just slumming around with a jumbo bag of chips not doing anything about it. He said something hurtful and needs to acknowledge it. 20 pounds is something to be proud of! Keep getting it mama you’ll get there.

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Unless he’s Prince Charming he needs to shut his mouth.

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He’d be my ex husband

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It’s might just be my house but we don’t hide well placed “fat” comments, if I look bad in an outfit I expect my partner, parents , and child to tell me why. I know I’m a big-ish girl, meaning their comments are truth. I can’t be mad at the truth. That said you know he spoke without thinking first, I don’t know him to know if he had malicious intent in his words, only you do. If that’s not normally him I’d let it go.

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You are so right and that was a cruel thing to say

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You should have [email protected]*# his mouth good for him. That was very insensitive of him to say.

As a man he should have known better. That was an asshole move. But men say stupid shit without thinking about the woman’s feelings first. They’re just stupid.

Oh I’d be upset you’re not over reacting and I know your struggle. I went from 120 to 210 with my first son I lost weight but couldn’t get past 150 now I’m pregnant again and I’m worried I’m going to blow up again. I don’t have much advice just I know what you’re going through and I wish you the best.

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All depends…are you feather - light or heavyweight??

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Definitely a comment he should’ve kept to himself.

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No honey you need to drop about 200 pounds. And I promise you you’ll feel a lot better. Meaning his ass

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My husband literally kinda did the same thing. We just bumped uglys and I was pretty much naked and he looked at me and said we needed to stop eating out so much and lose some weight. I was at 265 and now at 227. I was pissed. But more so hurt. The following day was horrible. I literally wanted nothing todo with him. So you are completely right to have the feelings you do especially having kids! This is the biggest I’ve been sense having kids. At this point I’m losing weight for myself. To make me happy. Congratulations on the weight you have lost cause this isn’t easy. Especially being a mom. You got this :heart:

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My husband would never say those things to me.

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Throw the whole man away!! :put_litter_in_its_place:

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Date night would have been canceled at that point. Absolutely rude.

if he said it he ment it, dont fool yourself it bothers him and he is to afraid to say it

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I’m sorry there is no excuse that makes that acceptable!! What kind of horrible person does that?! If he can’t love you at 230 then he shouldn’t be there. You are not over reacting at all. I used to weigh 89 and now weigh 157 (was 165). I’m only 4’11" but my husband tells me every day how beautiful I am! You need a supportive spouse and he obviously isn’t it! What is that going to teach your children?!

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That was a very insensitive thing for him to say. As your husband, he should be accepting and loving to you no matter what your size. Also, congrats on the weight you have lost so far. I also gained weight after back to back pregnancies and it’s not easy to lose that weight. Just make sure the weight loss is for you, not for anyone else.

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My husband made a similar comment because I gained weight from psych meds. I felt terrible

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Ugh, I would have rocked his world by pointing out each and every flaw he has! Yes I know that is not the mature way to handle it but fuck that

F him! I would leave him.

I’m sorry that’s really fucked up and he owes you an apology he’s supposed to be your husband he’s supposed to support you through the good and the bad doesn’t sound like he’s doing that!

that is horrible.
i wouldn’t even be able to look at him.

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Im sorry he said that to you. That was mean and hurtful.you have already lost 20lbs.congrats on that!!! Thats big! Tell him from now on if he cant say something encouraging to just be quiet and say nothing

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And he looks like an Adonis, I doubt it

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So rude! I wouldn’t of went on the date with him that night after that comment.

He’s a pos :upside_down_face: sorry not sorry

What do men think will happen? Y’all can’t come at your spouse in a more loving SUPPORTIVE way to bring her health to her attn? Like wtf

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Fk that. I am so sorry he said that to you! Its always easier said than done . DRESS UP AND GO OUT BY YO SEEEEELF!!! If you have girlfriends have a night out . Boost yourself by remembering your body made precious blessings . You’re losing weight, and sticking to it that is hard work and you’re doing the thang! And men are fucking retarded with what they allow to fall out of their mouths .
If you’re in Co we can go have a mamma day! Just saying !

You’re husband is weak, in every aspect of his vows, hit him where it hurts, start working out and begin your new life with a gym family, text hot guys all the time harmlessly, and when he mouths off again hit him with the ol TRIPLE H suck it cross hands and walk out the door for a protein and caffeine smoothy loaded with alcohol

I mean, you can easily lose about 180-250, depending on your husbands weight​:woman_shrugging::joy: I’d kick his ass to the curb

There was no reason for him to voice his concern in that way. He could have brought up HIS issue in a much more sensitive tone and setting. I’m sorry that happened.

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Men don’t think there words hurt. They don’t know how to say it better. I should say some men. I gained weight because of health issues and my hubby has been great. I don’t understand how having babies puts weight on. Not being nasty. Everyone I know that had kids didn’t. Srsly asking. Again not being nasty.

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Ugh some people can be such idiots! You are definitely not overreacting! I would be devastated too. What’s worse is he’s downplaying what he said. Congrats on the 20lb loss! :raised_hands:t3: Keep doing you! You are worth it - not worthless :green_heart:

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he is entitled on his opinion maybe he thought it to say as that was not the greatest outfit for you cause it accentuated the non great parts. i have 4 kids and gained weight to… i rather my husband is honest than lying to me… i ate my way to fatness and now i am going to be a barbie girl again… FOR ME. would you rather he lied that is the question… man are blunt and so am i, i want myself and partner to look our bests and feel our bests. workout and you do you for you

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And I’m sure he’s sporting the perfect body!!! I get the same thing when mine literally looks like he is 2 years pregnant. Screw him… be you be happy within yourself and no matter what believe in yourself and who you are

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He supposed to be your safe spot. A place that brings you comfort… not heartache. You are not overreacting! Women’s bodies go through hell and back carrying and birthing our children. If he can’t appreciate your body…. Then maybe he doesn’t deserve it.

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You should lose weight… all 160-200 pounds(?). By dropping that rude husband of yours. :hugs:

First off, that not right he’s being mentally and verbally abusive… not good, 2nd have you had your Dr. Check your hormones that could cause alot what your going through also if you touch your skin and your finger or hand leave a mark that stay longer then disappearing, it’s water weight, you can have your Dr. Check you for excess water retention… water pills over the counter work too… cut back on salt intake and sugar, eat meat and veggies, little bit of carbs, it’s all about balance… drink lots of water and you’ll start loosing the water weight…

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That was cruel of him. There is never any reason to bring up someone’s weight like that. He sounds like he’s gaslighting now too so instead of him taking responsibility for his being rude and thoughtless, he wants you to feel worse for overreacting. He’s WRONG. I’d ask myself who am I really married to?

Well, of course it hurts you, what a horrible comment. There was no reason for that comment, other than he wanted to be cruel. I’m sure he’s aware that you are already trying to lose weight, seeing as you’ve lost 20lbs (which is a huge achievement by the way, you go girl). I would definitely let your feelings out and tell him how he made you feel. You are LITERALLY doing the only thing he can, he can keeps his unwanted, useless, trash comments to himself

I’m sorry you went this, you shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable in your skin and he shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable in it either. I know exactly how you feel and since I wasn’t married I left my son’s father while I was pregnant for doing the exact same thing. I hope you can feel comfortable in your skin because no matter what you’re beautiful and your weight does not define your beauty. Keep your head up, your body is beautiful it gave life to 2 amazing and precious babies if he can’t see that, then that’s his loss.

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No that was shitty and a cheap shot

I couldnt even have a fun night after that …hope you told him heez ugly AND fat

That was a mean thing to say. Flip your savage switch girl! Unless he’s walking around looking all GQ with an extraordinarily exceptional package, he needs to watch his tone. F about and find out. He might get HIS feelings hurt.

Just make sure you don’t have more babies again for now cause you will end up adding more weight.

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F him. But get your thyroid looked at

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You’re not overreacting. Sorry he is doing this and making you feel bad :frowning: i gained a bunch of weight out of no where and it was my thyroid

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Your reaction was an emtional reaction and it was real. No one can tell you how to feel, especially when it comes to YOUR weight and appearance.
You are not over-reacting, but rather he is not taking responsiblity for his behavior. He needs to apologize and learn to know when to keep quiet.
If he cannot be supportive, he’s pulling you down.

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That was a completely inappropriate and downright heartless comment. I understand significant others commenting gently on an outfit not being flattering, but “fat” comments are (sorry, not sorry) verbal abuse. It is degrading and hurtful, not constructive or helpful. If my husband EVER said a comment like that to me, I would lose my shit. I’ve heard fat comments all my life and it doesn’t help people or motivate people. It humiliates. So, my best advice is sit him down and completely explain how the comment made you feel and how degrading it was, whether he meant it that way or not. Tell him if he is supposed to be there to support you and maybe give him some examples of less degrading comments to use. Like “I’m not sure that top compliments your figure” or “The cut of those slacks might be off”. Something constructive and made out of caring and love. I hope you are able to get through to him. I’m hope he is willing to listen to your genuine and VERY VALID feelings over his comment. Many hugs to you <3

I’m so sorry for the very unkind horrible things he said to you. No you are not over reacting your husbands an ass! He should be ashamed of himself. No one deserves that.

Girl! He has no right to say that to you!!! Unfortunately, men don’t think before they speak. My husband would still be knocked out if he ever said that to me… I would talk to him about when you can in a calm non emotional manner about how him saying things about your weight are not helpful but actually hurt you and your self esteem

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I’m sorry his comment made you feel this way it was extremely rude. I don’t think men think before they speak. Congratulations on your weight loss and making changes in your lifestyle to better your health. I would try speaking with a health care provider about getting some blood work done. After having my daughter some thing were out of wack for me and once I fixed that everything seemed to go back to normal. Best wishes hun❤️

From a woman who has played with both sides of the scales best advice I can give you ? You need to be happy with you and I mean truly say to yourself see this body its amazing I’ve carried and brought kids into the world with this body when you actually master this skill of truly loving yourself the comments will not even faze you you will knock the weight off without even noticing emotional abuse is real abuse so dont let someone get into your head !! I’ve lost over 16 stone naturally and neither side of the scale made me feel beautiful …only I did eventually and now I’m curvier and I’m living for it … it starts with you!! … he just sounds dragged up to even think like that towards a woman he should have seen you not the outfit!!

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I think intent and impact were way off here. I dont know him but my husband says things not to put me down but to let me know things i dont see

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Next time you see him say man those pants really show off your extremely small penis…see how he reacts to that.

You won’t be happy till you loose the weight and honestly men have no care of this insecurity. I had a similar situation had my son then had twin sons I was 320 lbs at my heaviest. I’m 180 now after gastric sleeve surgery I’m way happier. And he has nothing today now besides he’s scared I’m gonna cheat. Never have and never will but he knows he was mean. So anyway focus on u

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He didn’t need to say that. If he knows that you’ve been working on dieting and losing the weight, that makes his comment even more rude. And of all people your husband should already know that you’re having a hard time and should be supportive. It kills me when I hear guys saying this stuff when they know damn well they’re not model material themselves

He definitely could’ve worded it better, or not said shit. Your feelings are valid and you’re not overreacting. Every person handles things said or done differently, but it doesn’t make it wrong.

You are COMPLETELY justified. Your husband is supposed to be honest with you 100% of the time, however, unless you asked his opinion, he shouldn’t have commented. And even if you did ask his opinion, he could have phrased it differently. When I met my husband, I weighed 155lbs, I’m now bouncing between 195-200lbs. Every time I mention my weight, he tells me to shut it, and usually smacks my butt. He should love you no matter what, especially after giving him 2 kids. Kids do horrible things to our bodies!

I don’t think you are wrong to feel that way because he definitely could have said it different. But would you be upset if he said that shirt was not flattering? Because even when I was close to 300 pounds I want my husband to tell me when I look not so good in something

Yeah, that’s not right. That’s abuse

I understand why your sad but you need to use that as motivation to lose the weight. Fasting is the only thing that worked for me

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I always ask my husband if a shirt shows my fat rolls. So if mine said that, it would be because he heard it from me. If that’s the case then no you don’t need to be upset. Now if not and he was truly being mean then yeah I’d be upset.

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Tell him my fat rolls can be fixed but little dicks cant

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