( His a man’s …man. ) Your son …who is his step son…makes him look good to the other men and couches up on the field of play…where as the other two children…he sees as another man’s seed…These children are not on the field of play where (HE) can look like a star…the child on the baseball field is giving him something he needs…a pat on the back from the other men…his eating it up…and sadly taking credit for your son’s secess…he feels the other two have nothing to offer him as a way of his own EGO. So he has no use for them…if your son stopped playing ball… tomorrow…your husband would be devastated… because his receiving the praise for how well his stepson plays…and his the couch…
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Your home is broken if he is not equally involved emotionally to all of the children.
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What you allow will continue. What continues will escalate! Your husband is NOT going to change!!!He may be a great dad to his own kids, but he is not even a good dad to your kids. Please put your kids FIRST! Read your own post as if a friend wrote it. What advice would you give your friend?!?
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He needs to Grow up!!!
Sadly noone has the perfect answer but I do know that I could never be with a man that favoured one child and ignored the other 5 especially is he is far from nice to you too. Yes leaving him would mean your youngest would be in a broken home but staying means your child has to witness that favouring one child is 100% acceptable to you and that being treated poorly is also acceptable. Look at it another way if in 20 years your daughter come to you and described your situation (yet it was HER that was in the situation not you) what would you tell her? Stay and let all the kids be unhappy and see that their one sibling is favoured by the dad and how he is mean to you or leave and build a happier life for the 4 of you (you and your 3 kids). Only you can decide how much you and your kids are worth. Good luck x
If a man didn’t treat my kids or me right I wouldn’t be on here making this post. I would of been gone along time ago.
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How can you say he is a good dad? I am not a huge fan of getting married with all these kids from different people. However he is not a good dad. A good dad does not treat kids like that
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You need to put your kids first. He makes them so miserable to the point they don’t even want to be around you. And you said he isn’t even great towards you. You’ve brought it to his attention plenty of times and he still doesn’t change. Don’t lose your kids over a man that doesn’t even care about your kids.
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I’m sorry but you are already in a broken home. You have to look at it thru that perspective.
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You’re kids are seeing things you don’t.
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Sorry to say but it’s normal if they are not his kids. No man will step up.
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Hes hurting your children emotionally yet you stay?
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I hate that you’re in a situation like this but you have to consider your six year old may grow up and if she is not interested in sports he likely will not pay little attention to her either at some point. It is very hard to bring two families together and it does not sound like this is happening in a successful way. I don’t have the answers but I think you do.
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Im confused when you say he is not abusive but is intimidating? That’s contradictory. I cannot understand why any woman would allow her children to grow up in a situation like this… it will teach them nothing but dysfunction that they will continue on subconsciously in their own households down the road. How could you put a man before the well being of your children or yourself for that matter? That is considered child endangerment by the law
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Id leave and focus on the realtionship with your kids, it should be a happy environment for you all and one your kids want to be around
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Well you have two choices in my opinion leave and have your own home in a better environment for you and yours kids or stay and stop forcing your kids to be subjected to your husbands cold nature let them stay at their dads in a loving home and do your visitation outside of the home away from your husband. Unfortunately either option will result in hurting one or more of the child but it’s really your only options cause your husband clearly is not gonna change.
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So basically you’re treating your 6 year old better that your other kids by staying with a guy who doesn’t treat them well just so she won’t have a broken home? I’m not trying to be mean but I hoped phrasing it like that would help you see. I went through this. After years of begging my husband to do right by all the kids, I realized if he was the man I thought he was I never would’ve had to ask at all. Your kids deserve better and it’s on you to give it to them
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Let your children go their father. It serms like there is more love care and attention there.
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A “broken” home is better than emotionally scarred children.
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I’m more confused at the fact you’ve stayed with him after your kids making it a point to say the really don’t like him and get upset over it…that would b enough for me to leave.
#MyKidsFeelingsWillAlwaysComeFirst!!!
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You need to put your children first. You’re hurting them by allowing your husband to treat them differently.
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You can’t force someone to love children that aren’t theirs. I have a hard time believe that he wasn’t like that your entire relationship. I think it’s hitting you now because your kids are old enough to finally voice their opinions. I think you already know your options. Either let your kids live with their dad where they are happier or you must leave your husband. Your children matter and so do their feelings. If you truly want to work through it…. Make everyone go to family therapy if he refuses leave.
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It really bothers me when people stay in shitty relationships for their kids. If you’re not happy, your kids ain’t happy. A broken family is better than an unhappy one. Just saying.
Mental and emotional abuse is still abuse. It’s obvious he won’t change. You need to do what’s best for your kids, which is leave. A “broken” home is better than an abusive one.
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If you stay you will eventually lose your older children to estrangement
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You should be striving for a happy home, everything else is irrelevant imo
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As a couples counselor I agree with 95% of what is said. The one thing to add to you leaving is set yourself up with a counselor. That way you have a support person that can help you make the right decisions for yourself and children.
Because it doesn’t sound like you are enjoying your married life or the life of step mother or children of shared parenting you need to make a change for the better.
The saying is since you can’t change someone else change your reaction to the situation.
You need and deserve support for that change.
I wish you and the children the best. (Your children will appreciate your decision to make their life easier and more pleasant also).
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If all kids aren’t treated fairly and equal, what’s the point, especially when he isn’t treating you right either. Not worth putting up qith especially of its been going on for so long.
You are only going to hurt your children! And don’t make excuses on why you are with him.
Ummm, you chose your children over a man. No matter what age they are. You put them 1st.
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The only good things you’ve mentioned, is that he’s a good dad to his son, and he isn’t abusive “or anything”. You’ve set the bar so, so very low. Those things should be expected, not celebrated. I personally could never be with a man that did not love my children. We have 4, the older 2 are from my previous marriage. My husband treats them as his own. I would not have it any other way. You can’t change your husband, you’ve tried. Either, be ok with it and don’t expect more, or get out and live your best life, for you and your kids.
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Put your kids first always a happy home is a healthy home💜
Sadly, it is never going to change 
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Never put a man before your kids. I would have dumped him the minute my kids started having issues with him. I’m surprised your kids haven’t moved in with their dad full time.
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This is how it is in combined families some couples date each other but will not live with each other because of this confusion with the kids it’s just to hard to make everyone happy this causes to many divorces there is no answer I don’t think your husband wants to not please you he just
He just loves baseball and the son does too
Why did you marry someone that doesn’t get along with your children… your kids come before anything ! They come before you !
It sounds like your husband is abusive and controlling. That’s probably how he got full custody of his children, and why you don’t mention their mom. And it’s likely also why he’s hyperfocused on his “favorite son.”
Idk that there’s really any solution to be found here. All I can say is stand by your children. Value their feelings and be their voice… or you will lose them. Emotionally and physically speaking, as soon as they turn 18.
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So sad. He’s not only hurting you, he’s hurting the whole family. At this rate all of the kids who can WILL leave you because of this. Are you ready ??
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PUT YOUR CHILDREN FIRST ALWAYS! your children to a previous marriage have been complaining about his behaviour for years but yet you’re still in the same predicament. Please stand on your own 2 feet for your own sake most importantly for your children.
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A broken home or a happy home…
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Why the F are you with this man? He’s nasty to you, your kids and life is not enjoyable with him, so why are you staying? You think it’s fair to your kids to have them live like this with this moron? Get out of there for Gods sake, you know in your gut this is wrong on so many levels, so leave, like nowl.
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This is just sad. Leave him
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From reading your post it seems that you hold some resentment against your husband for not doing what all fathers should do. You cannot change a person, you would of seen red flags in the beginning and have chosen to ignore them or even if you’ve spoken up it’s fallen on deaf ears and you’ve allowed it too. Some people are just not suited to one another and I think the real reason you haven’t left is due to the risk of losing your child you both share together. Try living separately and see how things go, I can guarantee you’ll love it and not want to go back to him and you will make your children so happy. Your 6 year old is watching everything around her and she can see that your other children are unhappy. Your children will benefit knowing you have put them before any man. If you don’t then be prepared to lose them when they are older also. They see everything, be the right example for them. Show them that they deserve to be treated exactly the same as anyone else in the home. Like your other children’s father and step mother are doing.
Your husband will not change.
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A toxic home is a broken home.
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I believe you know the answer, you just need support of others. Leave, for your children’s sake as well as your own…
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I’d point it out to him and give him a chance to correct his behavior if not I’d leave
Leaving her in a situation Like that can be a broken home as well. Do what’s beat for you and your kids
Your home is already broken my dear. It is you husband and your stepson and then the rest of y’all. Before your kids completely resent you, get out.
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Abuse isn’t just about being physically assaulted it’s emotional abuse as well. Which sounds like what you’re experiencing.
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A happy home every time
Give family therapy a try? Maybe the perspective of an outsider who has the proper knowledge of better ways to make changes could help.
The thing about therapy though is everyone has to be honest, bring the all in energy to the table. If that can happen I see it as a good thing, or atleast worth trying. You’ll teach your family how to solve problems through it too.
If you do it and it’s not successful then also teach them the problem solving process and how in reality issues arent always going to be something in there favor. Not everyone is for you, and understanding this early will no doubtedly be in there favor later in life.
The competition games are toxic on kids, it’s a lifetime of confusion.
Good thing they have you and you can keep working on your bond with them.
If he doesn’t treat you the best , then it’s abusive … just because it’s not physical , doesn’t mean it’s not abuse … take whatever kids are still at home with you and leave him … if you stay , you are only showing yourself and your kids that it’s ok to be treated badly!
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All of yall saying “put your kids first” dont realize that she is. She literally already is, so just stop. Not once did she say “I wanna stay because I love him blah blah” she said because THEY have a kid together and she doesnt want to cause her CHILD to have a broken home, affecting her kid. However, she is also conflicted because her other two kids dont get along with him and are having a hard time being there.
She’s putting them all first by seeking advice on what’s the best thing to do for her KIDS before making a rash decision. So stop telling her that her “kids come first” because clearly, she ALREADY KNOWS THAT. 
To op, you will not be giving her a broken home. It is already broken. The kids can feel the pain they are going through and the pain you are going through because of this man. They will not blame you for leaving. A split home is better than an unhappy one. They will be happy. Loved. Want to be at your house. They will also feel appreciated and cared about. It wont be your fault, it will be your husbands. Maybe that will be his wake up call, but if not, yall deserve better anyway. This is emotional abuse and neglect he is putting you and all 3 of your kids through. Your kids are not Cinderella, but he has taken on the roll of “the ugly stepmom”. Maybe this will be his reality check to change and put all of your kids (and his) on the same loving, caring field as his son that he favors. And if not, yall will thrive without him.
If you dont want to leave yet, sit him down one final time, and be 100% as honest as this post. Completely blunt and brutally honest about yours and the kids feelings. Let him know that he has a month to correct it, and if nothing’s changed in a month, yall will be gone. If nothing changes, leave. If it does, thats great. But, do not settle “for the kids”, because I 1000% promise you that the kids would rather have a happy home, and a happy mom, than what he is giving them. Keep your crown up queen. You are doing great. Asking for advice and help is hard, but you are doing it, and that first step is amazing. You can message me anytime you need to girl, if you want. I wish you and the kids the best of luck and much love. 
Well the thing is whether you want the family broken up or not its already affecting the kids how will the daughter you share together feel when she sees this she will think its ok to to be cold to them too by watching him its sad honestly he won’t put the effort I would give an ultimatum that he get counseling with you or split
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Baby the broken home is what your already in
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Your kids should always come first. If you aren’t willing to leave your husband for them, & therefore can’t give them a happy home, let them go live with their father full time
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I would rather have my children happy than worry about a broken home!!
He sounds mean…
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Your husband is nothing more than a face with an arse on the end who eats, wreaks havoc and shits! He is no man, role model, nor, dad if he can treat any child differently without any thought of their feelings of rejection, lack of love or attention. You say he is not abusive? I say, you are on the inside looking out and do not see it, but those on the outside looking in, see everything.
My opinion for what it is worth, kick his sorry ass to the kerb and focus your love and attention on those worth it - your kids. The negativity you are dealing with is very draining and sapping you of all feelings of adequacy - kick this waste of human excrement to the kerb.
I wish you well and feel for all of you <3.
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intimidating is abuse.
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This is just sad to my mom heart.
Leave him.
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What you do is choose your kids. At the end of the day your children didn’t choose this man, you did, they shouldn’t have to live feeling unwanted by him. It doesn’t sound like you’re happy with him either and life is too short. Your children are already damaged by this situation, I wouldn’t allow it to continue otherwise it will turn into long term resentment if it hasn’t already.
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No man is worth losing ur relationship with ur kids
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Put your kids first!
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Leave his ass. Plenty of men out there that will love all the kids equal
It’s better to come from a broken home than to live in a broken home.
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I’m sorry and I know allot of you probably won’t agree with me but the FIRST time my kids come to me and tell me they’re not comfortable with someone I’m with or dislike them for any reason THAT PERSON will be gone. I am my kids safe place I am supposed to provide for them and make sure they are happy and In a healthy home I will not let no man step in and treat my kids like shit or feel uncomfortable with him being around. My kids come FIRST not second third forth or last.
No child should have to just live with someone that treats them like shit I would never put my child in that position.
Chose your kiss always especially if they feel like they are being treated unfairly. They will forever remember that. I would leave and try to start over with your kids to have a happy household…I know it’s easier said then done 
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You said it all when you write “my husband doesn’t treat me the best”. If he is not treating the love of his life the best, why would you think it would be any different with anybody else?
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I’m remarried n have 3 kids. When I started dating him,I was very upfront.Told him I have 3 kids n they are my world. We are a package deal.Learn to Love all 3 or no marriage. Been married 32 years n, he has always loved them like his own. Loves the grandchildren. All grown now, n loves the great grandbabies.Gotta take time for him to know them before you jump into marriage.
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Why get married in the first place?
I think people forget what step parent means. Treat all equal. If he hasn’t changed he never will. Kids come first.
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Um I’m confused. They hate him but you are mad at him? You all talk behind his back?
Sounds like your home is broken. You would be doing more damage to your relationship with your kids by staying. When your husband chose to marry you, that included your kids not just you.
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if ur kids dont like a person TRUST THEM
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Re-read what you just wrote. When you are finished read it again and again. Your answer is in there. It’s time to separate from your husband.
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Not wanting to raise them in a broken home = already raising them in a broken home. Your husband sounds like an asshole. Personally I would never let any man get in between my relationship with my kids. You can play step mom all you want but at the end of the day your kids are your responsibility to protect and you only have the kids you are given. You can always find another man but you can’t replace your kids.
Choose your kids lady. How is this even a question when you see he treats the kids completely differently?
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It won’t get better. Been there. If I knew the consequences. I would have divorced him years earlier.
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Choose your kids over him. I don’t understand how this is even a question.
Anyone who chooses a man over their children is a POS and doesn’t deserve to have kids. 
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Children come first. You are allowing your children to be in a emotional abusive relationship with your husband. I’d leave!!!
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Why did you marry him?
Kids should always come first.
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Your kids need you to have their backs in this situation he needs to change or you need to remove your children from him. They don’t deserve that treatment.
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I don’t think I’d jump on the “leave him” train. I would suggest counseling for you and him, as well as your children who are feeling rejected by him. He may not know what they are needing in terms of affection and support. What are exact “assignments” he could try? Sounds like he isn’t close to the 6yo either? I bet he connects with the one child over baseball, because it’s what he knows. He likely tries with the others but doesn’t know how to build a real bond. Although that’s very sad and disappointing, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care for your other children. Or his.
I would also suggest you read or listen to ‘The 5 love languages’
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I’m gonna speak from experience here. I had a very abusive mother who remarried, she inflicted abuse upon me whilst my stepdad watched and did nothing. My stepdad then had 3 kids and he did EVERYTHING with them and ignored me (my bio father died before I was born)
I used to cry for hours and beg for ANYONE to spend time with me or give me attention or affection. I got neither! I later cut them all off because I realised they fit the criteria of being a toxic family.
If you love your kids, you need to seperate from your husband, move out and take the kids with you. Your kids will suffer further if you stay with him and allow him to inflict this behaviour upon them. TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE!!!
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It is more important to live in a heathy loving home and environment than it is to have both parents involved. 
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How is he a good role
Model? You keep excusing his poor behaviour. Your children have told you for years about their exclusion and yet you haven’t left!
This is abuse! Your poor children!
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First of all it’s only natural he’d be more interactive with his bio-son who shares the same interested of which I’m sure he planted in him. This sounds like more than that though. Maybe there’s an emotional disconnect that you can’t quite describe? I’m going to tell you coming from an adult who was put second by my bio-parent for a SO. You are making them live a life that they don’t feel worthy, involved, or comfortable in. They will always resent you for it. First because you’re mom & mom is always at fault. Second because you are choosing him over your kids. Your children would be better off with you as a single mom than having an expectation of a father like figure being a father.
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The way you telling it it’s already a broken home
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He sounds like a d!ck to you and the kids. Seems like you already know what you need to do. SMH
Rather have a broken home then have my kids be treated like crap let alone myself and excluded while he praises 1 child and the rest suffer honestly leave him and walk away you deserve better
It’s very common for a parent to favor his own (biological) children. It’s not as common to have a parent treat his partner or significant other’s kids like their own, especially if they have their own biological children.