I would take it as he really doesn’t want to be with me so there’s no point in continuing the marriage and go find someone who actually did want to be with me. There’s no love there and it’s a waste of time
Leave, unfortunately you can’t make someone want to be with you. And the last thing you need is to hear of an affair. Count your losses and cut the rest short. I’m sorry to sound so crude. I don’t mean to, my mother always taught me to listen to actions. Life will go on and you will find a better,happier version of yourself in the future. You are worthy of someone who is present and who is willing to go through this crazy life in unity 
good luck and happy new year
Sounds like you both have issues you both need to over come whether together or not.
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If you don’t have an outside job how will you support your kids alone? Does sound like he’s burned out. Try getting some kind of job while he is home to watch the kids and see how things go when he sees you working to help with the finances. If he improves you will know if he really does love you or not.
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You’d be better off without him and so much happier. NO ONE has the right to hurt you like that. Show him you deserve so much better than HIM
Leave him. You have value and are a queen. Raising a family and maintaining a home IS A FULL TIME JOB. you saved him thousands in daycare.
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Well…step back for a moment. Look at the whole picture. You are home…he works. Now, of course it’s nice when the husband helps out…but it sounds like he is the soul financial supplier. And THAT means…that there shouldn’t be much left at the house for him to do. You are home. He isn’t. Now, I am a mom of 3 and a teacher…and I know that it is exhausting being a mother and spending time with your kids and keeping up with the house. But he is doing his part.
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What do you mean “ What does that mean”? He obviously wouldn’t be with you if y’all didn’t have kids! How much clearer do you need it put. I wouldn’t stay with someone who felt that way 
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The way I’d take it is he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. That’s pretty much what he’s saying to you. He’s only there to help support the kids because you don’t work. Get a job and start taking care of yourself and leave him. I kind of understand where he’s coming from. I don’t want to support someone for the rest of my life while they sit at home and I go to work every day. I’d want some help. He really shouldn’t have to be doing anything if you’re home all day and he goes to work and supports all of you. He should spend time with his kids but cooking and cleaning or whatever shouldn’t be something he has to even think about.
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Well sounds to me like you were In his eyes DUMPED before he told you that the first time.ide only have to hear that ONLY ONCE. after that. GOTCHA an BY BY FAILISHA… THAT’S way more than a hint. Your better off without him.
GD luck.
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It’s a toxic situation, your partner shouldn’t have to be in a relationship where he isn’t happy, no should either of you be in a relationship you’re not putting in the effort to work together as a team, and although you two are involved and your feelings matter of course, first and foremost are your children’s feelings and emotions and what they need, they need happy parents with a healthy relationship and at this point neither of you are providing that which means something has to change right?
At this point if you’re not both going to give %100 the best option may be counselling, to help you both communicate better and be hled accoutnable for the things you can do to help the situation and provide a healthy environment for the whole house, if this doesn’t go the best way maybe you need to seperate, whether that be temporary or permenant but this situation is definately not healthy, none deserves to be unhappy.
Find a lawyer ASAP. Find out if you’ll get more alimony if wait to get a job. Learn what your rights are
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If you’re going back to work anyways, you should also leave him 
Take care of you and your children. If he wants to leave let him go.
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I said that to my ex husband , no point staying when ya not happy
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For those saying that he shouldn’t have much to do because she is home all day, do y’all know what its like to be home all day with kids? It is NOT easy, & she pulls her own weight even though she doesn’t work. My SO works 6 days a week, I stay home with our 4 kids & maintain the house. He still comes home & helps me, because that’s what SHOULD be done. Just because he works, doesn’t excuse him from helping with the house or his kids. So thankful that I have someone who sees my value, not the maid in me. I’d leave him in a heartbeat. He doesn’t see your value for YOU or the things you do. You’re better on your own. 
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Um my husband works full time and still helps around the house when asked. And sometimes without being asked. He lives here too. He eats, showers, put trash in the can, drags his shoes everywhere in the house with God knows what on them. He can help too sometimes. Now, I dont always ask him to help. Occasionally I’ll ask for help w the dishes, maybe even making dinner. We are a team. Just bc i am home doesnt mean its my job to be solely responsible for all household work. I do my part and only ask that sometimes he help out. I do laundry, clean, cook, take care of pets and their care, take care of my kid to and from school dr app etc. Why is it if a man works he doesnt have to do anything at home? Its 2020 folks. Not 1900.
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He’s giving you heads up. I think he still loves you but he’s tired. Talk to him about what he’s feeling, have a serious talk with him about what going on in his life. Talk to him about you going back to work.But get ready with plan B. Every body should have a plan B.
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You both need counciling as you both may be depressed
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This man child obviously does not love you, does not care. He said it plain and simple. In his mind and heart he does not want to be with you.
You two are not happy. No reason to stay. Find a lawyer and leave him.
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I’d give him what he wants. My husband tells me he’s only there cause the kids? Cool here’s divorce papers. I’m not gonna waste my time with someone who don’t want me. “Hope you’re happy now”
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Is money tight? Why don’t you work? Why wait til next year? You may have legit reasons why not so I am not trying to say you don’t… just curious… financial issues cause a lot of strain that both of you may feel differently… could you work part time? Marriage is 100 percent and 100 percent from both parties in order to work. Are you at 100%? Maybe focus on you seeing someone for the depression, getting a job- it will make YOU feel better for many reasons and give you an outlet. Do what you can and see if the relationship improves… you dont want to walk away and realize depression ruined your marriage. Worst outcome is you get help and feel better and you still split. You will still be in a WAY better position for you and the kids. Good luck!
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I think you guys should sit down and talk it out. Maybe talk about going to couples therapy and seeing if that helps. I give you props for wanting to start work soon. Being a SAHM isn’t easy because you literally don’t get a break.
Don’t listen to the negativity. I don’t think your instant solution should be to leave, but try to get to the root of the problem and try to fix it. If it can’t be fixed then take whatever step is best for you and the kids.
Good luck, my dear.
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Why are you still there? Ugh. 
I would never stay within someone for the kids. It doesn’t provide them with a happy home, that’s a fact. If you’re both unhappy, make plans and move on. Life’s to short 
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Next time he says that, go to your bedroom, pack his bag then take it to him and say “ok, bye”.
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Get a job and move on, he clearly doesn’t love you and has no respect at all for you.
Your depressed because he is a jack ass and has no respect for you or the kids.
Some ppl say U SHOULD STAY FOR THE KIDS …but sometimes the reason to LEAVE is for the kids
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I’d be heartbroken if my husband said that to me. I’d either say let’s go to counseling or we need to separate. Kids know when mom and dad are unhappy. Your children need to see happy healthy people even if y’all aren’t together. A decision needs to be made soon because your children need it.
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Why would you want to be with someone that dose not love you?or want to be with you? In other words he is telling you he wants a divorce. So get your ducks in a row now and let him go. Sue him for child SUPPORT.make him pay the kids medical bills. And daycare too.
Maybe it’s time to make a plan for a way out. If you all are not happy together and there really is no turning things around. I wouldn’t waste your time with him another day. You can both parent without being together. Sounds like he has some growing up to do.
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We have a LOT in common. Feel free to message me.
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It is common to blame the partner when reality smacks you in the face. F I r some reason, too many men stop courting their wives, expecting them to run the household without any help and paying the the bills means his job is done. If he treats his wife as the maid and cook, don’t expect a sexy sultress. She,s hired help.
Tell him to go then. You will still get his paycheck child support & possibly alimony.
He should help with the kids! Idc if he works full time & your a sahm. Does it pay to go to work? What is childcare costs?
In all realities if he’s not happy it’s feeding you & the kids. The house isn’t happy & that is no way to live. The kids watch you two, they learn what to expect & how they can (not should) treat their SO!
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LET HIM GO!!! It’s 2020…new year…new decade…time to be happy even if it means being single! FLY…First Love Yourself!!
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IMHO, if you a tree w a stay at home mom and he is working…it is your job to take care of the home, kids,meals etc. And his job is a paycheck. Why dont you get a job? Why are u home doing nothing as he says? Pick up yourself and find your worth. No one can do that for you
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He needs help sounds like he is suffering depression… but on saying that why does he want to hurt you.
It truly does take two to hold a house down meaning that house work and work. Having just him working is so hard on him alone but women dont see that. It adds such more of a burden. Im positive that if you were working and trying to provide something as well it could change the dynamic of the situation a little. Not saying shams. Are any less. Especially with ypung children its hard to go to work to pay for child care. But at the same time its the effort. He feels the same about bringing in money as you do helping woth household chores and kids. But if my man said that id leave for sure.
Let him go. How dare he undermine & be little you whilst being emotionally abusive. Kick his ass out the door- no one should say “staying just for the kids”. Kids arnt stupid and hes using it to control you.
Kick him to the curb
Get yourself and your kids safe. Get counseling.
File the divorce and leave
I had this exact thing and eventually my partner (not husband) sat me down one evening and told me he didn’t love me anymore and that if I didn’t leave with my son right now, that he would kill himself he was that unhappy.
This man is telling you all you need to know and one day you won’t be able to run from those feelings any longer
I am so so sorry
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This was my marragie, I was very unhappy, to the point I had an affair. I told my husband about the affair and since that day, he realise what we could have lost. We decided to change our marragie around and even see a marragie counselor.
Throw him the fuck out. Ur better than that
Get your job and then let him go. He is telling you he does not love you. It also sounds like he needs help. You cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves. He will just drag you down with him.
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Oh yes get child care and a job. Establish yourself. Make your own money and be pro-active and the cost for a place though I think at a point husband should leave so kids are not up rooted. First a job, child care get that done then file for divorce, child support, he finds his own place. In the meantime do not complain to him about anything!! Let him be with his gaming addiction it is a release for him. I worked and kept the house up. Had a baby too. Don’t mention divorce but take care of yourself and the kids. Kids will need to adjust to child care first. My son was in child care since 3 mo so he was well adjusted already. Don’t know the ages of yours, there are great daycare facilities though. Schedules and learning also being around other kids. In school yet? Marriage sounds like it is over just bide your time and prepare to be single with children. You are strong, if depressed see your doctor. Honestly being single with a child wasn’t bad at all!! Both my son and I were happier, no silent stress anymore. If I can do it you can too!! I had never lived alone. You are stronger than you think!! My Best to you and a successful future.
You deserve better than that. I say go ahead and get a job and leave him you’re already doing everything else on your own. He’s a selfish asshole if he thinks it’s okay to come home from work and sit on his ass while you take care of all the household responsibilities. You deserve to feel loved, of course you are depressed but probably because your husband is a jerk to you. I’m so sorry, maybe once you leave or tell him to leave he’ll have a wake up call
Sounds like he has given up on the marriage and is depressed. It’s up to you to decide if you want to save the marriage. Speak softly and with love when you tell him how you are feeling. Facbook is not the place to look for answers, talk to your heart instead. God Bless !
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Honestly I leave
… u dont wanna end up like shannan watts
Believe him. He means it. He wants you to get a job so you can support yourself when he leaves. You better get a job soon before he just up and leaves
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Leave. He obviously doesnt love you.
He is clearly tired of carrying the entire financial burden of the family on his shoulders and has asked you before to get a job to help - you are clearly burned out on being the sole homemaker… you’ve both communicated your needs and issues to each other but you are both too into yourselves to actually hear the other person… you guys need counseling so you have a mediator to help you HEAR each other
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Just tell him to leave you and kid’s don’t need this anymore.
Get yourself and your kids safe
Keep his belly full and his balls empty and he will do anything you want !!!
That is him telling you he doesn’t love you. I would say that it’s time to consider a divorce. It’s harder on your kids if you stay with him and let him treat you like that, and sets a bad example for them to follow in future relationships.
Go to work…split the bills and household chores!! Maybe he will get the feel of running a household. Have him take the kids to appointments, as well.
Npt good for any of u! Get a way from this idiot!
Try Counseling? If not divorce. Staying together for the kids just creates a toxic environment for them.
Go to work and then boot his caboose out.
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Get a job, save money, and leave him. Put the kids in daycare if needed. He’s an asshole and you dont deserve that
My husband was man enough to propose a divorce and I got a job and supported our kids with his child support help. Just do it. He needs to see whose fault his problems really are.
Tell him to get the hell out.
This is so sad. He probably does love you but hates the lifestyle. Step into his shoes
He works all day probably a job he hates and then comes to your depression and complaining I’m sorry hun but I would call it quits too. A marriage only works if you both put a lot of love, patience, respect,understanding and communication in the relationship. I think you should get a job ASAP so when he walks out that door you won’t feel that financial situation hit you as hard and love yourself more and go get help with you depression you know it’s sad but people don’t like Tobe around depressed people and your kids need you . Good luck
You aren’t you if you aren’t happy and thriving. It’s just a shell. Real happiness, true happiness. That’s what kids should see. Someone else will appreciate you where another doesn’t.
I was in a relationship like that. I got tried of the B.S. Packed my bags & left never looking back. I am so much happier wake up to a happier person. Don’t wake up to a ugly face anymore. Life is awesome being single don’t have to answer to no one. Live, laugh, love.
Shouldn’t stay together just for the kids. They can sense both parents’ misery. Better to have two happy homes than one miserable one.
Communication is paramount for any relationship. It sounds like there was little to no communication until the stuff hit the fan. If the relationship is worth salvaging we must remember what it was that made us love this person in the first place. It’s human nature to remember and focus on the bad but this person did bring you joy at one point. Relationships are hard and work. Take time with each other.
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Gaming is a huge issue in marriages- it replaces the family. If he thinks he is unhappy- just wait until all the bitterness and burnout overcomes you. Selfish man.
My heart goes out to ya.
Pro tip: If ya do decide to separate, take the weekends. He can do all the shopping, feeding, laundry, doctors’ appointments, carpooling…
Yup, its time to leave! Even if it’s not an actual divorce… I would at least do a seperation for a while.
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I would say that you need a little marriage counseling, it seems you are both holding some animosity between you and if you are unable to sort them out yourselves you may need help
Screw that. Life’s too short. Someone better is out there 
your kids shouldn’t see people not even like each other be together. Just my opinion.
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Never stay just because of the kids. The kids pick up on the tension between you two and they know you’re not happy. I’d be packing up and heading out. Life’s too short to be in a miserable relationship. Move forward and be happy.
My ex husband and I had the gaming issue. I worked 2x harder to support him and our children. We got to this point and realized that we had basically became room mates instead of husband and wife. We are happily divorced and he has a new family as do I. Our kids are happy and thriving because they spend time with their dad. Its hard and alot of pressure being the only one that works in a marraige, maybe his gaming is his winding down time as I would read. I would try a trial separation and take time for each of you to find yourselves again. However if you guys arent happy then staying toghether for the sake of the kids will make it worse.
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Be sure when tou get a job, to have a separate bank account, if things go bad, you will need a safety net, good luck x
If he doesn’t love you then that’s not healthy for anyone kids included. I hope maybe you going to work and what you normally take care of isn’t getting done then he will see. I would do what I need to to care for the kids and myself and see where it goes. Can’t miss something unless it’s gone.
He needs a brain enema. Stupidity starts with threats and bullying . He needs to quit his selfish attitude and remember why he loves . I’m sorry to say , he’s probably having an affair
She didn’t like that I told her she was an ass.
Is anyone curious what possibly brought him to where he is? Or are we all just assuming things were sunshine and rainbows?
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Don’t put yourself through the pain of staying just for the sake of the kids.
Wtf does this have to do with Holiday’s? Find somewhere appropriate for your relationship questions.
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Tell him to hit the road
Get a job and get out
So sorry 
but, it’s time to move on…it sounds like he feels trapped in the relationship and the fact that he mentioned it not once but twice about the kid’s…yeah move on…you and your children deserve to be happy and not a burden… Good luck
Ok, what you gonna do about it?
Throw him to the curb