Yea I wasn’t adding you either with only $27000 left and one year in the marriage either. I also wasn’t going allow those expensive add ins either because it will be unfair to you. At this point the house was going to my kids.
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He’s protecting himself , his children and his assets. I imagine his divorce was probably dramatic and he doesn’t want to go through the mess of the house again. Or maybe he’s scared you’ll try to take his home. Men have insecurities as well especially after going through a previous divorce. Stop putting money into something that isn’t yours. He won’t put your name on it but he doesn’t ask you to pay for it either so Get over it and buy stuff in your name to leave to your kids. It’s also not his responsibility to make sure you have a house to leave to your kids. He had the property way before you came into his life.
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I wouldn’t run straight to divorce. If this is something you’ve agreed on and trust him… what’s the big deal?
I suppose I wouldn’t have invested in the house without being on the deed to begin with. I get you may have wanted to prove yourself worthy of being added but that should of been a conversation. It sounds like you may just have to eat those upgrades and count it as a pure act of love. I can say as someone who owns a home I wouldn’t have added you but I also wouldn’t have allowed those upgrades. And if I did I would of made it clear I wasn’t gonna add you from the jump
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Keep ALL your receipts for everything u put n the house! Depending on your state laws depends on marriage/divorce rights. Here from the DATE U GOT MARRIED they will determine the assets/money/401k/income U & him r entitled too.
I would never move into a house a Ex once lived in or owned!
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Where I live it doesn’t matter if your on the house or not, you still get it if he dies. Your just not responsible for the payments 
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It’s his house that you moved into and did upgrades too. That’s all on you unless you have every receipt for all they work done. Seems kinda weird to do all that for someone else house. But who am I.
Get life insurance if you’re worried about your kids. His house has nothing to do to with anyone
Both go to a lawyer and talk about it. Will be a solution. Or buy an investment property your self
Quit putting money in HIS house and start saving for your kids
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Why wasn’t this discussed before marriage? You would think 2 people “too old to have kids” would be wise enough to discuss how things would happen after signing a marriage license. Stop improving his house and improve your life. The house isn’t even solely his if his father is on the deed. Just like you’re worried about having assets for your kids he’s doing the same thing. He isn’t wrong.
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I would put a lien on the house for the additions you put into it and when it sells or transfers names you’ll get your money back
I wouldn’t invest anymore money into the house and purchase something in a trust for your kids. Something that protects their future
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Go buy your own house
Have him start paying you back all the money you have put into the house improvements. You added value to his house, he owes you that back or file a lean against the deed. Other wise you may as well kiss that money good bye. If he won’t put your name on it, you have no other recourse to protect your investment. Be blunt and tell him that.
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You should not have spent any money on house " he is a selfish person & if you part part you can get half of value of home " so stop working your but off for the piece of 
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It’s your house the night you sleep their once your married. Don’t let him fool you. It’s the law!
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Labor lean! Keep all receipts and records
Sell the gazebo and the building, take your loss on the remodel. Don’t invest anymore into the house. Shoulda got a pre nup
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I would not spend money adding to house,if you should split you lose all and if not I’m sure he will leave it to his Children and you lose both ways.
you’re married. it’s half yours regardless if your names on it. just like any debt or other property is. idk if that’s how it works in your state but where I live is a community property state.
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If I were you, I would purchase a house and rent it out. You can make an investment from the rent and also have a house in your name to leave to your children. I would not expect him to sign over a house he had before you two got together, that would be unfair. And although it seems unfair because you put money into it, but that was your choice to make because you are living there and wanted the upgrades. You will still benefit from the upgrades while you spend your life there.
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You need to save your money honey n go buy you your own house without his name on it n start remodeling your own home.
I wouldn’t put my spouse on my house either. If we buy one together ok but I’m not adding his name to my current place. Sounds like your just worried about getting your share of assets if something were to happen. But just so you know if you split it doesn’t matter who’s name the house is in. I’d run if I were him 
also as for if you guys pass it depends on the last will and testament who will get the house.
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Stop playing tit for tat. It was his home.
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I would say that’s a smart thing to do and safe in today’s world. Financially it sounds you’re doing good, best idea would be to start investing in your own property instead of his because when it’s all said and done it will be his not yours. You might be wasting your time or maybe not, that is if you go back to the negotiation table with him. He is playing safe, I’m pretty sure you understand this. Most won’t they’re half of what doesn’t belong to, this sounds like I messed up in your case, sometimes you need to work it out I’ll move on.
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Well you shouldn’t of put that much money into a property you don’t own. Quit putting money into his house and save to buy your own and fix it up and use as a rental or simply just start saving your money anything other than what your doing (investing into a property you don’t own).
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Buy a house and rent it out until you leave bc eventually you will get sick of him being selfish
Adding your name might require refinancing. It all differs by state. I’m no expert.
But you’re clearly uncomfortable and upset with him. It’s time for a talk. What are your and his financial expectations? How will each of you find your retirement? What does your retirement look like? How will each of you fund your kids’ college educations?
Blended families are complicated and blended finances even more so. Once you discuss your financial futures, then it’s time to speak with a financial planner and probably a probate lawyer to set your plans into motion.
Everything should be shared all assets. Prayers
It doesn’t sound like he’s begged you for any of the additions or remodels sounds like you wanted to improve where you’re living. Are you thinking of leaving him or divorcing him because you don’t sound like you had a problem with just his name on the deed until now. There’s so much information missing from your post but it basically boils down to you have to decide what you want first
If he dies u all get nothing and have to move unless he leaves a will or fight it in court. Sounds like it might go to his father.Your not on the house. If u divorce you could get something either the right lawyer. Stop putting money into the house if he won’t add you. Get life insurance fir just your kids and leave him out. Anyways not sure on all of it maybe even talk to a lawyer.
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Keep receipts and don’t add anything more on.
Buy your own house. He obviously doesn’t want you to own the one he bought. Plan for your future.
why post ask a lawyer !
Your married it’s half yours anyway
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That’s his house and oh so kind of you to make it better. Your kids shouldn’t expect anything and his kids will inherit his home when he dies.
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Buy your own and rent it out to cover mortage
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Depends on the state, but common law could take over. Check with an estate attorney, as you have paid to improve and maintain the property you have a financial right to maintain the property upon his death.
Sounds like it was his separate property. Unless he refinanced and added you then, you wouldn’t be on the house docs
Well same thing if he dies the spouse gets the house if it is their joint residence. In divorce you can get the equity that was built when u lived together in it.
Where I am, if you’re married it didn’t matter if your name is on the mortgage… but… in the event of divorce, the spouse that married the home owner is only entitled to any equity after the marriage. (Likewise to any debt).
The only way you would be entitled to anything with this house is if your husband does a quit claim on the mortgage and adds your name to it. I work in the mortgage industry. Just because you’re his spouse, does not entitle you yo anything at all. So if he dies before your name gets added to the deed under a refinance quit claim, the father in law can legally evict you and sell the house out from underneath you. Just because you’ve done all the remodeling on it, also doesn’t entitle you to anything. The home would go to the co-signer which is the father in law, so he’ll have the option to give back to the bank or sell it. You have no entitlement to the home just because you’re married. It wasn’t bought while you were married, nor were you added to the deed once he refinanced to take his ex wife off. Your name is nowhere on it, so you’re entitled to nothing. You’re looked at to the bank as an “occupant” and not an authorized account holder.
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You shouldn’t have put any type of equity into it until it was also in your name.
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In my opinion Marriage is meant to be together as one building a good life together and for each other and our kids. If my partner didn’t have the same values i possibly wouldn’t even be with them. I wouldn’t be putting in for his home. I’d pay half the bills and save to invest for yours and your kids future. Maybe sit down with him and talk about where you see it all heading. Pro ably something you should have already done
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Has he told you why he won’t let you on it? Refinancing may be his issue… and that shouldn’t be a big deal, because in the end it helps both of you out… Refinancing (especially so soon) may make a higher payment and a longer term, and no one really wants that.
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Find out the laws in your state. Does your name need to be on the deed to the house even though you two are married? Talk to legal side or get a free consultation with a lawyer. Go get answers to your questions, you might not need to argue, fight or concern yourself about this. And keep the receipts/records for all of the additions that you’ve made to the house.
You just threw away a LOT of money. I’m sorry but imo he is making sure YOU don’t get the house in the event of his death. Sounds more like he’s using you than anything… think, what would his lifestyle look like without your income? Would he struggle to pay the bills? I’d be seriously thinking deeply about things if it were me. Js.
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I’d just stop putting things into it. And get your own property! Rent it out and leave it to your kids! I think majority of these comments are really rude tbh. Because he did accept her “gifts” and I’m sure she didn’t just pick things out herself! I get you want to be financially secured you got to be
Pay a solicitor for an advice…make a will. Since you are married to him, you are entitled to some shares. Just save your money and perhaps give them to your kids. You are contributing even if you were not paying the house payments…see a solicitor…even for few hundreds of dollars but at least you will know where you stand.
If something were to happen to you or you to get divorced because while you were to put money into the house while you are married the equity gained from that would entitle you to half of that equity that you added to the house while married. Make sure you and your kids have records of that. You can’t make him out you on the title unfortunately. Just keep pristine records of improvements made to the home and you would be entitled to half of that.
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Go see a Real Estate Attorney…
Get an advice from an attorney. If you go to their association, they usually recommend someone helpful to your case. The advice is usually free the first time. Save all your receipts, and if you are married under California laws, you might get a chance. Unless, you had signed a prenuptial agreement. Next time look with who you married. It is obvious this con artist only thinks in “his” family and you are not included. Lear to love your self more, instead of loving others above you .
I’d never have put down the thousands you did without being on the title. You likely won’t see that money again
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Unpopular response here but huge red flag to me. You are married so it does not matter how much each of you invested. When you marry it is all or nothing. I am sorry this is happening to you. Marriage is a partnership in which each person invest and do not measure what each brings. You have a right to feel this way.
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Marriage counseling might help, you need we not I or why did you get married.
tell him he owes you $36,000. get a lawyer put a lien on the house and if he dies and the father in law wants to sell he would have to pay you off before anything could be done. Next time have the hard conversation and dont spend a dime until it’s 50/50 and you cover your butt. Do NoT put another dime into this property.
Stop paying for repairs n remodeling.
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Basically you really can’t do anything. If he has a will he can do several things leave the house to his kids, and leave everything else to you or leave the house to his dad, since he co signed the loan. You knew this from the beginning, so why complain now? Why spend all your money on all the things you brought. ? Yes I hope you did keep the receipt for those. And did you ever think you just might die before him, so then you have nothing to worry about. But if you have your own kids, you can leave all of your things, including bank accounts, retirement funds to them & not your husband !! Get a lawyer & make out your Will if not already done
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Start looking for your own don’t invest anymore in his property,after all marriages/relationships don’t always last I’m not saying your may not ,BUT it’s a cold harsh truth.start putting measures in place for your kids as he’s doing for his
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I’d stop paying for the repairs and remodeling. You need to start a savings account separately for your children. Edited to add: you could also save your money and purchase land to rent out and leave to your children.
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Maybe , Stop putting money into the house ?
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He is an idiot.he should have added you once you started making upgrades and because you are paying most if the bills
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I wouldn’t invest anymore of your money. Life insurance in your name would cover your kids and have a bank account with your name only and your kids listed as POD. Then enjoy your life.
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What is his reason for not adding you on the title?
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Sounds like, honestly, you should invest in YOUR own home. Only his name is on it so he can give it to just his kids if he wants. Put your money towards your own place and build value in it so you KNOW your kids will have something. Don’t repair or put anymore money towards his house. Tell him if it is only his, only his name on it then you are no longer putting money into it.
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I’d ask for my money back that has paid for all the renovating. If the home isn’t yours then why pay for it.
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- U should never put money in something u don’t own or that isn’t in your name
- Huge red flag
- Sorry but I don’t see this relationship working out. Why wasn’t this discussed in the beginning.
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i actually know a lot of people in this situation. this does you no good now but i make sure to teach my kids lessons i’ve learned and this one would be a good lesson to teach them, “always talk about finances and life goals and plans and expectations before you get married” pre marriage counseling is a great thing for that.
now that your married, i would live life and not worry about it for now. it is a pretty new relationship and hopefully down the road he will feel more comfortable and trusting.
my husband and i have a great marriage but we did do a year of marriage counseling and it turned out I wasn’t trusting him all the way with things that i didn’t realize i wasn’t trusting him with. for example, he really was wanting me to be a stay at home mom and be at home. i had a career that i was just couldn’t let go of even though i LOVED the idea of staying home. turns out, because of past relationships and the way i was raised, i was subconsciously not fully trusting my husband to pay the bills or maybe we wouldn’t stay together, “i need my career ‘just in case’” so i actually apologized, learned more about myself and let those worries and my past go. i was able to tell my husband “i trust you completely, i’ll stay at home” but i am on the deed to the house, but my name isn’t on our truck or our camper. i don’t pay any bills or groceries but i know Idaho, if we did get a divorce, i get something for it.
this is a good idea, maybe ask him how he feels about putting your name on the deed of the house, not the mortage. then if he died suddenly, you would still be able to keep the roof over your head ect.
Do Not put anymore into this house!
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If he won’t add you to the title of the home, ask your husband pay you back for the upgrades and invest that money into something for yourself or your children
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Ask him to pay you back everything you out into the house. Otherwise your kids will get nothing. Your hubby is selfish.
This is the exact reason I won’t put my money into fixing the house. It’s under his name but my name isn’t on the deed. My sister made the mistake of putting well over 12k into a house that was purchased in her bf and the bfs stepdads name. When they divorced she didn’t get anything out of it.
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When the house needs something tell him it’s not my house. He sounds like he’s using you.
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Sounds to me like hes just using you for financial support until he gets good on his own,i would invest in my own place,and stop investing in his
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Put a lien on it if you can.
Let’s look at this from legal standpoint.
Every state is different so this is a difficult question to answer for someone with no legal background. I would spend the money to consult with a Real Estate and/or a Family Law Attorney.
Do you have proof of the things that you purchased for the house upgrades? Keep all receipts and hopefully you put those items on a credit card where you have that proof.
Do you have wills, and has he willed the house to you if something happens to him?
Do you live in a community property state? That will be a key factor. It is considered separate property, but in some states 10 years makes you a “tenured wife” and you have more rights.
Depending on what info you get from a legal professional, you can then make an informed decision how you would like to proceed.
I personally would cease making major purchases for upgrades. Demand that he pay half the groceries and household supplies, and depending on what information you get from an attorney, issue an ultimatum; refinance with my name on the loan and pay half of family expenses or I am getting my own place, taking the out building and gazebo with me or you can pay me what I paid for them (not current value). Tell him that you will be filing taxes as “married but filing single” in the future. Do not issue an ultimatum unless you are prepared to follow through and accept the consequences.
If possible, open an account in your name with a trusted friend or family member and start putting money away for your future, and your children’s, that he cannot touch. or have a parent help you with that. You would have to get a PO Box in your name and have information sent to PO Box. Keep the key at your office not at home.
Again, this is just my opinion and what I would do being aware of my rights in the state if live in.
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Leave. he could kick you out and take over.
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Why would you put money into something that will never be yours
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Don’t invest another dime in that house. It belongs to him and his daddy. You will never own any part of it. He is protecting himself and his children. You and your children are not part of that. You have already given him $36,000. Stop buying all the groceries. He can put you out anytime he chooses to and there is nothing you can do. Save your money!! In some states, even if you were to go ahead and buy you a house, that you could rent out, he would legally be entitled to it. I suggest you see a lawyer so you can protect you and your children.
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If your married your intitled to half of what he owes name on it or not.But bill’s too.So no worries
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You a dummy. Put all that money into a house that isn’t yours. Nothing you can do. It’s his house. If he doesn’t want to add you? It’s your loss.
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I won’t be the popular one in answering this, but at the end of the day, if he refinanced and his father co-signed, then he is correct in not adding your name after just taking his ex’s off. Keep all receipts and documentation of add-ons and upgrades to the home. If (God forbid) you had to split, then community property would apply no matter who’s name is on things.
Also, you both have children in a blended household. How is that working out? If it’s great, then the only thing you all need to do is Living Wills, and POAs. Make sure you do this fairly and together, with the vision of ‘if’ something should happen to either of you or BOTH 10 yrs down the road. The picture is not so much yours/mine, but more emphasis on ‘ours’. Good luck to you and your family. 
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You are married so half of it belongs to you anyway. Stop contributing towards it from today. You have spent more than enough money.
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Start looking for your own property to own. YOU should be investing in your children. He has been to his apparently.
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Girl quit investing in something that is not yours and never will be by the sounds of it. You might as well go throw your money out the window. Take that money and put it in a account just in your name.
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Keep your receipts. .
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Probably something that should have been discussed BEFORE you spent that money. I cant say I blame him, he has almost spent half his life paying for that house. Why should he put you on the deed, So in 10 more year you take it from him??? I don’t blame him at all!!
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Buy a property in your name only put it into a trust and your kids as trustees all the extra stuff that you have bought for your husband property move it. He has the experience from his 1st divorce. Which means he look at the( WHEN we don’t work you’re not taking anything of mine.) So either he does have faith in your relationship or he plans on leaving you high and dry 
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Sale that house and start over🤷🏼♀️
Stop spending money on his house and buy something for your kids. Some fixer upper so you can rent it later or open an account for your kids
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Stop working 2 jobs and spend time with your family instead of ploughing money into something that isn’t yours. I can understand his hesitation adding another name onto a property after 1 messy divorce. Enjoy what you have and have a conversation about what will happen. If he is looking to leave to his kids only in his will, start saving for your babies.
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Stop investing your money in the house, he can leave it to his kids. Invest in something else to leave your children.
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I’m sorry, I don’t really see the issue with this? Your investing money into your home together. Why does it matter if your named on the deed or not? Are you planning on leaving and taking him for half 
If y’all divorce, depending on where you’re at, he will have to give you the cost of the repairs and improvements to the home. But that doesn’t sound like a very fair marriage to me.
Stop putting money into the house . You need to find out legally by lawyer. Some states have common laws and/or other procedures they can apply.
Maybe he doesnt want you to have that debt on your name
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I don’t think it will matter keeping receipts unless he is specifically asking you to make the repairs/add ons.
If your married,half is yours
I am sure when his first wife and he divorced his lawyer advised him to leave it to children. You may be new to it but he certainly has an advantage of having gone through it before.
I appreciate your helping the home but technically it was his before you and I would be Leaving it to children who share that history prior…
Thats probably what they intended when they bought it with his dad on the loan. It belongs to HIS family estate and not yours
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Depending on the state you live in it very well not matter. Consult an attorney for correct facts. My thoughts are if someone does me like this I’d not spend another dime and I may even take revenge on his assets. Hit him with a lean on his house. Lord only knows he’s up to something. Better yet have him take out a loan to purchase a house you desire and move then divorce his butt and take the new house problem solved.