My husband spent money meant for our wedding....advice?

RED FLAG. Life will only get worse. Time to cut your loses.

I think all of this is a red flag you’re not paying bills and he’s just spending hundreds of dollars on a buddies trip without even talking to you first ??
Yikes.

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If you’re gonna marry this guy, you’re gonna need separate finances.

I wouldn’t marry this guy though. He seems very financially irresponsible and he’s gonna keep putting you into situations like this

Don’t worry you’ll get more than 600 in monitery wedding gifts.

Ditch him. It’ll only get worse. Doesn’t sound responsible at all

He just put his friends before y’alls WEDDING… literally one of your biggest life events.
If that isn’t enough to tell you to call the wedding off then honeyyyyyyyyy; we don’t have nothing to say.

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Putting bills off for a wedding is crazy.
Paying for others people portions of an air bnb that you obviously can’t afford is also crazy.
Yall both are not very financially responsible start there.

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I would call your bank and tell them it was an unauthorized transaction. Then promptly boot his ass because that’s just the beginning. He wasn’t even thinking about your wedding. BUT I’m curious, is it a golf tournament :thinking: :laughing:

Something else is going on here. Sit down with him and ask detailed questions. If you’re already having these issues with money, it’ll only get worse once you’re married.

Communication is key in marriage, however missing bills for a wedding seems wild to me, and not the best foot to start out on…

I am gonna play devils advocate here and say, had u communicated with him that you’re literally NOT paying bills to cover wedding expenses, maybe he would know how dire your situation is.

If u told him and he went ahead, red flags on his part. If u didn’t tell him and you’re keeping secrets from him already, then that’s on you babe! :woman_shrugging:t4: You are BOTH at fault and need to start communicating with each other, or there will be nothing but issues going forward.

Finances are one of the biggest issues couples fight over…It NEEDS to be transparent or its gonna kill the trust within your relationship.

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Wow he’s throwing you a carnival with these red flags. I wouldn’t be going through with it. Reach out to the ‘friends’ and explain everything, they owe money you have a right to chase them for it. I’d make him cancel the air b&b and get the refund back tbh

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He knew you were paying the bills and yet spent without checking, Red flag. He knew money was tight and did it anyway. Unless this changes, you’ll be broke until it does.

Money problems already and not married. Big :triangular_flag_on_post:

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Hell no don’t marry him …he’s being sneaky already big red flag :triangular_flag_on_post:

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:stop_sign: stop it!! Better yet run

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I’m sorry what? You really missed 2 bills cause you’re worried about paying for the wedding? I get it, it’s your big day but did you guys not set a budget before even planning all this out? I’m sorry but I could never miss out on my bills for something I want. That’s very irresponsible. Both of you guys are very irresponsible with money. Y’all need to take a step back and discuss all of this. Cause both of y’all are in the wrong.

Weddings are way over rated . Your bills are more important. Just having a party everyone.

You should rethink about the weeding becasue what you consider a priority it’s clearly not for him .Spending 600 from a joint account with consulting with your partner is very irresponsible.

And by the way, seems like you guys should have done something smaller for the weeding because clearly you can afford it

You both are irresponsible. Bills come before a wedding or an Airbnb.

The first issue is you are not paying bills to pay for a wedding… just like your fiance is more worried about his wants, you are as well. The wedding is YOUR want not a necessity. You want him to make all the sacrafices for what you want and dismissing the things he wants. He’s not the only red flag here. You both need to work together save appropriately before making decisions you both can’t afford. Learning to communicate with eachother will go a lot further than a wedding.

Honestly this is showing you who he is. You said his excuse was he didn’t look at the actual numbers, that means he just spends large amounts of money without thinking about it. You need to sit down and really think about whether this is the future you want. You may need to create an account just for his “fun money” that’s separate from the main account and block off his access to the main account if you stay with him. Which is basically treating him like a child. I personally don’t think I could do it and I would cancel everything. I’m so sorry this happened so close to the wedding, but if you decide this is the end then at least it happened before it all happened.

I’m not a man lover by any means. But all the comments bashing a guy is horrible. SHE didn’t pay bills because then she couldn’t pay for a wedding. Like tf?

The stuff I see on this page is wild. That right there should show u that you don’t need to marry that man. If you do your the silly one. He chose his friends over his soon to be wife AND bills that need paid.! I would cancel the whole wedding cuz clearly he don’t wanna get married.

cancle the air bnb n get a refund and then make a seperate account n put the money in it since he doesn’t know how to ask. Start treating him like a child with supervision when it comes to money if he can’t be like hey i see we have $$ is it ok if i take this mich or do we need it for something

But you gone marry him anyway…?!
You were literally given bright light to follow……

Don’t marry him. Close the account and move on

One, he was wrong to spend the money. Two, if you are that short on money, you shouldn’t be getting married yet.

It’s time to make an agreement, neither one of you do not spend more than 50 dollars without talking to each other first.

And you still want to marry him wake up now before its to late

oy vey. If that money was to be set aside for something it should have been literally “set aside” in an account he could not access. My suggestion is y’all move forward with separate accounts for “fun expenses” … one for each of you. The joint account is off limits except for bills for the household

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Red flag ! So he technically spent your money you saved. :woman_facepalming:t3: what a douch canoe

Me and my husband have a roll if it’s not groceries. Any time we spent more then a couple hundred we let the other know. It’s called communication.

If $600 stops you from getting married, maybe you shouldn’t get married.

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If he is spending money, he doesn’t want to get married

You need to have a serious talk with him about talking before spending. Not asking permission but at least talk about big spending. If it’s in budget or not and I’d layout a monthly financial planner and write everything out on it so that both of y’all know what’s available in the spending category. If y’all are not on the same page on finances this is just the start of your money issues. Get a separate bank account from him. It will be easier for you to keep up with . Sorry

If finances are that tight
Maybe the ceremony could’ve waited

Don’t listen to him, get onto all involved and say that they have 24hrs to pay their share or , and tell him this but, the wedding is off! If it was an unusually large amount in there, he should’ve just asked. It’s clearly too much to ask for a grown ass adult to use his common sense!

Why are you the only one freaking out? Think about it a bit x

I would tell his mates
They need to pay for their portion
Of the trip
Then tell hubby
That he has to rethink something he wanted at the wedding
Such as an open bar where everyone has to buy their own drinks
A cheeper honeymoon or even
The groom’s cake
Yes you will probably loose your deposits
But you will in the long run
You will be saving some money

You put off BILLS for a wedding?
Ya’ll should BOTH rethink your priorities before getting married…

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Does he gamble. Do drugs. Where was the money spent. If he does that now. Will count after married

Consider this a look at things to come, and thank him… that he is saving you the cost and the mental anguish of divorce down the road.

If you didn’t pay bills to fund a wedding, you both have issues. :woman_shrugging:

This is why marriages fail. Y’all go broke and avoid paying bills for a 1 day ceremony and then are fighting about finances until you divorce :person_facepalming:

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Problems already and y’all ain’t even married yet!? :man_detective::face_with_monocle::face_with_raised_eyebrow::unamused::roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:

HERE’S YOUR SIGN

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If your on the credit card call and cancel the room ,… easy 300 if not more back feom that

Don’t marry him, he’s clearly irresponsible.

Call off the wedding……this will get worse!

Imagine when u get married and have kids this is going to be a total
Disaster his priorities are his friend not you sadly

I’d be calling those “buddies” myself. And making your soon to be hubby :roll_eyes: looking like a fool. But I’m sure there was plenty of red flags before this.

Irresponsible of him forsure I’d be pissed. However I gotta ask why you pushed your budget to this max? I would definitely be downgrading my wedding if I couldn’t pay my bills? Him as well why would he even do this knowing yall have not just wedding bills but normal ones you didn’t pay. I’m kinda catching the vibes you’re both not that great about budgeting/money.

Oh, I could have written this myself. And I realise you probably won’t listen and feel like you can’t stop the wedding now over something that seems so minor but this is your red flag of likely future irresponsible and deeply inconsiderate behaviours whilst brushing you off and saying oops, sorry I didn’t mean that, deal with it :roll_eyes::thinking: :rage: So at least, head the warnings from myself and others on here for future situations and be prepared to stop him in his tracks by leaving next time he pulls an idiotic stunt like this. Just be warned and be ready or deal with the consequences of his actions for ever.
It’s not even ‘accidentally’ taking the $600 wedding money, the primary issue is in his response, or lack of :unamused: Why is he not sorting this issue out, it was his mistake? He should be on the phone to his buddies explaining what happened and asking them to transfer what they can immediately or cancelling the booking and getting what he can back and have another mate do the booking. I don’t buy the fact he didn’t know money was so tight before the wedding but even with the benefit of the doubt being given, he’s not doing a damn thing about it and THAT, is the telling sign that he might not care about your feelings as much as he led you to believe.
I hope we’re all wrong and he truly is just a dumbass for your sake but in my personal experience and seemingly a lot on here, it’s a sign of major bumps ahead. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this right now, it’s totally unfair :pensive:

your husband should canceling the airbnb

Tell the people to pay up and why.

If $600 is make or break it for u u definitely shouldn’t be getting married.

Cancel the wedding. Get premarital counseling. Spend time with counselor talking about money.

Pay the bills put off the wedding.

If 600 is make or breaking your wedding and personal finances, you’re both wrong. Why start your life together out like this.

So you put off paying bills to pay for a wedding? That’s not smart.
Reaching out to his friends will most likely cause problems.

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Living beyond your means is a red flag along with no Communication and hiding things like not paying bills. I was raised if you can’t afford it you don’t need it.

Is everyone glossing over “I didn’t pay 2 bills so I could pay for a wedding”?!

Sounds like you might need to cancel the wedding

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“….I didn’t pay 2 bills that were due at the beginning of the week because I wanted to try making sure we have enough for the wedding and we don’t.”

I think this is a bigger problem, your priorities are not in line. Cancel the wedding, cut your losses and go to the JP.

Not married yet and already putting bills on hold for something that really isn’t as important as heat water or electricity. Hmmm.

Im sort of in agreement with others saying you clearly cant afford the wedding your having, so maybe should of had a more affordable one plus he shouldnt of spent the money so close to the wedding and even worse you held back paying 2 bills for your wedding, financially youve both made a mess of things

See it as a god send. Would cost more than £600 to divorce him. He inconsiderate and selfish now that isn’t likely to get better cause you’ve a ring on your finger prob get worse more than anything. Go pick up the cake get a few nice bottles in change the locks and have a good life :joy:

You’re both irresponsible with money. Him for doing that and you for not paying bills to pay for a wedding instead. Recommend getting financial advisement after this situation is handled. You both need it.

You have priorities messed up…not paying bills to afford a wedding? Yet you get mad that he spends some? Come on…

Call and cancel the Airbnb

Caught ex husband robbing wishing well for cards. To pay free band. Go with your gut. Lasted one month!!! Good luck maybe it’s just a misunderstanding…

He’s putting his tournament first before your wedding so annoying and inconsiderate. Please pay attention to the red flags before you end up in a whole mess. Get out while you can.

Leave your husbands business alone.
Maybe it was his bachelorette party get away and didn’t even tell his friends to pay or divide costs. It sounds messy.

Why the fuck are you spending so much on a wedding to start with? It costs less than $100 to get married. You are literally just spending that money for everyone else’s entertainment

You shouldn’t be avoiding bills to pay for a wedding. Looks like neither of u r financially responsible enough to be married. Your marriage is already doomed

If you had to choose paying your wedding expenses over your bills…you probably should have done a cheaper wedding. :woman_facepalming:t2:

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This is why you always have your account, partner has their account, open a joint account at a bank neither of you have your personal accounts at. Communicate clearly how much each of you are putting into the account each payday for shared expenses like mortgage/rent, homeowner’s/renter’s insurance, utilities, groceries/paper products/laundry detergents/cleaning supplies ect. Then you each use your personal accounts for your credit card payments, car payments, auto insurance, lunch with the girls, Airbnb with the boys, ECT. I’ve known people who even went as far as opening another account at another bank they didn’t already use for them to put the money for their wedding.

Good luck to you. I would postpone the wedding until you can have a serious discussion about finances.

Doesn’t sound like ya all in a financial or mental position to be getting married.

Everyone saying red flags, I say maybe he just didn’t realise you hadn’t paid this money, or maybe for instance he’s booked something nice for you as a surprise etc you never know, yeah its a crapper that he’s spent the money but isn’t it a joint account for a reason and maybe he has made a mistake paying for all his mates and needing the money back etc but if it’s both your account then he might of just had a daft moment. I don’t personally think it’s a massive red flag sign or people telling you to run sounds silly to me, people telling you to leave a guy that’s spent some money is beyond stupid lol

I’m sorry…but you didn’t pay two bills because of your wedding? Sounds like both of you are financially irresponsible and that’s something to work on. A wedding is just another day, as long as you are married to your best friend by the end of the day then who cares how fancy the wedding was? We did our wedding on the cheap and I’m so glad we did because it didn’t cause unnecessary financial strain.

If this is the first, it will not be the last. He will continue to you use. I been through it before with someone took all my money and I never seen a penny back. I had over 1000 and someone took that, it was for me to get somewhere to have surgery done on my head. And I had to find a way there. Cause he took all that money for God knows what. I was furious. That money came from anybody and everybody even when I did a go fund me. So from what I had to go through, it will not be the last. Best going your opposite direction. But that’s just me. Maybe talking to him may help. But I’d be surprised if his friends will payback money. From that experience nobody ever payed me back when I loaned money. Never saw it. I had asked over and over. Finally gave up, and never again did I loan any money out.

You skipped out on bills and aint complaining he spent money knowing their bills but spent money knowing there’s a wedding coming soon? Girl tf?!? Sounds like both of y’all need to do some communication and growing up…if you ain’t got enough pennies to spare to pay all your bills you don’t need to be tryna have a wedding right now not should he have paid for a damn thing either specially that much…did he know you skipped bills?? Did he know all that money was for the wedding?? Is that both of y’all’s money or just yours cause I’ll let ya know nobody ain’t gonna tell me I can’t touch what I bring home…nor should anybody in any relationship.

You think this is bad? Wait until you’re married, have kids, etc… You’ll be wondering how you’re going to pay rent, mortgage, how your kids will eat, etc… He is showing you who he is!!! Believe him! He’s a man child! It doesn’t matter how much you’ve already spent. Cancel the wedding. His wants and needs are more important than you! Don’t worry about being embarrassed or out of money you’ve already spent. Cancel the wedding!

It’s $600. Open the first few cards let the vendors know you’ll pay them the day after due to an issue with finances. And boom $600.

Get a payday loan

Get a next day loan

Use a credit card

Dip into savings

Ask mom and dad

Ask his mom and dad

Jesus Christ the people on this fucking app. “Don’t get married now it’s not going to stop” I really can’t stand people.

I would rethink that wedding dear.

:running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman:it’s a sign of things to come

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Well I don’t know about you but I don’t think this is something I would want to be married to so maybe you should rethink your steps

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Run!!! This is a sign of things to come!!!

I was married almost 52 years and I learned early on the have my own account! I hate to think of the fix we would have been in had I not had my own account.I encouraged my girls to do the same. A joint account if fine but have your own as well.

NEVER combine your monies/bank accounts until AFTER marriage.

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No matter how much you love them, separate accounts. Saves arguments.

Rule number one. Never have all your money in a joint account.

I would pawn the engagement ring and split the account into two and tell him to move on

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Don’t go through with it, sounds like he doesn’t care much about what you feel. 

Never, never have a joint account! This won’t be the first time…

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OK so you skipped bills to pay for wedding and he spent the money?? Neither of you are ready for marriage…don’t blow me up with comments but communication is number one! Sounds like you should wait if your budget is that tight or plan something more affordable.

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He needs to get that deposit back. This is something he should have definitely discussed with you first. You’re getting married which means you’re a team. Too me that’s straight up disrespect knowing y’all are about to have a wedding. This is something that could have waited.

Y’all spend too much on weddings. It’s the little things in life!!!

If he does this to you now be prepared for what he will do in the future this is just the beginning.

Money issues before marriage. You’ll have money issues for eternity and forever. Think a minute thats what your gonna be dealing with the rest of your life.

I’m sorry. Huge red flag. Bigger then we can tell you. We see it. You won’t. Not for five or six years. Make your move now. Or after kids join the party. But it is more difficult with children involved.

Don’t Get Married if U CANT AFFORD IT🫢

Not paying bills to pay for a wedding :joy:

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