Make him take a paternity test. A child should know their parent. Boyfriend would definitely need to do one also. I wouldn’t want to go on always wondering about a child. The child did nothing wrong. Two idiots did.
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Your husband was the home wrecker!! Your husband stepped outside of the marriage. He made the choice to cheat no one I repeat no one can trick him or force him to cheat.
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You all sound messy. Like I was going to sympathize with you because I have a messy situation, but not like this. Why did you call your husband’s boss about the affair? To shame him? Forcing him to quit I can see because when my husband cheated on me one of the conditions of staying together was he had to leave that job and find something else, but it was also 40 minutes from home, a door greeter job, and I was the main provider.
My point is this is just messy.
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Yall need Jerry AND maury
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Basically this is a whole entire post of you making excuses for your husband’s faults and blaming yourself for being cheated on. I didnt even read the whole thing. You need to leave. Period!!! You deserve better. Idgaf how rough things get, cheating should never be an option, let alone with someone you live with. Tf.
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You both sound toxic
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I understand where your pain is coming from but that woman doesn’t owe you any loyalty- your husband does. We hAve to stop blaming women for a grown mans choices.
I would have a hard time staying with all of the lying. How are you suppose to know the truth? It’s hard to make sound decision when your in your emotions and stuck In your head but listen to your heart…
Well this is a lot to unpack 
First get some therapy , you definitely need to love yourself 
blaming other women for the mistake your husband made is not right , and also stop the drama , people like you craves drama all day long
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You both need splitsville clearly you both have flags…
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You need a divorce girl love yourself
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He cheated on you and now claims you’re his soulmate because he’s finally feeling the need to come clean…?That’s funny.
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I understand that the woman owed her nothing but that women knew he was married had children and still perused him. That makes her a hoe. End of story
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Your husband is disgusting and you sound toxic… cut your loses
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This relationship sounds exhausting
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Your poor kids are the ones here suffering the adult’s mistakes and living in a toxic dysfunctional family. Please, stop thinking about your “husband” and what he says, thinks, wants or did for a minute and think about your kids and what they need for once and make responsible decisions
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He is telling you now because he knows he is the father, you need to leave!!
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Get help. Love yourself. Focus on enjoying your children. Find your own fulfillment and then just be proud of yourself.
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Find the dates and see if they line up or do a DNA test if you wanna know, but anyways, I would have told him to get out.
Hell, I’d have left him with the wh*re. No way in hell I’d have kept him around, especially when lying after knowing you knew.
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I’m so very sorry to say this the way that I’m about to, but you’re an idiot!
You should have cut BOTH of them out right then and there. You have FOUR kids to think of. Do you really want all this drama? I mean the whole thing sounds exhausting. You’re telling his mom and his boss… like that’s not their problem to handle. He’s a grown man. HE wrecked your home, not her. Someone can’t wreck a home unless one of the homeowners open the door for them!
Of course he’s gonna deny any child he may have fathered with her AND say she’s a hoe. She wasn’t a hoe when he was screwing her though.
This fkd up situation right here, this is your life if you choose to stay with him. He’s cheated (at least) once, he will do it again.
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I actually feel there is more red flags here for you…
"Are you his baby mama or wife? No, then whT business is it of yours" to how you speak to your husband… if someone (regardless who they are) tells you that you are speaking inappropriately to your husband, whom you’re meant to love with everything you have, you darn well sit back and examine yourself.
you got his mother involved… so you weren’t getting what you wanted so you git HIS mum involved?? Big no no. Don’t involve ppl in your fights, unless it’s a therapist, especially when your goal is to obviously gang up on the other person.
wtf were you calling his boss and quitting on his behalf??? He is a fully grown arse man, let HIM be responsible for HIS job.
From someone who has been unfaithful in a past (also toxic) relationship, im not proud of what I did, but I did it because it was nice to connect with someone who wasn’t trying to control me and belittle me constantly.
You need to leave him, but im not sure who will be better off for it tbh.
I suggest you get help. Or at the very least give your kids to someone who will actually put them first
Ayeee so much going on here….on one hand, at least he finally fessed up. Your intuition was right when you suspected he was cheating. Second, it’s a decision you have to make…do you trust him now? I think that would be super hard to do! I wouldn’t touch that can of worms w him perhaps having another child, esp if the chick had 6 other dudes. I wouldn’t involve his Mom or boss ever again,you’re adults.
Ok .you are really deflecting a lot on this other woman. Ma’am, you can’t use sex to control your man. It’s a lot going on here. There are a lot of holes in this story.
Your soul mate wouldn’t gaslight you like that
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I might be the odd one out but I don’t believe in giving up in a marriage. I’d go to a marriage counselor and keep in mind he wants a fresh start. If he doesn’t change or doesn’t try to make the relationship work, then I would leave because that tells me the “fresh start” he wanted was all talk to keep you around. And at that point, you know he will never change and was never actually willing to change. I’d also try to lessen the drama a bit. Keep arguments to yourself, don’t get others involved and take responsibility for your actions and same goes for him.
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If it’s his support the other child bonus kid. He needs to man up. Running away, ignoring or refusing doesnt solve the problem. My son’s dad got back with his ex & got married to her but that doesn’t erase my son & the fact he is the dad though he wants nothing to do with my kid he’s at least paying child support & when my kid’s old enough he can go find his dad & deal with that whole mess. Co-parenting is ideal.
I’d find out. Regardless of if you want to know or not. . . That could still be your child’s sibling. Also if you plan on working things out with him I think knowing would be beneficial because it may make it or break it for you.
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With all due respect, you were out of line telling his boss anything and his mother. He‘s employed with his boss, so he should’ve communicated with him not you. Plus, you never tell your employer personal matters that are going on. Second, why be with someone that is doing this to you? I was married with someone who cheated for several years and it took me a long time to realize that it wasn’t worth it. It’s hard at first to leave with kids but it’s so worth it.
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It’s all your husband’s fault. He’s friggin married. Wake up. Stop blaming the other girl
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So are you opening the can of worms 
as revenge to break up her home now? Or are you opening the can of worms now because you’ll be the additional mom to this new baby he may have with her? Why would you even tell his boss?!? 
Girl you are acting all kinds of Krazy for someone who does not respect you. If you are that big of a mess, your children are watching it all, listening to it all and possible will repeat this toxic relationship because to them this is now normal. You need to make a choice … you know the past and kept him, get over it and move forward with some help OR let him be, cut him loose and put all your effort into your children like they deserve. Make him pay child support and let him see his kids. You’re becoming all kinds of twisted for him to do what he knows you’ll allow.
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You mean ex-husband?
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I’m petty AF. Open it.
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Open it… She didn’t hesitate on needing around with your man why even think about this… Karma a bitch and sometimes we have to be one too…
Ok. It’s been at least a year- correct? And there is a man in that child’s life that goes by Dad. I don’t care if she slept with fifty men, that’s her life her business. So, if you want your marriage you make a fresh start with your husband and kids which you already have done. You leave the past in the past. This may require counseling for yourself.
Him trying to parent a child that already has a Dad in its life isn’t going to help you any. So if you go that route be prepared for the outcome.
I don’t blame the women when men cheat. They are the one in the commitment not the woman. Takes his consent to do anything.
I would not have called his boss or his mother. That’s between his mother and him and his boss and him.
Good luck
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Stop bashing this woman to make yourself feel better. Your husband is trash.
Let’s be real, the only person who owed you loyalty, was your husband. He is the true homewrecker. The other woman was dead wrong for doing what she did and she’ll get her karma but your focus shouldn’t be on her. Bottom line, only you can decide what you will put up with in a relationship. Do what is best for you and your kids. Personally, I would never be able to forgive the husband and I would never have that woman in my life again. Save yourself and kids from any more unnecessary drama. Coparent. That marriage would be dead to me.
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You called his boss. You got his family involved. You sound like you’re overbearing.
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Why on earth do you not value yourself enough to get rid of this fucker you call a husband? You are no better than him if you accept his behavior and go for his mistress to top it off. Did she have a commitment with you? Did she promise to respect you? Dont get me wrong, she isnt a stellar person either but your anger is misplaced here. Have some self respect
First off you can’t put all the blame on the other woman and call her a home wrecker. Yes she is partly to blame because she knew your husband was a married man. At the end of the day it is your husband who wrecked your home. He is the one who took vows to be faithful and broke those vows. Maybe try marriage counseling and if that doesn’t work and he still doesn’t want open communication then cut your losses. It’s hard to leave a marriage but all parties involved deserve happiness.
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Actually making the children’s well being come first.
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Open it she should not have been unfaitful
Never ever never ever let a female that isn’t your child or mother live with you. That is a recipe for disaster everytime.
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If it was me… her bf would already know. She knew about you and didn’t give to f*cks. Return the favor 
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Walk away…once a cheat…always a cheat.
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Please can we get a fucking paragraph break?!
Tell the bf…he deserves to know he is being lied to. You would want to know if you were being played…why wouldn’t he.
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Leave HIM. Divorce. In some states, you can get more child support if divorce is due to infidelity. Boy bye. But I also can’t get over why YOU called HIS boss. You sound overbearing and slightly controlling. But still. Leave him. Be the BETTER person and make them all feel stupid because YOU were able to just walk away unscathed
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Time for a DNA test both guys need to know for medical reasons
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Omg…you involved his family and his employment? Controlling much? That aside…is what she did shytty…yes…and what he did was even shyttier…the commitment was with him!
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If you need a test then get it but don’t pay back evil with evil because then your being just like them raise above all that you either forgive him and let it go or move on and let it go for your sake and your children
LEAVE HIM TAKE THE KIDS AND GO YOUR TEACHING THEM THAT ALL THIS IS OK ! MARRIAGE OR NOT. Sounds very toxic and like your wasting valuable time in life. What if your daughter told you all this what would you tell her…
I mean, this episode of Maury can’t finish until you open it. OPEN IT. 
But come back and update us, I can see a lot of us are clearly invested in this.
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This is alot to unpack. I understand your aggravation, but truly no matter what you do, he isn’t going to change. The problem really isn’t you. Your husband would have cheated regardless of what you did. Truly you have a choice- you don’t have to stay in this and you no longer owe him your loyalty. He will never be the husband you want him to be no matter how much you try to squeeze him into that box.
I wouldn’t “open the can of worms” because that’s for boyfriend to do. If she’s been doing this long, I’m sure he suspects and that will probably end in a DNA situation and then the cards will fall where they may with your husband anyways. Truly your husband will most likely end up paying child support to 2 women on 5 kids so I hope he got a new job in the state you all moved to.
You have to make decisions that result in your happiness/your children’s happiness. You’re in a new state…it’s your opportunity to break free.
This is also a lot for you and he gaslit you many times. I do think you should seek counseling because the situation you’ve been in has been toxic to you for a very long time.
These are his consequences to live with- not yours.
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If it were me I’d just leave and he can deal with his own mess.
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DNA and you should not be calling his boss
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1st if you stay with him get him an yourself checked at the sexual health clinic if she sleeps around with other men and if a child is born an she says it’s his get a DNA test if it’s his they are welcome to each other, personally I’d leave him your not his soul mate if you were he wouldn’t of cheated an deceived you and ultimately hurt you and your children he doesn’t deserve you.
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Roll out. Fix yourself. Move on.
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Wait my question is why did this woman live with you guys? And why didn’t she leave the house instead you had to leave with 3 kids while pregnant? Also what is his boss going to do? There so many questions that aren’t adding up.
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GET RID OF HIM!!! He’s obviously not as Inlove with you, as you think he is another damn stop breeding with this man!!! What’s his boss got to do with it?
Girl if you want baby mama drama and you want to raise another woman’s baby half the time go ahead and open that can… But honestly that should really be up to your husband cuz if he doesn’t want to get involved and he’d rather do right by his family with you that’s between him and her.
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So much BS going on here. First, this is on your husband, not you. Second why did you call his boss? He’s a grown a$$ man. Supposedly. Who needs all this drama. Why we’re you living with her?
JESUS CHRIST.
Listen babe, you are doing everything but leave.
Sounds like you turned into that crazy female clinging onto a shïtty ašš man.
That being said. I know you think you love him, but that’s not love. I know he is the father of your children but at this point you’re doing more damage staying with him. It’s toxic, you will only hurt your children with all the fighting and on top of that ur only killing urself when you could be free and at peace without him. Leave him and his drama in the trash where it belongs. Let him in the kids lives but no more than that.
Leave it alone. If you really want to fix your own relationship ignore what other people are doing. If this lady does a dna test herself it’s on her but for right now just worry about you and your babies
Dusty Auzenne u bd out here wilding
I would definitely leave and then get some therapy for yourself and depending on your children’s ages, them too. The fact you knew the truth and he still made you feel crazy and stressed you out to the point you almost lost the baby is disgusting. The fact he knows there’s a baby that could be his tells me that him and the woman have been in contact, how else would he know about 1. The baby 2. Her boyfriend thinking its his and raising it?
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I’d make sure that guy knows he could potentially not be the father. What’s wrong giving him an ounce of truth. Not wrecking a home when you aren’t the one doing the dirty… just telling the truth. I know many will disagree with me on this but it is what it is. Karma.
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My problem lies with the fact she’s not stable in her marriage/relationship but keeps popping out more kids… these kids are the victims here. They have to see mom and dad fight, argue and webo knows what… that’s where the toxic comes in for me. Your husband is an ass for cheating, you’re not any smarter, because who knows what he could be bringing home in possible STDs, so stop having unprotected sex with this man, and stop getting pregnant.
Wow that is so messy. I mean it’s not the child’s fault and if it is his child the child deserve to know but it’s not your place. It’s your husband who broke his vows and step outside of your marriage. Now it’s your husband’s mess to clean up and you have to decide if you want to stand by his side or leave. Me personally I would be making moves to leave. It’s very hard to regain trust after something like this. Take some time alone to figure out if the marriage is worth working on.
Leave girl! Run!! He’s no good for you or your kids! Sounds like my narcissistic ex husband. It’ll make the rest of your life so much better if you leave, heal and move on 
Involving other and employment in this mess is just a jerk move, ya this is shittu, leave him and be done with the drama
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Get a DNA test for sure and leave for sure, regardless of the results. He cheated on you, lied and denied it, and made you seem like you were wrong and crazy. That’s fucked up because he couldn’t man up and tell you the truth. I’d tell the boyfriend too, but if she was sleeping around that much then he probably already knows.
I’d open that can of worms! Her boyfriend deserves to know if the baby is his or not, just as much as your husband! I also couldn’t be with some one not knowing if they were potentially a father to some one else that could come knocking in 18 years time!
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Been there it’s actually how I found out about my son. Literally been there the whole thing. My advice is to heal if you wanna make things work. He’s gonna have to get a paternity test done so that can be left where it’s at or pursued further if he is the dad.
If you decide you don’t wanna stay then leave he betrayed you and made you feel outta your mind. You don’t deserve that and you know you don’t. Like I told my bd, I’m not perfect far from it but I’ve sat w him broke hungry homeless and I’ve sat there w money stable and set. I’ve held his kids and I’ve held him
Up since we got together. If he wants them he can have them because in the end You lose more than he does but he loses worse: there’s no body that’s you in the world.
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Leave him. And stop getting people into y’all business! That messy af!
Why would you stay? It will just happen again. Let him deal with his own mess. If you stay with him, you will be attached as well, emotionally as well as financially.
You had 4 kids with this guy and then call his boss about it? Seriously? Not worried about supporting 4 kids. Your husband has some issues but you aren’t a diamond either.
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The only “can of worms” you need to worry about is immediately getting checked for std’s, then you can decide if your lying “soulmate” is worth hanging onto just for the sake of your kids
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Your husband is s dog. Not too late to hit reset. He will always cheat on you, it will always be like this. Get out while you’re young enough to attract somebody else.
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I’m sorry you don’t need to air out your dirty laundry. Involving people beyond your personal circle of trusted friends and family is weird. He did it, he confessed, you cam put a period and move on and forgive him. Or put a period and move on without him. It all up to you and what your willing to do. From personal experience it’s not good for the kids to see you fighting all the time. It screws them up, and then don’t know what healthy relationships are like. It will be hard if you stay, and it will hard if you go
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I wouldn’t of given him the option. I would have told the bish she could have the cheater, cheaters belong together after all. Moved with my kids and took his ass out for child support. Fuck that mess.
If she pursues child support… Get a paternity test and leave his ass anyway… He’s nasty
Have some self respect FFS.
Leave him.
It’s hard on your own with 4 small kids but it’s harder when you’re constantly questioning your sanity and being disrespected by the person that should respect you the most.
He did it before, he’ll do it again.
Jesus, you could have ended up with a disease! She sleeps with 6 people and your husband isn’t using protection and then comes home to your bed? No no.
Just stop this.
He can be a dad and still not be together with you. Share, be amicable, but move on.
So sick of watching women lay down and be disrespected like this. If you have daughters you’re showing them how to be treated and if you have sons, you’re showing them how to treat others.
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Leave this toxic relationship as fast as your legs will
Carry you and stop having his babies
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First of all… I would have been GONE!!! next, YES I WOULD TREK THE BF!! He had the right to know and not be played a fool as they played you!!!
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What??? I’d leave him. You don’t deserve that mess
Why are you still married?
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She wasn’t just a hoe when he was sleeping with her. She was sleeping with “6” guys but that wasn’t enough for him to use protection resulting in a “1/6” chance he could have got her pregnant. He needs to go.
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She probably does not know who the father is
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First off mama, let me tell you that I’m sorry you had to go through that at all, but especially because you were pregnant. I’ve been there, and it hurts like a knife twisting in a wound. Second, if you want to stay with him, it’s going to be hard. I think it’s hard to trust someone after that happens and you guys got 4 kids. Go to couples counseling if it helps, if not do what is best for you and yours. You’re going to see a lot of “run girl” on here, but you gotta think about the long run. If you decide to leave, just be fair about the kids. You don’t want them to see everyone be bitter and mean. And as for the bf I’d see if he’s happy about the situation. If he seems happy, let him believe it’s his child, if not tell him, I mean it’s a possibility that he is. And again, I’m sorry
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Wow, you’re seriously betraying your own self. I don’t have any words of encouragement, that’s just sad.
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Run as fast as you can
Tell her boyfriend and leave your ratchet ass husband.
Air it out and then leave him.
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she’s not a hoe your husband is the hoe
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you don’t deserve this leave him.
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Have him get a paternity test and bam, then you all know. Just sayin if it was me we wouldn’t be married and he would’ve been kicked to the curb. I can’t stand a cheater
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Once a cheater always a cheater. I caught my X cheating & forgave but had that gut feeling he was still doing it & got a STD from him
So I kicked him out & divorced. I didn’t want my kids seeing or being like he was/is.
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Awww hell , leave the prick !!! This is seriously like taking a shower and putting dirty undies back on . Let her have him , he ain’t your soul mate , and he ain’t no man.
Let that man go! Firstly if he cheats once he’ll cheat again, he has proven he has lied to you not only once BUT repeatedly AND may have a baby from an affair he had while you were pregnant and married to him. Get a divorce, put him on alimony and/or child support,and move on with your life.
That is a lot to breakdown. So one, if you were his soul mate he’d never have cheated 
Yea people make mistakes but the fact it took him months to “come clean” says it was more than just a mistake. He denied it even after she told you? Yea no thanks.
I’d air it out that there is a possibility the child is someone other than her boyfriend’s. Then I’d divorce my husband for even possibly fathering a child outside of our marriage. It is bad enough he cheated but he wasn’t even decent enough to protect you. No condom? Unacceptable.
This whole thing screams for a need to divorce!
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