I am a huge proponent of keeping finances separate even during marriage. Divorce teaches hard lessons. If you are capable of doing it, I strongly advise investing in your own property in case of any future issues. I know I am in the minority here, but I agree with his decision. However, I do think that you should have protection for your part of the investment in the property. It’s just too late for that. It is already done. Now you need to build for yourself as your protection. You might consider having a consultation with a lawyer to find out for sure what the future would hold under different scenarios, like divorce, death, etc. For example, my mother had a prenup and her husband signed a document stating he had no rights to her properties. When she died the lawyer said he still had rights to a percentage of the property. I don’t understand that, but it was true.
Save your money from second job and get a down payment buy your own house, rent it out if you intend to stay in the marriage. This way your kids and yourself have your own home in case.
STOP putting money into his house. Start a savings account for your kids. You could have over 20 grand saved for them already. You’re husband is clearly not gonna look after you guys. Also iff you don’t already apply for life insurance and make your kids the beneficiaries
It means he’s giving the house to his kids when he dies.
I wouldn’t put someone else’s name on my house either. That’s like if I got married I wouldn’t add my husband on my car either. You guy’s live together, you are married, you share the house, if you get divorced half of everything is yours mostly anyways. I think that would just cause a rift in the marriage. Would you put his name on your house?
If you’re married in most states all property you entered the marriage with becomes joint. Minus some retirements, pensions and military benefits. Unless you have a prenup half that house is yours anyways. Find the law if it’s in your favor tell him it saves an argument later with the kids. Once you both know that everything is joint property even if you have your own accounts do a will do you know what goes to what kids or how you want things divided. Then entrust someone outside the family unbiased to manage it for you. That way there is no in fighting should either of you pass.
If it were only that easy to shield assets, without a pre-nup in most all states you cant just keep peoples names off paperwork and expect that to shield, even if a trust or will was drawn up it wouldnt be binding without your signature, the flip side of that is all the assets you brought into the marriage are also now “community”
If there’s no prenuptial agreement stating you leave the marriage with what you came with then you can still make a claim to that property if divorce or death if there’s no will stating his kids the house I had a vehicle prior to marriage and was still titled in my maiden name and I had to either pay him for half of vehicle value or sell it and split the money even though it was mine prior to marriage that was in Indiana so and if you been married for 10 years then it becomes marital property
Curious of the age of kids.
You shouldn’t of did all of that if your name wasn’t on it now it’s too late he had that property before you don’t think there’s really anything you can do other than make sure he has a trust and hopefully leaves it to you
First of all, stop paying for his house stuff. If it were me I would not pay anything that has to do with the house no payments or additions or any damn taxes since he is. Being a POS about things smh. Pay for you and your kids things and half bills and half on anything. What an asshat. Smh. Sorry you have a marriage like this. I would be walking out no thank you. Glad my hubby is a good man with morals on what a marriage means.
Just like Mindy said Don’t spend anymore money on the place then and save your money or buy nice things for you and your kids. Get a good life insurance plan and make your kids ONLY the beneficiaries. If he has a issue with that then say “well my names not on the house so i gotta leave something for MY kids”
Save receipts and stop putting money into his home
It’s his house. I don’t really blame him but I understand you too. If I was you I’d get my own house and pay to make that house better. Also if you have 3 kids don’t get a second job to fix his house. Are they grown now? I feel that if you have young kids then maybe you should worry more about them instead of fixing his house. If they’re older then hopefully They are living their own lives and won’t need you to leave anything to them. I also don’t see it as selfish of him though. He’s been there done that and is protecting himself if rolls were Reversed then more women would understand that. If you’re living there then bills should be split in half or like me and my husband do we put our money together pay everything then plot what’s left between us. You should also have a nice savings account. If you has the money you say he’d improve his house if he wanted
Not sure, did you ask him way
Should have never spent all that money on house without your name being on it now if y’all divorce you get nothing
You need to buy another property in your name. Quit investing in something you and your kids will not inherit.
I wouldn’t worry about that. It’s just a house and honestly after a divorce it’s a good idea to plan to leave the next marriage with what you brought to it. You never know what will happen
I would draft a legal document stating that if you two divorce, you receive the money you put into it and maybe a percentage of what the house is worth to help as a down payment for a house for you and the kids.
He’s been burned by his ex and doesn’t want to make the same mistake twice, so it makes sense. Maybe in time he may change his mind but until then, ask him to do this for you so you know you won’t be homeless and broke if something happens in the future
Buy another house as a rental property for your own kids when you did. Or, sell the house you’re living in now and buy one together.
What was his reasoning behind not putting your name on the home? I think the two of you need to sit down and talk rationally about it, if it ends up he doesn’t want your name on the home then stop putting money into his home, get a life insurance policy that will provide for your children when you are gone.
This is a tricky one you know what if I were you I would start looking at other properties and tell him if he doesn’t put you on this property you’re gonna go find your own Or you may look together, Or the 3rd option he puts you as partial owner on the current property, that’s not fair that you have put so much money into it and yet if something happens he will Have nothing to lose, But yet you lose everything
What should you do? Take the shit that is moveable and leave. Sounds like you’re single w a shitty room mate
Unfortunately that house is his and even being married you have no rights to it bc it was purchased before marriage.
You need to first check the rules in your state that you live. Where I live even tho my name is not on the house I still because I am married to him own 1/2 the home.
I wouldn’t put another penny into that house! I would buy my own house! Tell him he needs to pay you back what you put into his house!
Buy your own house and remodeling that and move your things on that property. Rent if you like or stay there if you like, but he wants mine and yours, let him have his. I have bought a car and a pickup. Paid cash in both and MY money. I still put both in both our names. We are equal. MY money is HIS money. HIS money is MY money. It’s OURS. Home and all…we are a team, and there is no “I” in team.
I’m not on the mortgage but I am on the deed to our house
Quit putting money into it. Your kids will get nothing and you won’t have a house if he dies
Can you blame him? I’ve been divorced for 7 years and remarried, and we still don’t share a bank account. It’s traumatizing for some people, who cares.
Seems like he wants to protect his assets after the first marriage ending. I understand his reasoning behind it.
But you chose to put that money into that house.
Draft of something between you two stating if the marriage ends you get the money you put in for upgrades and remodels.
Since you’re not paying a mortgage maybe invest in a rental property solely owned by you for your children.
Your doing to much. Invest in your own property and use it as rental. Stop investing so much into his home that he won’t allow you to make payments on or deed to you. Work smarter not harder.
Don’t listen to fb. Check the rules in your state!
Hmmm so you don’t pay for the mortgage but you want your name added? Not sure what state you are in but technically 1/2 of the value increase from the time you got married to him
Is yours. I would say have him pay you back on the things you bought for the house but know that the house doesn’t belong to you - just a portion of the value if you guys ever get divorced.
That house is going to his kids. 1 year in is a little soon and youve done way to much.
Why are you so concerned about your kids getting their part of a gazebo? Get life insurance for your kids and call it a day. This doesn’t need to be a point of contention.
I wouldn’t pay anything more towards that house. No improvements, nothing. But on the other hand, even if the house is not in your name you are still entitled to 50% because of your marriage. Community Property.
Have him put you on the deed and not the mortgage.
I would have put all that money into something of your own that your kids can inherit. I am sorry to say but you threw money away.
I hate to be that one person BUT… have the two of you actually discussed this and have you been given a reason? If not, maybe that would be a good idea. It’s a little unfair for a bunch of strangers to label this guy a dirt bag when we only have a brief summary of the ordeal. You know him better than any of us do. The money you’ve invested into the house could’ve gone into an account for your children should something happen to you.
The money you’d be putting into fixing it up or payments, I’d invest in my own property to ensure your kids get something
And this type of stuff is the reason why I am choosing never to get married.
I’m happy to work and take care of my kids on my own and pay money towards something that’s mine and my kids.
Never in a million years, would I invest so much money into something that doesn’t even belong to me nor would I work so hard so anyone other than me and my kids could have nice things if they wouldn’t do the same for me.
Depends on where you live. In Texas if he has a will and it doesn’t include you, you can stay in the house until you die or decide to move out, at which time the kids get the house. If he has no will the estate is devided equally between you and the kids but you can still live in the house forever. If you stay in the house you will have to pay property taxes, the mortgage, and the upkeep.
Do you live in a community property state
You need to get a will done in case he were to pass b4 you, naming you , his wife, as the sole inheritor
Maybe he has a fear because of how the last divorce went. I wouldn’t put anyones name on things I worked for before they came around… just me. This should have been discussed before you got married to make sure your on the same page. I wouldn’t continue putting money into it unless the plan is to sell & buy with both your names.
I live in MO and it was my house and when we married it became his house also that what they said
In the court of the law you are entitled to half of it, no matter if yr name is on it or not
I’m sorry but I’m not investing in a property that doesn’t have my name on it. 
Go to court. If you put more money in, he can’t do shit
… if he doesn’t want to put you on the house, he can give you back the money you put into the house. Also, depending on where you are, you’re married, so half of his is yours anyways on the deed or not
You’ll need to speak with an attorney in your state. State laws vary concerning marital property.
Have him put on notarized writing if he ever sells the house or if u are no longer together he reimburses u in the amount of $30 something thousand. & if u are to pass it gets dived between ur childrens name. & do not invest in anything else.
It means you should tell him you aren’t making another payment to help with anything to do with that house til your name is on it 
Stop doing it. Tell him your quitting your second job.Je can pay for the house sense it’s his.
Invest your money elsewhere. He’s scared.
Uhhhhh why did you marry him.
Get a life insurance policy on yourself for your kids…
Stop putting money into his house and buy your own property for your kids.
Though that is a lot in renovation and additional things for outside like the gazebo. But only being together 3 years I wouldn’t add you to the home either.
You say “what about my kids when I die” ok. What about his when he dies? If you guys are to old to have more kids I assume you kids are grown now. That house was bought by him and he’s paid the majority of the price of the home and you’re not paying on it. That house wouldn’t and shouldnt be left to your kids anyway- should be for his kids.
If you guys ever divorce he or you will either sell the extra items such as the gazebo and he will just have to repay you the amount of the renovations/additions. Good on him for wanting to keep the things he went into the marriage with.
He is protecting himself. You do the same .
I do not care if you are the 8th wife . If you two are happy and have a blended family the home goes to the wife when he dies or you die. I also have been with my hub for 20 years married by the eyes of Texas . We had that talk around close from the 3rd to the 5th year because I knew his mom and I would not like each other in any future. He must be listening to his dad and his kids who are being selfish. I also have put plenty of money I put into our home like you but I did it because he left me on the will for everything from work to our home . If he will not then he is using excuses . He had his parents on his will from work to home until he was sure from 3 to 5 years we would be lasting and we were both in agreement and had talks about it . No kids get any of it until both are gone . Draw up papers that you get your money back into that home or you should of never put all that money into it when he refused . He has issues of trust and so did mine but it was not hard to see by year 3 to 5 we were into the long haul of a live together marriage but Texas sees us a real marriage long ago. I would of never applied my money I got into our home after my parents died had he been acting like that . My children get what is ever left over after we are both gone because we are a family . Good luck. Check how it runs in your state and city.
Talk to a lawyer bc some states will say it’s both if yours, some won’t. Every state is different.
Ok if you plan to stay with him (10years) it will be half yours. I say 10 because that’s what it was in CA. Look into the laws in your state. See how long you need to be married before you have to equally split assets. I’d be angry but sounds like he is protecting himself.
He’s not letting you pay any thing so that you are not entitled to anything as far as communal property.
He knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s trying to screw you out of any claim to any property if you guys got a divorce. Depending on what state you live in you’re still entitled to compensation for any money that you spent. I would contact a lawyer in your area. And for real I would stop putting any money into his home.
Just get a will that says when he passes the home goes you and after your passing his kids. As for you children get a person life insurance policy that will help them when you pass.
Get a house to leave for your kids, rent it out
Ask him for the money you put into the house so you can buy another one for your children, legally there is nothing you can do
I know in the of Michigan when you’re married and there is no prenup stating something different, you’re entitled to half of whatever he has and he’s entitled to half of whatever you have whether each others names on it or not. My name was the only one on my house and my ex husband still gets half of it.
Use that money from that 2nd job for a life insurance policy with your kids as beneficiaries. What’s his reason?
I owned my home prior to my marriage and my new husband pays half the mortgage and bills and I have not added him. The value of my home as increased by 200k since I bought it. I was clear about it before we got married. I have a child and he has none and none will be added. This is the only thing I have to give her and we’ve discussed. I was married before for 11yrs and I lost everything so I’m not willing to just give up what I have after being married to someone for 2yrs. Maybe you guys need to have a discussion
Hopefully he dies first and leaves it to you, so you can share it out equally between the kids?! 
Don’t worry about it who cares
If something ever happens you’d have to sell it and give you have anyway
Talk a a lawyer and find out where you stand if he expires
Take all your money from the job that pays the most put it in a separate account for your kids
When builds up put on CD’S for your kids
Buy your own house and let that petty shit go. There’s no reason to be keeping track of who paid what in a marriage.
He probably can’t refinance because of his bad credit
What state are you in, look up your spousal rights in that state. You also need to put yourself and your children first just like he is. My husband and I have separate bank accounts but we split everything 50/50. We were both burned in previous relationships however we both are making sure our children are taken care of as well as whichever one of us is the last to go. That’s what partners do.
Depending where you live the law is 50 50.
Invest in rental property and keep it in your name.
He’s playing games…don’t give another dime until he respects you
Sounds like he got a great deal… I’d stop making it an even better one!
Well first stop putting money into HIS house. If he’s not willing to put you on the deed stop repairing and updating things.
Get on the deed at the very least and get a will and proper life insurance!
Look at your state laws.
Start investing your money outside the house. Make your kids the beneficiaries.
You’re married. It’s yours too.
Tell him to pay you back and forget it.
Move out, threaten divorce until he adds your name. The problem is you didn’t get a pre-nup & that would have protected you. Also demand he gets a sizable life insurance policy (at least 250K) - you would be the sole beneficiary. It would pay off the house & replace his income should anything happen to him. Idk what his reason is for not adding you but don’t let him take advantage any longer. Get serious, put your foot down & don’t stop until you get what you need & want. Right now if he left or divorced you, you & your children could end up homeless & you do not want that. Explain to him that a wife is an EQUAL partner in a marriage, you both live-in the home, you have contributed to increase the value of the home & your name needs to be added to the deed, you are his wife. Period. Make him work 2 jobs. Sounds like he likes the current arrangement, why wouldn’t he ? He wins I want you to win, be treated as an equal life partner/wife in your life together. Protect yourself, dear, VERY important.
Get a divorce and run 🏃♂️!!
Pray you stay healthy and able to work enjoy what you have and never forget who is really in charge. JESUS you can talk to him about your situation.
You’re married it’s half yours legally
Speaking from experience…he isn’t about to put your name on the house but he will be happy to keep taking your money. Stop paying the lion’s share. Quit your second job. Be satisfied with less and if he wants more, then talk about equity. I’m sorry this is happening to you. I am the voice of experience. I learned the hard way. I lost everything I ever invested in Dan and got nothing out of the relationship and all my hard earned money except a computer when it was over. Put your money into a savings account in your name only. Put your children’s name on the account. If things go south, your children can draw out all the money and save it for you. Then you’ll have something to start out with when it is over. And not just a computer.
Well if you have life insurance or any personal belongings I’d say that could help your kids but your husband of one years home that he had long before you came into the picture would go to his children not yours.
Sounds like he has one foot out the door just in case. He seems jaded from his first marriage and is taking it out on you
Not sure why you put so much of your own money into something you don’t have rights to… I’m sure since your husband has gone through that battle of divorce, he’s just trying to protect something he’s invested so much into. Frankly, and I may be the odd man out here, I don’t believe he owes your kids a house that he’s paid the mortgage on. That’s my two cents.
To be honest with you since he has already been divorced and due to being behind payments and having to need his dad to co-sign he probably already almost lost the house once. Maybe it’s has nothing to do with you personally but his own fear of losing his home to a possible divorce again (not that I’m saying this is even a possibility) but I’m sure it causes insecurities since he has been through it before. I’m sure he also wants to make sure he has something to leave his kids. Since you have only been married a year I would express to him how you feel discuss with him- say your 5 year wedding anniversary, he adds you to the house. If you don’t plan on going anywhere and you love this man and are confident in your marriage then waiting shouldn’t be an issue. But with that said I wouldn’t be doing anymore “upgrades” until you can be confident that you and your kids also get a piece of this home. Best of luck! It’s kinda of a sticky situation 
The price of the home matters. Maybe dad helped bail him out and has money in the house too. If it’s a 500k home and you only put in 36k no you shouldn’t be on it. Sell the house and purchase one together. If not, you and your kids are SOL because it was his before marriage.
Stop sinking your money into his house and start investing into something that will be yours and can be left to your children. If you die your kids have no righta to his house. His children would get that as they are next of kin. Unless he has it written in his will for your kids to get a portion. Which it honestly doesnt sound like he would do that.
It really depends. My ex and I were married for over 10 years and owned our home together for 3 years. He refinanced a year before I filed for divorce and left my name off of it. Even after 10 years of marriage I wasn’t entitled to any of it because I wasn’t on any paperwork anymore. Which worked out great because he ended up letting it go into foreclosure and now he’s the only one with that debt.