He sounds like he is an ungrateful jerk! You are raising HIS children by yourself. He can’t even be bothered to change a diaper. Unreal.
That sounds abusive and controlling. Honestly communicate how you feel and tell him that at this point that you feel like a single parent and a child with rules. Just because he’s working does not mean it’s ‘his money’ technically you are together and have kids so it’s both of your money and he came to the decision that you will be at home while he works.
You need to leave. He is not being a good husband, a good father, nor a good human being.
It seems like you have a support system from your mom, so you will have to find a job, a babysitter, and start working to help your kids. If they continue being around a person like him, they will grow up to feel unloved, and will probably need therapy. He isn’t being a true provider. He only cares about the money he brings in, and nothing else.
Leave. You and your kids will be so much happier if you just leave.
There’s no way I’d put up with that!! You are already basically a single mother, you just have him around to degrade you. I’d be out 
I think ur husband is tired , he works alot . Men are men and they dont Express their feelings n fears well. Maybe he needs a little TLC himself.
U can leave or stay n be miserable or try something different. I know ur tired too mom , y’all have a heavy weight to carry. Sending prayers
Don’t walk. Run. Get away from him.
Leave this man seriously. I know easier said than done. But this man is mentally and emotionally abusive. He calls your son a brat. You’re not crazy your husband is a fricking nut job that’s gonna end up going crazy sooner or later n it won’t end well for you and your children. I’m sorry but the minute a man puts down their own child he’s got to go and not be allowed to see them unless it’s supervised by a social worker or they take a parenting class or both. I suggest you see if you can stay with your mom for a little bit and figure things out for you and your children cause this man ain’t good for you and since you got depression and anxiety this type of relationship will eat you alive one way or another trust me I’ve been there done that and started to slowly lose my mind cause of the mental/emotional/financial abuse.
I think you deserve more respect
pack up the kids and leave your already doing it all on your own
Leave. It won’t get better
Go talk to a counselor he sounds like a narcissist…it won’t get better and now you know why the X left him keep your head up and I suggest you get out of that emotional abuse relationship best of luck
He’s a narcissist!!!
If he treats you like that it’s abuse!!
Leave him he’s an ungrateful asswipe 
Leave. Your kids deserve better, and so do you.
I agree with the other ladies that you should leave even if only for a few days maybe he will see how much you do and that you deserve respect. That’s gaslighting at it’s finest and also financial abuse …I pray that you 2 can work things out and he gets his act together cause them beautiful angels deserve better then him
He’s a textbook narcissist
Your husband has a problem. Counseling. , maybe?
Go. If you’re doing it all on your own and all he’s providing is the roof then go girl. There’s so many resources, file for CS, and just take care of those beautiful babies the way you’re doing. It’s better for them in the long run, guaranteed. You deserve someone that can take care of his family and not make you feel like shit when what you do is just as important if not more. You deserve the world and so do those kids.
Sweet Momma. He doesn’t care about his children. You can tell because he has them scattered among woman. My son was in the NICU for 5 months. I did all of it on my own. He’s now 27. Most special needs babies can’t go to daycare. Especially now with Covid. You are a strong woman. You do not need a man, a bad father figure hanging around your neck like a millstone. My son’s father had 5 kids 5 mom’s. He has no relationship with any of them. I wish you the best. You got this. 
Everyone saying leave? Why not try counseling or get him into the doc. Unless he was always like this and you still carried on to be with him and have children with him. Men can get post natal also. He is already working extra shifts. He is probably exhausted and not dealing with it. Yeah i get its hard for you, but its not just about you. Men suffer too. If nothing changes then leave but far out, he is your husband. Atleast see if anything can be fixed
Run 
this is abusive behaviour
He needs to work on things not you
In that case of the doctors appointments and needing a ride there I would take the vehicle while he’s at work so you could get things done
It’s not like he’s using it
Unless he does
But then if it’s that much of an issues if you can get another vehicle
But on him treating you that way and talking to you that way is not okay
Being a stay at home mom is round the clock
Not a !!
just for example 9am to 5pm job
And your depression and anxiety and feeling is not a reason for him
To call you crazy
He should learn how to communicate and learn that it’s not just him anymore
Ughhh I’m sorry hugggggssss
I could have written this myself. I have a preemie special needs daughter and a husband that works 2 jobs. Its stressful and hard having two kids and one needing a lot of appointments and covid restrictions. It’s easy for everyone to tell you to leave but none of us know your relationship with your husband. I do know that the nicu journey alone is A LOT of stress and pressure on families. Men have a hard way of expressing their emotions about it. Either way there’s no excuse for him to yell at you and be disrespectful. Feel free to message me if you want to talk to someone going through something similar. 
Narcissistic and gaslighting. Run
First collect financial and other important papers then go to a lawyer and move in with your mom if you can.
Wow… yall need counseling or you need to leave… this is so toxic and awful and it hurt to read honestly… my husband works all day but he get uo with our 16 month old watches him till he has to leave so I can sleep in some when he gets home he takes over kid duties and night feeds half of his entire check goes into a joint account with my name on it and he pays the bills with his other account so that if I need to buy anything for our kid I can… on my husband’s off day I’m “off duty” even tho I still play with my son I’m 33 weeks preggo and I take those days to rest … point is you need a help mate parenting and marriage isn’t 50/50 it’s 100/100 he only obligation isn’t just to work its to his family as well your work is your family … I hope you find help
Thinking you already know the answer. Only you know when you’ve had enough of the narcissistic POS. Get out while you can. Wish you and your kids well.
ABSOLUTELY. Get away while you can.
If u think you should leave then you should leave
So does he think because he works and pays bills etc that’s all he does Lmao 
I’d be gone see ya bye bye loser 
He is a NARCISSIST!! BE VERY CAREFUL… but definitely get out.
Have you talked to the ex? Too bad,you sound like you really love the kids…all of them. Chances are he changing doesn’t look like it’s happening….you need to do what is best for you and the children,whatever will make you the best mom you can be,focus on what you believe is best for your children and plan your life on that.You know what they need and deep down you know what you need.
I’d tell my husband he needs therapy or I’m leaving. My husband is the sole worker and works extra and takes care of the kids when hes home. Its 2021. We ain’t playing this “womens work” bullshit. Being a parent is a full time job for both parents. Get on board or get out the way.
If his only support is financing you… In the bin.
Add to that his unsupportive nature with helping with the kids when he isn’t at work and the fact he doesn’t even change a nappy… IN THE BIN!
This is the price to be a parent. He is very selfish and don’t care about anyone but himself. However, is he was like this before the children or after the children were born?
Maybe he didn’t want any more children and now he feels like he needs to work extra to take care everyone. Unfortunately you depend on him financially, and that’s our own flaws. Never depends on anyone financially, I’m a plain example and I regretted. Best to move with your mom for now until you start get on your feet.
He sounds absolutely stressed out n overwhelmed. I’m sure it’s not easy to have kids out of state and then a special needs kid on top of a 1 year old at home. Teenagers deff don’t help. He shouldn’t be lashing out so bad but sometimes you just can’t help that. Try and see things from his side and not just yours. It makes a big difference
You said it…leave!!!
Run girl run!! Get your children and get away from him!
Coming from someone who had a similar situation… that is controlling and narcissistic behavior and you should leave before it gets worse and before your kids are old enough to see how horrible he treats you. I left with a baby from a situation like that. I ended up finding a man 3 years later who is everything a partner and father should be and I will never look back. Sure there will come custody battles and coparenting drama, but really that’s nothing compared to staying trapped there. Things won’t change or get better unfortunately. Been there, tried that. But when you are actually with a man who treats you as an equal, you realize you do not have to waste your life and mental health suffering in that kind of situation.
I feel like I wrote this myself with my kids dad. You are worth so much more then being treated like this. If he doesn’t want to act like a partner or father then please don’t accept this. It’s a waste of all your happy years to come. I speak from experience and wasted years
You can leave him, send him the child support bill, get some general assistance during the period your not with him, kick him out and be happy. It takes hard work such as doing the hardest thing in the world, walking away from pain you’ve allowed yourself to get use to. Or you can stay, be unhappy, risk loosing your kids because you have no job and he does. These are wake up calls for you. Which direction do you choose? Id choose my happiness with my kids over garbage anytime. The moment these type of people know they will have no hime, no family, work to pay child support or risk jail time, they start to manipulate you.
He’s unhappy. You’re unhappy. The kids are probably unhappy, with the fighting. Either counseling or divorce. He can pay child support and alimony and won’t need to deal with you. You will be free.
Wow what a complete utter ass get rid
Honestly, pretty much everything you just said is a red flag. HE IS GASLIGHTING YOU. Leave, just leave. Your already doing everything yourself except the financial bit. You don’t need him and it doesn’t sound like he even wants you or the kids.
Time to move on. He’s not a caring father at this point and unless he get therapy will never be as children age. You’re strong you can handle this and provide for your children. Get a good lawyer
Do what your gut tells you ma’am
Was he like this with his other children? Because it sounds like he wants zero parental responsibility. Between that and the gaslighting and financial abuse I’d definitely recommend leaving.
If you feel like you should leave then do it.
This was my life 14 years ago. I left, and it was a rough ride, but best thing I ever did. Take care of yourself and your children 
He is cheating on you… I guarantee it
This triggered me so much because this is exactly how I lived with my ex 
it’s draining. I hope things get better for you mama . I think it’s time for you to move on I know it’s going to be hard but it’s best for you and your babies you guys don’t deserve any of this .
Could he be struggling with postnatal depression? With a 1 year old and a baby with special needs maybe he’s struggling and/or grieving… Can you ask one of his mates to have a chat and check in with him?
You’re already doing it alone. Imagine doing it without him in the picture at all. Everything will just flow 
Hi momma of two, I have two kids and know the type of train wreck life is have 2 littles (25 months apart for me, so not near as close), and I know these sites are a good sounding board, but do what you feel is best for you, but most important, the most safe route for your children. The safe route for your kids might seem long, and painful, definitely scary walking alone holding your babies hands in your own, but you’re a mama bear!! It sounds like you have a good mama bear of your own to help protect you and guide you and your littles if you need it. Her opinion will be biased too, because she loves you. My only recommendation is to follow what you really feel is best, and what will give those kids their best chance of fulfilling a life far beyond your wildest dreams! Congratulations on your two special babies I hope you find peace and love, because you deserve it, too
These ladies are 
correct… You need to go with your gut on this one. We have been over this scenario 
no one wins if everyone is unhappy.
Sooo He’s controlling and abusive and gaslights you. And also isn’t a fucking parent got it. Leave, file for what you need to and be free of his shit. He doesn’t love, he doesn’t love these children …. Stop sleeping with him so he doesn’t knock you up again bc that’s in the playbook for dudes like him. Don’t teach your children this how a relationship should be by staying with him. Show them that you respect and love you’re self enough to demand better for yourself and them.
If you feel within yourself that you should leave, then listen and leave. He’s mentally and emotionally, as well as financially abusing you. You shouldn’t have to ask to get the things your kids needs. Hes still a father, not just a worker to provide money for the family. He can still help around the house and with his kids. Leave and don’t look back. He doesn’t deserve a hard working stay at home mom like you. He doesn’t appreciate what you do for him.
Leave and don’t look back.
He’s a narcissist - leave now, it’ll only get worse xx
Is there any way you can take a few days, maybe a week or 2 and go stay with your mom, just to give yourself a break from him and his awful behavior? I’m sure she’d love and be delighted for the time with her grandchildren and her daughter. You should at least try to get away for a few days if for no other reason than to get a little extra help and a mental and physical break from him and his toxic behavior. And I would use that time to clear my head and try to get my thoughts together on what my next move should or would be.
I’m hoping that maybe he’s acting this way because he’s overworked and stressed out, but honestly that’s still no excuse for the things he’s said and done to you and the kids, nor does it excuse or allow him a free pass from also having to participate in and being a parent to his own children and helping to care for and spend time with them too. But you deserve a break too, and you shouldn’t have to be begging for money for things you and the kids need. Honestly I see some pretty bad red flag behavior going on here, and personally I feel you should cut your losses and get away from him permanently if he’s not going to straighten up and treat you and the kids the way you should be treated. Calling his own kid a “brat” for what exactly? All kids are “brats” but they’re still our kids and it’s just a normal part of them learning boundaries. But the gaslighting and calling you crazy, and you having to beg for money to buy necessities is extremely problematic. At best it’s all due to him being overworked, tired, and stressed out, but there’s also a lot of red flags of abuse going on that makes me feel it’s worse than just burn out. That said, perhaps you can try to find some time to sit down and have a good heart to heart about this stuff and try to create a healthier relationship by communicating both of your needs, compromising, etc., but if that can’t be done or he won’t even try, then maybe it’s time for you to explore other options. Either way, you can’t continue on like this, because fact is, what you allow is what will continue, and kids learn by example, and what’s happening is certainly not healthy for you nor the children. Might be time to leave him… maybe not. But it’s time to start considering other options too. Personally I think you should leave and be done, and put him on child support while you look for a job and get some assistance with childcare and whatever else to help you out some, because you’re pretty much doing it all by yourself anyways. Seems to me the only thing you’d be losing is an abusive jerk who doesn’t really appreciate you. I think you and the kids would certainly be happier too.
Your not crazy girl… You shall be happier without him
I think you already answered your question! If you feel like your a single.mum then you no you can do this. He dost seem to help anyway. Good luck
Leave! This is emotional abuse! Verbal abuse! Traumatizing for your kids! Absolutely leave!
I don’t know where your located but feel free to PM me if you need help!!!
Being a provider is only part of the fathers job. Sounds like hell on earth.
I have done 5 on my own… Thats tough but doable… Why is it a question? Ur heart already knows … So Step up n do ur job… 
sometimes men do when its not the moms… It is what it is
Mama, you are already a single mom. It is time to file for custody of your kids and leave. If all he does is be hostile you and babies are better off without him.
Oh my lord, please don’t settle for this at all…leave, leave, leave 
he is a pos.
Leave. He is mentally abusing you. U can do it alone. It will be hard.
You’re not crazy. And I’m sure his behavior adds to your anxiety and depression. What he’s doing is not ok, this behavior is a form of abuse, you do not deserve it neither o you have to tolerate it, and he should not be speaking to you in that manner in front of your children. If he can’t be reasoned with and doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong, You already know what you need to do.
Now you know why the other woman left. He’s abusive.
I know it will be hard but both of you are stressed in different ways. If you truly love each other you can find a medium way to work it out. If not it is time to move on for the kids sack.
For that I would leave! He’s controlling u, its bullying, it’s abuse! And if has never been involved with the kids to help u out, he’s not a proper dad to them, I would leave him, especially calling his own child a brat! Don’t know how women put up with men like that, sorry but if that was me I’d be kicking him out! He’s lazy to even help u out, he thinks of himself, he’s selfish, things will never change if u stay with him, u could find someone so much better and who will help u out with the kids!
What he is doing is emotional abuse. If you can look for jobs to work from home, like call centre or baking, for example.
He is probably doing that to control you and get your under is pin. The best thing for you is to get out of that relationship.
He should spend one week with the kids to understand what it is to be a full-time mother.
No one deserves to be treated like that, especially you being the mother of his kids.
Leave. This is abuse. Praying for you, Mama. You’re already doing it all by yourself. You don’t need him around to bring you down and try to make you a villain in front of your children.
Girl???..what are you doing wasting time posting online. Get yourself a plan. Get some money secretly together. Get your kids. Get your stuff (if you can). And get the fuck out of there. He can get someone else to put up with his bullshit. You’re already a single mom. There are programs out there to help get you on your feet. If you don’t already belong to a church, join one. You can use God’s help on this journey, and you’ll also meet good people who can help you. I had a friend who left a bad relationship. At Sunday service her preacher asked that if anyone there had any HomeGoods they could donate to her it would be appreciated. Within two days her previously empty apartment was completely furnished. Your kids need you to leave. Go restart your life with your kids. Get a restraining order. File for child support. Say prayers. Move forward with no regrets and never look back!
First of all let me say this YOU SOUND LIKE A GREAT MOTHER!!!
But what he is showing is a form of abuse, withholding money from you… Gaslighting you… Narcissist love to get in your head and make you feel self doubt.
Also being a stay at home mother is a non stop job with no days off… The hardest job there is.
I wouldn’t have had kids with him after finding out he has 2 other baby mamas. Leave and file child support ASAP!
Leave!!! Red flags all Around. This is an abusive relationship. It will only get worse from here. Been there. Hugs momma.
He’s not only abusing you, he’s abusing and neglecting the kids. I would call a domestic abuse hotline and see if their is family or friends you could stay with. After this id apply for benefits in your state and look for childcare/ jobs. A lot of states have child care subsidy’s or will pay a relative to care for a special needs child. Do your research their are options. The victims advocate might also be able to link you with a social worker or someone who can help with this and write a letter on your behalf to help you get the services you and your kids need. Also this isn’t a hand it so don’t ever think that. You genuinely need the help and services to get back on your feet and thats what they are their for. Leaving isnt easy especially with kids however can you continue to live like this, can the kids??
Divorce him.
He sounds like a narcissist who’s gaslighting you at every chance he gets.
I have a few concerns. I have a special needs daughter. She is 27. From the moment it became obvious that she was special I have cared for her without her father. He has never been involved and doesn’t see her.
The fact that your husband in no way tries to bond with that precious little is concerning and inexcusable. Who cares how much he works. That has nothing to do with loving your own child. I was a single mom for years. I worked four jobs and still MADE time to love and play and bond with my kids.
Your son is so young and your husband’s treatment of him will cause emotional trauma.
The more he ignores and mistreats him the more your son will act out. Children that age want love and attention and they do anything good or not so good to get it.
Your husband is emotionally abusing you also. Abuse us abuse no matter which way it come. Emotional and financial abuse is abuse.
Maybe this is why he has exes with kids. Maybe you should reach out to them and ask some questions.
I’ll leave … he is going to cause you to have a mental breakdown
Sounds like he is mentally abusive and doesn’t want kids at this point you need to leave
This is gaslighting and financial abuse. Being a SAHM means you work at home. Maids are expensive, chefs are expensive, chauffers and nannys and personal assistants… all expensive. YOU do all those things. Know you’re worth honey. Make a plan, get out with your babies.
You need to leave to protect yourself and your children. He sounds like he’s burnt out and resentful that he’s the only one working. He needs help too. I don’t think he’ll change in the long run. Men like this think they’re king for only working and feel it’s beneath them to do any parenting. I highly doubt it will change. Counseling may help, whether you stay together or not, you’ll still have to co-parent. Counseling can help with communicating.
Yep leave. Narcissist. Run. Probably not “working” extra hours either. When was the last time you saw a pay stub? They get mean and blame you for things when they are doing something wrong. I wouldn’t put up with that treatment.
Maybe it’s time for a divorce cause all the red flags are right in front of you, we just tend to keep the relationship going cause we have kids from these man! No u deserve better.
I hate to say leave because that’s what everyone jumps to, but if he treats you like that it isn’t good for you or your babies. Y’all don’t deserve that and I would tell him so. I’d tell him I’m not gonna argue but if he doesn’t quit acting like that then he can go grocery shopping and appointments and all that by himself if he’s so worried about it and then we will see who the bad parent is. Him working hard is no excuse. My fiancé is a truck driver and we see him once a month if that for 2 days. If he ever treated me like that we would have some big issues and he knows it.
I would cut. He is gaslighting you. He doesn’t want all those kids and responsibilities.
I only got to the point where he is upset about having to help.
You staying home has enabled him to work more and shirk family responsibility. Sounds like he may also need some counseling dealing with a special needs child.
This IS abusive behavior and you are headed along a dark path.
If I was in this situation, I’d demand counseling or he can leave.
Leave… sounds like ur doing it all alone anyway
Yeah, you clearly can do it without him. He doesn’t even sound like there are moments when you are hopeful. Not a way to live.
Maybe that’s his way of communicating and you’re not taking the time to really listen. All you hear is the nagging just like I’m sure he doesn’t listen neither so y’all can’t communicate. What I’m getting from your situation is your husband is extremely frustrated and would like you to pick up some slack. Meaning go get a job and find a good daycare to place your children. Good daycare do exist. He’s probably drowning and all you care about is yourself and the kids. This to me is the number one thing I see make families fall apart. I understand you have a special needs child but that’s not an excuse and honestly with fairness when he needs help at work does he call you for help or does he figure it out? You want to be a stay at home mom then it is your JOB to figure it out. If I had the luxury of staying home my husband would NEVER have to come home to do ANYTHING because that’s my job. Take care of home and the kids. Stop complaining and APPRECIATE that your husband goes to work EVERYDAY to bust his ass to give YOU the luxury to stay home.
Leave. He’s mentally avoiding you and shows signs of controlling. I told my ex I feel like a single mom I minus well be a single mom. U need to do what’s best for u and ur kids. I’m know with a great man he works and I stay home due to my illness. I don’t need to ask him what I can spend money on if I need extra cash he just asks if I need money. He knows I can’t work and doesn’t throw it in my face ever
See if he would be willing to go to counseling. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. That is not love!
It’s definitely time to go. Not only for you but your kids.
He should of thought of all the responsibilities before going to bed with you…its not just your child…it takes two…you would be better off getting ur own apt.snd him paying you child support…
I for one would absolutely not live a life like that for me or the kids…I think you know what you need to do.
Could he be suffering from depression?? How he is towards you is unacceptable but it could be the reason. I had really bad ppd and was terrible to my husband during that time and didn’t bond for almost 6 months with our youngest. Men go through similar things as well. I would talk to him when things are some what calm and also suggest counseling. Having a toddler and newborn are very stressful. Adjusting to a new dynamic in the household can be stressful. He may also be struggling with the fact that his child is special needs, that’s not something as parents we plan for and can be very hard to handle the emotions that come with it. I’m not saying accept how he treats you because you shouldn’t, I’m just trying to look at it a different way. Everyone’s mental health matters and it seems to me he’s struggling with his as well, just differently. If he refuses to get help or recognize what’s going on then it may be time to just leave. Hugs and good vibes.