My husband took money from our kids...advice?

My husband has a gambling issues and took out kids money from their piggy banks…I didnt know until today and I could tell he was lying when I confronted him…I am so upset…my kids have been saving for years to buy an expensive item of their choice…I want to leave but have no where to go…what would you do?


I wouldn’t be looking for a place to go…He would!!!


He has stole from the kids, get rid of him! No matter if he has a habit of some sort does not give him the right to steal from anyone let alone his own kids. That’s disgusting. You and the kids deserve so much better.
Tell him he needs to pay back every single penny he has stolen from the kids, with interest


Find somewhere to go that is unacceptable and unforgivable. Also take what you can out his account to replace your kids savings untile he has fully paid off his debt with interest like a loan shark!


Kick him out and tell him to pay back the money hes stolen. You definitely need to keep all the kids Funda and your own funds in a bank account that he doesn’t have access to.

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My partner did that when I had given birth to our daughter. I had saved a nice nest egg for our baby. He came to hospital with expensive flowers and chocolate. Arrrr bless him. NOT he used my money to buy it, and the rest he blew at the casino. I had fallen out of love and began to loave him. A few years later I told him to go.


Contact the county, a social worker, a women’s center, the mental health hotline and find out the resources available to you.

I hope you have your own bank account to which he doesn’t have access (if not, open one now) and maybe your own car titled in your name only. See if you can open bank accounts for the kids to which your husband cannot have access. This might have prevented his theft.

Do you rent or own your residence? If own, are you both on the title? If lease are you both on the lease? Do you have an income of your own? If not, could you support yourself? Do you know if he’s in debt to any loan sharks? That could put your family in danger. If you divorce and he owes alimony and child support, insist it be garnished from his wages before he is paid if he is employed. Not sure how that works if he is self-employed.

Call the police and see if you can report that he stole their money. Might scare him into getting help. I’m assuming he’s refused to attend Gambler’s Anonymous or get counseling for his addiction. You could threaten to leave and take the children unless he gets help if you think that would motivate him, but ultimately he has to want to quit.

If you have medical insurance use whatever mental health benefits you have to help you and the kids deal with the situation. Also talk to a divorce lawyer to see what’s possible.

Not sure if it’s possible to connect you with anyone on this forum who would be willing to take you in and lives close by if that would help; maybe ask the administrator.

I’m so sorry for you and the kids. I hope you are able to get out from under your husband’s addiction.


get a quiet savings account and squirl away. use it to leave when you can.

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Ask yourself what if he were using it to buy drugs, what would you do? It’s the same thing. That’s one of the lowest things a “parent” can do is steal from their own child.


Why do you have to leave? Put him out babe. Oh and be sure to tell his whole damn family, let them have an intervention for him and get him to leave you alone.

Make Him leave and get Help! He has the problem so he needs to leave :person_shrugging:
Set boundaries and keep them. Tell him he can’t come back home until he gets actual help and changes his behavior. Otherwise you’ll lose Everything not just piggybank money. You shouldn’t struggle to move your kids bc his actions. Make him leave legally separate so he knows you are serious!


I think there are many factors to consider… How long have you been together? How long has he had this problem? Is he a good spouse and father otherwise? Does he contribute regularly, financially to the household?
I don’t understand all the people saying to leave your husband. You made vows. You don’t break those vows because of a mistake. You communicate. Talk to each other. Talk to a professional if you need to. Make him get treatment. Let him know that it is absolutely unacceptable. And try to make it less tempting or accessible to him while he gets help. You don’t just throw away a marriage. The vows are “in sickness and health, in good times and bad”. If this has been an ongoing issue and you have tried and he will not get help, or if he doesn’t contribute or isn’t invested emotionally, Only then consider separation or divorce, as a last resort.


From the way I read the story there has been other things going on & this is the last straw. If you fear him, yes leave. If not don’t go anywhere make him leave. There are programs that can help you file for divorce, find a place, help you get a job, daycare, ect. If your worried about him or government taking your kids homelessness isn’t a valid reason to remove them from you.
If you feel he’ll get help & this I something you can work through don’t leave. Maybe take the kids to your parents, family or friends house. Never leave the state with the kids without his permission he can file kidnapping charges on you.
Good Luck


Make him leave. There are plenty of programs to help you but you have to want the help. He would have been gone the moment I found out. You don’t need him, you can do this


Ask him if he want his kids to see him as a burden for the rest of his life, because that’s what he is to them, and that’s all that they’ll see him as until he dies if he doesn’t make a change now and prove otherwise, they may not hate him but they certainly won’t respect him. And they won’t respect you as their mother for allowing this to be their reality, there’s always options, it may not be easy exits and it may not be comfortable for a long time but if he doesn’t want to get help, you can’t make him. All you can do is not allow him to Financially abuse your children.


I want to leave but have no where to go… I hate how much I hear this. Financial control is such a real thing and this man is a gambler? Stealing from your own kids… what a shame. Find a part time/side gig job find something you can make or create and save up some money. Your kids need to get away from this situation, they’re learning they can’t trust their parents and that’s never good.


I’d leave.

Set up a separate bank account and save up for moving.

Do not get sucked back in. He stole from his own children: and not doing something about it or staying teaches your children to put up with it.
Future relationships will statistically be the same for them bc they learned it at home.
End the cycle NOW.


He has literally stolen from his own kids. Yuck. He’d be out that door so fast


Yea that is way crossing a line that you can’t ignore. Not only is he risking the security of your family but to actively use the kids is abhorrent.
Make him leave, require he get help before allowed back.
It will only get worse and you will all end up homeless at this rate.


I’ve been there. I would talk to him. Tell him that he needs help. That this isn’t what happiness looks like. That you love him so much and that you would do anything for him but that you are not gong to sit here and watch him harm himself and your kids. Talk from your heart. If he refuses help then you may need to ask him to leave and reiterate what I said before: you’re not going to watch him hurt himself and your kids.

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Make him leave. Next thing you know he will have another mortgage on your house. Gambling is a hard habit to break. Pretty low for a dad to steal from his kids.


If I was in your situation, I would make him leave. He won’t get help unless he is ready and makes the choice to do so. Don’t make it become your responsibility and cause you to think that you can help change him, because it’ll just end up consuming your life while the situation turns into a vicious cycle. It has gone too far the moment he THOUGHT about taking from your children. ;(

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You can stay, make him go. He can find a place. Get a divorce. Get a different saving account and save it for when you need it, don’t tell him.


You need to talk to him and let him know that he has pay the children back. You also need to address his gambling addiction. He has to agree to getting professional help. You can’t help him, nor anyone else unless he wants to help himself. If he doesn’t want to get help, you have to make some hard decisions. You need to understand that if he doesn’t get help, this is going to only get worse. Do you want to continue to subject yourself and your children to this? If he can’t or won’t leave, you will have to. Contact local housing authorities or faith based housing groups for housing assistance.

He needs to seek help for his gambling addiction immediately. You need to work on your exit plan. This is only going to go one of 2 ways. Don’t sit back and allow him to steal from your children.

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Hes an addict and he needs help…but he’s got to want that help. Nothing you do or say will make him change his ways until he is ready.
Start a bank account for your children and make sure they put any money in that.
Tell Dad he has to apologise to his children and repay the money he stole.
Start a bank account for yourself that he has no access to…youve got to know you can pay bills, food, rent etc so put any money in that account including his wages .
Tell him he has to leave until he’s willing to get help…there is no reason you can’t still have a marriage IF you want one but he must get help for his addiction or you’ll end up homeless .

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That’s so wrong lovely I would leave if he thinks it’s okay to steal from his children so so wrong also think of it this way you will end up in so much debt if not already and maybe loose your house ect think of it this way start fresh without the risk of him going and gambling it all away 🩷

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I borrow from my 11 year old son all the time. Most recently to pay for my $50 dental co pay. He will get it back when I get it :roll_eyes:


That’s a low low he can go stay with somebody

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I went to interval house, hopefully everywhere have safe house for women to go when she needs too

Sorry that sounds like a hard situation. I’d start by buying a lockbox for my kids’ money and let them know it’s safer if mommy holds on to it for them. You don’t have to tell them why, just tell them you want to make sure it’s safe. The banks lock up the money so maybe we should too. (I also don’t know how old your kids are and I was trying to be age appropriate.)

make him call his mother. Take whatever money he has access to including his wallet and hide it. Make him write apology letters to the kids. Wait till he gets paid and take your kids on a vacation. The day you leave shut off your electricity. Cut holes in all his socks. Do not throw a snow globe at his face or his feet. Do not punch him in the face a couple times. Do not wake him up by blasting loud kids bop.

Does he work? Did he contribute to that money?


My don has 400 saved from birthdays tooth fairy that is he’s he’s saving for something he really wants that’s insane he’s a better saver then I am

Find away to leave. Make him pay it back.
Make him move out (if name isn’t on anything) tell him to get help or he won’t have a family in the future

Addition issue here. You need to take your kids and leave

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Ohh hell no when you’re stealing from your own kids, you have a problem


Stealing from you own kids it’s the lowest you can go

Leave. Make a plan. Gambling is a no go for me.

Make him leave. Get a divorce

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Open your own banking account. Put your money and kids in that account, start preparing because a gambler is worse than a drunk, he will sell the house, cars,furnishings right out from under you.

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File for divorce. Get a lawyer & make him leave. Set up bank accounts for your kids with a grandparent’s or other relative on it. This way it’s not a marital asset. Once the divorce is final you can add your name.

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Make him put that shit back, I don’t care how he gets the money but he will do so in x amount of time or xyz will happen. Lol.

Start saving for away out

If you are preparing to leave start putting money aside now. Separate account ASAP, he doesn’t have to know.

Move the kids money to a child’s savings account that he doesn’t have access too. You can use it as a way to teach them further about money and banking… doesn’t have to be about hiding from dad!

There are places that can help you get back on your feet. Sadly, you are a victim of Financial violence and you will qualify for support through DV programs and grants. Use them. If you are wanting to leave, this likely isn’t the first time.

I’m a single mother with 3 kids who just left my husband of 9 years. My inbox is open.

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If he stole from any other family members, what would you do? Maybe make a police report? Absolutely leave him?
I wish people saw children as HUMANS with rights.


Makes ya wonder if its more then gambling. This seems like hes a drug addict!

It’s not going to stop. Stealing from your kids is another type of desperation.
Join gam-anon, get yourself support and inform yourself about the disease to protect yourself.

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My anger issues could never

Make him leave!!! If he will steal from his own kids there imagine what else he’ll do…

File a police report and follow thru


You could sue him for it. And I would. After he got his ass out of my house.

You speak with the financial advisor at your bank to set aside money, see every family lawyer that offers free consults. talk to your family or close friends and make a plan to leave. Wtf?
Depending on how much, press charges. He needs help and you are the adult. Find out if you’re in a one party state. If so, record him admitting to it on audio or video. (Ensure to start recording and say the date, time, year before so it’s useable) Go to the police and press charges. He didn’t need the money for a valid reason and will pay it back, he used it for a habit. A habit that can end badly for all of you. He gets deep enough in the hole you risk losing your home, cars, financial future. You’re married. That debt can carry over to YOU. :woman_facepalming:
Do something. But ensure it involves protecting yourself and your kids.
Hell, pm me if you need a cheerleader. I got you.
Protect your kids and your future.

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Nope. Done. Bye! You take from ur own kids, you’re TRASH! Time for a divorce attorney immediately. You’re a shit parent if u stay!!