My husband gives no opinion on anything when I ask him what he wants to do when it comes to a decision involving our kids. For example, I have my daughter enrolled in K12, and our school district is opening back up to in-person at the end of September. I ask him what he thinks we should do, and he doesn’t give me any advice swaying me in either direction. So I talk to my daughter, and we decided that she likes doing school the way we are doing it and that we will address it next school year. I tell my husband today that I’m going to just leave things how they are, and he gets mad because he apparently wanted her back in public school. He was also not happy with the fact I put my daughter in a church group on Wednesday evenings with other kids. He thought the end time (8:00) was too late - even though she did the same program last year, no problem. I don’t know if I need advice or if I just needed to vent. I just get so frustrated. I’m home with the kids 24/7 doing 90% of the raising of my kids and feel like every decision I made regarding them is wrong.
Sounds like he has an opinion, just has crap communication skills. Why wait till after the fact to have something to say?
I would sit down and have a talk. Communication is key. ~ Let him know how you are feeling. If he can’t communicate properly, obviously that is not okay. – So, speak your mind, that is all you can do. And go from there. I don’t want to say other stuff is going on, cause I don’t know the full situation. But I would def talk to him, and make sure your voice is heard. – If I was in that position and have made numerous attemps to communicate, I would be heading towards marriage counceling~ Been down that road before, and currently in a divorce.
He needs to grow up and communicate. You’re not a mind reader. If he has an opinion, he needs to speak it.
Tell him if he has problems with your decisions feel free to throw in his 2 cents but if hes only going to whine afterwards to keep his pie hole shut.
i think she should talk to her husband about how it’s frustrating he only voices his opinion after the fact and explain she can’t be everywhere at once and if he doesn’t he’s disrespecting her
Well, he needs to speak up if he wants his opinion to count.
Your not wrong at all. Do what you think is right for your family if he doesn’t want to be apart of the decision making then he can’t be mad. I know it’s frustrating.
Take a look through some of the comments on these mommy pages.
Dads are so often told/treated like they’re not allowed to have an opinion and if they do they’re not supposed to voice it.
How many women tell other women “do what you want you’re mom”
I know I personally am guilty of making decisons and must kind of expecting my husband to go along and not really thinking. I might ask him…I might say I was thinking about doing this. Rather than insisting that I truly want and value his opinion.
Additionally he probably needed to think about it rather than just give a impulsive yes or no. So I dont know was accurate at that moment.
You’re not a mind reader. He’s got to speak up if he wants himself heard. Seems like he wants an excuse to fuss about something, after the fact. So sorry.
If he had an opinion he should have spoken up. It isnt your job to read his mind. I would just tell him next time you come to him for his advice, he needs to actually give it to you
That just how some men are. Everything you decided for the kids will ne wrong because those men want to be in control of with everything
Sit down and have a discussion with him. Also try some marriage counseling. There is probably a reason he does not voice his opinion, but him getting mad when you can’t read his mind is unacceptable. He needs to start speaking up or stop complaining when he disagrees with your decision after he doesn’t voice an opinion.
I sometimes struggle with expressing an opinion or making a decision. My husband calls me out when I waffle and I think that could be helpful here. Make sure he knows you EXPECT his input and that not committing is not a valid response. Put the responsibility for the decision onto him.
Maybe look in to marriage counseling. communication sounds like it’s not really good between you both.
If he’s not willing to help when you ask for his advise, then he doesn’t have a right to be mad! If you’re the one doing most of the raising without his help, then I wouldn’t worry about him being mad. Raising kids is hard and he should want to help out more. Have a long serious conversation about all of this. If nothing changes then continue doing what you’re doing. I’m sure you are doing a great job!
Me and my spouse are the same way we could sit there and try to talk I’ll ask numerous questions but I don’t get his opinion until I make the decision it needs to be made but apparently it was wrong I get that all the time
I think when you discuss something with him and he doesnt offer a openion, come back next day or if time is on your side, in a few days and ask him has he give any further thought to what ye were discussing previously. If he hasnt, then suggest to him that ye will discuss it the next evening, and in the meantime will he please give it some thought as you value his openion. Take it from there. Keep a little diary of all those incdecents if he doesnt communicate his thoughts and have a discussion with you to help come to a decision. You might need it if ye need to go to a councillor in the future if he keeps this up. Good luck
Do you try to tell him what your plans are? Could be a simple way to avoid fights. Just be like my plans are for her to join youth group again this year. it runs till 8pm Any objections?
Our daughter wants to do online school and I dont see ant issues with it. Do you? This way he clearly knows your intentions beforehand. Instead of how do you feel about youth group? Or how do you feel about her school? Gives him plenty of chance to speak his opinion.
Tell him he can take control from here on out since he doesn’t approve… I guarantee he’ll regret what he said in no time… Being a full time mom a IS NOT EASY.
I feel u! My husband never has an opinion, will say he doesn’t care, etc. but he ALWAYS has some shit to say about it AFTER I make the decision. It’s the most infuriating loop I’ve ever been in lol.
If you ask and he doesn’t say anything I would tell him right then “If you dont have any input on the situation you can’t be mad at me for making a decision on my own.” That’s the position he is leaving you in and if he wants input he should put that input before the decision is made!
Sounds like he doesn’t respect you and has control issues.
When he has a go at you throw it back in his face. You didn’t tell me and I’m not a mind reader.
He’s being a jerk and he shouldn’t put that pressure on you you have pressure on making the decisions because he doesn’t want to help you
Same girl same!!! I never get a straight answer or opinion but hes quick to tell me I’m wrong when I make a decision!
Sounds like my ex. Wouldn’t help with decisions but found fault in either way I’d choose. It’s emotional abuse. He keeps you on edge, keeps you questioning yourself & always afraid of making the right choice that won’t make him mad or cause him to call you a name or give you the silent treatment or whatever punishment he dishes out. No matter what choice you make will be wrong so he can keep this control over you. My advise is to leave him. It’s a hell of lot easier to make your own choices without worrying about pleasing him.
It sounds like he is a lazy parent. He has an opinion but doesn’t actually bother to do the work it takes to make an educated opinion so he leaves it to you then belly aches about it. Oh hell no. Either speak up about it when you ask or forever hold your peace.
TELL HIM THAT. Tell him to either speak up or shut up. 
Ffs. He’s old enough to have a child in grade school then he’s old enough to speak up when he’s spoken to. Not act like a child. Nobody got time for that ridiculous shit.
I would use my pastor’s advice… If he doesn’t give his opinion or discuss the matter then he forfeits his right to complain. If he says he has the right to complain then you tell him that he has forfeited his right for you to listen. It’s that simple.
If he wants an opinion, he has to help weigh the options, do the work. No work, no voice.
How old are the kiddos? If they have time to eat and do homework, then 8pm should be fine one night a week. The reward is worth being a little tired. They are young only for so long.
I think you should tell him to voice his opinion when asked what he thinks because if he doesn’t your gonna make the dicision yourself!!
Just tell him if he has no input when asked then he’s no say when its been decided
I put my kids back in school. But they only go 2 days a week and they both go on the same days. They need that interaction with the other kids. I couldn’t take that from them. But do what is best for you and your family. Good luck
Tell him step up or shut up.
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I do keep seeing you say my daughter I have a problem with this as well. I dont realize I’m taking over the conversation the discipline the decision making. Then when I do ask for help or opinions he feels like oh now you am want my help. I dont mean to take charge but his job forces me to most of the time. But it makes him feel like he isn’t involved so he says do what you want it doesn’t matter what I think anyway. Then I get frustrated but I have to stop and sit down and baby his ego a bit to get a good conversation going about pros and cons. Just in my experience I’m a bully and dont realize