As a working mom, 4 kids now adults, still working more than I did before, life is life, you will never “do” enough. My best advice as not only a divorced single mom of now adult 4 kids is just keep going, never is never enough. Don’t look for recognition, don’t expect anyone to acknowledge what you do, just do it. I’m exhausted even after raising my kids, still working harder than I ever have and do what you can. Mind you I work a major job the world depends on but please do what you can.
Uhm, he does realize a SAHM is basically just child care, with light cleaning. Would he expect a nanny and a maid to do the same job for the same price?
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Stay at home mom is more work than being at work. I’ve always said this & I will continue to do so. I work full time & love it! I talk to adult, I get to sit at my desk (not very often but hey) & I get to enjoy a peaceful lunch break. HOWEVER, thank god your husband works. Mine passed away so trying to do both is UGHHH. It’s very hard, all of that is little stuff & not worth arguing over. Trust me .
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Fk all those chores YOU ARE KEEPING A TINY HUMAN ALIVE!
Stop enabling him. Talked care of only the baby. Don’t cook for him. Do his laundry pick up after him etc. When he throws a fit state. I’m a stay at home mom. I take care of the baby. Not a man child hungry? Go make yourself a sammich
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And fyi… for all the people who run to public forums regarding their relationships with their significant others… inviting other (strangers) opinions into your life and relationship when there is ALWAYS more than one side to a story is set up for failure and allows more toxicity into the situation and relationship.
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He’s supposed too be a dad helping with is child isn’t on his time parentings 24/7 you never clock out
My partner works 7 days on and has 7 off, he still helps out around the house after work
He sounds like my ex. Looking after 2 under 2 with the 6 month old wanting to be breast fed every 2 hours day and night became easier when he wasn’t in the picture anymore
Fuck that!! My daughters father is the primary bread winner ( I work too but only 2-3 days on weekends) and yet we BOTH take care of our daughter. I fucking HATEEEEEE the mentality some men have that just because they work that they don’t have to help with the child THEY helped create!!! My bf would never even TRY to say that to me because he’s got more respect , care, and love for me than that.
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I mean if he wants to pay 1000+ in daycare cost. And if you got a job (you both would be cleaning and cooking then ) my son has been trashing my house since he could at 12 months. I would clean 2/3 times a day and he would still make a mess. Like going to work is a break for me, being at home all day with a little one is hard work. I got a Prn/part time job so on my bf’s off days I would pick up and leave him with the baby (don’t have to pay for a sitter)
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Uh NO.
Him working doesnt excuse him from being a damn parent.
My husband only gets out of housework and cooking on WORKING DAYS.
But he also comes home and spends every second with the kids and takes care of them. I clean or get a lil time to myself.
Its only your JOB while hes at work.
You take care of house and kids SO he can go to work and bring money in.
Technically you bring in half that money.
If you weren’t there…how would he go to work?
Hed have to pay for daycare and a maid. Look up how much 24 hour daycare would be plus a live in maid.
Then give him the bill.
Personally id leave for a night or two and leave the baby with him.
Even on a work night.
Let him see how he NEEDS you home in order to get that money.
No…its supposed to be a partnership.
He might be a good worker…but that aint bein a good dad OR husband.
None of those 3 things are synonymous.
Just cuz u make money and work hard doesn’t make you a good spouse. Makes you a good worker.
Being a good dad doesnt make you a good husband either.
Idk why he thinks money equals his “part”
Obviously shirking 2 out of 3 of his responsibilities
He helped make the baby so yes even though he works 5 days a week. You work 24-7 ask him when is your day off? If he can help make a baby he can help take care of it. Sounds to me like he wants u to do it all while he thinks he’s getting all the credit. Do not let him get u down. You are not wrong at all for asking for help hell u shouldn’t have to ask. He should almanacly jump up and help. Ask him how do u spell pos 
jk don’t ask him that but on a serious note your a great mother and person. Take care of that baby an totally forget him. I don’t know u but I wanna knock some since into him for u.
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I think a sahm should be responsible for the majority of the cleaning, however that does not mean that he shouldn’t pick up after his self. As far as the baby, he should WANT to spend time with and bond with him
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You have a lazy husband…
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He’s absolutely absurd
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Your dude had no problem getting you pregnant his ass needs to step up or step out! Being a stay at home mom is rewarding but so much work. I keep my house spotless and take care of my 2 yr old daughter that needs hella attention. I try to make sure I have dinner ready for my man every day but he orders out for us once every week and he helps cook to. He helps do dishes and laundry. I’m 35 weeks pregnant but he still helped before I was pregnant.
Mom in this position need breaks away from kids and need interaction with other adults to
He should help with baby care. However, I think the majority of household duties is the responsibility of the stay-at-home parent. Not to say he shouldn’t help, I’m sure he gets help at his job sometimes 
but the majority should be completed by the stay-at-home parent. When my husband stayed home, he did most of the household things, and I helped out. Now that I stay home I do the majority, and he helps out when I need him to . However, child care is the responsibility of both parents.
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Wtf is wrong with him?! You NEVER get to clock out. He comes home and is done? No ma’am. You’re working all day and when he gets hone as well. He can pitch in.
Absolutely not. He is not right. I’m a stay at home momma too and I would flip my lid if my husband said these things. It doesn’t matter who is working…he’s a grown ass adult…he can pick up after himself and help keep the house in order. He’s a dad. He SHOULD help take care of that baby. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m livid for you.
Oh no no no no no… lol
Yes he gets to escape the home and go to work, so when is your break? … A real man would come home and want to hold his child and feed him… how about you go away for the weekend and see what he gets done when you come back…
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So… a man’s perspective, yes you need to help with your child. That being said, if I work 12 hours doing a hard physical job as the sole wage earner I understand his point. I also understand being a sahm is 24/7. There’s no hardship in changing a diaper or making a bottle after work. That also being said it’s unfair for the working male to come home and have a child dumped in his lap for the night. A relationship with children is a different dynamic from one without and requires both to put in work. Be it financial, time, emotion, or determination
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I have been a sahm for over 9 years it’s a lot of work & some men don’t want to think about how much work it is. They just think we sit on our couch & watch our kids play I swear. So silly. I remember while I was in the hospital having our 3rd child he was at home with our other 2 he FaceTimed me bc he had to go grocery shopping he had no clue what to buy & the kids kept asking for stuff his head was spinning it was awesome! He had to call me to ask me how to turn on the washing machine & then the dryer also he found out in those 2 days how much I do on a daily basis slightly. But overtime I think he forgets. Just know you aren’t alone my husband & I get in arguments also sometimes about the house isn’t tidy & so on. Just remember you can’t ever get this time back with your baby so don’t stress & enjoy it!
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Bs, because if you weren’t taking care of the baby, you would have time to work. Tell him to switch, and see how he likes it. You go to work all day, he cleans and takes care of baby. 
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Girl I had a c section and my wound opened I was in the hospital not even a whole 24 hours my husband said I’m not gonna lie I can’t do this idk how you do all this but I can’t. He wanted me home the next day. He knows I’m the one who holds the house together so he knows if he EVER tried to pull some crazy crap like that he works so he shouldn’t have to do help with kids or clean he would see the crazy side of me.
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Men tend to think being the only one bringing money in is a huge accomplishment and means they can neglect their family. I’m sorry you’re going through all of that, it’s not fair
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He sounds young and immature…. So just as a visual price out full time daycare cost, and a house keeper to come in once a week and fluff and fold laundry services. Just to show him. I know it sounds silly. But maybe he needs some perspective. Lol.
Hang in there. I hope he does see that we as mamas work 24/7 and sometimes just need a break and feel appreciated. 
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Heck no he’s is not right. If he pays for the house he needs to take care of the house. House work is not just a mom thing it’s a partner thing. Ans with a baby he should be helping more babies are a full time job. So sorry.
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He sounds so lazy! My husband worked nights, 70+ hours a week when we had our twins. I was a SAHM, every single day he helped me with the babies, cleaning, cooking, ANYTHING we needed! My husband has easily changed just as many diapers as I have with our 3 kids. Your husband needs to grow up!
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I’m not a SAHM I’m the breadwinner. A teacher. But when I get home I do as much as I can to help my hubby. I help him make tea and I clean up around house while he washes up kitchen. I then help my youngest to shower while he gets oldest prepared for school. Being together should be team work no matter who is bringing in the money. The money is for everyone so life can be comfortable. Each should pull his/ her weight in order to keep a sane, comfortable home so the other doesn’t get too overtired. Much needed breaks must be taken too in turns.
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My husband helped me while I was on maternity leave and still does now that I’m back at the office …
So he wants you to take care of the baby, the cooking, the cleaning, to pick up after him without complaining and not ask him to do one thing while he’s in the house? All because he works outside of the house and brings the money? There’s women working as maids cleaning houses who get paid to do it because it’s considered a job. You’re doing it for free. AND you’re taking care of the baby all by yourself. Because even when he’s around it sounds like you’re still taking care of that baby by yourself. Sounds to me like you got yourself TWO full time jobs from which you’re NOT getting paid for while he’s complaining about how he works his ONE job bringing in the money and how as his slave you’re not doing enough. That baby is not just your baby. He helped create that baby so he needs to help in taking care of the baby. And working outside of the house isn’t enough. That baby needs BOTH parents to be there taking care of the baby. A man that genuinely cares and loves you will go out of his way to help you in any way possible. He’d SEE how difficult it is to take care of a baby and a house by yourself and he’d step in and be part of the solution not the problem. He’s acting like a jerk. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
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I use to b a stay home mom for a bit. I would try hard to make sure my ex came home to a clean house and try to have food ready bc when u r the one working all day everyday u don’t wanna have to work when u come home . U just wanna rest. But I do see your point also. U should get a job and just have family babysit. So he doesn’t feel like he’s the only one working. Also it would get u outta the house.
Tell him you are NOT HIS MOTHER! and don’t pick up after him or cook for him! Nip it in the bud now before he turns you into his slave 
He’s an arrogant moron!!
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Leave him home alone with the baby for 1 day. Let him learn the hard way
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I’d say you give him a rude awakening and go stay with a family member or friend on his two days off this weekend. Leave him with the home & the baby let him see for himself that it’s all easier said than done!
He’s broken. Get a New one. His mindset is old and extremely outdated. Honestly some of these men couldn’t do what moms do by any means. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that
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I bet if you left him there with that baby and he didn’t have no other choice but to watch the baby clean the house cooking do everything he might appreciate you a little bit more. When he comes in one day and nothing’s done tell him that you took the day off this is what happens when you take the day off and see how he likes that!!
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No he should help out too my ex was just the same way
Since you’re asking these questions it signals that you’re being gaslighted. Of course you’re doing enough. He’s messing with your head to make you question yourself. You work 24/7/365 without time off. He should help you. He’s not looking for a partner. He’s expecting a maid. Please for your & baby’s sakes move out. File child support & public aid until you’re on your feet. It is possible. If you stay you’re going to question yourself more & more.
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He works 5 days a week. You work 24/7. You know he should want to help with baby and clean up after himself!! And getting tired of cleaning up after everyone every single day DOES get annoying some days and you just don’t do it… oh well. Ask for an hour a day or every other day so you can have you time for whatever you need to hv done or hot bath time. Compromising can get things started to get him to spend time with the baby
You will have to give him a jolt of reality
Why is he making a mess you have to pick up? He shouldn’t be making a mess in the first place. He should want to spend with the baby.
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He needs to help hubby use to work 7 days a week as a farmer all hours up to 70 plus hours a week and still come home and help with the 5 kiddies it’s team work and respect for each other
Kick out that boy, take care of yourself and than a MAN will come along and show you how your to be treated.
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Sound like my ex husband. I don’t know why you even asked us if you are wrong. You are NOT wrong. You did not make that baby alone and he is very selfish and narcissist. You have a choice.
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Sounds like he’s a lazy slob. So not acceptable even if he works. He helped make the baby he needs to do his part besides working outside the house. Smh. Hugs
He is way wrong it should be devided equally my husband done me the same way and I to am a stay at home mom also that’s complete and utter bullshit that he didn’t feed that baby while you were gone that right there is considered neglect
It’s the Narcissism for me!!
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Girl, only because I have lived this… this is a conversation that you should have had before having kids, but now that you know how he feels about this, I am guessing he is also a guy who says you leave him ti babysit, well you DONT babysit your own child, it’s called parenting! You have to decide how much of this crap you are willing to put up with. I decided “I will show him” by not picking up after him, cooking his meals, or doing his laundry. And our house got so trashy, I didn’t even want to stay there. Accept that you are basically a single parent, and you will be happier. Don’t count on him to pick up slack, or help out, just do you!
You can try counseling, but I doubt it will help, once the counsel for tells him things he doesn’t want to hear he will bail.
I got a part time job and my mom kept the baby, it was my saving grace. It wasn’t much money, but it was mine, I had adult conversation, and it truly pulled me from the depths of depression.
Good Luck! Feel free to DM me anytime.
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He sounds exactly like my son in law. My daughter can’t even get her husband to learn the basics of child care, like bathing the baby for instance 
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My ex husband never actually did anything for our kids except provide financially until I left him. My boyfriend now does everything he never did for my kids and more. It breaks my heart to know my kids missed out on that for so long. Beyond just the overwhelming stress of being a mom who’s the only one being a parent it made me look at how the kids must feel/ have felt having their dad be so absent. He is more involved now because he has to be. I’m not there to do everything for him. I don’t know your exact situation so I can’t speak on it. But there are men out there that would love to do those things and understand the stress and help because they want to. It took me 9 years to learn that, and you should never have to feel alone or taken for granted. You deserve more. I feel you girl. I hope things get better for you.
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A marriage is teamwork. There is no 50/50. Both partners should help each other with cooking, cleaning, finances, parenting, etc. You both have to compromise and from the way it sounds its mostly one sided. He works and pays bills. Thats great but for the record motherhood has been scientifically proven to be the equivalent of 2.5 full time jobs. So he needs to step up to the plate! And the fact that the baby didn’t even get fed until YOU got home is neglectful at best on his part.
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Micheala Root … Maybe you will find some advice here for your situation
This sounds like my house. So the other night I left. I do food delivery whenever I can. I was gone for about 5 hours delivering food. I get home and let me tell you NOTHING was done. I was like well you were a stay at home dad tonight and you couldn’t even empty a dishwasher. He’s like well well I was feeding the baby. Yea not for 5 hours. No bath not in bed. NOTHING! I was like don’t talk to me about what I do bc it’s clearly not so easy. The next day I cleaned the whole house. He hasn’t said a word since 
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He should help with the baby and pick up after his self but you should be able to keep the house done with that being said how old is the baby
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I am a stay at home mom with 3 kids which I am grateful for and I completely understand you it can be very hard sometimes.This is the thing some men believe stay at home mom’s don’t do anything wish that was true.In reality women support men’s careers,jobs by providing unpaid childcare,house cleaning,dinner and on top of that family life management 
It’s understandable he works all day he should be able to go home and rest,but he should be able to help you your working all day as well.At least he should clean up after himself he is not a child
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I’m wondering what he was like prior to the birth of your child.
Also think that he doesn’t need to help you out he needs to parent his child. It is like when men say they are babysitting. Not called babysitting when it’s your child.
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Robert Lewis Mcintyre Jr. 
He kinda sounds like an arrogant person who has no accountability and he is a father. I don’t care if he worked 7 days a week. He has a family and a real man will step up and help with his child too. He’s not being a good husband or a good father from the sounds of it. Working and making money is not an excuse to neglect everything else because his job is not done when he walks through that door. And idk about you but if a man treated me that way I’m walking out that door and I am not coming back because I didn’t sign up to be alone while with someone. You need to do what makes you happy.
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Well i had 4 children an years ago they did nothing only the garden , An went to work … So lucky you went there years ago … there very good today they do there share … Dont worry argueing never gets you anywere An dont have anymore babies they are a full time job …
He doesn’t want a partner he wants a caretaker. He is absolutely NOT correct. You’re a SAHM, not his personal slave.
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Sounds like a prick. He made the baby with you and should want to help you seeing as how he is the dad and all. What happened to partnership? I was a stay at home mom for a while with my two and I STG if my husband said this iiiiish to me he would have found himself a new woman. Absolutely ridiculous. That man sounds spoiled.
You are absolutely not wrong and I feel so bad for women with husbands like this. Just awful.
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I’m sorry your going through this. He’s wrong because he’s a father not a sperm donor and a good father not only brings money home but also is hands on with his child you guys are a team so both of you need to contribute to the home and raising your child many men think that they don’t have to clean or cook or watch the children but they are wrong. In my home my husband is the bread winner but he also cleans he doesn’t cook because no one will eat his food no matter how much he’s tried he burns everything or it taste horrible but he picks up the dishes washes dishes and cleans not all the time but when he cans. He watches the boys but doesn’t see it as a job he says he’s fathering and they belong to him as much as they belong to me keep talking to him because it’s not okay the way he sees it you two are a team
He may work 5 days a week I don’t know how many hours but you as mother and a wife work 24/7 you do not get breaks so he should help around the house and help you with the baby my ex husband worked 6 days a week 12+ hours a day sometimes but on his only day off he would help me with the babies and he helped deep clean the house and do yard work so yes I believe he should help
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He didn’t feed the baby while you were gone…that’s neglectful. Seriously, he didn’t feed the baby! That’s a huge problem! I think if one person stays home, and the other works, the one that’s home should do most of the housework. Most, not all! And him not picking up after himself is ridiculous. It’s not hard to put clothes into laundry baskets/hampers, throw away trash, put dishes into the sink. My 18 month old can practically do all those things (tries at least). Your husband needs to step up.
You SAVE him money being a Sahm- a maid, cook,a Uber/taxi driver, a personal assistant, babysitter, a dry cleaner, a nurse, plus so more. Ask him to price check all those services! Tell him, to kick rocks. I can’t stand that he is acting like his kid is a chore. Gross, leave him. It will only get worse. This kid is a baby ? Just think what 18 years will be like with a man like this as your child grows.
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I’m now a SAHM and don’t think you’re asking for too much and no you aren’t his maid. He’s a grown man that helped to create a baby and has the ability to pick up after himself so yes he should be helping you out by giving his son a bottle or changing his diaper and picking up after himself. Occasionally should be doing extra things like helping with cooking and cleaning. Like over the weekend, you don’t get days off being a SAHM. It’s a 24/7 job 7 days a week with no time off, sick days or pay. There’s plenty of men who work five days a week and still help out around the house and with the kids, my man does. There’s no excuse for his poor behaviour, he should be wanting to bond with his child too and not being an arrogant AH!
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Unfortunately this is a very common mindset for husbands of SAHMs! Y’all need to sit down & have a serious face-to-face conversation about what each of you feel your (both of you) duties should be. He needs to understand that being a SAHM is your JOB, and just like he gets to clock out from work, you should get a break. Giving HIS child a bottle is not something difficult & the fact that he let his child go without because you went to the store REALLY doesn’t sit well with me! You might have to read down deep inside & find your inner bitch!
Hand him a request time off sheet since he wants to play “boss” over partner and leave him on a day off for 5+ hrs and see how he does. Just a dose of what you go through 
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Constantly fighting about whose doing more isn’t going to solve anything. Taking care of the kids and the home is hard work. Going out and working at his job is hard work too. It’s not a competition. You both do not feel appreciated for what you do.
I feel most of the time this is about balance.
Maybe you could find a part time job working the weekend and then your husband would take care of the kids. Or you could work a few days during the week and take the kids to day care. This way you have income too and he can’t place so much value on what he does like it’s more important than what you do. In addition I think it’s important that you get some alone time even if it’s just an hour for a walk. Also have a date night once a month, get a babysitter and spend time together without the chores and kids. It helps.
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Marriage is a commitment to be a team. Bringing a child into this world is not a Chore, it’s a privilege given to many that do not deserve it.
Take Care of the Baby, everything else can wait. If he doesn’t want the baby then don’t force it on him. He will regret it one day.
Get Marriage counselling and Put GOD in your heart.
Many things will fall into perspective.
Go out for the night! Leave baby with him!
What a jerk! Definitely not ok. Stand your ground
I see it this way. 3 things need done. Money brought in, a baby cared for, and a house picked up. There are only 2 of you. You both need time off. So yes, he does need to be helping, but try to make sure he gets at least one day on the weekend to rest at least housewise. Kids never rest lol.
Honey I am a totally blind mother of two, and a single mom at that, the father of my children was always on the road or in some club or hanging out with whoever he felt like hanging out with, but would get mad when I wasn’t there to make his dinner or whatever the case may be and if me and the kids were gone for long periods of time he would get pissed, girl?! Tell him to shape up, or ship out. Or, you and the baby will be bouncing! Because that’s what I had to do, and I’m better off for it because like the Tyler perry play/movie was titled, I can do bad all by myself! And that goes for you too, you can do bad all by your damn self with your child. Don’t let him treat you that way and don’t let him become your second child because he is too grown for that, live that grown man life don’t just talk about it, tell him to be about his business! Best of luck to you.
Nope nope nope nope. Flat out nope. Do you get to clock out from taking care of the baby?! Do you get breaks?! Do you get paid to take care of the baby?! Sorry but absolutely not. I made my husband be a stay home dad for awhile and he started helping more.
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Well, from experience it’s not going to get any better. Make a plan and leave.
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Oh god…I am so sorry!
No. He should be helping.
I’m home most days with our son. 3x a week I have school (I’ve been doing 2x at home because it’s a 2hour drive just one way, ends up being an 8 hour day for a 50 minute class) so someone watches our son here at home so I can focus on school or go to school.
He has Mondays off, so he takes care of him Mondays (my sister Wednesdays & his mom Fridays).
I work 1x a week (saturdays) and my mom watches our son that day since we’re both working at that time.
Any and all other times I’m home with our son, out with our son, or grocery shopping if someone comes over to watch him so I can go alone or they come with to help (and too many creeps in the world…our Walmart actually just had a guy get escorted out for trying to meet up with two 15 year old girls).
Every night after work my boyfriend comes home and he starts daddy duties (feeding breast milk bottles & diapers).
He helps with laundry (he goes outside to vape and the cellar you have to go outside to get to), he takes out trash most of the time to the burn barrel and takes the dog out on his vape breaks (I do these things too, but most the time he does)
He’s gotten better about helping with dishes…but yes we for the most part split all the tasks and he helps out tremendously.
It’s a partnership.
Were not even married. It’ll be 4 years of dating this July, we live together, have a dig together, and now a 6 month old son together.
He signs his paychecks and I deposit (monthly) 1 into the joint account, 1 into his separate account, and take 400$ a month for our sons safe. (52 weeks of savings…100$ a week)
He helped make the baby so he should help. And he lives there so he should want to help. Your full-time job is mom 24 7. I can’t stand men that are just clueless . Thank God my husband is the opposite
Tell him you want a job
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The baby intimidates him. He doesn’t feel comfortable with the tiny human. Once he/she starts to crawl, gurgle and grow things will change. He should help around the house for sure.
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Don’t do his laundry, dinner, pack lunches , dishes that he uses , messes he makes . Tell him you didn’t make the mess why should you clean it . And that you keep the baby alive that’s enough 
then leave him with the baby for a day and say I expect everything to be cleaned when I get home. Since he has those expectations for you he better be able to do the same . Maybe then he’ll figure it out
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- Do not leave him alone with the baby so he can see “how it is” … by the sounds of it he would do bare minimum and claim it as “see, it’s not that hard”
2.Stop everything you do for him. His clothes, picking up after him, food, cleaning, groceries that are his, literally anything that makes his wake up and go to work day easy.
Creating Children and building a home life is done with TWO. So ONE cannot push responsibilities just because they “Bring home the money” if you were not there to watch that child he would not be able to work unless he was willing to pay a hefty amount a month for child care. YOU are helping him be able to make and keep some of that money because YOU watch the baby for FREE
If I’m not mistaken he chose you to be a partner and a mother. Not a maid and a nanny. 
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Lol my ex tried that… When he had a weeks vacation I told him since it’s soooooo easy he could do it… he didn’t last a day and NEVER said anything about something not being done again… hugs
You are doing your best it won’t hurt him to help it becomes overwhelming
Walk…… he’s an idiot
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Nope fuck that! He can go somewhere with all that bullshit if he gets time off why don’t you. He is probably only saying that for arguing purposes and wants to be right about not doing shit…the fact that he doesn’t want to help and then says you do nothing is him not giving you your credit. Get a job and then tell him he can do half of everything and pay for daycare (bc it’s more than a part time job paying minimum wage)since u work to now and I bet he still won’t do shit. Put your foot down mfs treat you the way you let them treat you. Shouldn’t be any issues with him helping on his days off.
Who would clean and do all that if he didn’t have you? What do single men do? Ask him that
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Give up on life getting better, it won’t, end of story. He’s a jerk and should be helping more, but he’s not going to or he would be trying already. Leave him or don’t, but understand that he’s not going to take care of that baby during visitations that he will no doubt insist upon and he’s not going to help you monetarily if you leave either, guys like this are all the same. Stop doing things for him specifically, do what you usually do for the house and the baby and ignore his needs otherwise, let him fend for himself like an adult. If he won’t make the baby a bottle while you go to the store for him, don’t go. Tell him to get off his ass and go himself and make the baby a bottle yourself. Hopefully he’ll die soon and you can collect his social security.
No he’s your partner he’s supposed to put in 50/50 so he can help with the baby or do dishes and clean up after himself you shouldn’t have to clean up after a grown ass period
You are not being unreasonable to expect help with the house and the baby. Trouble is, you aren’t going to get it with Mr I Wear The Pants In This Family. He’s going to keep doing what he’s doing and expecting you to put up with it. For Heaven’s sake, don’t leave him home alone with me baby. The baby won’t get fed or changed till you get back. I know. I trusted my children’s father with them when they were babies and I had to go to the grocery store on a Saturday morning. It took me a couple of hours. I came home to red behinds and hungry squalling babies. I had to change them and fix bottles before I could carry in the groceries. Yes, you guessed it. He wouldn’t do that either. I should have left him then. But I was an idiot I put up with him 4 more years. Till he became abusive. Then I left. Best thing I ever did. For both the kids and me. I didn’t want my son growing up to think that was any way to treat a woman, and I didn’t want my daughter to think that was any way to live. I’d get out now while you just have the one baby.
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He’s wrong. Having a job is driving to work in peace, getting bathroom breaks, the ability to have conversations with adults, a lunch break, being able to clock out, and then drive home in peace. Being a SAHM is a 24/7 job that doesn’t end unless the partner takes over.
He either knows he has it easy, and is lazy af. Or he genuinely has no idea how hard it is. I suggest asking him to swap roles for a day. Make a schedule for him…when he has to wake up, wake baby, all the chores he has to do, when to fees the baby, nap time, ect…and run it for a full 24hrs. If he won’t agree he’s lazy af, and likely won’t change. If he agrees then he’ll quickly learn how hard it is to stay home and hopefully he’ll apologize
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Is going back to work an option and making him stay home, maybe even just for a few months. He needs a reality check.
Take the baby and take a trip to go visit family long distance for a month. Clean the place before you go and tell him since hes so busy working you expect it will stay clean. Tell him it is to be in the same condition when you get back. Your not his mom it’s not your job to clean up after him
He needs to accept that the house is going to be messy at times, we all just went upstairs to bed and I have a pile of dirty dishes to do but your know what, I’m tired and I can do them tomorrow. My kids are fed and have clean clothes and that’s at the top of my priority list.
I can’t stand men
Ewwww I work blah blah blah screw that you live here to help or go!!!
I take care of two kids daily one autistic and an 80 year old uncle that has Alzheimer’s/dementia and clean house and my boyfriend works 6 sometimes 7 days a week and he still helps clean and take care of everything
This my love is when you go out for the ENTIRE day. And leave him to look after* which as its his kid is actually parenting* and see how demanding a little baby can be.
Your doing an amazing job and it seems ur husbands needs to appreciate what you do for your family the same way you appreciate what he does for the family.
Good luck hun
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