Man I feel like I am an idiot and I feel like I am not good enough for my husband… so story time I been married to my husband for 4 years during those 4years we have been on a rough road already we have 4kids together… last year we had been fighting a lot having arguments all the time… well while my husband was out of town he cheated on me with a person we were living with (she to worked in the same company) he lied and lied and lied about everything but my intuition was telling me different at this time we only had 3 but I fell pregnant which brings us to our 4th. I ended up bring his mom into this and tried to get him to open up about it but there stories weren’t adding up mind you I was pregnant so I made my whole family move I gave my husband the choice of coming with or staying with the homewrecker. He chose me and his family.I asked her why she did what she did she tells me I don’t like the way you talk to him. I asked her are you his baby mama are you his wife she said no to both. Then why is it any of your business. She told us to move out right there but it was more directed at me that’s when he was given that choice to move. So anyways I had called his boss told him everything and why my husband is quitting… we moved I was 12 weeks pregnant when we drove to the destination state. Almost lost the baby… but didn’t… now skip forward til now so baby is now almost 6months old. My husband just recently told me after telling me he never slept with her he did sleep with her. He made me feel like I was crazy but I turned out that I was right… then after him telling me he told me he had to tell me so we can “start over” and that I was his soulmate because we went threw alot of shit… I don’t know if I am writing this to vent because he doesn’t wanna talk about this or what because right now I can’t stay out of my head oh also forgot to mention there is a possibility that he fathered a child but not a hundred percent sure due to she was a h*e she was sleeping with 6 dudes including my husband. Worst part is I know her bf that thinks the kid is his should I open that can of worms or just leave it
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband may have gotten another woman pregnant: Advice?re
Tell her boyfriend What is going on
Tell her bf and also kick your hubby out trust is gone willnever be the same
You gotta move on with your lifw
Did I read this right? Girl move on my god. Love yourself. Let her have him. He didn’t choose you he is lying. He chose you to make you be quiet. He will do it again and again.
Ew. If he did father the child, but is willing to just let another man raise it…
Girl…
Seems like you’re blaming her more than your husband, who made a commitment to you. Get it right. HE fucked up. Not her. She has no obligation to you. Refocus your anger and hurt onto him.
“Should I open the can of worms or just leave it”— grow tf up. Focus on yourself and your family. Either give him another chance or don’t but move tf on for yourself and your kids either way.
Well sounds like u need to deal with ur prob first. Uve got a piece of shit hubby. Then maybe let homeboy know he needs a paternity test for his kid bc his girls a slut
He is definitely not your soulmate girl, move on.
You were right and have every right to know any all you want. At the end of the day you are hurting more now because it was finally confirmed and he is feeling relieved because it is finally out and he isn’t hiding it.
You have every right to be hurt, angry, sad, or even leave if you feel the desire. If he can’t listen to your points and answer your questions after finally being honest then that’s a red flag
Open the can wide open and move on!! You can do bad all by yourself
End it. Pack his bags and tell him to leave. Not only has your husband cheated, he is potentially a father to another child.
I think you already involved too many people in your relationship. Take your kids, leave him and move on. There’s literally billions of 
out there!!! Don’t keep chewing on the same nasty one!
Once a cheater always a cheater. He will not change. You are not the problem he is. Your decision if you want to live like this or not. You know what you need to do, you just have to be brave enough to do it.
No. You tell the bf ! Wth is wrong with these people. Don’t make this man raise a child that potentially isn’t his. Let him decide that based on the TRUTH !
Eww. He’d be gone idgaf. Cheating is a no go for me. End of relationship. That’s a whole mess
I would have just left him there 
Drop it. Move on. You’ll be much happier. It’s harder done than said. But just focus on yourself and your kids. All the rest will fall into place.
Oh my God I think my head just sprung around in a circle and fell off.
If you were his “soulmate” he would have never stepped out on you period… You’re just wasting your time at this point, I don’t understand how anyone can stay with a trash can like him. He doesn’t care that you love him, 
.
Do you need to know for yourself? If so, get your husband to get a paternity test. And assess what the whole thing means to your relationship. If you want to stay, get therapy, both by yourself and as a couple.
I would never want to be with a man like that . I would rather be single than be with a man who keeps making a fool of me . He does not love or respect you .
Nah. Idc what the situation is. If my man got another chick pregnant I’m out. I’m not dealing with all the hurt and drama that is gonna come from having to deal with the home wrecker and her kid.
You need to get ride of him an Focus , ON YOUR CHILDREN N YOURSELF IT WOULD BE BYE BYE IF THAT WAS ME …
………done 
……… move on.
Your husband is a hoe. He’s the one you should be blaming not just her
Who ever you believe in above, they have different plans for you. The faster you can run the faster you’ll be happy again. The more you screw around in this the more lessons you’ll have to learn and more therapy you’ll need for all this trauma that will be hard to fix
Seriously
Why do you want to be with someone who lied to you for so long about sleeping with someone else and now there could be a baby?
If you wanna stay thats fine but y’all need therapy to figure this out not the internet.
Have you been tested for STD’s? That is the very first step you should take. Next, why are you with this fucking loser
Even if you stay you will never trust him, and there is obviously no reason to. Once they cheat they won’t stop permanently, they just hide it better.
Ummm BYE! Life’s too short
Open the can of worms but I’d be kicking him to the curb. No man is worth losing trust in yourself.
Leave it all behind and move forward. Focus on your family. That and only that should be your priority !
Your husband is the home wrecker not her 
GET THE F out and away from this toxicity! Don’t allow this in your childrens life either. Show them that you deserve better and that when they become do age they know what NOT TO PUT UP WITH!
Leave leave leave, I know it’s hard for you but it will be better in the long run.
I tried for thirty years I wish I had left at year 2!!
Open the can of worms! Force a dna test to clear your husband if it’s not his and leave his pos self alone!! Wow. You gave chance after chance for him to come clean and he just continued to lie!
One thing I’ll never do is doubt my gut feeling ever again!
Once a cheater always a cheater. 
kept the whole man. 
woooooof
Honestly it’s time to leave pull yourself together. Things will never be right after the cheating. Especially if there’s a new baby. Your always going to have that in the back of your head.
Open it!!! He has every right to know. What he does with the information is on him.
You have to decide if you want to rebuild a new marriage with this man.
Accountability is the first step, if he can own every single decision he made, then it’s a sign he might be willing to do the work to rebuild. But it’s gonna take years, in all honesty, and you have to decide if you and him are up for it.
Nobody can decide that but you.
You will NEED to be in counseling. It’s basically a non negotiable, if he fights that, it’s a red flag.
You need to educate yourself about how to enforce boundaries, if he fights those, it’s a red flag.
You need to decide what YOU need to see from him in order to rebuild trust.
All of this needs to be communicated about.
You guys need open and honest communication.
Your old marriage is dead, the man you thought you were married to is dead, you have to decide to move forward new with this new man.
If all else fails, you need to know what you will do if it happens again, otherwise you’ll get in a cycle of doubting yourself and giving him the freedom to screw people over.
This was exhausting to read. Cheese and rice.
Unless she tries to come after.your husband for support…that mess is hers and stay the hell out of it.
As for your husband and your relationship…tell him unless he is willing to go to couples counseling and actually discuss the issues, then nothing has changed or will change.
If he wants it to work he and you will have to work on it… if either of you will not do this…then there is point in staying together.
He is not going to stop. He wants to have a bed to lay in, food in his belly and a roof over his head and be able to play the field to and he daggum sure does not want to have to pay child support on 4 kids. So his thinking is if i stay i dont have to pay child support and i can still be secretive and have fun to
- No, don’t involve the bf. The baby may very well be his and it is none of your business. You don’t know who your husband was sleeping with and you don’t actually know who she has been sleeping with. You have suspicion, not facts. Leave it alone. And quit having kids with this cheater.
So SHE’S the problem?
Leave it. Then sign up for counseling. For both of you. You both need therapy. For God’s sake… BIRTH CONTROL !!!
I would leave him. In a heartbeat. I don’t tolerate liars and cheaters.
Honestly girl you need to keep your mouth shut besides to your husband. You shouldn’t have called his mom. You shouldn’t have been the one to call his boss. And you shouldnt be reaching out to her bf! Because if it IS that mans baby then there you go starting drama which is childish. You need to quit involving others in YOUR marriage. You need to move on tbh. Like divorce move on…
It will be difficult and hard but I think it’s best to leave. Doesn’t seem like things will get better with this person. You are worth more and should be treated so. I left a 15 year relationship and I’m thankful that God help me do so. As time passes it will get better and you will be so happy that you left. There comes a time and point where you have to stand your ground and let no one treat you how they want. That person does not care when you truly care for someone you care about their whole well-being. It will be harder with kids but that too will pass and get easier just don’t give up and give yourself time. God be with you because he is our healer and comforter
Keep in mind, that could be your children’s sibling. I would convince him to get a paternity test done, so you can move forward accordingly.
He at the very least, needs to provide financial and medical assistance, and if he waits too long for that, he could end up with thousands owed in back payments, just because he didn’t act fast enough.
Good luck
Ain’t just the homewreckers fault dear:sweat_smile:
just leave. Once a cheater always a cheater:ok_hand:
They’re both the home wreckers not just her, he’s the one that’s married to you and who decided to cheat on you, he’s not going to stop so you’re better off on your own with your kids, you can do it and you deserve better
The life you see before you, is the life you will most likely keep living.
Love yourself and your children more. 
Ummm…SHE’S the home-wrecker??? You had better check yourself… you told his boss…IS HE A CHILD??? OMG…feel bad for all the kids.
Get therapy!!! He may have cheated… but, just, WOW!!!
You gonna call your husband a garden tool too? Hippopotamus.
Your husband is also a h*e. Stop putting all the blame and hate in her.
He made you feel like you we’re crazy and repeated lied to you!!! RUN !!
I would leave your husband and let her deal with all of that on her own.
Some people aren’t meant to be together, and that’s okay. Just don’t give up your happiness to make someone else happy. Because babe, you don’t sound happy.
Ur husband sounds like a scumbag. And I say OPEN THE CAN… the guy DESERVES to know if it’s NOT his child!(if he doesn’t already have an idea…)
Leave it and decide if you want to stay in that marriage or get out. If you stay, I will say it is 100% necessary that he talks about it, lets you talk about it/ask questions, and that he puts the work in to be the person you and your family deserves. I will say people can change, but only if they want to. As for her being a ‘homewrecker’ as much as it is her fault, it’s his too. He let her in, otherwise she wouldn’t have had that opportunity. Keep that in mind because back to him not wanting to talk about it, but choosing to start over. A clean slate and fresh start after something like that is important, but that’s no excuse to dismiss what happened, the feelings you feel/felt, and the lies he chose to tell. There will be a lot of work from both of you that will need to take place for the marriage to work. Counseling/therapy would be extremely helpful too, but if you both want to stay together and make it work (for each other, not for the kids) then I say give it your all and work hard at fixing your marriage.
Find a Church 
take your children and him if your starting over ,pray together grow together in a different way Gods way ! And leave the past in the past God does when we ask forgiveness, everyone deserves a second chance !!!
Also her b.f deserves to know she’s cheating . Bit holy crap with that many other guys on the mix . He has to suspect somethings up 
Called his boss? Is he a child?
girl you need to leave that man smh
Making him quit a job and moving away doesn’t solve anything . The affair still happened and there’s a baby out there not knowing who its father is . Its your alls choice if you want the drama , but its not that babys choice . Request a dna test if someone doesn’t wanna do it because of fear of child support then wrap it or close them legs . Im guessing you are being bitter assuming she slept with six men (unless you were in the bed too ). Placing blame just on this “home wrecker “ and taking up for your husband and making him feel innocent is just calling for it to happen time and time again.
Therapy. This is 100 percent your husbands fault and you gave him a get out of jail free card. It was not his choice to stay, but your choice not to leave. You are an amazing powerful dynamic soul… you deserve better
Get rid. Surely he revolts you after that anyway?
You told his boss?!? WTH! What he was so not right. However you are not handling things well at all
This whole situation is one big cluster f*ck. U are a part of it too. The ones that are paying the price are the kids. THEY (husband & other woman)cheated, YOU told everyone u could think of instead of trying to handle your business like an adult. And if this woman was sleeping around, how does this friend suspect that the her baby is your husband’s. This is a drama free for all. Get help no matter what u choose to do & try to do what is best for your kids & yourself
How is this even remotely your problem?? Stop taking mens crap decisions personally as a result of their inadequacies. This isn’t a you prob unless you decide to stay and accept his behavior.
I would say with everything I just read you all are better off apart. Poor kids man
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I believe that it’s not the woman’s fault that it is your husband’s fault and if you let him get away with it he will do it again.
F that, tell him and leave that dude
Toxic. All the way around.
Don’t be a trouble maker!! Get on with your life and just be happy.
Your first problem is putting all the blame on the “homewrecker”. I’m not sure how old you are but HUNNY, It takes two to tango and he WILLINGLY had sex with her so he is 100% to blame too. Secondly, pregnant with fourth child and made him quit his job, call and told his boss instead of letting him be a grown ass man and calling himself. You and him both need to grow TF up and if you can’t move forward and let it go then it’s probably best for you and him to separate. Also, if that “girl that slept with like, 6 dudes” wants your husband to be involved SHE WILL OPEN THAT CAN OF WORMS HER DAMN SELF, you just seem super immature to me. I get it, I would be hurt and pissed if my husband cheated but I would pack mine and my kids stuff and get myself out of the situation instead of adding fuel to the fire!
Look, all I am going to say is the bf needs to know it may not be his for the babies sake!!! I know children that were lied to about their fathers and it ruined their relationships with them, ruined their self esteem, ruined their possible chances of having healthy relationships because it messed with their head so much!!! Help that baby and tell the “father” what u know. If baby turns out to be his, WONDERFUL!!! If not, then maybe there is still hope for child’s future mental health and happiness
Husband is a dirt bag. But it was not okay to involve his mom. It was not okay to call his boss. They didn’t need to know anything. But I also need to know how you speak to him if someone noticed and it wasaways rude and disrespectful. That doesn’t make it okay. But how you treat someone is important.
Just leave it alone. What would you hope to get out of telling the BF? Do you want your husband to be part of that child’s life if he IS the father? Exactly what would be your motive for telling is my question? If no good can come of it,all around,then keep your mouth shut and move along
Throw the whole man out:woman_shrugging:t2:
simple as that
If you are going to live with him, just get on with your life and don’t bring the past into it. Just remember, you have to work on your marriage every day.
Once bitten, twice shy!
I now have a maigriane
Honestly I feel like you should leave. He will do it again especially lying so long about it. And if he is the father that’s just a whole other thing.
Why would YOU call his boss & tell him??? That’s crazy & makes you a HUGE ! Then, you drug his poor mother into it??? Wow…he’s obviously not perfect. Clearly, neither of you are healthy for each other. This whole post made me cringe
Get testing STDs, the other women DNA and you definitely need therapy see after if choose stay with him. GOODLUCK
Leave. You will drive yourself crazy for YEARS to not be in your own head and it isn’t worth it.
Y’all need all of the therapy. Seriously. And your husband needs to decide if he’s going to petition for a dna test. If your husband and you stay together and that is his child then you need to decide if you’re going to accept and love that child and follow through on that. That child will be treated no differently than the 4 you’ve got together.
He was wrong for cheating 100% but you are wrong for the way you handled things too. His boss isn’t your concern, he doesn’t care about the personal life of his employees but you lost a reference for your husband out of spite. So you guys moved away and chose to stay together, for the sake of the children you need counciling. It has been a year according to your timeline and you are still stuck there. That is not good for your kids in any way because they can see and feel all the negative emotions. If you are really chosing to stay with him you both have A LOT of growing up to do and I pray you do it for your children. Together or seperately.
Move forward with him and keep your mouth shut. You can’t move forward if you keep looking back. Both of you could use some counseling.
Oh honey RUN !
these type of men NEVER EVER CHANGE !
This is too much !
You and your kids. Will live a miserable life!
Umm yeah first of all this is crazy messy! You all need therapy. And I wouldn’t be able to live with the unknown. Get a paternity test because if it is your husbands he needs to step up and while your at it have a full STD panel done on both of you 
Get a dna test to find out if the kids even his for sure then youll know how to react