My husband wants to have a threesome. We’ve been together for almost six years total, married for almost eight months. We have two children together, one being a newborn. He’s been talking about it for a few days now, it’s a fantasy of his, but he wants to make it a reality. It started when a friend of his told him his wife was bisexual and asked to bring women home for them, and he would let her have side chicks when he was away for long periods of time for work. He tells me it’ll just be one time unless I liked it, tells me it could be with another man or woman, but he would prefer it if it was another woman. At first, it seemed awkward, then we talked about it more, and he told me I could pick the girl and that he would put most of his attention on me. A few days later, and I’m starting to overthink that maybe he wants to do this because he feels “too tied down,” that he just wants to be with another woman. I feel like it’ll take a toll on our marriage and that I won’t want to be as intimate with him cause I won’t feel I was enough to satisfy him alone, that I’ll always have the image of the threesome in the back of my mind and think he’s not enjoying sex between just the 2 of us. We’re only about to both be 22, and I feel like his single friends are making him feel like he hasn’t lived enough to be satisfied and completely ready to settle down. He’s the love of my life, father of my children, and the whole conversation has taken its own toll on my self-esteem. He’s told me it’s okay if I’m not comfortable and we don’t have to do it, that he’s fine with just me, but he still brings it up after saying that… I feel like now he’s going to feel differently without showing it. Like he’s going to go off and cheat on me to satisfy his own cravings. I asked him if it was fair that he only gets to have sex with me, and he says, “well, I mean I chose you, and I chose to marry you,” which doesn’t sound so reassuring…
I’d do it with another man.
yea I’d do it with another man and then leave his ass for wanting to experiment stupid shit
Don’t all men try that don’t fall for it
Yep anothrr man then watch him change his mind lol
Try both. There’s nothing wrong with a threesome in my opinion, if you overthink it youre gonna be insecure about it. If he just wanted another woman he could easily go off and sleep with one and cheat, if that was his intention. Everyond has fantasies and its one he wants to experience and share with you. Don’t think of all the negatives surrounding the idea. Keep it discreet, set boundaries, someone you dont know and only wants a one night thing.
Don’t do it. All of your instincts are right. In this life he’s almost guaranteed to cheat anyway and at least u won’t feel stupid knowing u tried for him and he still cheated. We have to do what’s best for us. All this stuff we do trying to keep a man will not work. Plus I all are way too young for him to remain a kept man. You might even wanna leave someday. All I’m saying is put you first
If you agree once, he will be wanting a threesome on the next, next, next, next and more “next” love making or sex (watever u call it ) so its safe to say NO and IT’S OKAY TO SAY NO .
In my experience, with my ex thr father of my kids. He wanted to experiment with a threesome, so I caved. I didn’t enjoy it. And in all honesty, it ruined the relationship because he was wanting more. He wanted to keep doing mmf, and I didn’t want to because in the end I just felt like a toy or object.
I feel like your feelings are 100% spot on. I’m sorry
There was one case in my country. Three some alright, afterwards, the husband lost his private part.
Mine tried this. Shut that shit down now! If he wanted to sleep with another woman he shouldn’t have decided to spend his life with you. Its okay to say no. And Tell him how you feel. He should understand and shut that down and reassure you. Listen to what he tells you and how he responds. Youll realize if his intentions were just curiosity due to his friends or his desire to sleep with another woman.
Have you thought about counseling? My husband tried at one point. ￼🤷🏼♀️ it’s hormones and age honestly but the 2 of you need to be COMPLETELY HONEST with each other. Yes you two chose to be together which means uncomfortable conversations, love, fights, irritation but ALL of those can be worked through.
Tbh me and my partner are quite open with this stuff… He chose another man for me it’s great fun and I’ve said well if a women comes along then only fair… I think personally if you bring in another man… Then see how he feels… If he’s cool with It then this is something he is into. Doesnt mean he loves you less it’s something to tick off your bucket list lol
I’d tell him to get lost, he knew that he’d be settling for just you when it comes to marriage, but you should be enough! Don’t worry about him not getting what he wants when you’re trying to keep him happy even as a possibility. Don’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with, if he goes elsewhere then you deserve better, also you might see him as the love of your life but does he feel the same way towards you?
Absolutely NO !!! Selfish thoughtless bastards .
I think I biggest question is why?
If you’re uncomfortable then don’t.
Say no and if he cheats it was not meant to be Never sell your self short for no man God has greater in store for you and He won’t need no one but God and you to sustain him
Say NO and prepare an exit plan…with the divorce
DONT DO IT!!! Just saying
Fuck nooo!!! Ewwww!!!
You do that type of shit BEFORE marriage. Not with the woman you married and have a family with, sounds like he isn’t ready to grow up.
He wants permission to cheat. Period.
Consider the unintended consequences. Condoms break. Pregnancy, STI’s, stalkers…
That is the reality. It is not just just about fun for a night if these things come up
Tell him you are interested in having one and you saw a man you want to have one with
Too early in the marriage, I did the 3some 20years into our marriage, there needs to be certainty, clarity, trust, it’s a 1 time thing. Which in my case it was… Fantasy over… lol invite a man, doubt he will follow thru.
The fact your man asks for a threesome lets me know you ain’t with a man that loves you. You’re not enough to satisfy him.so let him have his threesome and find a man that you’re enough for.
Stop this nasty ways of thinking. Your mind is so corrupt. Please pray to jehovah so he can guide u and u can make the rigbt decision. U should jave told your busband out blabk. I want a divorce. He is so w8cked and evil. U dony need to be with him. Honor yourself and your body.
Choose one of his friends, better looking than him or at least better built. See how he feel about it. Leave his ass anyway, you’re both just 22, still a whole long way to do shit to hurt u. He can be a good father, but no way as a husband.
Don’t let him talk you into something you don’t want to do.
Someone who truly loves you would never ask you to compromise yourself like that.
If this was me…i was going to find a man with a dick bigger than his… and give him his 3som…next i would find a lesbian, buy a strap on and give him a next 3som he will never forget…but that’s just me. I like to satisfy my man needs in my own devilish way
If you would like to talk to someone that was “the third person” for a few couples, I can give you some things to look for when searching for another women.
Msg me with any questions
I would be like ok u want a threesome…go get one of your homeboys or i find a sexy man…n see how he like that
Hun, I know this is the man you love sweetheart but you have to love yourself more then him right now and protect your mental health ! This will eat you up inside no matter what you decide to do by your husband asking you to do this at a time like this with just having a newborn baby isn’t right and I’m sure if it was a different time you’d tell him where to go ! If my friend came to me with this issue I’d tell her she needed to love and respect herself enough ; take a break from this relationship. Because you need the self respect, self love so others will respect you !
Been there done that…tge fantasy is better than the reality…and if your sharing…just waht makes you soecial and unigue to each other?if your giving yourself completely to others?
Nope, nope, nope! Let’s say you did agree to it and brought in another woman, he’s expecting you to be 100% okay with it. Now, you bring another man into the mix, you’d expect him to be 100% okay with it BUT what if after all is said and done and he decides he didn’t like the fact that another man was intimate with you…you’ll never hear the end of that!
Say no amd get the best attorney you can afford because hes gonna cheat no matter what.
Nope, nope, nope! Bad news…
Here’s my advice: DON’T DO IT!
This is asking for trouble!
If you don’t want to, no is a complete sentence. If you fear he will cheat, you’re not as married as you thought. He feels stuck. He can grow up or go but you aren’t a doormat.
He has lost his fucking mind put an end to this before it puts an end to your marriage if you even still want him after this but as soon as your mind is clear of his deceptive ways it’s time to lawyer up
I’d be like that this kind of fantasy works both ways and see how he reacts. He might not like that at all. Done deal… Some people can have sex without emotion being involved mostly men. Women are different. And if he has a brain he knows this too. So tell him your all in but you prefer to eat off both sides of the plate and see where it goes. Suggest full on swinging where everyone is involved. Lol
Don’t do it he will do it with u at first then behind your back I can see how that brings your self esteem down and it’s not worth it he wants his cake and eat it too cheating is all he wants and that’s not the way a marriage is supposed to be praying for you
If he keeps those friends…brace urself. Ur in for alot of pain. If you dont give in he will always compare his life to his friends that are doing those things. Its pretty much over.
Hell no! Marriage is a commitment between two people. No room for anyone else or you shouldn’t be married!
Whether its with your husband or not, sex should ALWAYS be consensual and all forms of the sex you’re having should always be consensual as well; in my opinion if you don’t want this and you’re only thinking about doing it because he wants it, that is not consent. That’s what us ladies have tried to justify as consent over time to make us feel better about doing things for our husbands because we think we “owe it to them” or “HAVE” to do it because we’re married (both of these things are false!!). You don’t want this and you don’t have to do it. This will kill your self confidence and security. Say no. Please say no. And if he can’t accept your no with respect and drop the issue, maybe he is not actually the love of your life and is just a step of the way to get to the love of your life. Good luck no matter what you choose or how this goes <3
I agree with majority of the advice here. Don’t do it because obviously you’re not comfortable to do it. Don’t do it because marriage is a sacred thing that must be consume by two persons only. Don’t do it because it will ruin your life and your marriage. Put yourself first and your children’s welfare.
Just DON’T DO IT! Terrible idea. Unless you went into the relationship knowing this was a possibility. Then NO! Just one woman’s opinion.
Well I hate to say it but a lot of men have this same fantasy however unless you are both ready mentally it will always turn out bad in one way or the other. Keep communicating about it unless you are absolutely sure it’s a no for you. I think he sees his friend and it works in their dynamic but it wont necessarily work in yours!
Tell him yes, then tell him you saw a real cute guy that you would love to have the 3 some with. When the tables are turned they want no part, and honestly he wants permission to cheat so you might think about couples counseling or divorce
Don’t do it is my advice
Why he wait till marriage to spring that on you why not before bringing a stranger to your bedroom is no respect at all for you or your marriage
Oh hell no!! Marriage is a commitment between 2 people to love one another ONLY. If he’s wanting to bring in a third party his marriage vows mean NOTHING to him. YOU deserve better.
So this happened to a family member of mine… His wife finally agreed picked the girl and then eventually left him for said girl . Taught his ass a good lesson!
If your going back and fourth about it… YOU DONT WANT TO DO IT. And not wanting to is OK.
Just tell him you thought about it and dont think its fair for him to disappoint two women at once!
Unfortunately I let a boyfriend do that to us. I was just left feeling like I couldn’t trust him. I felt dirty and my selfesteem took a big hit. I regret giving in. But I’m not with t hgv at guy anymore so lessons learned.
Marriage is between two people! Not a third! God designed marriage between A man and woman to satisfy each other only and to bring life into this world.
Don’t do it and don’t let him make you feel guilty. He does not deserve you.
Y’all give horrible advice and have very, very simple minds. Everyond has their opinion and nobody is telling you that you have to do anything YOU wouldn’t be okay with or doesnt interest YOU, but to tell this girl her man is automatically going to cheat on her regardless if she does or doesn’t agree, that she’ll never be enough for him, ect… Youre just putting shit in her head shes already worried about, because apparently theres no other possible outcome right? Wrong. That’s not advice, you’re just creating conflict and putting her down, doubting her marriage, and her husband and you dont even know anything about them and clearly have no experience about whats being asked its not wrong to openly express what excites you sexually, especially to your partner. EVERYONE has fantasies, whether youre brave enough to be open about them or not. That does not mean that everyone will act upon them, especially if conflict will be created.
Dont do it… you are enough period…and that should have been a question before marriage…anyhow don’t feel guilty about setting boundaries in your marriage its sacred you protect it, ask god to help you with this problem , because it can become one if he keeps asking and asking…
Omg people. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her because he wants a damn 3some. Maybe he’s just fully aware of his sexual identity. Doesn’t mean he’s going to cheat or want it again. Obviously you guys know nothing about men or adventurous in the sack. Every man has a fantasy of having a 3some. Nothing wrong with it or something to be made to feel ashamed about. I say do it if you feel comfortable and if you don’t then don’t do it. Though don’t be scared to try new things in the bedroom (doesn’t have to be that) but have some damn fun. This is the problem with society everyone has an opinion on other people’s business and are so ready to judge.
Why even be married? I don’t get it. Marriage is a life long commitment to be monogamous with each other. Sounds like he needs new friends and you may need a divorce.
Nope! Be done with him
6 years together, barely married, and wants threesome give 2 fucks if I was pregnant or had a gang of kids, bye mf’r . Yall didnt get married you just signed up for some BS sorry. A real one wouldn’t have you in no position like this to where this post even exist. The fact that its come to this point says alot. Dont fight your intuition and dont be one of those broads that sticks around for the kids either, that’s some BS. Real one would take care of those kids regardless of whatever tf to where you wouldn’t have to worry about stepping off and remembering your self worth and value. Cant build a foundation off a BS, and this shit stinks. You gon regret the threesome, and even if u dont do it, in due time you’ll be regretting this marriage cuz he lettin you know now what’s up in his head and it dont sound like marriage and family life. Sounds like a selfish mf’r who settled for marriage because you got them kids, loves you but ain’t done with “his life” yet. But knows you’ll be there cuz of the kids and you love him
Stack ya $$ and push, let a king or an emperor find you. let the boys be boys Good luck
No. It will destroy you.
That is a disaster waiting to happen, especially if you do something that you don’t really want to do just to please him. Unless it’s something you really want and can say that you won’t regret it, it will probably cause resentment and stir up jealousy and insecurities within yourself- just my opinion. Do what is right for YOU. Good luck
Please take it from someone who has been there several times in several relationships. Dont do it girl it will never go away & just lead to resentment, jealousy and insecurities on both of y’all’s parts for yrs to come! It always does & usually the guy winds up cheating or doing shady sh!t like watching porn & talking to women sexually online to feed the fantasies further. It’s a real way to destroy a loving relationship. Not to mention the STDs out there nowdays. Alot that don’t carry any signs such as herpes. That’s for life & undetectable if they’re not having an outbreak & I think 1 in 4 ppl nowdays has it last I read. Condoms do NOT protect against STDs such as herpes either. Please don’t do it unless your just hell bent on doing it because like many other ppl here have said it’s not even what he is going to think it is & yes you are going to not be into it & have alot of bad feels especially after. Spare yourself that . Been w/my husband for 12+ yrs we have been through it all & that crap still gets brought up 10 yrs later. It’s just poison in any relationship please trust me on this & DON’T DO THIS
RUN LIKE THE WIND ! no !
It won’t be just once
Don’t do it. He will wind up having an affair with third person, then say he “didn’t plan on it happening”. Then he will say " it’s your fault, you brought her in" this is the way most breakups and divorces over this matter go. This is most likely his plan.
I have done this with my ex husband. I am bisexual so I always liked women anyways. Before anything make sure yous are good first no problems yous are in a good place. Yous need to talk about every single thing you can think of. What could happen and are yous both comfortable if not then do not do it it will ruin your relationship. Do you want other men if you do then he has to be ok with that if your ok with another women. Yous have to set up rules that need to be followed by all. When you find someone yous agree to be with make sure they are ok with your rules first. Long as yous are open, honest and talk about everything it will be ok. After if your not comfortable with what happened you have to tell him but you cant be mad cuz you agreed to it. I have my own experience so I know alot I have been uncomfortable a few times at first but then it was alot of fun. plus I worked in a swingers club and have seen all types of things that can happen good and bad. Feel free to private message me if you need some more advice. Oh I know alot of people say marriage is between 2 people and it is but when those 2 people truly love and trust eachother, Are sexually open with eachother adding another person can be an amazing experience. Its 2019 the world is different now
Y’all didnt agree to this prior to marriage then I’d say no.
If you do decide then you may want to discuss a couple vs a single person. Otherwise id say pick a man for 1st time, bet it ends there!
It will change your relationship forever. Make sure you both are ready. If he insists. Leave. Pressuring anyone into Sex is a red flag.
Like my better half said…“its not a good idea.” Because someone will feel some type of way about it. Good luck!!
You’re right when you think intuitively. Yes he does want to be with other women by the sounds of things. My advice to you is to sit down and have a very serious conversation with him and how you feel. This is not fair to you at all! If he wants to go out of this relationship with you then he’s thought about it. This would be very toxic to you.
Damned if you do, damned if ya dont. Threesomes are best as a fantasy honestly. Ive had plenty and most men dont satistfy both women. They’re messy and usually lead to more complexity then fun. If you’re not % in then dont do it at all. Tell him to drop it. Honestly, if you worry he’ll cheat because you say no then theres work that needs to be done om your relationship before a threesome anyway. Its not for everyone and dont ever feel the need to do it judt4to please your man.
They all prefer it to be with another woman.promise you the moon and stars if you do it.your turn will never come .this is just a cheesey way to get inside another woman .he’s a pig DO NOT DO IT.been there done that so not worth it
I’m still on the part were he say it could be with a man you might need to question that part
There’s a difference between fantasy or the reality. This isn’t something I’d advise anyone to do just to please your husband . This is a sure way to end your marriage. When you truly love someone you don’t ask them to do this as you don’t want to share that person with anyone.
Ask him how he’d feel watching you with another man, if he’s not bothered then he doesn’t love you sweetheart. Don’t demean yourself to please someone who is being selfish. You have just had a baby which makes you feel more vulnerable than usual. ￼Every person I know that has tried this have split up afterwards. You can never forgive or forget a betrayal and that’s what this would be.
Perhaps, he should have got this out of his system before he decided to get married. Sounds like you are not receptive to his fantasy, so I would not give in. You may regret it.
In all honesty I’d say that if you are not 100% into it and have anxiety and doubts about it then definitely do not do it. It will only mean bad things for your relationship. If your husband loves and respects you, he wont force you into a situation that you don’t want to be in. I will also say that if it is so important to him that he has it in his life then perhaps the two of you aren’t meant to be. It needs to be mutual. Honestly.
Don’t do it. It’s going to destroy your marriage.
Do not do it. Do not let him talk you or bager you into it.
This is a common fantasy with men…and tbh some women too. Not everyone is comfortable doing it. If u choose to do it there needs to b rules and open communication. Either of u should b able to put the brakes on it at any time, even if its in the middle of it. If u dont wanna do it then don’t do it. But b clear with him what u r thinking. Any relationship needs that open communication to last. Not just with this but everything else as well
No , dont do it if u not 100%ok and want to do it to x
Be careful of opening Pandora’s Box!
DO NOT DO IT? A majority of outcomes are NOT positive!
If I don’t please him he need to move on
You are his wife & the mother of beautiful children!! Here’s an idea= do not do it. First get a good Christian therapist. 2. Start stowing away Money secretly in a safe deposit box, & get a lil part time job, 3. consult a lawyer secretly & leave his sorry ass. This is a form of manipulative abuse called triangulation btw, very common with narcissists/sociopaths, psychopaths. This man is not your friend, no matter what “act” he puts on. This is essentially the beginning of the end of the marriage. I’m sorry this is happening to you but better now than later. Remember, you are not alone & keep quiet about your plans.
Dont do it!! It will.only feed his sick addiction. If he wants another woman then divorce seems like a great option.
Your husband is sexual freak and once you feed the need for a 3 some you will open a can of worms, your entire marriage will became uncomfortable. 2nd his married he needs friends who are married cause single friends will mislead him
The problem sounds like he didn’t get his “hoe phase” out the way before he got married. Now he wants to experiment and pressure you. Don’t do it. It will only cause more problems. It will not only be one time. He will pressure you to do it again. My best friend has just ended her 20yr marriage because they chose to do this about 5yrs in and both kept cheating on each other throughout the yrs. I have two coworkers who also did this and ended in divorce later. If he’s gonna cheat a threesome is not gonna stop him. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with doing. It probably won’t have good consequences after the fact.
Please don’t…it will never be the same between you afterwards x
Girl no way.
If he loves you then he should
Not ask you such a thing.
You two got to be comfortable and open and communicate. You are already having self esteem issues and plus you just had a baby I would not do it right now.You have to be open minded and fully trust your partner. Its something you both got to agree on. It’s fun when you are ready or if you like that fun stuff.
Sounds like you need a new husband
Been there, done that. If you are not comfortable with it, DO NOT GO THROUGH WITH IT FOR HIM. Chances are it’s just a fantasy or curiosity. We all have them.
First let me say everyone is different. Just bc someone is bisexual doesn’t mean they’re down to have a threesome with their significant other. I’ve lived a life BEFORE I met my current husband. I’m 35 my husband is 30. I’ve had a threesome before (lots of fun) my husband hasn’t. I am bisexual (women are beautiful creatures that DESERVE to be cherished and appreciated). With all that being said, my husband has told me that he’s never had a threesome and would’ve liked to experience it. Of course I thought about it but it didn’t take long for me to realize I would be super jealous and it would probably kill me on the inside thinking EXACTLY everything you’ve said… From the “not being enough to satisfy” to putting myself down. So, I explained this to him. That is my final answer and if (God willing) we’re still together later, maybe it could happen… Who knows But my answer was explaining all my feelings about it and talking to him. He accepted and moved on. Basically, if he was going to step outside our marriage bc I wouldn’t have a threesome, that’s on him and his Conscience. Yeah, I would be devastated but I’m a great wife, mother and lover… I know how loyal I am, trust when I say that’s very hard to find. I know what I bring to the table (doesn’t always have to be money) and I know how to get down on his . I’ve also known people that swing and bc both the wife and hubs are into that, it works for them. So… My advice to you is if he can’t respect how you feel about being intimate with another person, if he’s trying to manipulate you and make you feel bad, you might want to start saving money on the side bc that’s not ok￼￼. Just bc his friend does it doesn’t mean you have to. As long as that friend is around, he will probably bring it up… We are the company we keep. Men have been living without threesomes forever… It is not a requirement. I hope he respects YOUR decision.
Do wants in your truly
Don’t open Pandora’s box. How would HE feel if you wanted another man in the relationship? He wouldn’t like it.