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"I wanna start out by saying my husband is an amazing husband and father who loves me very much and treats me very well… but when we go out in public he checks out other women. He used to do it out in the open until I told him how bad it bothered me but now he tries to secretly do it and it’s not just one little look he tries to secretly look multiple times and act like he’s not doing it. I don’t even say anything anymore, I haven’t for a long time. I’ve heard multiple times I’m just insecure but I feel like my feelings are valid and it’s very disrespectful. It makes me hate going out in public with him sometimes and honestly its just creepy too. Sometimes it’s to the point to where I just wanna give up on this marriage but then I feel stupid because he is such an amazing husband. I just don’t understand because when I see other guys with their women they don’t check out any other women in front of theirs all they care about is their woman and that’s it… am I just being to dramatic?"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I see no harm in checking people out. Here’s my saying. You can look at the menu but u can’t order."
"This is disrespectful. Call him out loudly a couple times when he does it. I’ll bet he stops."
"Let it go. If he’s faithful and loves you it’s nothing to fret over. Its okay to look…You should try it."
"Not being over dramatic at all, I could understand if they were online and he wouldn’t ever met them in real life most likely. But if he’s doing it still and can’t respect your boundary regardless how silly to some people it may be; he’s disrespecting you and your boundary. Set the boundary again in a nice way and if he continues let him know you’ve been thinking about leaving him over it"
"Seriously stop giving a crap. You will drive yourself crazy dwelling on it."
"You are not being dramatic. If you are openly expressing your feelings and telling your husband that something is bothering you and he continues to do it right in front of you, there is a problem. Every relationship has different boundaries. Just because something is okay in my relationship doesn’t mean it will be in yours. And that’s perfectly normal. I don’t have any advice on how to fix it other than trying to talk to him again, but just know you’re not being dramatic. You’re entitled to your feelings no matter what."
"it’s a normal thing for us to check out the opposite sex. It’s looking not touching."
"I have a saying you can look but can’t touch"
"It’s ok to look as long as he doesn’t act upon it"
"Key words he’s a great husband… Men are men they are going to look. Either be okay with it or leave that’s really your only options."
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