QUESTION:
"My husband wants to join the Air Force, but I do not agree with it.
He says we’ll be set as well as our son. In reality, we won’t. I don’t want my son to go without his dad on holidays.
I won’t be able to work because I’ll have no childcare because I’m not leaving my son with a random person I do not know. I don’t know if my son will get his occupational and speech therapy because I cannot afford it out of pocket; I also do not want to uproot my son from what he knows and have to move every year or so.
It’s not beneficial for our family, and he wants to go. I know I sound selfish, but I’m thinking about my son first."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“Tricare prime is some of the best insurance out there, it would definitely cover all the therapies he could ever need. Your husband joining the military is. Probably the best thing he could do for your son.”
“’ve been in the AF for almost 10 years now, so here’s my insight. There is no guarantee for any of that. Most normal AF jobs get holidays & weekends off. Every base has its own childcare center. Military health insurance is pretty good, they would cover your son’s therapy. Depending on the job there are only certain bases you can be assigned to, most people don’t move every year, more like every 5-6 years unless you’re overseas. I’d suggest going to talk to the recruiter with your husband and asking him all these questions before straight up saying no.”
“The air force is probably the most ‘family-friendly’ military branch. Military life is not easy, but it is well worth it. Your son will be covered under his benefits. Military insurance is very good, and you won’t be paying out of pocket for that if he is enlisted. My husband is retired military, and I wouldn’t change those years for anything. We met amazing people, we grew so much as individuals and as a couple. It is something you need to sit down and weigh out your options, but don’t shut it down just because of the what-ifs.”
“While it is a decision you should make as a couple, there was a lot of ‘I don’t wants’ in that statement. Air Force is better than others at taking care of their own. Your son’s health issues would be covered. My husband has a genetic heart condition and we have paid nothing out of pocket for it.”
“My ex-husband was in the Army for over 23 years. Your son’s medical will be covered. Being a military spouse was the best years of my life. My daughter is now 24 years old. She says she loved being an Army brat. I still have so many lifelong friends I met thru our Army adventure. I still have Tricare and Army privileges after our divorce. I would say yes go into the Air Force. You will have friends for life!!”
“I refuse to date or stay with anyone who enlists. I won’t raise my family alone. It’s not selfish if you’re straight up about it.”
“He’s probably also thinking about his family. Everything you mentioned is trivial really.”
“Both my parents were career military. Both my parents were always there for me, always. I had amazing healthcare, always had everything I needed as a child. Great sense of community everywhere we lived, surrounded by other military families. I am thankful for my parents’ choice to be in the military. It afforded me so many opportunities.”
“Military wife here… He will resent you if you do not support him in this. This is a career, not a job. And one that offers so much more stability than civilians. The insurance is great, I have chronic medical issues and have never paid out of pocket. I work for UHC, and see the other side of things, and am extremely blessed to have Tricare. Your son’s therapy will be taken care of. We’ve been in our current city since 2014. I’ve never had a holiday without my husband. I’d definitely change your mindset.”
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