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QUESTION:
"My husband just told me tonight that after 2 kids and 10 years together he wants a divorce. We just moved across the country and I have no one. No family, friends. He doesn’t want to try to work it out. He’s done. Sooo I’m sitting here wondering how on earth I will be able to live with only having the kids half the time. Until a month ago I’ve been a stay-at-home mom. My son is 6 and my daughter is 2.5. I’m so lost. What do I do? How do I cope with this?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Get a job, first and more importantly get a job. This is why is so important that women don’t become dependent on men. After you get a job make a budget. He will need to pay child support and in some cases spousal support."
"recently just went through a divorce after 10 years & two kids - it’s hard. like really hard. I still have my bad days where I’m lost but it does get easier with time. you’re not alone dear."
"I would go back home where you have a support system."
"First of all, get yourself a good attorney and make sure that you are protected financially. Good luck to you, he dealt you a dirty hand."
"Take him for alimony and child support and move back to the family."
"I would move back home. Since the kids were born there that will be their “home state” and you’ll most likely get full custody and he’ll get summer breaks, spring breaks, etc."
"Start taking care of yourself and the kids. Get as much money together as you can and get an attorney. You will have to become a fighter for yourself and your kids. You should be entitled to child support and alimony, but that doesn’t kick in till the divorce is final. Get legal help ASAP."
"Get a good lawyer. Full custody, child support, alimony, it’s hard but you can do it. If he wants visitation make him do it through a lawyer. If you want to move back across the country do it, through a lawyer."
"Honestly, let him divorce you. It’ll be hard but it’s better than living unhappily. However, after 10 years and children together I would demand alimony and child support until you can rebuild your life. I would even move back home and push for primary custody but most definitely do not prevent him from being a father because the marriage didn’t work out. He’ll most likely have to pay spousal support. You need an attorney and can get legal aid to help. You can do it on your own and you may actually be happier that way. You’ll be able to receive assistance as a newly single mother. You’ll get help with childcare even and will be able to find employment and a stable place to live. Just remember when searching for employment to find something that fits your children’s needs and schedule. You will be fine. You can go find what makes you happy and achieve it. It’s a sad situation but try looking positively about it and don’t let it reflect on your children."
"I’d say move back home and do it asap before he goes to the courts to try and stop you. Sounds like he waited till after he got you out to where he wanted to be to end things."
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