Probably not going to be a popular answer, but you shouldn’t have cut it so close if you don’t have money to pay bills. Just not a good way to start off a marriage. I don’t blame him for taking 600.00.
I do blame you both for not discussing the budget way in advance and coming to the understanding of where each dollar is going to go if you’re that tight on funds.
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Yeah I don’t think I’d be marrying him ![:confused: :confused:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/confused.png?v=12)
I think this is a hugee communication thing. If it’s a joint account he does have rights to some money to and I understand of its for your wedding but ask family if you could lend it till after the wedding or ask if your soon to be could ask his untill his friends pay him back or his own funds pay it back idk I don’t share accounts for this reason. Everyone needs to have thier own income and money to spend. Otherwise that’s the biggest argument starter. That way if it’s seperate and you both are saving for something you open a fund account neither can touch without both agreeing.
Ya that totally sounds like someone you should vow to spend the rest of your life with. He’s telling you how irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish he is. Listen to him. He doesn’t even care about spending a ton of money that wasnt his to spend. Postpone the wedding, at the very least until he can prove he’s a mature individual that can manage money appropriately and puts thought into how his choices effect you both.
call off the wedding!!! That may be the best move you have made in years…
Shame on him for not asking if it was alright. He should of talked to you first. Good luck you may need it.
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Definitely get separate accounts.
Two options:
- Cancel the booking and he gets a refund.
- Make him ask for the money his friends owe him.
I’d also re think sharing a bank account with him if he is not good with money.
In my marriage we discuss any purchase over $150
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Well sometimes men are clueless about money and their priorities are screwed up. This is my husband of 20 years all over again. I take care of paying bills and he thinks he can spend. We wven went to counseling about it, didnt change a thing! The current battle is we are getting major medical bills coming in right now both of us had recent surgeries or medical issues and I wasnt able to work this summer due to that so no paycheck from me all summer so my concern and focus is paying off these bills and his is wanting to.buy a gun! I wouldnt count on it changing for you but good luck!
Get separate bank accounts, don’t give him access to yours…that sums it up!!
sounds like he isn’t very financially responsible, you, may be in for quite the surprise.
You didn’t pay your bills but saved for a wedding?
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This isn’t going to help this situation but it can in the future. We have 3 accts. 2 personal and a bill- NO ONE spends out of the bill account, unless it’s part of the normal bills or a discussion is had.
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Yikes. Big red flags. I’d consider postponing until you’re financially stable or he grows the F up? Lolb
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Maybe he doesn’t want to get married ![:woman_shrugging: :woman_shrugging:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/woman_shrugging.png?v=12)
But if $600 makes or breaks your finances then there’s a bigger issue
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Priorities are messed up on both of y’all’s end. Bills come before a wedding or air BNB…
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Borrow from your parents and don’t tell him, call them friends ASAO AND get THEM to pay that portion and a separate account for money that he can’t touch for bills
And you still plan to marry him? Girl that’s a red flag already.
Red flag, you will struggle forever with his irresponsibility. Step back while you can
He needs to find a way to fix this to put you at ease, he needs to stress w you; give him the opportunity to make it right. My guess is the friends do not know the time crunch on getting the money back. He needs to let them know he will be picking it up today for wedding bills.
If 600 dollars cuts you that close you have bigger issues. This is also a huge red flag . I wouldn’t get married
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You posted this before days ago. Was it here or another group. Red flags spends likd you two are not ready for marriage as lacking communication in my opinion. You need to discuss finances makes a financial agreements and rrslistic plans and communicate with each other.
Don’t get married. Go on a singles trip for yourself lol ![:joy: :joy:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/joy.png?v=12)
If there’s 1 person orchestrating the finances then everyone that spends put of that needs to have a “limit” if they want to spend more than that limit there needs to be a "hey is this amount of money alloted for something. It’s not necessarily asking permission more checking in.
Sounds like he doesnt want to get married….
Absolutely. His, her’s, bills…makes it very easy.
Some kinda tournament? Sounds like you know the person you are marrying so well!?
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why are you having a wedding that sounds like you couldn’t really afford to begin with if you aren’t paying actual bills to cover a day?
also, you don’t book anything without payment upfront. that’s adult 101. his buddies should have paid them their part before he booked.
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Don’t do it. My then BF caused my acctt to overdraft by using my card without my knowledge. Basically stole from wallet. We ended up getting married and it’s just one issue after another and I question if anything is or was the truth.
Just an FYI, this won’t change after the wedding. This is why many relationships fail. Deal with the financial issues before the marriage…know how both of you will contribute, and who is responsible for what bills. Otherwise it’ll be an ongoing issue.
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People keep saying run from him, priorities and boundaries. But you’re avoiding paying bills on time to have a wedding you can not afford. You’re no different than him. Nor are your priorities. He should run too…
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Cancel that wedding. He is very selfish! Getting Married is one of the biggest events in your live! Get rid of him he’s a big loser, very selish too! Cut it off now before you have couple babys in the mix you can’t take care of!sorry this is the only option!! Find a good man that wants a family and has good income to take of you! That’s BULL S.
Be happy you found out how he is now and run.
If you’re not on the same page with Financial resources and responsibilities then you really should separate some of the accounts! If you’re paying the bills put that money in an account only you control. Then have a joint account for you guys to use together. He needs a separate account for his ooopsies. You also should have a Separate Savings account for YOU FOR EMERGENCIES!
just remember you’re signing up to deal with that immature nonsense for the rest of your life. not for me. clear as day red flag.
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I see tough financial struggles in your future. None of it seems financially responsible
Y’all need to address the clear communication between you both especially in regards to finances. Discuss your thoughts with your partner and develop a plan together. This is the foundation of your marriage/relationship. Best wishes
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Sounds like I wouldn’t be marrying him.
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Couldn’t be me sis…
no ma’am…
Cancel the wedding, until you can afford it.
Red flag.
Cancel the wedding bc this is a sign that he doesn’t have enough consideration to check and talk with you first.
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Get him to talk to his friends and get the funds. Have you told him the funds were for the wedding? Does he have another income stream?
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Well that Wedding WOULDN’T be taking place. This is a CLEAR indicator of what’s to come.
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Should have paid them bills…
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This is an issue and he really should have talked to you first. Idk if this is something that is going to be a pattern in your marriage but I’d figure it out before getting married. But beyond that tell him he shouldn’t have spend it and now you are 600 short so there won’t be a wedding unless he puts 600 back in there. It’s his problem to figure out now and if not then no wedding.
Ummm why’s everyone blaming her? Maybe she NEVER told him what the money was for? Maybe he just got paid and thought the money was ok to spend. I can’t believe everyone supporting her when you don’t even know the other side.
Why is he spending the money without consulting you? It should be joint decision. I would be cautious if he is this frivolous now what’s to come? Are his friends needs wants more important than yours? I would talk to him
It is all about marrying your best friend, big weddings do not make anything better. Scale back and just remember how much you love one another
I usually have 3 bank accounts, my personal, another personal where my husband knows I set money aside that we are saving and shouldn’t be touched for anything else and our joint account where we both deposit money and it’s for spending in whatever we want or need. He also has a separate personal account because we all like setting money aside for personal things ( like a trip with his friends)
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See this as a red flag - cause that’s what it is.
He knew what was going on and chose his “boys” over your wedding.
Run, don’t walk.
If money is tight like that then spending money on an unnecessary ceremony is not smart. Marrying a person that is irresponsible with money the way you just described isn’t smart too. You’re both irresponsible. You aren’t paying bills to spend on a party and he’s spending money that should be used towards bills on a party for his buddies. Neither of you are ready for marriage and will probably file bankruptcy before a divorce.
I would not be having the wedding. Then you don’t have to worry about paying for all the stuff. If you think this is going to change when you get married, you are wrong it’s only going to get worse. Cheaper to cancel the wedding, than to pay for divorce later
Tell him his friends need to pay him their portion now or he’s cancelling the booking. If they can’t afford to pay their portion now, who’s to say they will pay it at all? They can book it when they get the funds and he can pay them his share when they do.
He needs to cancel and get that money back now. He needs to decide which one is more important to him. If he doesn’t deal with finances he needs to ask you about an expense like that. If at the end you don’t have enough don’t stress postpone and think about things before you make a step with someone like this.
Don’t do it. If he’s selfish now he’ll always be that way. Do you want to always feel like you do now? I’m not saying to leave him I’m saying rethink marriage at least for now. Keep finances separate if possible too.
make him prove that he wants what you want just as much in every way or don’t waste your energy pouring it into something that isn’t worth it. That’s my 2 cents.
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Ya can’t afford the wedding if your putting off paying your bills… but marry him anyway if your that desperate…truth hurts…
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Make him cancel the airbnb for the refund.
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No Brainerd!!! Cancel the wedding AND THE GUY !!!
If you don’t, you’ll pay for the rest of your life…
Don’t get married. You’re welcome
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Tell him to get the money from his friends. Straighten his ass out. You shouldn’t be getting ready to start your new life together as man n wife n your freaking out. This should be one of the happiest days of your life coming up. Hope things all come together. Best Wishes to you both.
This is a sign you should call it off. Quite literally the universe is saying don’t do it.
Did you guys have a conversation about the money in the bank and what it was for?
Red flag huge red flag! Maybe this is a sighn
If you can’t pay your bills because you want to have a party… you shouldn’t be having that party…
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Sounds like he doesn’t give a Ffffff! Does he even want to get married? Maybe this is his way if sabotaging the wedding?
When my husband and I first married almost 60 yrs ago we made a deal if we wanted to spend for something that was more than $25 we had to discuss it. As the years went on the amount increased to $50 $100 etc.
What was the agreement on the amount that was going to be spent on the wedding? Did you discuss payments and outstanding bills etc with him recently?
Get rid and find someone new.
Don’t get married if you can’t afford it ![:woman_shrugging: :woman_shrugging:](https://community.muparents.com/images/emoji/google/woman_shrugging.png?v=12)
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He made the mess he cleans it up! He can contact his friends
get the heck out before he bankrupts you or something. not to be trusted and plans on ruling the roost by the look of things. RUN
It kind of sounds like he’s trying to sabotage/:
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Letting bills lapse to pay for any party is a very bad habit to start with. Now you owe the bill and a late fee. Sounds like you needed to pare things down to something you could afford. That being said, his friend should pay him back ASAP and you should have an agreement that any purchases over $100 needs a sit down discussion. It appears you’ve already got a joint account, this should be discussed immediately.
“I don’t know how to get enough money in such a short time.”
He spent it, why are YOU the one that needs to come up with it? He’s in the wedding, too, right?
Eat the money and save yourself a lifetime of headaches money related. Money issues are a big part of people getting divorced. If he’s willing to spend money meant for something THAT big then I couldn’t imagine having kids with that person in the future
I have some advice for you…read carefully…DONT GET MARRIED …its a trap, he acting like this now!? Imagine being married to him ![:woman_facepalming: :woman_facepalming:](https://community.muparents.com/images/emoji/google/woman_facepalming.png?v=12)
Call off the wedding get the money anf deposits back and when he bitches tell him his selfish behavior to book an air bnb for friend time left u unable to pay wedding costs so as u can tell the wedding was not as important as his friends
Signs you shouldn’t be getting married
I’d run sounds alittle self centered to me it’s all about his needs before anything else plus bills should have been paid before a weeding even takes place get out while you can or your life will be miserable!!!
Do you pay for expenses ? Because you said he leaves expenses to you ? If so you need to rethink marriage to this guy. Not communicating about withdrawing money is a major red flag. That much money needed to be talked about if you already short on money. I’m not trying to discourage you in your relationship but honestly this guy doesn’t seem to be marriage material. He looks out for what he wants regardless of the situation. With people like that you will always have a hard time because they think that they can simply do what they want. Me personally I would call off the wedding. But whatever you do Good Luck to you.
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Contact the friends to pay him their share of the trip. Explain need the money urgently.
Then longer term need to discuss how to handle finances so won’t happen again. Ie have an account set aside for bills that both pay money into
Two Slick Rick’s fighting over who gets to spend the bill money on a party ![:joy: :joy:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/joy.png?v=12)
He wants a mama not a wife
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This may be hard to hear……
You should postpone the wedding. A man does not do that- a boy does.
![:triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post:](https://community.muparents.com/images/emoji/google/triangular_flag_on_post.png?v=12)
You need to be on the same page- and he needs to be an active participant and not sabotage your finances for a weekend with THE BROS.
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My wife and I don’t spend over $50 without a discussion first. Make him contact his friends and ask for the money or don’t marry him.
Cancel the wedding and the his trip cause this is what marriage will be like. This is a sign from above not to move forward with this marriage and irresponsible boy.
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Sounds like he’s not masculine enough to be a provider.
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Regardless of whether you did, or did not have the money, the fact that he spent $600 and did not discuss it with you first is a huge red flag 
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I will never understand why people need to spend so much money on a wedding Love Is Love not the size of your wedding.
It’s not too late to back out, hun. You will be taking a back seat to his buddies for the duration of this marriage. Is this really what you want? ![:pleading_face: :pleading_face:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/pleading_face.png?v=12)
I think these posts may be fabricated click bait. But either way, hopefully the trend is showing that the majority of women won’t put up with this kind of nonsense anymore… it’s 2023.
You need to talk and rethink this as my first husband lied to me about his age if it starts that way it’s just going to get worse and it did!!!
Weddings are overpriced… Sit back, breath, and ask yourself do you really NEED what you’re stressing about? Will it matter once it is all over if you have the last $600 worth of stuff? As I’m sure that you’ve paid for the most important stuff by now.
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If he doing that now
Realy think what you are getting into
Have your own bank account
I wouldn’t be getting married to someone who would spend our wedding funds for a guys trip.
Why are you having a wedding you can’t afford and why are you getting married when there’s clearly financial issues already? You’re setting yourselves up for failure. Wait until you have rent/mortgage, bills, kids etc. And when you think you’re financially stable, all of a sudden something breaks or you get a big bill for something.
get used to it since he doesn’t see the problem.
Sound like you have bigger problems than how to pay for a wedding.
Sounds like it’s time to buy a new “almost husband.” ![:joy: :joy:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/joy.png?v=12)