My husband thinks we spend enough time together and I do not: Advice?

I need some advice from people impartial to my situation. The other night my husband and I had a heated discussion about me telling him that we need to spend more time together. He believes that the couple hours we get together when we come home from work is enough. Some weekends he takes the kids to his parents house and leaves them there so he can go fishing or hunting or whatever he wants and I’m left home. I’ve mentioned in the past that i could go fishing with him but he never considers that because he goes with his brother. He mentioned that there was one weekend he was choosing to stay home with us but I needed a break from the kids so he took them to the grandparents house because they were acting like terrors. He does whatever he wants and when HE chooses too. He tells me that it’s all about me and he does whatever I tell him and that’s not true at all. If that was the case he would be spending time with me but he’s not. I don’t know what to do anymore.


You can’t really get an impartial opinion when the people are only hearing your side.
Not saying anyone is right or wrong here, just not going to get impartial opinions or answers.


If either person feels they need more from their partner and communicates this, then there is work to be done. One partner doesn’t get to.tell the other that their feelings aren’t valid. Period.


He’s sounding very narcissistic. Be careful. He won’t change.


He only cares about himself. Either face that is all you get and get a hobby or friends outside the marriage or get a new life.


Sounds like you need a hobby and have time to persue one, which is incredibly lucky.


Men need their own time too. He also has the stresses of work and kids and having his own chill time is healthy. If you need/want more time with him then have a calm, healthy chat and explain that you don’t want to take from his leisure time but you need some more couple time and work together to find the time. Even if it’s after the kids are in bed.

How much time did he spend with you.
Before you had kids

Are you :100:% he’s with his brother.:thinking: After 54 yrs together for us I like the ME time. But it took a long time to feel that way. Hopefully you guys can get on the same page.

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So unfortunately you can’t get a good impartial opinion from this given it’s only your side of the story. That being said, you definitely need to talk this out and find some way to meet in the middle where you both are happy

Girl, he gaslit you about your feelings. Might want to take another peak at his overall behavior, cause he sounds narcissistic.


Take notes.

It sounds silly, but seriously, take notes. A lot of the time people think their actions are acceptable and when you point something out, they want to argue the opposite.

Start writing down the time that the two of you ACTUALLY spend together and what you do. Keep a list of what he does on his own and also what you do on your own.

Then sit down and have a conversation when you have everything in writing to point out to him. Then compromise.

I personally don’t think, when you have children, that a few hours in the evening is “spending time together”. My husband and I have 4 children, 2 of them are adult children and one is a teen so he is pretty independent. Our youngest requires “reminders” for showers, cleaning her room, homework etc. Between working all day, making and cleaning up dinner, kids, showers and preparing for the next work day, we don’t have time in the evenings to really enjoy one another. My husband is up and gone for work 6 days a week by 4am. Sometimes we’re both home by 4pm. Other times he doesn’t get home until 6pm or later. Sundays are our day. Whether that be laying around the house doing nothing, out to dinner, a drive etc. And we always consult one another before making plans.

If you’re telling your partner that you’re not getting enough time and attention, he doesn’t get to tell you that you aren’t.

Personally if my husband was going fishing without me, he wouldn’t be my husband anymore lol but communication is key! If he is not will ignore to communicate and take into consideration your feelings then not sure there is a relationship…

I would say go to counseling. You guys need to reset and address things and concerns you have in your relationship. This is going to get worse and since you aren’t ok this would be a neutral way to have of of your concerns addressed.

If he’s taking the kids to his parents Anna you’re kids free… if he does his own thing… then you should do your own thing too…

My husband and I found when we put the kids to bed earlier and tag teamed we got 3 hours a night together. On the weekends this is especially nice. Mind you we have to work together and work hard at it. I have to admit I would love if we had family close by to have time to ourselves or individually

It time to tell arrogant husband that your not going to tolerate any more and he is about to leave.

You are way too clingy fuck that for a game of soldiers no wonder he goes away with his brother

If he can’t be bothered to do stuff with you find someone that does

Wait- do you want your kids to go to the grandparents? Is it just me or is that weird? If I’m home alone why are they at grandpas most weekends?

I can’t accurately respond because I had a similar situation and were divorced now. He was cheating.

I am going through the same thing but we aren’t married. I can’t stand it and I don’t think I can make the relationship work. My needs aren’t being met and I’m too unhappy.

I lived this exact life for 8 years. Finally decided since I’m a solo parent that’s what I’d be. “WE” (the kids and I) were soooo much happier. I hate to say it but tell him to go fish with his brother permanently.

You are way too clingy. Next weekend take the kids to his parents, leave him home. Do you have 2 vehicles, if not get another. If he can take off and go fishing you can afford it. Suggestion #2, tell him to have his friend pick him up so you can have the car. If these cause problems you are in a 1 sided relationship. Suggestion #3, leave him home with the kids take the car tell him your going shopping or something and leave.

Not saying either of you are right. Its hard to provide advice when we hear only your side.
Pick up a hobby- something you enjoy doing.
However, communication is key. Your feelings & your partners are both valid. Maybe see about setting aside date night or a date day every few weeks.
I’m sure my husband gets tired of me :sweat_smile::sweat_smile::sweat_smile: But I just tag a long… usually bitch and complain that I don’t wanna do what he’s doing…but I there :sweat_smile::sweat_smile::sweat_smile:

I am up my husband’s ass like all the time

Maybe plan activities including the whole family. Why are you home alone when your kids are at grandmas?

Sounds like he’s getting plenty of time for himself. They need to have time together to. They spend a couple hours together but thats all. Sometimes when the kids aren’t home they need to go on a date night. I don’t think she’s asking for alot