You sound selfish. Your son would be able to get his therapy covered by tricare. Also most military families are stationed for 2-4 years in one place if they get deployed or if they have littles at home. Also most service members are able to come home for the holidays. However i do understand why you dont.
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Isn’t marriage about supporting eachother? You have a skewed idea of Military life. My parents were both Marines and not once did they ever miss a major holiday with us. Medical care through the military is one of the best. If you put your child in daycare now, how is that different if you live in another state? Seems like maybe YOU should do your homework…
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Brave man! If he pursues…thank him for his service from my entire family🇺🇸
Let him go that his GOALS and HIS WISH I will let my husband or boyfriend in military make him HAPPY made sure he is RESPONSIBILITY he has FAMILYS in long distance and if he don’t support my familys i will leave him alone then MY OWN MYSELF go school, go work, taking kids day care, takin kids school & I don’t care everything expensive & money kill us thats LIFE all MOTHER we CAN DO IT Just saying…
I’m mother with 4 & I’m married I never go work in my life & he work himself & my family never been there for me & kids since kids born ONLY family law been there for me & since kids born so I can afford it I never work 29years. 
All I hear is I, I, I, I, I,I.
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She sound very selfish…
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Anna Kathryn because it’s her choice and her feelings. Mind your own if you can’t be decent.
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I refuse to date or stay with anyone who enlists. I won’t raise my family alone. It’s not selfish if you’re straight up about it.
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A military family is not meant for everyone. I don’t think I could handle being a military wife as well. I feel like some women do great with it, and others just don’t. You both need to work this out together. Maybe there are other great paying jobs he can get. Think about his skills and what he’s good at. Sometimes he might have to start from the bottom and work his way up, but he will actually get to be there with your family.
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Both my parents were career military. Both my parents were always there for me, always. I had amazing healthcare, always had everything I needed as a child. Great sense of community everywhere we lived, surrounded by other military families. I am thankful for my parents choice to be in the military. It afforded me so many opportunities
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There were an awful lot of I’s and I’ms in the that short paragraph
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I don’t know what state you’re from but I’m from PA and any kind of speech or occupational therapy or special education is done through our counties and we don’t have to pay. Also I was terrified leaving my son in daycare when I went to work but I’ll be perfectly honest, his speech and social skills improved greatly. Being around the other kids those teachers are wonderful! I can understand your fears but it is an admirable thing to do to choose to serve and you should be proud of him. Also your son will be proud of him too. You guys can make it work out! Look into your county providing therapy for your son either way. Save some money!
The reserves could be an option i grew up in an air force household. My dad was active duty when he enlisted. Went to reserves when he had kids. When 9/11 happened he was activated and was shipped over seas. Its hard but we managed. My dad is now fully retired with great benefits
Let him it’s not that bad .
My husband been in for 15 years now! Honestly I feel so blessed that he is in my son had OT, Speech , Physical and we don’t have to worry of co pay since we have prime. I don’t know about Air Force but my husband is navy and only been on deployment twice … yes it’s hard but he loves what he does all I can do is support him.
My daughter’s dad is military but we aren’t together. She has tricare through him and also is in therapy for adhd and all of her medical expenses are paid for. He is active duty for the army and is currently deployed. Because of that they have extra support and help for my daughter with all kinds of expenses. Plus I benefit from some of the stuff to. Like I get to use her ID to buy groceries and goods at commissary (tax free) if I wanted to. There are a lot of benefits and help for military families. Just something to think about. I completely understand not wanting to pack up and move all the time. Like stated above, its not for everyone. Good luck with everything
Military was the best thing for me and my family. We got to see some beautiful places. My husband and I were both active duty army. You don’t have to mack it a 20 yr commitment. I know several of my soldiers only did 5 yr. A few did 3 yr. Tricare is great!!! I grew up in by Eglin air force base in fl. Its freaking beautiful. I miss being on the beach.
I am a military brat of a career Coast Guard father. Sure I moved around on average every 3 years. We landed in the DC area when I was in 6th grade and even though my Dad moved from detail to detail we were lucky to have stayed in that area. I am not going to lie there were some sacrifices but I can say that I still talk to a friend that I knew when we lived in WA. Plus the amount of this country that I have seen and experienced is priceless. The health care is amazing and if you live on base you may not have to find work unless you want to. The community that the military brings is also nothing you will understand unless you have lived it. I am proud to be a Coast Guard brat.
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He is trying to do what he believes is right for your family and the needs of his son. The military even reserves shapes a person in so many positive ways. Their creed is outstanding. I am an Army Veterans wife and my husband is the most loyal, kind hearted smart a;; I’ve ever met. Lol he is an amazing father and husband. Talk it over with him and see what his passion is to go in. If it’s truly a passion and a need for him to enlist stand strong beside him and he will make sure you all are taken care of. Give him a chance to speak without saying no or butting in.
There may be drawbacks, but there are a lot of great benefits to military life as well. It could give your son the opportunity to see places that he might not otherwise. Also keep in mind that if this is something that your husband feels strongly about doing with his life it will not benefit you, your son or your family to try to hold him back from it. Try to think about the support that you would want from him if the roles were reversed.
I am a military child. And I am here to say yes it is rough. There were things I missed with my father when I was growing up, but i couldn’t have been more proud of my army dad. Sometimes it sucked, but even as a kid i knew he was doing a good service for our country. And they are great benefits you guys can get as family through the military such as insurance and stuff.
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After he received his training and assigned a duty station, you can get plenty of military benefits you wouldn’t have to work. You husband is making a long term family plan, you should support him, it’s for all your futures
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My husband is a Drill Sergeant in the US Army. Has been a soldier since before I even met him.
It’s a hard life. I’m not going to sugar coat it.
Your son will 100% be taken care of medically if he joins. Tricare has its moments of being annoying, but we have always gotten the treatment we need for absolutely nothing. It can be a little annoying but it’s an amazing insurance.
Plus, there are a ton of other benefits you and your family will get.
He’s also going AF, it’s a much more laid back branch than others. Having been around AF bases and soldiers while we were overseas in Germany (We got paid to live in Germany for 3 years… That’s pretty frigging amazing and wouldnt have happened without the Army), it’s a much easier time in the AF. Not that it’s insanely easy, it’s still military, there will still be moments. But it’s much different in the AF.
You don’t move as much as people say, depending on his job and such. 3 years usually, sometimes more, not so often less. He could choose to stay where he is at times, too, depending on what his contract is like. I know people who kept reenlisting for Germany and had been there for years when we were there (Germany is hard to stay in Haha, but, many stay in specific states they like).
Yes. Military life is hard. But it’s not impossible, it has tons of benefits for your son, if that’s what you’re mainly worried about, and I honestly believe you should be supportive and proud of your husband for making this decision.
Be supportive. Especially if your concern is about your son. He’ll be better taken care of because of the military.
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The military services have excellent medical care to include physical therapy and speech therapy…if a family member needs some sort of care that they don’t offer, they send to specialists and pay the bills. Child care is second to no one else…providers go through strenuous background checks and constant oversight. In the military family you would be part of a warm, close second big family. Call any military base and talk with the family services folks about what is offered before you refuse the idea.
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Contrary to all your complaints… count your blessings that your husband wants to give his family a better standard of living. You’re absolutely NOT thinking of your son first.
There’s endless possibilities, experiences. Relationships to build and enjoy.
Won’t be able to work???
Sounds like your choice
Which is a first world problem.
Moving would not be yearly but what an adventure life can be to accept the one you gave vows to and explore the world together… AS A FAMILY!!
You don’t “sound” selfish. This is very selfish of you. Your husband seems to be the selfless one. Appreciate that.
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Let him join. Support him in what he wants to do.
Let him go. Gosh. Yes he will still be able to get his therapy, just with a tricare approved physician. Not every body loses holidays and you can still work, it’s easy to actually find someone you trust plus there are CDC and FCC providers
If your son has special needs then it IS what’s best for your son. The military covers all of that and makes special accommodations for them. The Air Force is the best/most family oriented branch and the majority of career fields give all major holidays off. Of course there is always the chance of deployment— but the Air Force deployments are much shorter and tend to have more luxuries like constant internet and phone access. I’ve been in the Air Force since 2003 and I have 3 kids. I’m home more with my kids/family than any of my friends that work in medical or hospitality as civilians. Feel free to message me… I’d love to answer all your questions
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My kids are set bc of my husband being in the air force. It would be very beneficial to your family and your son.
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I think it is up to the couple. I personally hated my husband being in the Navy.
You sound a little selfish. You’re suppose to support him. At least he came to you about it before just doing it. It’s hard but not impossible.
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Military life isn’t for everyone. My husband has been in the Air Force for almost 11 years and I wouldn’t change it for the world. He was active duty for 4 years and is now active guard. He’s in Security Forces and now runs his own training program for his squadron and has every weekend off. He’s currently on first deployment and yes it’s been hard, but the distance has only made us stronger as a couple. It’s scary at first, but you get used to it. You get housing allowance, Tricare benefits are great, and the experience alone is worth it. Yes it is tough raising kids alone sometimes, but you’re not alone as often as you think you would be. Have your husband look into going National Guard, it might be a better route for your family.
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I am also a 'military bear’s , as are my children. The education they recieved, the places the saw, and the diverse friends they made are invaluable. Children are resilient and will embrace this live style as long as you keep your paranoia to yourself and let him enjoy the experience.
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Excellent benefits and a sign on bonus too … if deployed its a nice lump sum too. I sense that what you really don’t want is time alone. I get it. Im clingy too. You get used to it. Video calls… it goes by fast. The kids will be fine I promise.
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Talk to an enlisting Sargent about concerns, and how it works. Might be able to make a better decision then.
Born an Air Force brat in Guam
Army wife here!
Its really not as bad as you think. My husband has his first deployment coming up, and while yes it sucks and my 2 kids will miss them so much. The homecoming will be soooo sweet. I’ve already thought about all he’s going to miss, but it really does make us stronger. Honestly without him joining we’d likely still be living with his mom. Tricare covers soooo much! I’m sure they would cover speech therapy. We’ve been stuck at one duty station for 4 years, but we joined to get to see the world. It will teach us and our children culture (if we go out of the us) and it will help build string relationships because you know eventually someone will move away. While it has its faults, it has soooo many advantages. If he makes a career out of it, your childs college can be free! Or even for you. You and your husband have to decide together if it’s what will work for your family. But just wanted to let ya know it’s not a total shit show. It can be great. And like any situation in life, it’s what you make it 
good luck!
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Let him join. My dad was military and we had great benefits and only moved once. My mom met him when I was 13 and the only time we moved was when I was 16. He had moved a couple times before that but it wasn’t every year or so. And the base housing is nice. So are the daycares. If I were you I’d go with him to talk to a recruiter so they can tell you how it actually will be.
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It would be great to travel and u will make new friends and use the daycare on base u will become friends with them
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Military life is rough if your young and some relationships don’t last because of it … but all your husband is doing is what is best for his family … DONT STOP HIM… if you are truly married to him you can go with him where ever he goes outside of basic training , Military families look out for one another … they will help you with what ever your needs are…QUIT BEING SELFISH think about what your husband is trying to do for his family and support him in it
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It will be the best decision you will ever make. I met my husband when he was stationed in the state I lived in. Born and raised there I never thought I would leave. I had a 3 year old son. We got married a week before he left for a 1 year tour in Korea. We did this so my child and myself could get all the medical and benefits and housing allowance and stuff. Then he got to chose his base preference when he got back and we moved to Alaska. We were there for 2 tours a total of 7 years. Depending on what career field he chooses and stuff you might not have to move as often as you think. We had 2 more children while there, made so many great longtime friends. I didn’t have .to work. So many opportunities for us. It was awesome. And yes it was hard to uproot my son and myself from my family but it was worth it. We got to see places I never would have went. My kids are so well rounded and learned so much and made a lot of friends. Military life is incredible. We retired 4 years ago. He did 24 years in the Airforce. Our kids are grown and I have a grandson. We are set for life now and he is 48 and I’m 47. Now he has a civilian job on base just to keep busy. I know it sounds scary but trust me you will adjust and end up loving it. Good luck.
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My little cousin loved moving all the time there dad was in the airforce
Sounds to me like he’s trying to build a future for you son. I was a military kid and if I remember correctly they had great medical insurance.
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My husband’s uncle is in the air force and him his wife and their kids have stayed in one place… the kids are teens and have lived in the same house since they were babies … I would let him join
We are an active duty Air Force family. While it can be challenging at times it was the best decision my husband could have ever made . Tricare is our insurance and your son will get all his therapies that he needs with ZERO out of pocket costs . We get an allowance that is separate from our paycheck for housing . You can choose to live in base which is what we have done . All of our utilities is included . As for working I have never had a problem finding a job anywhere we have been . We also have no family close so my kids did go to the CDC ( child development center ) on base. It was a great facility and is strictly ran . I hope that you can see past to doubts at the good that this could provide for your family .
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Military wife here… He will resent you if you do not support him in this. This is a career, not a job. And one that offers so much more stability than civilian. The insurance is great, I have chronic medical issues and have never paid out of pocket. I work for UHC, and see the other side of things and am extremely blessed to have tricare. Your sons therapy will be taken care of. We’ve been in our current city since 2014. I’ve never had a holiday without my husband. I’d definitely change your mindset.
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Your son would have all medical needs covered by insurance with the air force. If I were you id be supportive and stand by him. Atleast he asked and didn’t just go do it.
I understand your worries 2 of my sister’s were military wives its lonely at times but worth it
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I don’t have any personal military experience, so I’m coming at this from a different perspective. I’ve seen several comments that said you’re being selfish. I don’t think military family life is for everyone. Just like not everyone could be married to a truck driver, or an attorney or a factory worker. Each one requires different things of the employee and it may not be for every family. It also doesn’t make you selfish to have misgivings about something you know nothing about. That makes you human. I think you should meet with the recruiter and ask the questions you have and then take the information you’re seeing here, plus the information you get from the recruiter and make a pros and cons list with your SO. Be clear with him ahead of time that you’re only seeing the recruiter to make an informed decision and that you don’t intend to commit to anything yet. You guys can discuss afterwards.
Between the 2 of you, you may find that the decision gets made for you. He may decide it’s not for him, or you may decide it’s a different situation than you thought. If you’re still left at an impasse, see if there’s a compromise you can make. Maybe he can take a different position that means you move less or something. Bless you as you move forward 
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You are being selfish. Your son will be allowed to be in rolled in school on base and as a mom who has a child who has speech and occupational therapy needs when my husband was in the military my son received some of the best services on base at school You will meet other wives there and you will make friends for life. And your husband will feel like a better man for doing it. You will be able to work while your son is in school.
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Former service member here, and current military wife. To address some of your concerns about medical, the military will pay for everything he needs. Medical, dental, speech, therapy, anything extra. You won’t need to work if you don’t want too, he will get money just for rent called BAH. Then his base pay. You could do online school (you would get 4500 a year paid for) or find a job from home. They have childcare that is based of his pay. So you would never pay more than you can afford. I won’t lie sometimes military life is hard but it has helped my family be as successful as we are. Moving isn’t bad and the kids love it. I like changing houses often. As our family grows we are allotted more space. Now from the service member side of things I definitely wish I had gone Airforce instead of Army. They have the best housing, the best family support, and the best food lol. He also would get school free while he is in service. Then 40k when he gets out. If he doesn’t use that he can give that to your son. 40k in school paid for both my degrees. I know this can be scary but he is 100% thinking about the future. If its what he wants support him. Its hard but not impossible and can be so very beneficial.
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I also forgot to add in my big long comment earlier, lol 2 of my kids are also in college now thanks to the military and the GI bill. And we also have all these policies set up for if my husband passes I am well taken care of. It’s all soooooo worth it.
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If he joins, your sons occupational and speech therapy will be covered under your husband’s insurance. You’ll have health insurance and cheap af dental insurance. Your husband will make a salary and other monetary benefits and where ever you get stationed has on base childcare at a reduced price to his current rank. If you can’t work, take online classes and get a degree, they have programs for military spouses. There are so many resources available to your family if your husband is serving!
My husband is active duty army.
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My daughter is in the Navy. There usually is childcare on or near a base, Tricare is great, and she has rarely had to work on holidays. My dad worked for the railroad and frequently missed holidays. The support system is great!
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I have to weigh in coming from a military family yes the money in the long run is good and yes some holidays will be missed in actuality there is great benefits my brother decided to go also he joined at 18 retired at 48 with 5000 month pension he spent 8 of those years abroad 4 in Iraq on aircraft carrier and the other in Japan they are required to serve sea duty but they can be also land in another country where you can go He spent about 8 years of his time.in England with his family they loved it there when they came back he bought his house and had to leave again she and their son stayed behind but he always returned for holidays that was the time he had to go to Iraq. MY sisters husband decided to join the airforce at 21 and they were apart for 7 months for training they both lived in Italy for four years they loved it and then came back they stayed in the US most all.his time when my sister found out she had cancer they mo ed them to a base that had specialists and they rented out their house until they could return he spent 2 years in.iraq but did ome.home in between. I know what you must be feeling my sister felt the same way but in the end she said it was the best choice they could have made ever
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By the way your son will be taken care of and he can try it for four years you have to re enlist every four years if it does not work after four years he doesn’t have to re enlist but I do think its a big mistake if your son has special needs its the best option for him. Life is sacrifices and sometimes we often forget that when we live someone we should always support them and encourage them to be their best. Don’t hold him back because your scared or concerned for your son in the end that will always be a what if. Give it a try for four years you just never know how much good it will do for your family in the long run.
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Hes probably also thinking about his family. Everything you mentioned is trivial really.
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Best insurance, you will be set there…
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Let him join. God bless him for stepping up for you, your son and the rest of us. Good luck in your decision.
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My husband is active duty air force and deployed currently. We have been together for like 7 years now and he has been in the air force for 12. One daughter age 5.5. He works flight line so he tends to TDY for a couple weeks a couple times a year and he deploys for 6 months every other year. The military community is extremely helpful during times like that and of hardship and there are MANY resources available to help you. Including free or cheap child care.
The insurance is bar none, trouble is convincing the military docs to diagnose you with anything, they rather suck at that. My daughter has therapy for ST, OT and PT twice each every week, COMPLETELY covered by insurance. She’s also a type 1 Diabetic which was a more recent diagnosis. We would be in a much, much harder place financially if Tricare didn’t cover damn near everything.
Almost everything is covered by Tricare, especially if you get your meds on base all your meds are free. There is base child care you can qualify for at reduced rates that is based upon income.
It’s a hell of a lot of stress, there’s a lot of politics and crap that can drive my husband up the wall … but I do believe it is worth going into the military for all the benefits. Plus if he retires with 20 years, he gets a percentage of his income for the rest of his life. We are hoping to get my husband off of flight line so he can handle the stress of the last 8 years and retire. It’ll cover all our medical shit (and with type 1 Diabetes, it’s a lot) and give us a steady income for life.
I understand you’re thinking of your son, but you also think to think of your husband as well. If it’s something he wants to do, and is passionate about. You’re supposed to support his dreams and help him accomplish them. Not fight him because it’s something you don’t want to happen. If you did any research at all, you’d that it’s very very beneficial for your family as well as yourself. Your son, and like millions of other children who are kids of the people in the military, will survive.
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Just because he enlists doesnt mean he’ll be deployed. The pay is worth ot, the insurance is worth it. You’ll make friends and bond and trust will form. You get to travel with him when he’s stationed places. Its 100% worth it. My husband was in the Marines and ever since getting out it’s been hell trying to readjust to civilian life. After I have this baby I’m enlisting in the Army so my kids will be set.
Try going with him to talk with a recruiter, you’ll change your mind.
Do some research on the benefits
The hardest part of sharing a life with someone is letting go of thier decisions.
My brother was in navy for 20 years… stayed in norfolk, va the whole time
We own a brand new 3300 sq ft home, bew build, just moved in 2 weeks ago… because my husband is a veteran! We firmly believe his va loan is the only way we would’ve managed to get this house. And health insurance when we got married is a great thing to have at a fraction of the cost from my employer.
But, we married after he served. I’d struggle being married if he were still active service.
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My husbands in the marine corps. We have full benefits as in insurance covers quite a lot of our medical needs.
Going without him depends on what he chooses in the Air Force. A lot of the time most don’t deploy or even leave.
As for childcare, there’s childcare on most bases for parents who choose to work, there’s also a requirement in base that if you do in home child care you have to prove to the housing managers you have all the required state certificates and cpr/first aid certification before you can’t watch children. Do you can still work if you’d like.
My husband has been in almost 13 years now, Air Force. I talked him into joining when he couldn’t decide what he wanted to do in life…He now says it was the best thing he could have done. If your husband wants to go, you better let him. He will start blaming you for everything bad that comes up if you don’t and it could end your marriage.
In his 13 years, we own 2 homes, our 1500 square foot starter home and now our 3800 square foot new home where we will probably retire. He has voluntarily deployed twice and only once has he missed Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Your child will have the best insurance and if you use the base for healthcare, you’ll never pay for anything…We don’t. We have Tricare standard and don’t go on base. But, that’s up to you.
Thank goodness for men and women who feel the same way he does. Get behind your man and support him in his choice. If your child needs medical he will get it and you can work, find a reputable person for day care don’t use your son as an excuse for your husbands dream.
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If he doesn’t join because you don’t want him to he’s going to resent you
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Never join BC of money or being “ set” he has to want the lifestyle that comes with it too.
They pay for your sons college. So think about that. You’ll g a e best insurance fhere is being on his wotn the Or force. WhT hes doing is the most selfless act, to fight for our country i think you need to not hold someone bCk from their dreams. Bc its insane when people do this. Let him go. Or you’ll end up being resented and divorced. And than your son really won’t see him bc he’d end up going to air force. At least uou can get a home close to base anx be set. Litrrally.
Kate Starr I know you have lived the military life. What’s your advice?
It would be a great opportunity for your family you are not losing, you will be gaining so much!!!
Grew up as an Air Force Brat. I didn’t love moving every couple of years but also I can say I’ve lived here, there and everywhere. My Dad retired after 20 years. His TriCare was a blessing for my Mom even after he passed. She spent six weeks in the hospital once (on a ventilator, then rehab) and when she received the hospital bill, she asked me to be with her when she opened it. She really thought she’d have a heart attack, because it was so thick. She flipped through the pages of charges, and her final balance was $3.00. Dad and his military service took care of her always. 
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You are being selfish let him join his kid will. E proud
How do you figure you won’t be set? Tricare will take care of pretty much every medical need any of you have, bases have legitimate daycare facilities and schools so you can still have a job, the GI bill he’ll get will be one of the best loan opportunities that ever happened to you, and if you have to move every couple of years, it’s not that big of a deal. Holidays are all dependent on his work schedule, and yes even the military has work schedules so it’s not like he’ll never be home.
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My brother married his wife, they’re both in the navy and have 2 kids.
Please look into the benefits before you assume they dont help you.
Plus they pay for your living.
And not everyone is deployed.
It depends on the job.
Talk to the recruiter and let him take the test first. And not everyone is sent overseas either.
You must know the black and white before. And hes not just doing it for him, its for the whole family.
Don’t knock his dreams if he is deciding to sign his life so you guys can have better. Be more open minded.
I’m sorry but sound completely misinformed… air force will.set you up for life (as long as he is in). Speech will be paid for. Daycares on the base you will be stationed at
As a retired veteran of the AirForce I’m here to tell you that you are viewing the airforce completely wrong. Yes there may be some holidays missed however there is holiday rotation depending on his job meaning he may have a job that allows him to be off every holiday and if he has an essential job then rotation happens meaning he gets to pick if he will work thanksgiving or Christmas and be off for the other. Your family will be covered for medical expenses with Tricare which you usually never have to pay anything out of pocket for. AirForce has a saying “family first” and they support families not dismantle them. I can go on and on about how your perspective on the AirForce is completely warped and incorrect. Also your husband will usually be assigned to a new base every 4 years stateside and every 3 overseas with the power to request to extend vs move. You are sabotaging a very great career choice for your husband based on your lack of understanding
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As far as insurance and medical coverage goes, military is one of the most stable options. If your child requires occupational and speech therapy, those services are provided at no cost. If your child qualifies under under the Exceptional Family Care Plan, your husband can request to be placed in certain areas where your family will have more access to those specialized services. I understand that military service can be worrisome, especially if you don’t have any prior experience with it but it is a viable option, if you and your husband are able to talk about all your concerns and options. I have two children; had my first while I was still in the military. The difference in ease and access to care on base versus off has been noticeable. Besides which, the military has paid off all of my school loans, paid for my masters degree, is currently paying for my law degree, and paid for my husband’s two masters, and he’s still in. On base, I loved the childcare, the fact they usually do have options for spouses to find work, and the fact that many programs offer military spouses education and vocational training benefits. If your husband truly wants to serve, that’s not necessarily a feeling that goes away. Best bet is to talk and do your research together. If you can find a Air Force recruiter who will answer calls (TBH they’re notoriously difficult to get a hold of compared to other branches) talk to the recruiter together with a list of questions and concerns you have.
My mom served 24 years in USAF, as a single mom. I had a GREAT childhood. Mom knew everyone on base, so we always played outside with the other kids, as long as we were home when the street lights came on. Mom was there for every holiday, and only our last move (her retiring) was hard. My son who is 16 is thinking about joining and I am thrilled for him. Give it some thought!
i think u should make a list of pros and cons. whatever he chooses should be BOTH of yalls choice.
every job sucks at some point. my husband is a contractor and so far this month (counting today) hes been working 16 days straight. but i do love that we never struggle like before and he loves his job.
just be patient. and remember that marriage means u have to talk about what yall both want. and yall can also set up everything on a timeline for the future if that helps.
There are services for your child. Kids are more resilient than adults. There are several great resources on the military bases. As a family you get to explore new places and learn lots of interesting stuff. After spouse gets out you can return to your home town. Life is full of adventures. When opportunity knocks… take it. Life is too short. Explore, Love, Live Life to the fullest.
My friends husband is in the army and she’s a stay at home mom to her two kids and he supports them. Let him do what makes him happy.
Military life is not easy but look at the places you will get to see and they do have some good health care. You need to discuss this. If you don’t support him he could be resentful and the same goes with you. There are no guarantees in life and you never know something may come up and you might not get to spend holiday together.
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Hubs was army. It wasn’t bad. You get amazing benefits and depending on which tricare insurance you sign up for, you don’t have to pay anything for any service. They have day cares on base that the employees have to be screened and they are held to high standards and its sliding scale. A lot of my friends use them and they love it (though some areas there isna wait list). Its nice because you have a stable income and is a slight increase every year. Yes you have to move but you get to meet so many people and experience so many different cultures that you normally wouldn’t. Plus you can evaluate every 3 years (depending on length of contract) if its fight for you guys or not.
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Shows how little you know about the military! All your sons healthcare would be paid for no cost, childcare isnt bad. And the Air Force hahaha yea probably have the best opportunity at him always being home it’s the other branches that miss more holidays. My child is a military brat and shes is very well adjusted in life. She rolls with the punches and may not have the best relationship with her father but that’s on him.more then the military. You should do more research much like he probably has before you make a decision to force him not to do something he wants to do.
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A lot of good info here. I don’t think you are selfish, I think you are reacting in fear without enough knowledge. I also think you really need to think about why you reacted with no faith or support for him and what that makes him feel like. It may have nothing to do with him in particular, could be stability issues or a problem with change, but you need to think about it and communicate about this because this could easily become a point of serious contention.
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The air force is an as stepping stone.Its alot different then most forms of the military. It is also set to a very high standard. I would support him as the long term benefit will pay off for him and the family.
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Your son will get the occupational and speech therapy. It’s a process but it will get done. The Air Force is great - but if you can’t be away from your family and home, don’t do it. The stress of being in a new place paired with having NO support outside of your husbands new shop can be really challenging.
Military cover all medical expenses. You don’t pay anything out of pocket. They will sometimes(depending on the situation) will cover child care costs. If he chooses to go Airforce, he might make more than he does now. You don’t always move every year. If he gets stationed somewhere that is not in high demand, he could spend 4 or more years in the same base. Don’t be so quick to nix his idea. Atleast have him talk to a recruiter and see what they say.
That is tough and it would be one thing if y’all got together with him in there but this is different. Also everything for your son would be taken care of. Military has great insurance for military and their family. But I wouldn’t go for it with my husband either, who was in the army when we first were together.
Loved my life as a military brat. Got to live all over the world,see so many wonderous things, different cultures, different foods. All with my family. Never afraid a trip to the hospital would bankrupt the family. There were right kids in my family! The military has been moving and taking care of families longer than I can say. It developes a sense of respect for your family,your community,and your country.
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13 years in the Air Force life with 4 kids and it’s the best decision we made for our kids and family. Healthcare for life including specialty services. Yeah sometimes we miss holidays but the benefits we reap long term far exceed missing a couple holidays. Your child would be set up with a college education and therapies covered. Our kids have learned what it means to be resilient. To make the most of a situation and to adapt quickly. You don’t always move every year. It depends on your job. It could be every 4 yrs, you can do your entire career at one base if your job title allows it. As far as uprooting them from everything they know…they are children…they make new friends everywhere they go. You would too. Family is important but so is branching out and experiencing other parts of the country/world. Our Air Force family is our real family, they have become our village and we couldn’t get thru this lifestyle without them. A steady paycheck, opportunities for an education to be paid for while serving, with bonuses and room to go up in rank and make more etc…it’s the best choice you could make to provide for a family! Hands down! I wouldn’t trade this life for anything. My kids are growing into amazing, independent, strong, resilient people because of this lifestyle we live.
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Being that you wouldn’t be able to afford the kid occupational and speech therapy , should he enlist the kid will receive the services needed to thrive. That alone should be a huge incentive… his income will be stable. You have the option for base housing which will be a help. Plus the Air Force contracts aren’t forever but long enough to get you guys to be stable. On top of all that it’s something your husband wants. Support his desires too, you would want him to do the same.
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Honestly, if anyone has a right to be hurt, its HIM!!
You should be PROUD that he wants to serve his country! Military healthcare is top of the line, ESPECIALLY FOR THE AF, and your son would undoubtedly be proud of his dad! You and your child would actually do much better due to the benefits! I pity any servicemember who doesn’t have a supportive spouse!
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Air Force has such great Support for spouses and family members. No more worried about childcare ( childdevelopment center on base) you would have good medical care.
Military wife here, with 2 sons. There are times where it is hard, most life situations are, but healthcare is amazing, your husband will feel accomplished, your son will have an even better person to look up to. Our son loves that his father his an “army”, as he puts it. For work, you can qualify for FMLA if there is a deployment and most employers are very accommodating with military circumstances. This can help your family a lot more than it can hurt it. Just have to make the best of things when he may be gone. Your son will be thrilled and excited to see his father be in a position like that. Mine is every day and to see my son excited about his father, makes me happy and love them more.
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I think its selfish to not want him to pursue what he wants. If the tables were turned and it was you wanting to join, you’d want his support.
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Support him your child will have best healthcare available you will get to travel and your child will grow with discipline
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If you are uncomfortable and you would not be happy then be honest with yourself. You are not selfish if you choose your own happiness. You are making a choice that protects yourself and your man.
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